sorry saffron, it seems i always disagree with what you are saying! not intentional at all.
i just wanted to say something in response to snoopy's comment about rape victims feeling like they are on trial and your response that about that not being the case.
that is not my experience at all. when i was in court i felt like i was on trial. it was suggested that i was "horny" at the time i was raped (not a word i would use and not appropriate for court) and that that some how meant i was lying. there was no evidence to say that was how i was feeling and i felt the whole way through the trial his barrister was trying to humiliate me by "suggesting" things. he also had a really nasty tone and was completely insensitive. i have trouble saying the names of parts of the body cos i associate bad memories with them but he kept insisting i say them, even though it was obvious what was meant since i had said it before (eg when i said inside my pants and inside me he felt it necessary to try make me say the place even though i had said it before and he was just rehashing what i said)
he also used my transcript from my video interview and took words out of place to change their meaning
eg i said "he tried to make me perform oral sex but i said i didnt want to and pushed my head up and then...um..i was like...ok" but he didnt read what was my next words "to stay there with him cos i though he understood" which obviously changes the meaning completely but since i didnt have a copy of the transcript i couldnt correct him.
it was also suggetsed i enjoyed it and had an orgasm (it seemed like they were saying my injuries were fun for me when actually my back took over 2 months to heal)
my mental health was brought up and it was suggested i was delusional (they had no evidence from a doctor, they just read out the dsm iv definition of my condition which includes all possible symptoms, of which not all are necessary for a diagnosis) and neglected to acknowledge i went into hospital AFTER the rape as a response to it.
so yes, i felt like i was on trial and now not only have nightmares about the rape but also the trial.
and the guy who did it? he's free (on bail again) whereas i have had to leave my home which i am still paying rent on because i am terrified.
i definetely feel i got the unfair deal. even if i got compensation it would be reduced by a hell of a lot because i drunk alcohol and smoked 2 joints as well as cos my mental health problems were only made worse rather than caused by the rape. a few thousand pounds for a lifetime of fear, loss off virginity, the problems it causes for my relationship....i definitely got a heavy sentence whereas he walks away free. yup, the victim is definetely on trial.
i just wanted to say something in response to snoopy's comment about rape victims feeling like they are on trial and your response that about that not being the case.
that is not my experience at all. when i was in court i felt like i was on trial. it was suggested that i was "horny" at the time i was raped (not a word i would use and not appropriate for court) and that that some how meant i was lying. there was no evidence to say that was how i was feeling and i felt the whole way through the trial his barrister was trying to humiliate me by "suggesting" things. he also had a really nasty tone and was completely insensitive. i have trouble saying the names of parts of the body cos i associate bad memories with them but he kept insisting i say them, even though it was obvious what was meant since i had said it before (eg when i said inside my pants and inside me he felt it necessary to try make me say the place even though i had said it before and he was just rehashing what i said)
he also used my transcript from my video interview and took words out of place to change their meaning
eg i said "he tried to make me perform oral sex but i said i didnt want to and pushed my head up and then...um..i was like...ok" but he didnt read what was my next words "to stay there with him cos i though he understood" which obviously changes the meaning completely but since i didnt have a copy of the transcript i couldnt correct him.
it was also suggetsed i enjoyed it and had an orgasm (it seemed like they were saying my injuries were fun for me when actually my back took over 2 months to heal)
my mental health was brought up and it was suggested i was delusional (they had no evidence from a doctor, they just read out the dsm iv definition of my condition which includes all possible symptoms, of which not all are necessary for a diagnosis) and neglected to acknowledge i went into hospital AFTER the rape as a response to it.
so yes, i felt like i was on trial and now not only have nightmares about the rape but also the trial.
and the guy who did it? he's free (on bail again) whereas i have had to leave my home which i am still paying rent on because i am terrified.
i definetely feel i got the unfair deal. even if i got compensation it would be reduced by a hell of a lot because i drunk alcohol and smoked 2 joints as well as cos my mental health problems were only made worse rather than caused by the rape. a few thousand pounds for a lifetime of fear, loss off virginity, the problems it causes for my relationship....i definitely got a heavy sentence whereas he walks away free. yup, the victim is definetely on trial.
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