falsely accused (no surprise there!)

[lemming]

yeah, point taken!

as i said - very close to deleting it, suppose i could have gone over it and selected better turns of phrase... can't actually think of one... best to leave it before i get myself in trouble!

thanks for being ..doom and gloom merchants.. really, it's better that i'm hit round the head with it as often as possible - i'm big enough to take it, and if it's likely to happen then at least i'll be ready.

[RFLH]

we don't mean to be, we're just being honest - if you think that justice will prevail, don't hold your breath - and speaking from personal experience, life is good on the other side of it all! It's just different to what it was.

There are pitfalls that we come across, but nothing is unsurmountable. Humour really has got us through. We've lost a hell of a lot, but gained other things and learnt a lot about ourselves and others along the way.

[utterlydestroyed]

Thank you Lemming

I've just realised that what you said is exactly what I did the minute 'filth' knocked on the door..."I began to prepare for war...and hoped for peace". and I did it without realising. (I guess being gay and knowing how the police are historically prejudicial & less than honest in their dealings with gay people I had a far better understanding from the off, not to trust the police on ANYTHING...and it held me in good stead!)

Once released after 16hours detention & interrorgation;I 'metaphorically' strapped down and secured all the available evidence (the police ignored) and defence statements from four witnesses, and told the 'filth' nothing. I know better than trust the police, and this is ingrained upon me with every single further encounter.

Must say I am surprised you don't have a brief yet?...but RF will know more on that score.

I may be the pink presence (waves rainbow flag), but I'm here for 'falsely accused' regardless of sexuality, I'm here for the brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, partners, wives, boy/girlfriends, of the "falsely accussed", because it grindingly 'affects' them too!...and I'm here for ME, cos I'm still bloody teasy!

Regarding RFLH comment, "not knowing anyone who the charges were dropped", I read a stat somewhere that once charged 70% cases go to court. I was never charged, it was NFA'd, but as Lemming said, the damadge was done! Now I learn the following year that my false accuser is merrily posting on a website that they went to court and I was subsequently "sent down" for it...that further lie makes my blood boil further still...and the corrupt police do not want to know!

You are now a 'product' from which a lot of people will make potentially money! The solicitors, barristers, the media, your accuser in compensation, even plod in reaching targets. NOT YOU! Merely flotsum on the Tsunami of the judicial system, you can go with the flow, or evolve legs and paddle!

The fact that you are here indicates to me you are paddling!

Well a few of us will swim along side!



UD

[Saffron]

I think being charged and tried is largely a postcode lottery. I know 2 policemen who work as local officers in a sleepy village up north. they both expressed astonishment that my husband was charged.

Having read the accuser's statement, I know that at no time was she pressed to clarify anything during her interview. her opening statement was "i woke in the middle of the night to find a colleague having sex with me, to which i had not consented." Pretty clear, wouldn't you say? However, when she later changed her mind and decided she hadn't been raped at all, she was not asked why she had made such an abrupt about-face. Apparently she had been "confused". There were no forensics, the sole evidence of the prosecution was her word.

However, I know that some genuine rape survivors have had their case dropped for lack of evidence. how does this work? Craziness.

[Unregistered]

Falsely accused

I have been falsely accused of rape and was arrested last year on the 13th June. The Police have just informed me today that they have now completed the investigation (4th February 2008)

I dont want to go into the case too much, except that Im an openly Gay male, been in my relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years and Im accussed of raping a FEMALE.

I sypathise with anyone that has been raped or abused in anyway as I myself was sexually assulted by my teacher when I was younger and Im not using the excuse that i was abused or that Im Gay as my defence, mainly that Im a decent person who wouldnt put anyone through rape.

As those who have been through the allegation and my background aside, the emotions that I have been through during this time have been devasting.
I have been trying to the best that I can throughout this time and trying to stay focused, however most of the time its very very difficult. Panic attacks, anxiety, being sick, feeling like committing suicide, nervous around women, paranoia and thats only part of it.

Ive been in councilling for the last 6 months and this is something I would never have to do as I have always been quite a tough cookie and been able to get over things, however this smacked me round the face with the power of Mike Tyson. Councilling really helps, I would reccommend it the strongest of people.

I am told now that it should be another 4 - 5 weeks for the CPS to make their decision on the case and I will know then whether or not that they will take me to court or not.

For those who have been falsely accused, its torture, its hard and its not fair. I wish you all the best of luck in your false allegation and I hope that Im proven to be innocent or that my case is thrown out by the CPS.

[lemming]

thanks for the welcome to the pafaa forum, RF! there's a LOT of info to digest on that site so sorry for not posting yet...

okay, my solicitor spoke to the OIC today, and was told that overall the issue was just consent (as opposed to plying her with drink then drugging her etc), which is nice. she was also told that the results of the investigation had been passed over to the CPS, and the OIC would contact me direct, hopefully within the week, to let me know the decision.

by the way, even my solicitor is telling me NOT TO WORRY which IS STARTING TO GET ON MY T*TS. she said that hopefully the answer will be no further action. oh, what makes you say that? um... waffle waffle ignore the question...

just figured i'd update you guys.

i'd like to analyse the length of the investigation (less than 8 weeks) and the predicted time for the CPS to make a decision (less than one week!). but i know that way madness lies. and that the decision might take much longer. and that the time doesn't have much bearing on the case, and anyone can infer whatever they like from his: efficiency of CPS, simplicity of decision either way etc etc.

but i can't help it! i'm going mental (i don't show it...)! quick question,if they ARE going to charge - what's likely to happen? will i just turn up at the end of my bail to face charges i've been prewarned about, or will the plod knock on my door unexpectedly to kindly offer me a lift, or what? is this usual that they say they won't make me wait longer than necessary?

least i'll know soon enough...

[Saffron]

Hi Lemming

not sure how the police would proceed with you if charges are preferred. In R's case he answered bail and was charged then, about 4 weeks after the decision to charge had been made apparently.

Your accuser initially stated that she thought she had been drugged, didn't she? if the issue is now one of consent, then there has clearly not been evidence of drugs. I also remember her saying that you had told her "tell me if you want me to stop" or something similar, although you told the police you hadn't said that. and that she was supposed to be unconscious while sex was taking place. Her story sounds absolutely full of holes to me. Let's hope the CPS show some common sense.

I know the waiting is incredibly difficult. I can't offer you any further advice other than to try and make the most of the next week or so. maybe take some time off and go to museums, the zoo, the theatre or cinema (but not to see Atonement!). Try to fill your days. the busier you are, the less time you will have to dwell on it.

Let us know how you get on!

[Chrisb]

Filling the time

Trying to fill the time is difficult, I too try to keep myself busy (except the house work, saffron has given me some inspiration to get it done!) The first week or so I couldnt really go out much, then when i did go out I got very emotional as I thought this would be the last time I could do this or that. I still get emotional now and then, but not so often. I also feel terribly lonely sometimes and I worry when i meet new people what they would think of me if they knew what i was wrongly accussed of.
Sometimes I turn into a nervous wreck and I may be on my way to a meeting and I get the "sense of dread", as I call it.
I pray that the CPS will throw it out, courts are horrible places to be in.

[Saffron]

well, like i have said elsewhere, your life will never be the same. How it changes is down to you.

for a long time after he came home from prison R was utterly paranoid. He wouldn't allow himself to be left alone with a woman in case something similar happened. he would insist on picking up his cigarette butts (sorry, Chrisb NOT fag butts!!!) and taking them home with us, just in case they were inadvertently found at the scene of a crime with his DNA on them. He couldn't talk to anyone who didn;t know what had happened, and he complained that our telly was too big (it was the same size as it had always been, he had just become accustomed to the titchy one in prison!). He has got better recently, and will now happily pick our son up from a friend's house, although he refuses to go in for a cuppa.

I know what you mean about the "sense of dread". we used to call it "The Fear" or "The Undertow". I still get it occasionally now, but nowhere near as chest-crushingly horrendous as i used to. All i can tell you is that it does go. even if the worst happens, as it did for us, it will pass.

and please try not to worry what other people think. I know it sounds like a platitude, but those who matter will understand, and those who don't understand don't matter.

keep strong! Both ChrisB and Lemming, you are doing incredibly well! I am sending you Big Hugs and lots of positive thoughts.

[RFLH]

and what's worse, when they've been home for a bit, you put on all the weight you lost when they were 'on holiday'!

I still get the feeling of dread - usually when its time to I clear up after the dog, cat or chickens.....

[Saffron]

he he! yes, back to my "old" weight now....no Size Zero for me!
and the cats dom keep me busy with daily "offerings" usually discovered by my toddler, who thinks they are marvellous fluffy toys!

[lemming]

the three most beautiful words in the english language...

NO

FURTHER

ACTION

...and they were said to me about 20 minutes ago!!!!

i'm making myself late for work writing this but my boss understands! don't know any details as to why they didn't want to proceed and quite frankly don't give a sh*t right now. the OIC said she'd contact me direct and soon as she knew - and she did. she says that i should be able to collect my property next week - and i have no reason to disbelieve her. throughout she's been been professional, as have all the police. so hopefully my story can serve as a reminder that sometimes (sometimes) common sense prevails and things work out alright!

the main thought that went through my head was that i don't have to tell my parents - bizarre!

thank you so much for all your support and advice, it's been such a lifeline for me, and it's hard to describe how important this forum is. good luck to everyone else who's going through this horrible situation now - you get to be part of an elite group, that's sadly growing all the time.

i'm going now to finish off rebuilding my life. without this cr*p hanging over my head. thanks, and speak soon! (i'll still read this site, but won't post unless i have something to say. but i'll be here, trust)

[RFLH]

CONGRATULATIONS LEMMING !!!!!!

That is the most brilliant news and good that it has spared your parents a lot of sleepless nights.

I am pleased for you!!

[Rights Fighter]

[utterlydestroyed]

RESULT!!!!

Hugz X

UD