Lied about age

[Whatthe]

Im having an absolute melt down here and am unsure just whats happened or what to do.

I am in my 20s I had spoken to a girl on snapchat who told me she was 17 I had no reason not to believe her she looked very mature. We were seeing each other for a couple of weeks, it just fizzled out that was that.

Roll on 2-3 months and I have just received a message from an unknown girl on social media telling me "she knows i have been seeing said girl above and that this girl is 15 and unless I do as she says will be ringing the police"

I haven't responded as no doubt this is blackmail. Assuming if this girl is telling the truth where on earth do I stand now if she rings the police? I had absolutely no way of knowing she was this age and to add insult to injury it looks like I am being blackmailed as well.

I dont have any any conversations saved with this girl telling me her age as one it was on snapchat and 2 I have had a new phone since then also.

Can anyone please offer me some advise on what I should do now I just dont know what to think (

[soulbug]

Welcome to the forum, I have read In the past of a number of cases where the defendant was found not guilty due to the belief of the age of a minor been / looking over 16.

The things that will stand in your favour will be your messages on your phone / chat app, also a screen shot of the persons profile and images used.

Backup all your messages, take screenshot of the persons dating profile and any pictures you have, check their Facebook profile too for signs of adult type activity, going out at a weekend, going to pubs, clubs etc as all these things will add to why you believed what the person told you was the truth about her age.

But if any messages between you two, show that her true age was revealed to you at any point during your time together , then that is a whole different situation you will find yourself in.

[Casehardened]

I am in my 20s I had spoken to a girl *A* on snapchat who told me she was 17 I had no reason not to believe her she looked very mature. We were seeing each other for a couple of weeks, it just fizzled out that was that.

Roll on 2-3 months and I have just received a message from an unknown girl *B* on social media telling me "she knows i have been seeing said girl above and that this girl is 15 and unless I do as she says will be ringing the police"

I haven't responded as no doubt this is blackmail. Assuming if this girl *B* is telling the truth where on earth do I stand now if she rings the police? I had absolutely no way of knowing she was this age and to add insult to injury it looks like I am being blackmailed as well.

I dont have any any conversations saved with this girl *A* telling me her age as one it was on snapchat and 2 I have had a new phone since then also.

Can anyone please offer me some advise on what I should do now I just dont know what to think (

Hi and welcome to the forum (with the usual caveat of sorry that you had to find us!)

As you have indeed landed up here I'm assuming that 'seeing each other' involved some sexual activity though obviously if it didn't you haven't too much to worry about.

My cynical side wonders if girls A & B are in fact the same person and are upset that the relationship fizzled out; in this case the concern is that they, unlike yourself, will have saved some sort of evidence.

In either case, I agree that the best course of action is to do nothing at the moment, in particular do not be tempted to contact the police yourself with your side of the story (as they will then simply open an investigation on the assumption that the allegation is true)

In the meantime calm your fears by doing some research; have a look through the information on this forum, jot down as much as you can remember about this encounter, and google 'young man's defence' (I don't believe this applies any more but it will highlight the difference in the view of the law where the complainant is over 13)

[soulbug]

I had a quick Google, some helpful information

https://www.google.co.uk/search?clie...lkmB52%2BqM%3D

[Whatthe]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, much appreciated.

There was absolutely no way I knew or was told of her potential real age before hand.

Ive done some digging and cannot find anything which could suggest she is younger, her social media suggests older. Which also makes me think perhaps unknown girl B is making it up. That is also what I am telling myself to cope mentally.

As said perhaps girl B is actually girl A or a friend, its suspicious as I cannot find much information as to who girl B actually is.

It all sounds a bit iffy, will take the advice and just do nothing and hope this is nothing but a pack of lies.

[Franticwithworry]

Screenshot what you have found on social media to show your solicitor but not, without his/her approval, the police. Be sure not to comment on her page and I agree, it is beginning to look as though Girl A and B are one and the same. It all may fizzle out as she gets bored with not getting a reaction, but be prepared anyway. Being over-prepared or unnecessarily-prepared is better than being under-prepared.

The key issue, as I understand it is what you reasonably believed. It's a long wait, often, until these things get resolved and way more of these cases are seen for what they are than come anywhere near going to charge or trial. Try not to panic, carry on with life as best you can and play the waiting game. There is support here for any wobbly moments that you may have - and there may be some, given how stressful this all is. Hang in there.

[Peter1975]

Welcome to DM WT...

I can't add much to the excellent advice you've been given already but I'll repeat some of it.

Gather all of the evidence, screenshots whatever that you can and keep it to yourself for now.

Try not to worry too much too soon!... You don't know what might happen ,if indeed anything at all. Most of these cases go nowhere but you will be prepared for whatever.

I believe the law has to prove that you did not have a reasonable belief in consent and/or that you did not have a reasonable belief she was older than 16.

Your defence, should you need it, would be I imagine some evidence that she looked older and never told you otherwise. Messages of her lying about her age would most obviously be very helpful.

If this was a longer relationship however it would become less plausible that you were deceived about her age over time.

hang in there

[slowdown73]

I would message this female who asserts she knows you were seeing someone who was 15 and tell her this is not the case and that you have screenshots of the female saying she was 17 saved to your mobile and ask her not to contact you again or you will go to the Police and report her for harassment. It sounds like someone is trying to blackmail you and I’m sure the Police would be able to recover any previous conversations through snapchat.