Life defining Mistake

[confusedme]

I was arrested and taken to a police station and spent the night in custody. The accusation is rape of a minor. The reality is she told me she was of age, looked a lot older an the act as fully consensual. My story to date is a sad and familiar one of items taken and released on bail whilst knowing few details. I feel the bail date represents an end point for me, I am married and have children. I had no knowledge of the crime I am accused of yet I feel so awful.

To date have fully co-operated with the Police and intend to engage an expert solicitor., whilst waiting in vain for her to say the truth.

[Casehardened]

Hi and a sad welcome to the forum,

As you mentioned your story is not an unfamiliar one to this forum and all you can do is endure whilst the system grinds through the process.

It sounds like you've already had a look through the the sections of the forum but if you've not read this link it may answer some of your concerns:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

There is a considerable difference in how the justice system views intercourse with under and over thirteens though technically anyone under sixteen cannot give consent.

[Peter1975]

A sad but warm welcome confused.

An expert solicitor is your no.1 priority. There are some recommended ones on the boards but feel free to ask if there are any in your area.Although I think generally co operating with the investigation is your only course of action, you shouldn't ever speak to police without a solicitor present

As CH mentions, if the complainant is over 13, the law ( i think) offers a defence if the complainant could reasonably be believed to have looked/acted older than 16. It would help if any witnesses saw you together that could say they thought she was 18 or whatever....

Make sure you look after yourself and keep posting for support.

[confusedme]

Solicitor

A sad but warm welcome confused.

An expert solicitor is your no.1 priority. There are some recommended ones on the boards but feel free to ask if there are any in your area.Although I think generally co operating with the investigation is your only course of action, you shouldn't ever speak to police without a solicitor present

As CH mentions, if the complainant is over 13, the law ( i think) offers a defence if the complainant could reasonably be believed to have looked/acted older than 16. It would help if any witnesses saw you together that could say they thought she was 18 or whatever....

Make sure you look after yourself and keep posting for support.

I am seeing a solicitor today Jacqui Callan of Richard Nelson LLP. The girl in question has apparently admitted she said she was 17. Will this make any difference to whether I am charged?.

[soulbug]

I am seeing a solicitor today Jacqui Callan of Richard Nelson LLP. The girl in question has apparently admitted she said she was 17. Will this make any difference to whether I am charged?.

Well at a guess , I would say a few things will be weighed up first , how old is the girl ? if very close to 16 and looks older then that has to go in your favour , if she has lied all the way down the line to you and at no time has she hinted at her real age , then I would say that will go in your favor.......but for example , if she is say 12-14 years old and looks 12-14 years old then things have to be considered.....plus if the girl is local to you , local enough to be in your local area and perhaps is a friend of a friend , where perhaps you may of known the girls real age or could of very easily of found out futher details.

Had you been round to the girls house and met her parents ?

I think also your age will come into this to.

Your legal advice will of course give you the best answer.

But it has to be in your favour that she has admitted that she has lied , I imagine this has come to the polices attention by the girl talking to a friend or family member telling them in a good way , that she has met someone etc , but then the person been told has told someone else or has become concerned because of her age and has told her parents or a teacher....the girl may not be crying rape , but she has done the decent thing and told the truth.

But sex with a minior though is illegal.

I hope it all blows over for you and you can put this down as a honest mistake.

[Pond31]

I am seeing a solicitor today Jacqui Callan of Richard Nelson LLP. The girl in question has apparently admitted she said she was 17. Will this make any difference to whether I am charged?.

Hi confusedme

I would say that your FA saying she was 17 when she wasn't brings her honesty into question. If she mentioned it straight away in her police interview , then that would be better for her, however if it took her time to admit this fact, such as waiting for her ABE interview or only admitting in when questioned about it then her honesty would come into question more. Charges are a way down the line.

Pond31

[confusedme]

Well at a guess , I would say a few things will be weighed up first , how old is the girl ? if very close to 16 and looks older then that has to go in your favour , if she has lied all the way down the line to you and at no time has she hinted at her real age , then I would say that will go in your favor.......but for example , if she is say 12-14 years old and looks 12-14 years old then things have to be considered.....plus if the girl is local to you , local enough to be in your local area and perhaps is a friend of a friend , where perhaps you may of known the girls real age or could of very easily of found out futher details.

Had you been round to the girls house and met her parents ?

I think also your age will come into this to.

Your legal advice will of course give you the best answer.

But it has to be in your favour that she has admitted that she has lied , I imagine this has come to the polices attention by the girl talking to a friend or family member telling them in a good way , that she has met someone etc , but then the person been told has told someone else or has become concerned because of her age and has told her parents or a teacher....the girl may not be crying rape , but she has done the decent thing and told the truth.


Thankyou for replying. She told me in text she was 17 and was on a website as 18. She is not local and I have of idea of her parents or background except what she told me. I understand she went home and told her mother an it has escalated from there. It never occurred to me she said it wasn't consensual to be honest but of course that is possible.

But sex with a minior though is illegal.

I hope it all blows over for you and you can put this down as a honest mistake.

Thankyou for replying. She told me in text she was 17 and was on a website as 18. She is not local and I have of idea of her parents or background except what she told me. I understand she went home and told her mother an it has escalated from there. It never occurred to me she said it wasn't consensual to be honest but of course that is possible.

[Pond31]

Thankyou for replying. She told me in text she was 17 and was on a website as 18. She is not local and I have of idea of her parents or background except what she told me. I understand she went home and told her mother an it has escalated from there. It never occurred to me she said it wasn't consensual to be honest but of course that is possible.

Hi Confusedme

This sounds like text book case of teenage girl false allegation escalating. I think you could read your story 100 times on here. There is a study call "Gap or Chasm Rape Attritin" done by the home office in 2005. There is a section were they discuss the reason for known false allegations and your story would fit right in perfectly were the case involves a late teen FA lying to her parents or pretending she is older.

Did you have any contact with your FA after the event. Did she send you any texts or messages even on the website? Do you have a copy of her profile on the website where she says she is 18? Even the simplest contact such " I am home" or anything that is not accusatory may help you.

Pond31

[confusedme]

Hi confusedme

I would say that your FA saying she was 17 when she wasn't brings her honesty into question. If she mentioned it straight away in her police interview , then that would be better for her, however if it took her time to admit this fact, such as waiting for her ABE interview or only admitting in when questioned about it then her honesty would come into question more. Charges are a way down the line.

Pond31

I do not when she mentioned it I only know she has because the social worker told my wife (which was helpful!) I do not know if she has said or her mother so not clear on what the allegation is. I have had any contact with her since as I sent a text after just asking if she was all right but no response. I have given the police all the website details and anther one we sent me a link to she was on.

[confusedme]

I do not when she mentioned it I only know she has because the social worker told my wife (which was helpful!) I do not know if she has said or her mother so not clear on what the allegation is. I have had any contact with her since as I sent a text after just asking if she was all right but no response. I have given the police all the website details and anther one we sent me a link to she was on.

I find writing helps


Each new day I awake
The choice, to fight or to fake
Positivity were told the path to take
To fight to hold, my future to create

Each new day reflect on the past
I grasp each hour in desire it lasts
Is there a chance to change the die that was cast
Or life as before hope fading fast

Each new day cling on to hope
That it is undone of that what was spoke
Actions taken which seem not real
How can it be when I do not feel

Each new day I choose to live
One day all may be able to forgive
How can it be we find ourselves alone
When all our needs are close to home

Each new day begins again
Will this the one to keep me sane
I pray that I will leave not hate
When it is the time my soul to take

[confusedme]

I find writing helps


Each new day I awake
The choice, to fight or to fake
Positivity were told the path to take
To fight to hold, my future to create

Each new day reflect on the past
I grasp each hour in desire it lasts
Is there a chance to change the die that was cast
Or life as before hope fading fast

Each new day cling on to hope
That it is undone of that what was spoke
Actions taken which seem not real
How can it be when I do not feel

Each new day I choose to live
One day all may be able to forgive
How can it be we find ourselves alone
When all our needs are close to home

Each new day begins again
Will this the one to keep me sane
I pray that I will leave not hate
When it is the time my soul to take

I am due to attend the police station tomorrow as part of my bail conditions when I expected to be arrested or given further bail. I have spent the last month seeing this as an end point to my life. My solicitor just rang me to say I do not need to attend tomorrow and I have no further bail conditions I am released under investigation and the case is "unlikely to go anywhere" in the investigating officers words, though she hears this a lot and doesn't normally say anything as it means nothing and can change. Under investigation as they want to go through my laptop and phone to see if I am a risk to others.

Goods news one thinks as the FA has apparently confirmed my version of the event. I am confused as to why I am not cleared as if something was found on my IT devices it would be nothing to do with the accusation so why and no timescales.

It seems the accuser was only interviewed after me and I have spent a month in purgatory considered taking my life several times and my home life is torn apart. I have hired an expensive an expensive solicitor. My belongings were taken including my car and phone. laptop which are all company property and I spent a night in a cell. Fathers day ironically. How can this be until there actually exists some evidence. I am still confused and fearful and now angry.

I am still not clear all because someone couldn't accept the truth.

I am an addict and have my problems and now have my life now to sort perhaps this was all meant to be.

[confusedme]

I am due to attend the police station tomorrow as part of my bail conditions when I expected to be arrested or given further bail. I have spent the last month seeing this as an end point to my life. My solicitor just rang me to say I do not need to attend tomorrow and I have no further bail conditions I am released under investigation and the case is "unlikely to go anywhere" in the investigating officers words, though she hears this a lot and doesn't normally say anything as it means nothing and can change. Under investigation as they want to go through my laptop and phone to see if I am a risk to others.

Goods news one thinks as the FA has apparently confirmed my version of the event. I am confused as to why I am not cleared as if something was found on my IT devices it would be nothing to do with the accusation so why and no timescales.

It seems the accuser was only interviewed after me and I have spent a month in purgatory considered taking my life several times and my home life is torn apart. I have hired an expensive an expensive solicitor. My belongings were taken including my car and phone. laptop which are all company property and I spent a night in a cell. Fathers day ironically. How can this be until there actually exists some evidence. I am still confused and fearful and now angry.

I am still not clear all because someone couldn't accept the truth.

I am an addict and have my problems and now have my life now to sort perhaps this was all meant to be.

[Casehardened]

This sounds good news and must be a relief for you!

I can answer a couple of your 'whys?'; until otherwise proved (as seems to have now happened in your case) the accuser's statement is deemed as sufficient evidence to commence an investigation and as she turned out to be under age your IT devices were examined to see if there was anything on them to suggest you might have searched her out or groomed her.

[confusedme]

This sounds good news and must be a relief for you!

I can answer a couple of your 'whys?'; until otherwise proved (as seems to have now happened in your case) the accuser's statement is deemed as sufficient evidence to commence an investigation and as she turned out to be under age your IT devices were examined to see if there was anything on them to suggest you might have searched her out or groomed her.

I understand and respect the need to commence an investigation though to have my car and goods seized and put in a cell for 24 hrs with no previous record I find extreme and I am still being investigated.

[Casehardened]

I understand and respect the need to commence an investigation though to have my car and goods seized and put in a cell for 24 hrs with no previous record I find extreme and I am still being investigated.

Agreed, and to have your car seized is puzzling unless she alleged that the rape occurred in the vehicle? (Although if you stated in your interview that consensual intercourse occurred then there would be no need to check for DNA etc; I'm guessing though that the seizure took place at the time of arrest i.e. before you were able to give your version of events)

Console yourself that the police are working to a well-rehearsed script and there is nothing personal in it.

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...spector+Gadget