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Unsure If I Did Something Wrong...
So my girlfriend and I broke up recently due to a sexual encounter gone disastrously wrong. I am currently having trouble knowing whether or not I actually sexually assaulted her, as the exact circumstances were quite iffy.
My girlfriend and I were using a wearable dildo toy, and in the first encounter she let me know that it was a lot to take and we needed to go much more slowly in future. The entire time I was asking her if she was enjoying herself and if everything was okay, to which she gave according feedback. This time was consensual.
The second time, we were having normal sex when I brought up the idea of using it again. She didn't seem too enthusiastic, but I explained to her that if we were going to get used to this toy, we should use it more often, and I promised I would go slowly.
When we used it the second time, I was continually asking her how she felt, and responding to her when she wanted me to go slowly. There were times when she stated that it was too much when I went too deep, and I obliged by pulling out, before taking a quick break before going back in.
In hindsight I should have seen that she wasnt enjoying it very much and stopped of my own accord, but I was constantly asking her if she was okay and at no point did she ever tell me that she wanted to stop or use our safeword. After the event we talked about how she really didn't enjoy the event, and how she felt pressured. I felt absolutely awful for making her feel this way, as a victim of sexual assault in my past as well, but I'm not sure what I could have done better? If I was constantly gauging her consent and asking if she was okay, did I really rape her?
Since then she has been telling her friends and acquaintances that I had raped her, ignored her when she told me to stop, and was an abuser. Thankfully many seem to not believe her (as she has a history of expanding the truth), but some powerful people in the communities we share do, and have begun to blacklist me from these community events. Should I accept that I raped her and pray that legal consequences don't happen, should I fight against this? Get a laywer? I have absolutely no idea what I should do.
My girlfriend and I were using a wearable dildo toy, and in the first encounter she let me know that it was a lot to take and we needed to go much more slowly in future. The entire time I was asking her if she was enjoying herself and if everything was okay, to which she gave according feedback. This time was consensual.
The second time, we were having normal sex when I brought up the idea of using it again. She didn't seem too enthusiastic, but I explained to her that if we were going to get used to this toy, we should use it more often, and I promised I would go slowly.
When we used it the second time, I was continually asking her how she felt, and responding to her when she wanted me to go slowly. There were times when she stated that it was too much when I went too deep, and I obliged by pulling out, before taking a quick break before going back in.
In hindsight I should have seen that she wasnt enjoying it very much and stopped of my own accord, but I was constantly asking her if she was okay and at no point did she ever tell me that she wanted to stop or use our safeword. After the event we talked about how she really didn't enjoy the event, and how she felt pressured. I felt absolutely awful for making her feel this way, as a victim of sexual assault in my past as well, but I'm not sure what I could have done better? If I was constantly gauging her consent and asking if she was okay, did I really rape her?
Since then she has been telling her friends and acquaintances that I had raped her, ignored her when she told me to stop, and was an abuser. Thankfully many seem to not believe her (as she has a history of expanding the truth), but some powerful people in the communities we share do, and have begun to blacklist me from these community events. Should I accept that I raped her and pray that legal consequences don't happen, should I fight against this? Get a laywer? I have absolutely no idea what I should do.