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Hi,
This is going to be a long one, but I'll keep it as clear and concise as possible, and believe me, I am not going into every detail as there is so much more than I can remember, plus I'd be literally here all day typing it out. There are two FA in my situation. One is my ex wife who I split with 5 years ago, the other my ex partner who I split with 18 months ago.
I have two children with my ex wife who are between the ages of 7-11, and I have a child under one with my ex partner. In a nutshell, I was unfaithful to my ex partner, contracted an STD and passed it on to her. Without going into full details, she obviously found out and we split. A few weeks after this she made contact and wanted to chat etc, to try and work things out. I obliged, and this happened for a few weeks as she was hot and cold, over emotional and running away, yet would always get back in touch. During these meet ups we had sex in my house as she made it clear she wanted to try and prove to me she was worth it; so effectively trying desperately to regain some self esteem and also make me want her, and for her to feel wanted and loved.
She decided we should go away for a night with my two children from my ex wife's relationship. We did, shared a family room together and had sex a few times in the bathroom when the children were asleep. Again, this was all instigated by her in an attempt to 'show me what I was missing'.
A few days later she got in touch asking if just me and her wanted to go away the following weekend, to which I agreed. We went away for two nights and had sex on numerous occasions - fully consensual - instigated by her, and that was that.
After that weekend she was blowing hot and cold as usual, running away as she couldn't cope with what I'd done, constantly bringing it up, not really wanting to work through it, but was happy to engage in text tennis with me. This happened for a couple of weeks.
After that period, she got in touch and asked me to meet her to talk, which I obliged. We met and she greeted me with two positive pregnancy tests, and it was quite obvious she had conceived during our alone weekend together. She then suggested we should go away together for a night again that day/night, so we booked and went away. Again, we had consensual sex during that night away.
She was blowing hot and cold throughout the pregnancy, we rarely met, and when we did she was very emotional bringing up the past, what I'd done, how she is struggling to forgive me etc etc. She basically wanted me to eat humble pie and to feel the agony she was feeling. Nothing I said or did was appeasing her, it was ultimately an illusion for her, wanting me to chase her repeatedly, to no end destination. She wanted to feel wanted and loved, and I could have done anything to show her I loved her and wanted her, but it was never enough. I could have self harmed to show her (I didn't, this is an example of the level I could have gone to) how sorry I am and that I want her back, and even that wouldn't be enough.
During one her emotional outbursts one day she was calling me everything, referred to me being unfaithful and then followed up by accusing me of raping her in my sleep. I obviously questioned her, asking when did this allegedly happen, what evidence she had and why is she bringing this up now during an argument when she is highly emotional. A couple of months had passed and she would be floating in and out of contact, mainly giving me abuse and telling me what an awful person I am. All she ever wanted in life was to be a mother; she wanted the happy family. Marriage, kids, house etc. She longed for it. She was carrying a child and soon became very manipulating around this and wanted power and control, as it was 'my baby'. I was always going to be secondary, even if we were to patch things up.
She got in touch a month or so after a quiet spell and said (yet again) that she wanted to work things out and that she would come around the following weekend and we should have sex to see if there's still a spark. These were her exact words. I refused, explaining that that is not the answer and that it is far deeper than having sex to establish if there is still a spark. The following week I received a text off her explaining that she had gone for an early scan to find out the sex of the baby and that she knew what the sex was, but she didn't tell me. I called her some unsavory things as I was annoyed by this as being the father I was going to be the last person to know the sex of my child, and it was quite clear she did it to hurt me.
The week after that was her 20 week scan, and I'd arranged to be there. The night before I received a text from her asking me not to attend and she told me the sex of the baby.
After that, a week or so after, she texted me again having a rant and I basically told her she hid the sex of the baby away from me in an attempt to hurt me and get even. She agreed she did act this way to hurt me, and I have text evidence of this. We met, and it was clear she did not want to be there; her mood was off, she was oozing bitterness towards me. I ended up walking out of where we were (politely), and she followed me to the car park. In the car park she ranted at me again and accused me of raping her in my sleep once more. I repeated the same questions as I did the first time.
I then got told the baby had been born and I agreed to visit them both the next day when she was back at home. She told me three days after the birth, to give you an idea of my clear role in her and the baby's life here. I saw her and hadn't even sat down when she stressed to me that I would only see the baby in her presence and that my family were never seeing him. I agreed initially as I wanted to see my newborn.
I saw the baby a few times over the first 4-5 weeks, we would sit at her house in the evening, watch films, I'd make us food etc, but she would still bring up the past, never having moved on from this. She then became increasingly concerned about finances and saw me as a cash cow. Anyway, this is irrelevant, but it gives you an idea of my role here. We would have disagreements when I saw her, and I'd walked out a couple of times as it was draining me.
I left her house one evening on bad terms and told her this is clearly not working and I can only see getting a court order as the way forward for me and the baby to see each other. She didn't believe me. I received a long ranting text from her, then two days following she phoned me as I hadn't replied, she was extremely emotional and yet again began screaming at me over the phone and accused me of raping her in my sleep for a third time. I repeated exactly what I'd said before and that I am putting the phone down.
I have my two children from my ex wife on set days as I have a court order in place there, so I'd planned for them to see their new sibling in a few days, but my ex partner during this emotional call told me that we were not to come to her house, so I agreed. A few days later she texted asking if I am wanting to see the baby, I said I did, but not in her presence as all we are doing in arguing and it isn't healthy for the baby, me or her. She told me I am not seeing the baby without her being present and that she would arrange for a third party to be present during my visit.
At this point I'd already made my mind up to follow through with court proceedings to see my newborn, and based on her allegations, I'd decided to stay well away from her moving forward as I am opening myself up to anything. I explained to her that a third party she arranges isn't independent, it will be a family member of friend of hers and I am not comfortable with that as I am leaving myself open to any potential allegations.
She replied stating that there is no other option and that I am simply not seeing the newborn without her being in the house, it is as simple as that. She also said in her message she isn't sure what allegations I am referring to, which speaks volumes. I didn't respond and did the court application. Some time after, I received a date to attend a first hearing in court to see the baby.
Four weeks out from the first hearing I received a knock at the door from CID explaining there had been a complaint made against me from my ex partner and offered me a voluntary interview, to which I agreed.
For legal reasons I wont go into full details, but her accusations are slightly different to that in which she verbally accused me of during her emotional rants. She also accused me of sexual assault on three occasions, one of which was in front of my eldest child when we went away for the night with them.
Six months on and I am no further on. It is with CPS now I am told.
To add more to the story, I had my two children from my ex wife as part of a court order which I implemented. I will cut this VERY short, but my ex wife has never got over me leaving her 5 years ago. She is extremely irrational and is never easy to work with, constantly finds fault in anything and everything I do. She is extremely pedantic over words in the court order and doesn't act like an adult.
Throughout the police investigation I have had the same access to my two children as normal, via the court order. My ex wife has moaned on occasion, but in general it has worked fine. A few weeks ago I was miles away in a meeting with my job and had asked a member of my family to collect my two children from school as I was never going to be back in time. The school where my youngest goes to had phoned my ex wife telling them that I wouldn't be collecting my child and that a family member (who my child spends a huge amount of time with) would be collecting the child instead. My ex wife texted me going crazy, saying I was breaching the court order again and that this is unacceptable and that I should stop having them on a weekday as 'clearly I cannot stick to it'. I have had this for two years, she basically wants more child maintenance from me as her payment has gone down since my newborn came along.
Cutting it short, my ex wife told me to stay away and that she will be collecting the children from school, which she did. The following day I received a call from my employers informing me I had been dismissed, without a reason given. In my contract it states they can let you go with under two years service, with only a weeks notice.
I cancelled child maintenance payments the following day with not earning and notified the CSA.
The next week I turned up at my eldest child's school to pick them up and they did not come out. The receptionist confirmed my ex wife had collected them early. I phoned my other child's school to see if the same thing had happened there, and they confirmed it had. So my ex wife is now breaching the court order. My younger child's school asked me to call the Head the following day and she will explain things in more detail. I did, and the Head was very wishy washy, wasn't giving me the full details, but said social services had been in touch and told the school I am breaching the court order by not collecting my child as it states 'the father shall collect the children from school'. I found it odd that it would get to the level of social services, especially as I hadn't heard anything from them in 5 and a half months since the police investigation took place. I took it upon myself to contact social services, and after many calls chasing them up I finally received a call back from a case worker.
She confirmed a PVP had been received by the police only recently which confirmed my allegations and the one linked to one of my children seeing an assault. To safeguard the children, I am not to see the children, my ex wife had decided this and she had been made aware of the allegations against me.
I am disgusted it has taken nearly 6 months for the police to share this information with social services, as if I was this threat to society, and children, I have had a very long time to put them in very compromising and dangerous situations, introducing them to anyone or anything. Apparently the Police made an error with the addresses of the children and it had gone to another local council or something. Either way, it is abysmal.
I received a letter from the CSA a week later asking me to prove I was having my children connected to my wife shared care. I phoned them and confirmed nothing had changed officially, there is a court order in place which they know, and that I am having personal issues at the moment so during the interim I will not be seeing them. My ex wife had decided to play the role of judge and take it upon herself to decide I wasn't having the children anymore, obviously wanting more money.
My ex wife, and ex partner would receive their CSA payment at the beginning of each month, so that obviously didn't happen this month with me not working. This would have rattled her as she saw me having the children on a pay as you go service. If I pay CSA, I get them. If I don't, well, I don't see them.
Social services went to her house before seeing me to interview her, her partner (who also hates me), and my two children. I had alarm bells ringing as she had two weeks to build a fake story before the social worker was coming to see her, and also manipulate my two children to lie. I did make this known to the social worker.
I had my interview the day after my ex wife's, and it was fine, fairly relaxed and I was honest with her about everything. It is worth saying that the relationship I have with my two children is superb; the confide in me, talk open and honest to me and we are like best friends. My ex wife knows this and is jealous of this. My eldest only last year asked to live with me, which shows how miserable he is with her and her partner. .
Last night I received a call from my solicitor saying my ex wife has raised an allegation of rape towards me. I feel broken. The writing was on the wall and I knew she was capable of this. Due to the social worker telling her about the rape allegation against me from my ex partner, she has jumped on the bang wagon in an attempt to frame me and ruin my life so I cannot see my children. She wants revenge, just like my ex. She is bitter, miserable, resentful and hostile towards me.
So, not only I am under investigation for my ex partner for rape and sexual assault on numerous counts, I have lost my job due to under performing in my role, which has consequently made me lose my house as I cannot afford to run it alone. I cannot see my children (any of them), and now my ex wife is accusing me on rape too.
I have my police interview on Monday regarding my ex wife's claims. It has to be historic as we have been apart 5 years and she has been in a relationship for 2 years with her current partner.
This is going to be a long one, but I'll keep it as clear and concise as possible, and believe me, I am not going into every detail as there is so much more than I can remember, plus I'd be literally here all day typing it out. There are two FA in my situation. One is my ex wife who I split with 5 years ago, the other my ex partner who I split with 18 months ago.
I have two children with my ex wife who are between the ages of 7-11, and I have a child under one with my ex partner. In a nutshell, I was unfaithful to my ex partner, contracted an STD and passed it on to her. Without going into full details, she obviously found out and we split. A few weeks after this she made contact and wanted to chat etc, to try and work things out. I obliged, and this happened for a few weeks as she was hot and cold, over emotional and running away, yet would always get back in touch. During these meet ups we had sex in my house as she made it clear she wanted to try and prove to me she was worth it; so effectively trying desperately to regain some self esteem and also make me want her, and for her to feel wanted and loved.
She decided we should go away for a night with my two children from my ex wife's relationship. We did, shared a family room together and had sex a few times in the bathroom when the children were asleep. Again, this was all instigated by her in an attempt to 'show me what I was missing'.
A few days later she got in touch asking if just me and her wanted to go away the following weekend, to which I agreed. We went away for two nights and had sex on numerous occasions - fully consensual - instigated by her, and that was that.
After that weekend she was blowing hot and cold as usual, running away as she couldn't cope with what I'd done, constantly bringing it up, not really wanting to work through it, but was happy to engage in text tennis with me. This happened for a couple of weeks.
After that period, she got in touch and asked me to meet her to talk, which I obliged. We met and she greeted me with two positive pregnancy tests, and it was quite obvious she had conceived during our alone weekend together. She then suggested we should go away together for a night again that day/night, so we booked and went away. Again, we had consensual sex during that night away.
She was blowing hot and cold throughout the pregnancy, we rarely met, and when we did she was very emotional bringing up the past, what I'd done, how she is struggling to forgive me etc etc. She basically wanted me to eat humble pie and to feel the agony she was feeling. Nothing I said or did was appeasing her, it was ultimately an illusion for her, wanting me to chase her repeatedly, to no end destination. She wanted to feel wanted and loved, and I could have done anything to show her I loved her and wanted her, but it was never enough. I could have self harmed to show her (I didn't, this is an example of the level I could have gone to) how sorry I am and that I want her back, and even that wouldn't be enough.
During one her emotional outbursts one day she was calling me everything, referred to me being unfaithful and then followed up by accusing me of raping her in my sleep. I obviously questioned her, asking when did this allegedly happen, what evidence she had and why is she bringing this up now during an argument when she is highly emotional. A couple of months had passed and she would be floating in and out of contact, mainly giving me abuse and telling me what an awful person I am. All she ever wanted in life was to be a mother; she wanted the happy family. Marriage, kids, house etc. She longed for it. She was carrying a child and soon became very manipulating around this and wanted power and control, as it was 'my baby'. I was always going to be secondary, even if we were to patch things up.
She got in touch a month or so after a quiet spell and said (yet again) that she wanted to work things out and that she would come around the following weekend and we should have sex to see if there's still a spark. These were her exact words. I refused, explaining that that is not the answer and that it is far deeper than having sex to establish if there is still a spark. The following week I received a text off her explaining that she had gone for an early scan to find out the sex of the baby and that she knew what the sex was, but she didn't tell me. I called her some unsavory things as I was annoyed by this as being the father I was going to be the last person to know the sex of my child, and it was quite clear she did it to hurt me.
The week after that was her 20 week scan, and I'd arranged to be there. The night before I received a text from her asking me not to attend and she told me the sex of the baby.
After that, a week or so after, she texted me again having a rant and I basically told her she hid the sex of the baby away from me in an attempt to hurt me and get even. She agreed she did act this way to hurt me, and I have text evidence of this. We met, and it was clear she did not want to be there; her mood was off, she was oozing bitterness towards me. I ended up walking out of where we were (politely), and she followed me to the car park. In the car park she ranted at me again and accused me of raping her in my sleep once more. I repeated the same questions as I did the first time.
I then got told the baby had been born and I agreed to visit them both the next day when she was back at home. She told me three days after the birth, to give you an idea of my clear role in her and the baby's life here. I saw her and hadn't even sat down when she stressed to me that I would only see the baby in her presence and that my family were never seeing him. I agreed initially as I wanted to see my newborn.
I saw the baby a few times over the first 4-5 weeks, we would sit at her house in the evening, watch films, I'd make us food etc, but she would still bring up the past, never having moved on from this. She then became increasingly concerned about finances and saw me as a cash cow. Anyway, this is irrelevant, but it gives you an idea of my role here. We would have disagreements when I saw her, and I'd walked out a couple of times as it was draining me.
I left her house one evening on bad terms and told her this is clearly not working and I can only see getting a court order as the way forward for me and the baby to see each other. She didn't believe me. I received a long ranting text from her, then two days following she phoned me as I hadn't replied, she was extremely emotional and yet again began screaming at me over the phone and accused me of raping her in my sleep for a third time. I repeated exactly what I'd said before and that I am putting the phone down.
I have my two children from my ex wife on set days as I have a court order in place there, so I'd planned for them to see their new sibling in a few days, but my ex partner during this emotional call told me that we were not to come to her house, so I agreed. A few days later she texted asking if I am wanting to see the baby, I said I did, but not in her presence as all we are doing in arguing and it isn't healthy for the baby, me or her. She told me I am not seeing the baby without her being present and that she would arrange for a third party to be present during my visit.
At this point I'd already made my mind up to follow through with court proceedings to see my newborn, and based on her allegations, I'd decided to stay well away from her moving forward as I am opening myself up to anything. I explained to her that a third party she arranges isn't independent, it will be a family member of friend of hers and I am not comfortable with that as I am leaving myself open to any potential allegations.
She replied stating that there is no other option and that I am simply not seeing the newborn without her being in the house, it is as simple as that. She also said in her message she isn't sure what allegations I am referring to, which speaks volumes. I didn't respond and did the court application. Some time after, I received a date to attend a first hearing in court to see the baby.
Four weeks out from the first hearing I received a knock at the door from CID explaining there had been a complaint made against me from my ex partner and offered me a voluntary interview, to which I agreed.
For legal reasons I wont go into full details, but her accusations are slightly different to that in which she verbally accused me of during her emotional rants. She also accused me of sexual assault on three occasions, one of which was in front of my eldest child when we went away for the night with them.
Six months on and I am no further on. It is with CPS now I am told.
To add more to the story, I had my two children from my ex wife as part of a court order which I implemented. I will cut this VERY short, but my ex wife has never got over me leaving her 5 years ago. She is extremely irrational and is never easy to work with, constantly finds fault in anything and everything I do. She is extremely pedantic over words in the court order and doesn't act like an adult.
Throughout the police investigation I have had the same access to my two children as normal, via the court order. My ex wife has moaned on occasion, but in general it has worked fine. A few weeks ago I was miles away in a meeting with my job and had asked a member of my family to collect my two children from school as I was never going to be back in time. The school where my youngest goes to had phoned my ex wife telling them that I wouldn't be collecting my child and that a family member (who my child spends a huge amount of time with) would be collecting the child instead. My ex wife texted me going crazy, saying I was breaching the court order again and that this is unacceptable and that I should stop having them on a weekday as 'clearly I cannot stick to it'. I have had this for two years, she basically wants more child maintenance from me as her payment has gone down since my newborn came along.
Cutting it short, my ex wife told me to stay away and that she will be collecting the children from school, which she did. The following day I received a call from my employers informing me I had been dismissed, without a reason given. In my contract it states they can let you go with under two years service, with only a weeks notice.
I cancelled child maintenance payments the following day with not earning and notified the CSA.
The next week I turned up at my eldest child's school to pick them up and they did not come out. The receptionist confirmed my ex wife had collected them early. I phoned my other child's school to see if the same thing had happened there, and they confirmed it had. So my ex wife is now breaching the court order. My younger child's school asked me to call the Head the following day and she will explain things in more detail. I did, and the Head was very wishy washy, wasn't giving me the full details, but said social services had been in touch and told the school I am breaching the court order by not collecting my child as it states 'the father shall collect the children from school'. I found it odd that it would get to the level of social services, especially as I hadn't heard anything from them in 5 and a half months since the police investigation took place. I took it upon myself to contact social services, and after many calls chasing them up I finally received a call back from a case worker.
She confirmed a PVP had been received by the police only recently which confirmed my allegations and the one linked to one of my children seeing an assault. To safeguard the children, I am not to see the children, my ex wife had decided this and she had been made aware of the allegations against me.
I am disgusted it has taken nearly 6 months for the police to share this information with social services, as if I was this threat to society, and children, I have had a very long time to put them in very compromising and dangerous situations, introducing them to anyone or anything. Apparently the Police made an error with the addresses of the children and it had gone to another local council or something. Either way, it is abysmal.
I received a letter from the CSA a week later asking me to prove I was having my children connected to my wife shared care. I phoned them and confirmed nothing had changed officially, there is a court order in place which they know, and that I am having personal issues at the moment so during the interim I will not be seeing them. My ex wife had decided to play the role of judge and take it upon herself to decide I wasn't having the children anymore, obviously wanting more money.
My ex wife, and ex partner would receive their CSA payment at the beginning of each month, so that obviously didn't happen this month with me not working. This would have rattled her as she saw me having the children on a pay as you go service. If I pay CSA, I get them. If I don't, well, I don't see them.
Social services went to her house before seeing me to interview her, her partner (who also hates me), and my two children. I had alarm bells ringing as she had two weeks to build a fake story before the social worker was coming to see her, and also manipulate my two children to lie. I did make this known to the social worker.
I had my interview the day after my ex wife's, and it was fine, fairly relaxed and I was honest with her about everything. It is worth saying that the relationship I have with my two children is superb; the confide in me, talk open and honest to me and we are like best friends. My ex wife knows this and is jealous of this. My eldest only last year asked to live with me, which shows how miserable he is with her and her partner. .
Last night I received a call from my solicitor saying my ex wife has raised an allegation of rape towards me. I feel broken. The writing was on the wall and I knew she was capable of this. Due to the social worker telling her about the rape allegation against me from my ex partner, she has jumped on the bang wagon in an attempt to frame me and ruin my life so I cannot see my children. She wants revenge, just like my ex. She is bitter, miserable, resentful and hostile towards me.
So, not only I am under investigation for my ex partner for rape and sexual assault on numerous counts, I have lost my job due to under performing in my role, which has consequently made me lose my house as I cannot afford to run it alone. I cannot see my children (any of them), and now my ex wife is accusing me on rape too.
I have my police interview on Monday regarding my ex wife's claims. It has to be historic as we have been apart 5 years and she has been in a relationship for 2 years with her current partner.
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