okay, having spent a long time reading this site as well as googling the web, i have to confess to being incredibly worried about my future...
i went out with a group of work colleagues and we all got pretty drunk. one girll was flirting with me all night, and at the end she refused all offers of lifts home and said i would walk her home (the other people rightly assumed this meant we were going to have sex). and we went back to mine and... had sex - drunken, fumbling sex but definitely consensual. She stayed until the morning, and was getting a lot of hassle on her mobile for not going home or picking up her son etc, but later called in sick for work. the next day i was arrested and questioned as she had alleged rape.
i was horrified and refused a solicitor (yeah, i get that it was stupid), based on the fact that i was only ever going to tell the truth. the truth turned out to be a lot of "i don't remember" or "im not sure", since my head was wrecked and my memory of the night was patchy in places. going against the grain, i can honestly say that the police were fantastic and treated me with dignity, or as much as possible when you're having your penis swabbed...
what worries me is that i've been rebailed as the police are STILL investigating (any uncollected CCTV would have disappeared from the system by now and witness statements can only be vague and tainted by the accusation); they've so far interviewed only one of the people who we were drinking with; they have no interest in speaking to me again to clarify any points that weren't clear, or anything that i might have remembered since the only interview i've had etc.
what REALLY worries me is that i've since discovered the girl who made the allegation (and i'd assumed she made the allegation because she was confused or unsure about the night) is really trying to stitch me up: she says she was ditched by her friends so had no choice but to go with me; i got her into my house by telling her i wanted to collect a jacket before walking her home; that we had a drink at mine (we didn't) and she passed out (she thinks i roofy-cocktailed her, and explains why the previous statement was invented) and therefore doesn't remember anything that happened. this achieves another, more convincing goal: she does not have to take ANY responsibility for the events of the night. so any questions asked by her family (we're sick of you staying out all night, we're fed up of you leaving your son with us) or her at-the-time boyfriend, are covered. and any attention and sympathy defaults to her.
the only good thing about her lies is this laid to rest any lingering doubt about my innocence by everyone in the town, and a lot of people made the effort to knock on my door and tell me that. believe me, that meant a lot. sadly, it's not a popularity contest...
so if the police aren't interested in collecting evidence that might defend me, to meet government conviction targets; if she says she was too drunk/drugged to give consent; if the fact that some people have called her a liar etc (nothing to do with me, before they'd even made contact with me) and that could be construed as intimidation, and whatever else is going on that i don't know about... am i screwed???
also, the police asked if i remembered saying to her "if you want me to stop, i'll stop" (later i found out that apparently she replied either "you might as well carry on" or "would it make a difference if i said no?", depending on who you speak to). i said no, because i never said that - but i was very tempted for a split-second to say yes because it sounds like i was being mindful of the issue of consent. that would have been a stupid thing to do, right? right??
if anyone has any comments or advice on my situation it would be much appreciated. fortunately the length of time, the unselfish support of others and the fact i feel like i have something to fight now have all helped sort out my head. though i can't guarantee i won't vomit and faint if they charge me...
i went out with a group of work colleagues and we all got pretty drunk. one girll was flirting with me all night, and at the end she refused all offers of lifts home and said i would walk her home (the other people rightly assumed this meant we were going to have sex). and we went back to mine and... had sex - drunken, fumbling sex but definitely consensual. She stayed until the morning, and was getting a lot of hassle on her mobile for not going home or picking up her son etc, but later called in sick for work. the next day i was arrested and questioned as she had alleged rape.
i was horrified and refused a solicitor (yeah, i get that it was stupid), based on the fact that i was only ever going to tell the truth. the truth turned out to be a lot of "i don't remember" or "im not sure", since my head was wrecked and my memory of the night was patchy in places. going against the grain, i can honestly say that the police were fantastic and treated me with dignity, or as much as possible when you're having your penis swabbed...
what worries me is that i've been rebailed as the police are STILL investigating (any uncollected CCTV would have disappeared from the system by now and witness statements can only be vague and tainted by the accusation); they've so far interviewed only one of the people who we were drinking with; they have no interest in speaking to me again to clarify any points that weren't clear, or anything that i might have remembered since the only interview i've had etc.
what REALLY worries me is that i've since discovered the girl who made the allegation (and i'd assumed she made the allegation because she was confused or unsure about the night) is really trying to stitch me up: she says she was ditched by her friends so had no choice but to go with me; i got her into my house by telling her i wanted to collect a jacket before walking her home; that we had a drink at mine (we didn't) and she passed out (she thinks i roofy-cocktailed her, and explains why the previous statement was invented) and therefore doesn't remember anything that happened. this achieves another, more convincing goal: she does not have to take ANY responsibility for the events of the night. so any questions asked by her family (we're sick of you staying out all night, we're fed up of you leaving your son with us) or her at-the-time boyfriend, are covered. and any attention and sympathy defaults to her.
the only good thing about her lies is this laid to rest any lingering doubt about my innocence by everyone in the town, and a lot of people made the effort to knock on my door and tell me that. believe me, that meant a lot. sadly, it's not a popularity contest...
so if the police aren't interested in collecting evidence that might defend me, to meet government conviction targets; if she says she was too drunk/drugged to give consent; if the fact that some people have called her a liar etc (nothing to do with me, before they'd even made contact with me) and that could be construed as intimidation, and whatever else is going on that i don't know about... am i screwed???
also, the police asked if i remembered saying to her "if you want me to stop, i'll stop" (later i found out that apparently she replied either "you might as well carry on" or "would it make a difference if i said no?", depending on who you speak to). i said no, because i never said that - but i was very tempted for a split-second to say yes because it sounds like i was being mindful of the issue of consent. that would have been a stupid thing to do, right? right??
if anyone has any comments or advice on my situation it would be much appreciated. fortunately the length of time, the unselfish support of others and the fact i feel like i have something to fight now have all helped sort out my head. though i can't guarantee i won't vomit and faint if they charge me...
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