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Hi there. I hate that I've had to make this post but I'm glad there's a place to do it.
I've spent my whole life on the right side of the law, never been arrested, never been questioned, never even been stop'n'searched.
From the evening of Tuesday until the evening of yesterday I spent the night in a cell. This has honestly been the worst experience of my life.
Previously to this I had spent three days in personal hell because prior to a date with my FA, I received a text saying that she didn't want to have sex that evening. We ended up having (very consensual) sex later that night.
My mother and stepfather (A prison officer) and our 5 dogs were in the house at the time so we made an effort to be extra quiet.
I felt like I'd done something awful. I believed that since my FA had told me that she didn't want sex earlier in the day that I had technically raped her. Feel free to call me stupid but with today's modern culture trying to redefine rape I ended up convincing myself that though she consented at the time, I had committed a crime by having sex with her.
I told her as much after we had had sex and she told me that I'd done nothing wrong and that we were fine. I couldn't help feeling like a scumbag because I'd broken a promise that we would just kiss and cuddle that night.
Afterwards we went to our mutual friend's house from which she was picked up by her dad.
Later that night I sent her a message saying that I felt I had done something wrong to which she replied that I hadn't.
The following day she had a text conversation with our mutual friend saying that we had had sex even though we hadn't planned to, that she wasn't bothered and that I was overreacting.
During this time I continued to message FA telling her how awful I felt that we had had sex even though she'd previously stated that she didn't want to. That I felt that I'd done something really wrong and that it technically might be rape.
On Tuesday the FA then told a mutual friend that she had gone to the police and told them that I had raped her.
I then recounted events to this mutual friend who then said "[OP], that wasn't rape." I recounted events to my family and they also agreed that I had not raped her by having consensual sex with her after she's stated that she didn't want to earlier in the day.
My response to this (as suggested by my mother) was to travel to the police station and speak to the police regarding the allegation.
I was then placed under arrest and put in a cell for 20 hours until I was interviewed.
According to FA's statement I forced her to the floor, held her down and raped her while she was begging me to stop. After which she travelled alone to a friend's house to cry on her shoulder. (Not the mutual friend we actually went to visit)
Again I stress that we were in a house with a prison officer, my mother and 5 extremely jumpy and nervous dogs in the next room while we had sex. According to my mother and stepdad, they didn't hear a peep.
My whole life has been upended and I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm already being medicated for depression and I honestly do not want to live in this world right now.
What do you guys think is the likelihood of me being charged considering the evidence, the inconsistencies in her story and witness accounts versus my own feelings of guilt that I expressed in text messages with regards to breaking a promise not to try it on that night?
According to people who know FA, she's the kind of girl that makes up lies in order to get attention and that she started seeing another guy the day after we had sex.
I'm aware that I've likely brought this all on myself by having an overactive conscience and believing I'd committed a crime when I in fact hadn't. If I hadn't given a sh*t about FA's feelings and played it cool, she likely wouldn't have done this.
I've spent my whole life on the right side of the law, never been arrested, never been questioned, never even been stop'n'searched.
From the evening of Tuesday until the evening of yesterday I spent the night in a cell. This has honestly been the worst experience of my life.
Previously to this I had spent three days in personal hell because prior to a date with my FA, I received a text saying that she didn't want to have sex that evening. We ended up having (very consensual) sex later that night.
My mother and stepfather (A prison officer) and our 5 dogs were in the house at the time so we made an effort to be extra quiet.
I felt like I'd done something awful. I believed that since my FA had told me that she didn't want sex earlier in the day that I had technically raped her. Feel free to call me stupid but with today's modern culture trying to redefine rape I ended up convincing myself that though she consented at the time, I had committed a crime by having sex with her.
I told her as much after we had had sex and she told me that I'd done nothing wrong and that we were fine. I couldn't help feeling like a scumbag because I'd broken a promise that we would just kiss and cuddle that night.
Afterwards we went to our mutual friend's house from which she was picked up by her dad.
Later that night I sent her a message saying that I felt I had done something wrong to which she replied that I hadn't.
The following day she had a text conversation with our mutual friend saying that we had had sex even though we hadn't planned to, that she wasn't bothered and that I was overreacting.
During this time I continued to message FA telling her how awful I felt that we had had sex even though she'd previously stated that she didn't want to. That I felt that I'd done something really wrong and that it technically might be rape.
On Tuesday the FA then told a mutual friend that she had gone to the police and told them that I had raped her.
I then recounted events to this mutual friend who then said "[OP], that wasn't rape." I recounted events to my family and they also agreed that I had not raped her by having consensual sex with her after she's stated that she didn't want to earlier in the day.
My response to this (as suggested by my mother) was to travel to the police station and speak to the police regarding the allegation.
I was then placed under arrest and put in a cell for 20 hours until I was interviewed.
According to FA's statement I forced her to the floor, held her down and raped her while she was begging me to stop. After which she travelled alone to a friend's house to cry on her shoulder. (Not the mutual friend we actually went to visit)
Again I stress that we were in a house with a prison officer, my mother and 5 extremely jumpy and nervous dogs in the next room while we had sex. According to my mother and stepdad, they didn't hear a peep.
My whole life has been upended and I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm already being medicated for depression and I honestly do not want to live in this world right now.
What do you guys think is the likelihood of me being charged considering the evidence, the inconsistencies in her story and witness accounts versus my own feelings of guilt that I expressed in text messages with regards to breaking a promise not to try it on that night?
According to people who know FA, she's the kind of girl that makes up lies in order to get attention and that she started seeing another guy the day after we had sex.
I'm aware that I've likely brought this all on myself by having an overactive conscience and believing I'd committed a crime when I in fact hadn't. If I hadn't given a sh*t about FA's feelings and played it cool, she likely wouldn't have done this.
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