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  • #16
    ahhhh, the 'nutty' ones are the worst - the thinking of the powers that be, will then think that you've made her like that as she must have been alright before the alleged incident.

    I've given up trying to second guess their reasoning, to anyone sane there's nothing there, but by the time they've twisted and read things into meaningless phrases you're akin to Jack the Ripper.
    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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    • #17
      I wonder what her history with her husband was like? Possibly when it was over (despite who got the divorce) she behaved in a similar fashion.

      Do you know him BroA8?
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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      • #18
        Hi, I met him several times, he was as good as gold. I ,m sure there is nothing sinister in her past to which you suggest. She was simply a very mixed up lady who became obsessed with me and mine to the point of putting my kids before her own. She eventualy gave her then 6 year old daughter back to her ex who had moved away with his new wife. I should of been cruel to be kind, when i left the first time I shouldn't of looked back but the first suicide attempt rocked me and she went down hill from there. I remained there for her, a sort of safety net. The trouble started when eventualy she met someone else, i took that opportunity to put distance between us and after a month or so she parted with this new chap convinced i,d want her back! I didn't and thats when the harrassment started. She got back with this chap and still continued contacting me, i took out the Harrassment warning against her and the rest as they say, is history..
        It really is a case of her word against mine, she wasn't able to give any dates when the allegations took place and of cause, while this was supposed to have been going on she was sending me letters and texts. Not the actions of a victim of rape. I know this is her way of getting at me for reporting her, the ultimate betrayel as she put it. Giving up on "our freindship". While the case goes on she still has a connection with me, some sort of sick control...

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        • #19
          Do you have any evidence of her renewed contact with you - text messages, emails, letters for instance? Your telephone records will show that she will have rung you and with not you contacting her. As you say - not the behaviour of a rape victim.
          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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          • #20
            In answer to my critics.

            I was raised in a good home, by honest hard working parents and taught to respect the police. These days my own 75 yr old pensioner mother would not ask a police officer for the time, without getting a second opinion to ensure the copper was not lying!

            My experiences & observations (as a gay man) have subsequently taught me over many years that faith in police is a deeply, deeply misplaced.

            My experience is that in general the majority of police officers I have personally encountered do not conduct themselves with honesty, integrity or impartiality. This is also my experience and also observation of other's cases... (not rape related).

            I have personaly won twenty two recommendations by the Independent Police Complaints Commission AGAINST my local police force...even then only a fraction of the complaints were...even sort of investigated...

            My concern, here, is that I have meet, read of & am aware of, far, far to many ordinary people who have blind faith & trust in police. (perhaps it is because I am of a minority group which has traditionally been victimised & targeted by police that I am far more aware of their shortcomings).

            *Funny how nobody takes a 'pop' at Saffron, 'bless you Saff', who has voiced similar feelings to myself, could it be that 'Saff' is not an ardent outspoken poof...surely not?*

            Many people are simply too scared to voice their justifiable complaint against the police...and then there is the sorry practise of inhouse protection & cover up of those officers who should be drummed out of the force!

            However, when then caught up in such a serious & emmotive allegation as that of 'rape', niaevety has to be discarded for self preservation.

            To many want to say 'shhhh'! Don't ripple the pond, but the pond needs rippling. RF keeps telling us of ALL the cases of people they are involved in 'banged up' who should not be there! Well who gathered the evidence to put them there?

            I know had I not fought my corner, gathered the evidence which the police ignored, gathered statements which police choose not too. Had I sat back & done nothing, leaving it to others, things may well have turned out very differently. I might have even been charged, which I was not.

            I'm not religious but the saying "God helps those who help themselves" comes to mind.

            My opinion, If falsely accused, is caste aside faith in the police.
            My opinion, If falsely accused, is see the police for what they are, a system solely for the gathering of prosecution material...alone!

            It is no skin of my back if someone blindly believes in the police and spends 12yrs or so, banged up three in a cell on 23hr lock down, on 'the rule' with the 'nonce' sex offenders, (the lowest of the low in the prison heirachy) with a 200 pound chap called 'Tiny', who wants to be an 'intimate' friend!

            I'm sorry but that could be a reality...if one places a misguided faith in police!

            There is a political suggestion currently to bring back police random searches and discard the safeguards of 'Stop & search'. Well that will isolated certain ethnic British citizens who were the focus of race motivated random search previously. Ostracising already often marginalised minority communities. It inevitably will enable police to refocus old prejudices & habits on other still vulnerable minority targets within society at large, those traditionaly victims of police hostilities & prejudices.

            It was the Home Office which stated in a 2005 report that Homophobia was ENDEMIC throughout the police forces. The canteen culture of Racist, Sexist & homophobic prejudice is alive and well and THRIVING in the bastion of our protected police forces.

            The IPCC recently anounced a considerable increase in complaints against the police last year. My own particular local police force complaints went up by 19% last year! Most complaints against police go uninvestigated, brushed under the IPCC lumpy carpet.

            I'm drifting off 'rape' here I know, but have we learned NOTHING from the Stephen Lawrence report & the Charles De Menezes killing?

            But by all means, have faith in the police, one might have plenty of 'time' to reflect on such a folly!

            Trust a police officer?

            I'd rather trust someone 'fasely accused of rape'!

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            • #21
              UD, you have far to big a brush full of tar with which you paint people, particularly it would seem the Police? Of cause there is bad in every Constabulary but thats also true of every walk of life, look at Politicians, Drs, Teachers, people in positions of trust, religous folk, and believe it or not some Gay people, Christ even the Royal family are under the spot light over the Diana business!! We are all human beings and you hear all the time of those that stray off the path for reasons known only to them selves. I'm sorry you are so bitter, I don't know you, but it sounds like you,ve let them win after all, you've become twisted! **** 'em! excuse my French, chill out and start enjoying life and if you don't like what's on offer here go somewhere else in the world. I'm sorry also that your dear ol' mum feels the way she does, I pray she doesn't become the victim of crime and needs the Police, if for no other reason, without a crime number for the insurance company she's buggered!! Get ya self a cup of Tea and put ya feet up! Chill..

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              • #22
                WELL SAID!!!!
                People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                • #23
                  Oh, Lordy.

                  Please let's not all have a pop at each other. We are here for a common purpose, which is to support and guide those who are falsely accused/convicted of a sex crime. The way I see it is this:

                  we can all only ever speak from our own experiences. being heterosexual, I can't comment on police homophobia, but I have no doubt that it is alive and thriving, the same way as their blind prosecution of those accused of sex crimes is. My belief is that the Police are simply there to gather evidence for the prosecution, and that they never endeavour to uncover the whole story. I know this from bitter personal experience.

                  My husband's uncle was the youngest sergeant the Met had ever had, but he took early retirement after uncovering a massive corruption scandal. (this was several years back). pocket-lining, nest-feathering, etc.

                  I think that these days the police are put under enormous pressure to meet targets for things like sex crimes, and therefore are not necessarily interested in finding out the truth.

                  I too was raised in a good, loving home and was always taught to respect the police. however, my own experiences are that saying "no comment" is clearly the best way to go! A few years ago, I would have trusted them blindly...not any more. It gives me no pleasure to say that - i would much rather be be able to trust them. but after all, who polices the police?

                  UD, you are right to assume I am not an ardent and outspoken poof! [bless you!] No-one takes a pop at me because I try to be balanced and not repeat the same stuff over and over. Having said that, I used to wibble on for ages here about injustice, trying to get it straight in my head. And you clearly have more experience of police bias and injustice than i do. it is not a pleasant thing to experience, and it makes one incredibly angry. I feel your rage, and I empathise completely, but I also know how destructive and poisonous it can be for your soul.

                  with regard to what you say about being in prison...my husband was down with the "nonces," tarred with The Rule, had dirty plasters and nails put in his food, and was even, on his arrival at HMP Belmarsh, accused of being a policeman! (i think that frightened him more than being banged up in the first place! his own fault though - wearing a Paul Smith suit to sentencing....what was he thinking?) he had to share a single-man cell with 2 others, and although no-one forced him to be their "special friend" he was propositioned a couple of times.

                  BroA8, it sounds as though you certainly worked closely with the police, and that you are speaking from your own experiences about them not being corrupt. when you first started posting here, you had an optimistic faith in the system. the replies you have received from RF, RFLH, UD and me have hopefully disabused you of that notion.

                  So, in summary, I agree that the police by and large are only interested in securing prosecutions for their targets, and that they cannot be trusted. I also agree that UD needs to allow his fury to change down a gear to simple anger, and triumph over his accuser by continuing to live his life contentedly. UD, I am not suggesting that you let go of it altogether - anger is an emotion that feeds the brain - but it worries me that you are so wrathful all the time. Please don't let the red rage consume you. you are clearly an intelligent man, and you make a very valuable contribution to this site.

                  anyway. that's my bit over. Big hugs to everyone.

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                  • #24
                    ...and there's the point. My 75yr old mother has already been a victim of crime...commited by a F***ing police officer & colleague! (..and nothing to do directly with the allegation against me.)

                    ...and its not just my mother, our neighbours, friends & some other members of the local gay community who are factually informed (many witnesses) of what has been going on. I guess I'm middle England. I do not live on some 'chav' estate, but in a six bedroom detatched home standing in an acre of its own grounds. Prior to the police vendetta I ran two businesses employng local people, both businesses destroyed by police misconduct & malpractise. I actually used to attend public meetings on policing.

                    Other people I personally know also victims of crime...again, commited by police officers!!! Thats the bl**dy point!

                    I'm not talking about a barrel with one or two bad police apples...I'm talking about a police force which is both deeply prejudicial & CORRUPT through its covering up of repeated incidents of misconduct & malpractise, abuse of power by numerous police officers..not one or two!

                    ...and thank you, but I am chilled ...but very passionate!

                    ...and after reading here (and elsewhere) of case, after case, after case, often from RF, where police have, often through blatant dishonesty, stitched someone. Well I think the first messege to anyone coming to this site should be...

                    ...abandon any faith in the police if falsely accused.

                    Bro...you appear incredibly niave about the reality of how police actually conduct themselves, I'm almost guessing you might be one, lol.

                    I recommend the book 'UNTOUCHABLES' written by two highly regarded & respectable investagative journalists regarding criminality, misconduct & dishonesty within the police. Its a real eye opener.

                    Why do some insist on accepting that "oh there are a few known bad in every constabulary". Would you accept that "Oh, there are one or two known peadophiles working as teachers at the local primary schoool". NO!

                    So how is it perfectly acceptable that there are some bad coppers in every constabulary...and when pointed out & often already known who these coppers are...their colleagues simply close rank & cover up for them...because their coppers. That is simply unacceptable...police hold a unique postion of trust & duty within society.

                    UD

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                    • #25
                      UD has a point. we wouldn't accept a paedophile working in a school so why should a corrupt Police officer be dismissed as "a bad apple"?

                      Incidentally, good analogy UD. and it's good to have a decent debate on here again. over recent months too many people have had outraged sensibilities when someone ventures an opinion. (Unregistered posters in particular....you know who you are!)
                      Last edited by Saffron; 31 January 2008, 05:57 PM.

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                      • #26
                        Thank you Saff

                        Massive dose of sense and balance. Soz, about the paragraph about 'the nick', if that raised 'spectres' regarding your hubbies time or for anyone else, but I felt it needed to be said. Your description is the reality of prison for many convicted sex offenders today. Better not to get there in the first place and then have to try to fight your way out through appeal or worse do the whole sentance for a crime not committed, I feel. Which is why I post the wake up call about police...they are not your friend if falsely accused

                        If my passion makes some uncomfortable...good, it should!

                        I am ticked off with the sheep like blanket notion I encounter that police as an organisation are honest. That we should 'hush up'. Most who know to the contary are bullied into silence! Good God, no wonder the police got away with the 'De Menezes' debarcle.

                        I may not have lost my liberty through incarceration through a false allegation, but there have been huge costs, and not just financial.

                        RF you deal very, very effectively with the legal aspects. But you seem blisfully out of touch as to how this sort of thing can scar the soul. Like you I'm trying to make sure those falsely accused don't go down...with a wake up call and for some that clearly means adjusting their fluffy warm perspective on police. Police might pat dogs & smile at children...so did Adolf, Heydrich & Himmler.

                        Of Topic :- (Sorry, that last bit, I've been working lately on compilation of a "Hidden Holocaust" video for International Holocaust Day, as part of an lgbt history month project nationwide. This regarding the now estimated 100,000+ lgbt persons who were arrested by German 'police' between 1933-1945 under paragraph 175 of the German penal code during the 2nd WW. I've been looking at truely horrendous visual evidence & testimony of offences against humanity. Tens of tens of thousands of lgbt persons whom ended their lives wearing a 'pink triangle' in the same death camps as the Jews, Gypsies, Political & Religious prisoners, but unlike the others groups targeted by the Nazi, most of the surviving lgbt victims were 'kept' in prison, just for being gay by the 'Allied forces' even after the Nazi death camp liberations. Then, (as now) those gay persons convicted by 'police' evidence & judicial courts as being a sex offender were the lowest of the low in the death camp hierachy and many paid the price with their lives. I know some local police to me who would given half the chance, still voluntarily assist in the arrest of gay persons today for no other reason than the target being gay)

                        There used to be an HIV/AIDS activist slogan:-

                        Silence = Death

                        I sincerely believe we should not be silent on those things which need addressing & preventing. To do so is to conspire with that which is wrong.

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                        • #27
                          UD - you're a pillock - apart from pride you've lost nothing.

                          You are contributing nothing to the site apart from ranting. I should imagine that you've put off a lot of people who would have posted except for your rantings.

                          I doubt very much if I'll bother posting from now on - therefore others will not be helped because of you, but I doubt if that will bother you as your head is so far up your own behind (how apt) you wouldn't notice.

                          And no, before you spout off I'm not homophobic and I'm not in the police.

                          Sorry Saffron, but he has royally ticked me off and not only me.
                          And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                          • #28
                            RFLH

                            Thank you for the direct insult(s), and prey tell how do you know 'what I have or have not lost'?

                            My accountant estimated £20,000 loss from just one of my business alone in the six months following police action. That was the smaller of the two businessess destroyed!

                            What do you know of the impact of the police conduct upon my personal relationships, life, income or health?

                            You speak without knowing!

                            I prevent nobody from expressing their opinion or contributing since it is their choice. However I note that as someone actually 'falselly accused', but never charged, through my own direct defensive actions to secure both evidence & statements which police did not, I'm the one under attack... from you, hmmm!

                            RFLH, Sorry, I did not realise this was your exclusive empire in which to express only yourself?

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                            • #29
                              eeezzzeeee now people!

                              STOP!

                              i agree with what saffron says 100%.

                              i think the site is here for people to express opinions, and if they just want to rant (sorry UD) then they should be able to. at least UD's here to post (as opposed to appealing his sentence), and if he's livid about the situation he was in and consequences thereof then that's valid - it's just taking a while to get over it. it's not like the "feminist" or radicalist lobbyists who've restricted the defendants right to defend himself or encouraged the prosecution of flimsy cases keep quiet, rational or even-handed! perhaps UD's views would be better expressed in the political arena - where people who shout the loudest win the argument - and perhaps comparing our police and their conduct to the atrocities committed by the Nazis is stretching the point. but at least his opinions can't be described as ambiguous!

                              but this section is here primarily for people falsely accused of rape to get support and advice. no-one can argue that... so we need to know (or "be hit round the head" with the knowledge) that justice doesn't prevail and UD puts it better than anyone else, with other posts qualifying that pov with more rational arguments.

                              and i'm in the middle of that process right now - a "mushroom" - and to be perfectly honest i'm more than capable of filtering comments people make. let people work through their anger if that's what they need to do. but quite rightly advise them to get over it before it poisons everything good - UD, at least you're walking around, and at least you live in a country where you can say this sort of stuff without having your tongue ripped out!

                              and thanks for being here! really! to put the advice i've received into context: i visited the CAB office a few days ago, and the lovely lady who helped me out said "i wouldn't worry too much about it" and "i'm sure you'll be fine, you don't look like the sort of person who'd do that. some women, eh?". and i was calm and composed, not bawling my eyes out! so based on her advice i would have tried to put it to the back of my mind while i took my ex-employer to court for unfair dismissal, which she was much more concerned about! so thanks!!!
                              Last edited by lemming; 31 January 2008, 08:24 PM.

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                              • #30
                                Thanx Lemming

                                Yes, this site is primarily & foremost about those falsely accused of rape. Of which I personally have been.
                                Part of my survival from being charged was personal 'positive assertive action', when I rapidly realised that the police were ignoring evidence & statements. I therefore advise others to be equally as 'pro-active' as I was.
                                Part of my experience has been police dishonesty (to say the least)
                                Regretably the minority community from which I come has traditionally been a target of prejudicial & less than scruplulous officers of the law. Therefore having been a gay equality & HIV/AIDS activist for twenty years, I am very aware of the reality of the serious problem within the police.
                                Having read through quite a few of the threads posted by people I am truely alarmed at the level of trust some place in police when falsely accused. Especially as RF trots off so many cases of people 'banged up' who should not be. That is terrifying & should send up warning rockets!
                                There is so, so, so, much more I could post here regarding police misconduct & my personal experience & observation, but it would be off 'rape' topic, but on topic for police treatement of me as a gay person then subsequently accussed of rape.
                                Lemming is right I can speak out about injustice (if some allow me too!) unlike two teenage boys in Iran hung for being lovers.



                                (These two gay lads were just 16 & 18 when executed in 2005, they were accused of rape & homosexuality.)

                                But being bullied into silence does not help, by those who don't like the unpalitable messege, but when there is injustice it should be shouted out and the system quick to put it right. There are 'fools' who think it serves our society to cover up institutional 'cock ups', dishonesty & corruption, but it does not!
                                Some of my advice may, just may, like in my case, prevent a false allegation from even getting to the point of there being a charge, let alone court or worse a conviction.
                                ...and for the record it was an attempted suicide on my part...directly due to the dishonest police conduct, which brought me up hard. From then on I vowed to fight the Bast**ds in blue and the corruption within the police force I have personally encountered.

                                ...and to me that means making other people aware

                                An old gay man I knew in his 80's who had personally contributed to the Wolfden enquiry report which led to the decriminalising of homosexuality in the UK 40yrs ago, said to me " As gay people we are only ever one government away from the gas chambers"

                                ...as I said, and I know police officers who would happily stoke them.


                                UD

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