Falsely accused

[Chrisb]

Thanks

Im so grateful that the site exsists. Its so good that there is people behind you that understand and believe in you. Some of the experiences and feelings are very similar if not the same as mine. I do feel alot of positiveness coming from here. Some of the cases are so very sad and I cant believe so many people have to got through this pain. It seems so easy to convict someone for a crime they didnt committ.

[Rights Fighter]

I heard a saying a few years ago on the subject of how easy it is to convicted:

A day to convict - a lifetime to quash.

Ain't the the truth! The trouble is, many people don't get to quash unsafe convictions. At my meeting with a barrister in London a couple of weeks ago she told me she has a black client sitting in prison for murder. Every single witness said the perpetrator is while.

A well publicised case - been on TV Rough Justice and other programmes, Ray Gilbert, has spent over 25 years in prison for a murder he did not commit. He's going through parole procedures at the moment (he's served 12 years passed his tariff as he will not admit guilt) and the victim's dad has offered him his own home to live in - he doesn't believe Ray is guilty either.

He's appealed and failed, CCRC'd it and failed, and he's back to new arguments with the CCRC. I've been writing to him for nearly 6 years. Jenny the Wonder Dog used to sign my letters to him! Now he gets a red teddy bear stamp on the envelope! I'm hoping to get to see him in the near future - he has few visitors. Poor sod.

http://www.mojuk.org.uk/eddie/ray.html

[Chrisb]

Tidy up time!

Well im going to get my flat clean feel like I almost need to invite you all round after to show you my new found carpet.

Saffron, giving up the ciggies is proving somewhat difficult, one step at a time. I only smoke with a drink though, which probably is most evenings. Im probably drinking a little too much but doctors wanted me to take Valium and sleeping tablets but I am kind of against the idea.

I am lucky in many ways with my case so far, but I do have a sense of doom about it all. It seems too many innocent people are sent to Prison. Alot of the time it seems to boil down to one persons word against another.

[Saffron]

Hey Chris

blimey, don't try and give up the fags now! you'll never succeed! (R and i are booked in for hynotherapy, I'll let you know whether it works....)

I was also precribed sleeping pills, and R was given temazepam. Neither of us liked it though - preferred a few glasses of vino and some cigs!

RF, I am familiar with the case of Ray Gilbert, having read about him on the Mojuk site. I don't tend to visit mojuk very often - i find it too alarming. I really hope that one day i am called to do jury service. Our barrister reckoned R was convicted by a "Friday afternoon" jury....wanted to get out of court and into the pub, so didn;t really think about it. then again, our barrister was appalling, so he was probably just making excuses.

ChrisB, good luck with your exercise/laundry plan for the weekend! trust me, you will feel so good when you have done it all!

BTW, my boss is on Masterchef this evening: Keith, a big bald bloke, you can't miss him!

ooh, and i have just realised what I said about giving up fags...sorry, no offence intended!

[Chrisb]

Fags/Cigs

Saffron, you did make me laugh! Whilst one can give up cigs, I would never want give up the fags! (being one myself.)

Even the boyf is going to help with the cleaning, bless him!

Thanks for all the replies you lovely lot.

Chris
x

[Rights Fighter]

Well I can't drink at the mo as I am on antibiotics so my brain will have a bit of a rest (from booze anyway not the work!)

At the end of the Judge's Summing Up, in a case where it is one person's word against another:

Well ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You have heard the evidence - there is no more. In this case the evidence boils down to this - the word of the complainant against the word of the defendant. It is up to you to decide who you believe - who is the more credible witness.

"They" say that it is up to the Crown to prove guilt and it is not up to the defendant to explain why the false allegations have been made. Except of course we know that is not true.

You need to keep your ears to the ground. Has she done this before? What is she telling people now? Will material witnesses - people who could assist the matter (rather than character witnesses) give evidence? Hearsay evidence is now admitted in the court on certain conditions. That usually works against a defendant but that doesn't stop the defendant making use of the rule himself.

You could be waiting many months before you are told whether the matter will progress or dropped. I know it's easy for me to say, but try to carry on "as normal". If you want somewhere to clean my flat is in dire need...........

[Lamont]

Interacting with others

Another dilemma one faces in this situation is how to interact with others, at least those who aren't close friends.

In the case of casual friends and acquaintances who didn't know of the situation, I found it tough to make casual small talk/chit chat. I simply didn't have the mental or emotional energy to be social. Also, this issue had so consumed my recent life that I really had nothing else to talk about.

Then there are the people whom you suspect might know, and in whose eyes your reputation might be tarnished. My case was interesting because, for me, these were work colleagues who were essentially 'ordered' to be nice to me in the wake of my being cleared by a workplace and police investigation.

So far, people 'appear' to be nice enough, including those whom I suspect know. Still, I'm never certain whether they're merely tolerating me because they've been forced to OR whether I'm being given the benefit of the doubt.

With the help of a psychologist, I've come to realize that I can't concern myself with what might be happening in people's heads. His advice was to be as friendly and charming as I can to everyone; in other words, present a persona where people couldn't imagine that I would ever do such a thing. Make small talk with people, take an interest in their lives, etc. Pretend as though nothing is wrong and you're in full control of your life.

This seems a little awkward and forced at first, but if you can force yourself to do it, it becomes easier and I'm finding that it may be working. You're all acquainted with former US president Bill Clinton. He's notorious for getting himself into sex-related trouble and this is exactly the approach he takes.... goes on as though everything is normal and people will like him no matter what.

[Saffron]

Hi Lamont, I am so glad you have continued to post here.

You are right that it is very difficult to interact with others who either definitely know nothing, or whom you suspect may "have an inkling". R and Itended to avoid situations where we would be faced with having to explain why he wasn't working. and while he was in prison I found myself making up all sorts of fibs about where he was...usually he was "working" and occasionally he was "in Madrid" !!! The hardest part was when concerned neighbours either put notes through my door asking whether everything was OK, because they had noticed R hadn't been around for a while, and that his car had gone (SOLD!) or asked me outright in front of our son where he was. I just lied, and hoped they hadn't read the local rag. a few people whispered behind their hands, but my son and I ignored them.

It was initially tough when he came home, but we were lucky in that he had been granted Home Leave for 3 days halfway through his sentence. All i can say is that it doe sget easier.

[RFLH]

we moved for the second time just before his trial (which he missed owing to not being told the right date!) so he 'vanished' just a few weeks afterwards. Most of the people in the street worked all day and I couldn't have picked my next door neighbours put of a lineup.

I'm sure there must have been tongues wagging when he finally came home - along the lines of, how's that old boot got a young man?! And then we moved again a few months later.

I guess we were 'lucky' in as much as the week after his arrest we were supposed to have gone on holiday for a fortnight during which time we made our minds up to move away and the day he went back in to work to tell them he was resigning there was a letter on his desk telling he he was being made redundant! That helped the coffers!

We had no close friends - being an 'odd' couple - so that was no problem and again we were lucky as there was no reporting on the case. I have a lot of elderly friends abroad and each of them has been kindness itself when I told them what had happened - it was my family and children who turned against us.

You do get through it - you'll find strengths you didn't know you possessed and if people decide to judge you without knowing the facts, then they're not worth losing sleep over.

I think we've come out of it all stronger and also now living a life we'd talked of wanting or years but would never have achieved if it hadn't have happened. More importantly we're happy and that's the best type of revenge.

[Rights Fighter]

I remember coming over to see you when your hubby was called by the solicitor telling him the trial was that very day! I hadn't got your new address (as it was then) and it was only when I rang you back to confirm you told me you'd moved - yet again!!!!! That was a race and a half!!!! You'll have to stop doing that!!!!

[RFLH]

I'm going nowhere - we'll fight them on the beaches etc ......

[Lamont]

Hey Saf.... of course I'll continue to post. Very few can truly empathize with what we've all been through, so we definitely need to stick together and help each other to cope.

After reading what you've been through you definitely have my admiration. Your hubby is damn lucky to have someone stick by him as you have!

[Lamont]

.... if people decide to judge you without knowing the facts, then they're not worth losing sleep over.

Well put!!! Worrying about what others think can drive you bonkers, so it's important to keep this in mind.

[Chrisb]

Thoughts

I agree that we cant control other peoples thoughts and some times I dont actually care what they think then other times Im quite worried. In my job I meet people all the time and I always get on particulary well with women (having 4 sisters teaches you to!) I still dont know how I should be behaving, should I keep away from women? should I carry on as I would have done before my arrest? What will happen to me if it all gets out? Should I move? So many questions.
I always find sundays and mondays my most feared days, sunday the dread starts with the begining of a new week, monday the week has begun, whats it going to bring this week? Whats going to happen?

[RFLH]

stop thinking - that way madness lies! Easier said than done I know, but try on concentrate on the things that you can control. You're wasting your energy on things that may not happen.

Be the same with the people you deal with if you can, just be aware of what's going on around you and keep a weather eye out, keep a diary of what you do and who you deal with, along with times - it may prove useful.

We did what we thought was best by moving, mainly to protect our daughter - but that bought its own set of problems. Answering bail entailed a 300 mile round trip and so did the prison visiting! But I was anonymous where we moved to and I did feel safer until the 'trial' - we moved again in case anyone heard his address and felt safe again for a while. We moved again when he came home and I refuse to go anywhere again!

I think what I've summed up in a roundabout way is that do what feels right for you. There's no set way to feel or deal with it - the guidelines are the same for all of us, you make your way through the minefield best as you can and always hope for the best!

Not much use really am I!!