Young and very nervous and confused

[LOGANDNA1998]

Hey guys I'm 19, back 3 months ago I was false accused of rape after having a girl over for the afternoon. The story goes she was meant to stay the night so we chilled out, I had half a beer and she had drink, we followed having intercourse 3 times through the afternoon and then my friend asked me later in the evening to come out with them, she didn't want to come out so I asked her to leave. The next day I get picked up by the police saying her mum called them at 12:30 am and I was accused of raping her 3 times that day and that she was heavily intoxicated and couldn't make decisions. I gave my statement with my solicitor who said that I gave a very solid description of everything that happened in detail and that I should be okay as this happens alot, but still. The whole thing has solidly shaken me up and I've heard horror stories of people getting falsely accused and convicted. This is so foreign to me as I've never been in trouble before and I know nothing of what goes on and what I can do. It just seems so unfair that this can happen to people. Any advice would be much appreciated

[Pond31]

Hi Logan

Your story is nothing new. It happens so often that a woman spurned takes revenge by saying she was raped. I shall leave the indepth advice to other members but I want to say that you have begun on a long journey, you will be frustrated, angry, depressed and confused. The best thing to do is to work for yourself by :-

1) Get yourself a specialised solicitor not just a good criminal one but someone who works with rape accussations
2) Keep a record of what happened. Write it down.
3) Keep all texts, FB messages and etc from your false accuser
4) Keep an eye on your FA's FB page to see if she says anything on it
5) DONT CONTACT YOUR FA AT ALL.
6) Seek support from you family and friends.
7) The police will treat you as guilty, as they have forgotten the principal of innocent until proven guilty, so DONT give them any evidence, they are NOT you friends.
8) Realise that it will take time to resolve. Some members on here (like myself) are still waiting 18 months later.
9) Keep active, keep hobbies up, keep your job up. Fill your day.

Come here and keep in contact with the members, as we can give advice and support.

I am sure other more sensible members shall give you more advice.

Pond31

[slowdown73]

An unpleasant situation to be in particularly as you are very young. From now, it’s a bit of a waiting game so it’s important you’ve got plenty of people who can support you through it like family and friends. Your solicitors comments sound promising but it’s important you keep yourself busy and occupied and try not to dwell on your situation too much as worrying won’t help although I know that’s easier said than done. You will find a lot of good support on here!

[Franticwithworry]

Hi Logan,

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. It's a tough thing for a man to deal with, especially one so young. Pond's advice is excellent, and there's not a lot to add other than surf this site as there's lots of useful information and experience to draw on (but don't overdo it as you can drive yourself nuts :-))and be sure to post here if you have questions or need support. There's usually someone about fairly soon who will respond to you.

It can be a long waiting game for a decision as the powers-that-be are so over-stretched, but yours seems a fairly straightforward situation that is unfortunately all too common. Don't be complacent about it but don't be despondent either. the vast majority of these false accusations go no-where so the odds are on your side. Wrongful convictions are the exception rather than the rule. I have my fingers crossed for a speedy decision for you.

[0990]

hi logan ,
welcome to the site i'm sorry its needed , just want to agree with the earlier posts , come on here as often as you need too other members with give all the advice they can to help, even if you have to complain and rant we have all been there .

[Aidy]

Sorry you have ended up in this situation pal, but you have certainly come to the right place for good advice!
It’s only natural that you will feel scared and a little anxious!
Try and remain positive, but just be mindful that this could get ugly!
Keep posting if anything changes and listen to people on here, and never ever trust the police (under any circumstances!!!) (I cannot stress that enough!)
Goes without saying that a good solicitor who knows such cases is so important!!

Best of luck

[Teh_Jawshy]

Same situation!

Hey, I'm going through the EXACT same thing right now, I'm also 19 and my drama only happened a month ago with the investigation still on-going.
If you need someone to chat to who actually understands, I'm game. I've come to understand how difficult it is talking about it with friends who haven't gone through anything similar and you're left feeling alone.

[Peter1975]

Apologies for the late reply to your post Logan,

I think Pond pretty much covered everything in his wise post.

At the investigation stage there is plenty of hope as over 80% of cases will go no further than this but sadly investigations can often take a painfully long time so it's important to keep up your routine and spend some time with people you trust. Torturing yourself with what if's can only increase anxiety and stress which will do you no good.

The odds being in your favour is no reason to be complacent though and writing everything down just in case and gathering your own evidence wherever possible is always wise as is having a good solicitor in your corner.

Have a look at CH's excellent what happens now thread if you haven't already:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

If you feel down or depressed, which is only natural, then do something about it and visit your GP.

Someone will always be on DM to listen if you need to get things off your chest

FASO provide an excellent phone and email support service. Their lines are open during weekday evenings:

http://www.false-allegations.org.uk/

The samaritans are always available to listen too.

You are never alone.

[Bob1234]

some solid advice so far here, and as always sorry to read about your situation.

As pond says don't trust the police and if you can read through all the content on this site

Bob