6 days to go

[Goodguy]

So we have less than a week to go till trail. After a meeting last week my oh was finally been positive and apart from still chasing up witnesses was happy that we had a strong defence built. Then the weekend came it was meant to be our last weekend to enjoy been semi normal before we spent this week re reading and building up for it. No last minute they've gone from having a 3 month period to a specific date. Partner has no recollection of time woth it been so long ago to know where he was or who with.

After a stressful weekend we've managed to hopefully use it to our advantage as it makes a story add up even less with the date she's provided.

But we seem to have took 10 steps back and for the first time in this ordeal I aren't the positive one that is keeping it all together. The stress of the new evidence and the realisation the date is only 6 days away after waiting months has got me in a blind panic.

Mixed in to that that I still don't know if I can be there to support him or if I'll be called as a witness amd its stressing me that i dont do well speaking in public or standing for periods of time withput veen faint and dizzy and with the stress ill already feel like that. and everyone else still hasn't arranged tome off work etc since no witnesses have been called and his key witness now been really ill and looking like they won't make it.

It seems after months of been prepared beyond belief that everything is going to fall apart at the last minute.

But now I have that out there and of my chest it's time to breath and try and refind my positive attitude that everything will be ok.

[Franticwithworry]

Breathing is much underrated. :-)

I'm sorry to hear that there are curve-balls being thrown at you at this late stage, but it seems to be par for the course. I'm glad though that it is turning out to be an advantage. Rest assured that even if you have to wait outside the court until you know if you are being called as a witness, that you are still a support to him. Emotional and moral support are just as valuable as sitting somewhere within sight. As soon as the decision is made you will be allowed into the courtroom and at the very least you will be able to sit in on the closing speeches.

In many ways, that is the most important part and when the barrister draws all the threads of the arguments together. All being will this will all be over by Christmas and you will be able to enjoy the holiday free from all this stress.

[Casehardened]

last minute they've gone from having a 3 month period to a specific date. Partner has no recollection of time woth it been so long ago to know where he was or who with.

After a stressful weekend we've managed to hopefully use it to our advantage as it makes a story add up even less with the date she's provided.

This is interesting and I suspect it is because the prosecution barrister having at long last looked at the file (they'll be no better in this respect than the defence which is obviously all we get to hear about) has pointed out to the FA that a 3 month window for such a memorable occasion will be less than believable to a jury.

As you mentioned, the fact that you know it is a concocted date should make it easy to construct a defence. Turn it around and, instead of trying to remember where your OH was, see if you can find out somehow what the FA was doing on that date.

[carrot tops]

I was called as a witness in my sons trial so couldn't be in court until I had given my evidence. Although it was scary at the time in retrospect I'm glad I was able to play my part in proving his innocence.

The official who led me to my seat was very pleasant and I was allowed to sit down even though I had no physical condition to make standing difficult. I was so nervous it felt safer to sit.

Just try and answer any questions simply and clearly and look at the jury when giving your answers. At one stage the prosecution tried to press me on I was choosing to believe my birth son over my adopted daughter so I was quite assertive in explaining why that was the case and holding to my viewpoint. It really is a case of you find the strength you need when you get there. I am definitely not a person keen on any form of public speaking.

Wishing you all the best. Take a good book, crossword puzzles, etc to keep yourself occupied if you are waiting around for a few days before giving evidence.

[Stressed out mother]

A week ago this was us! Curve balls kept flying with FA changing date of attendance which ment our witnesses had to chance date. Three times it changed!! I was due to be a witness, i felt sick and unable to be positive on the few days prior. Even though i knew i would not be able to go into the court i went as support.
Be prepared for a time of waiting! We sat there not seeing anyone concerned with our case for hours,only to find out afterthree hours that FA had in fact arrived as she was originally supposed to!
Two hours later we were on our way ome! Seems that more getsorted behind closed doors than it does in front of a jury!!
We got there!! The ride is far from smooth. The journey leaves its mark on everyone. Butone way or another there is an end! I spent that last week packing and repacking that damn bag!! I think it was because i could control that whilst everything else spiraled away!!
My thoughts are with you both. Take a deep breath and push on you are nearly at the finish line.
One thing our solicitor and barrister both said is that fa kept changing her story whilst sons trmained the same. They stressed that it put son in a much better light.

[Goodguy]

Thank you for all the advice. After a very stressful few days I think it has worked in our favour as managed to find out more about what was going on with her at that time and after trying for 10 months to get his family to help as they were around we had got no where and cut them out but seems to have finally gave them a wake up call and managed to get several accounts from them. Along with public declarations from people on social media saying she's lying so hopefully all goes to helping. Actually feel more positive than before.

Obviously this has gave the solicitor several new witness statements so told him to inform her that some of the original witnesses are unable to be off work due to not been told but atleast she can still read their statements out and he's hoping we find out today who's going up but she's still gathering statements so probably won't be till Monday morning at the court.

Thinking just struggling that solicitor will only speak to him and he forgets what's been said so I'm in the dark about what's going on but at the same time the only one that's gathering stuff from his family and all the other evidence as he's been too ill to sit and do it.

But feeling optimistic today that things will work out. The bag did me the other week just got a couple of odd things to put in it but not had chance to look at it since. But keeping busy with work and wrapping Xmas presents to take my mind off it all.

Shall keep you posted on how it goes next week.

[Franticwithworry]

Hi there Goodguy. I'm glad that you are feeling a little more optimistic.

However, though I know this is a little late in the day, there's something else that I would like to suggest to you. It is easy for us all to think that the lawyer is 'king' (or 'queen') and what they say goes, and I am a little alarmed that the solicitor in this matter is insisting on only talking to your OH, even though he has difficulty remembering things. If he has a meeting with her, he can take you along. If he has a phone call with her he can put the call on loudspeaker if he has that facility. If he wants the solicitor to talk to you or for you to contact her on his behalf, he can tell her that's what he wants. I have never known a solicitor refuse, but not everyone knows to ask/tell/ instruct.

Remember, she works for him, (even if legal aid is involved), and it's especially important that he has your support and practical help if he has memory difficulties and is ill. Goodness knows this is stressful enough to make anyone's mind go blank. We have a solicitor at the moment, who isn't able to do much because there are no charges yet, but it was agreed at the outset that either my man or I could call or email him with questions if we had any.

Please, get your oh to talk to his solicitor and tell her that he wants you involved in any other discussions and that he gives permission for her to talk to you. She may want it in writing, but that's an easy thing to provide. I'm astounded that she has simply told him that she can't talk to you and not that she can't talk to you without his permission, though I suppose it's possible that she has told him that but it hasn't really 'sunk in'. Two sets of eyes and ears are better than one.

[Peter1975]

If he has a meeting with her, he can take you along. If he has a phone call with her he can put the call on loudspeaker if he has that facility. If he wants the solicitor to talk to you or for you to contact her on his behalf, he can tell her that's what he wants. I have never known a solicitor refuse, but not everyone knows to ask/tell/ instruct.

Mrs Goodguy may be called as a witness though Frantic so the solicitor could object to her being in conference for that reason. Silly really when they live together and there's nothing stopping them from talking about the case at home but I believe it's something to do with the the sols code of conduct. Wouldn't matter if she is only a character witness though (I don't think)

Another pair of ears is always a good idea IMO as is taking copious notes so nothing is forgotten. He should definitely take notes in the dock during the trial so he can ask his barrister at the end of a session.

[Franticwithworry]

Mrs Goodguy may be called as a witness though Frantic so the solicitor could object to her being in conference for that reason. Silly really when they live together and there's nothing stopping them from talking about the case at home but I believe it's something to do with the the sols code of conduct. Wouldn't matter if she is only a character witness though (I don't think)

Another pair of ears is always a good idea IMO as is taking copious notes so nothing is forgotten. He should definitely take notes in the dock during the trial so he can ask his barrister at the end of a session.

Of course.

Rejigging what I said a little to say that he should be able to take a trusted friend as a second pair of eyes and ears - and the solicitor should have explained why she won't talk to Goodguy if being a witness is the issue. I was potentially going to be a defence witness in my husband's first case, now closed, and the solicitor never suggested that I couldn't accompany him at meetings or call up with questions on his behalf.

[Peter1975]

Of course.

Rejigging what I said a little to say that he should be able to take a trusted friend as a second pair of eyes and ears - and the solicitor should have explained why she won't talk to Goodguy if being a witness is the issue. I was potentially going to be a defence witness in my husband's first case, now closed, and the solicitor never suggested that I couldn't accompany him at meetings or call up with questions on his behalf.

Absolutely. The only reason I know of for excluding someone from a meeting is because they are a material witness and I've never actually heard the official reason for this. I will endeavor to find out.

[Goodguy]

Thanks for the advice. I am only a potential character witness and she knows that I'm the one that's found all the Facebook evidence. Ripped the statements to pieces etc so she knows I know everything about the case but it hasn't changed anything. I cut my holiday short to attend a meeting as it was the only time if be able to speak to her and he's made it clear he'd forgot everything they'd told him to do at a previous meeting but he's took a friend his sister his dad and myself to these meetings and she hasn't let any of them in. And now we're left with a day to find everything she's asked him for when he's forgot and blanked out.

She comes highly recommended on here so still have hope that she's got things together but it's just frustrating that if built the entire case as he's been unable to access things or deal with it and have all of his family that if never met messaging me as the solicitors told them to speak to me about it as I know it all about it bit I don't know what's going on because by the time he gets out of the meeting he's missed half of it.

We even have some family members with valuable information still waiting to speak to her and the trail starts Monday so only got today to get the information. Get the statements signed by witnesses as she hasn't returned any of them to sign and do this whole list of things she's sent and I'm working all day and he can't do it as he's having to spend the day travelling to her office for a last minute meeting.

Just hope it doesn't affect the case that she isn't going to have all the information she could have had due to leaving it till the last day

[Franticwithworry]

I'm flabbergasted to hear this. Has your OH met with his barrister? Has this all been explained to him/her? Honestly, I'd be calling a senior partner in the solicitor's firm and asking for an explanation, no matter how highly recommended this lawyer is.

To exclude anyone else when someone has memory difficulties without offering an alternative makes no sense to me.

[Goodguy]

Yes he had a meeting with the barrister last week but don't know how it went really because he could only remember bits when he got back and was going to record it all on his pho e but it had died.

After both telling her repeatedly we got now where and even today he tried to get someone to take him but she has said she they can't go in the meeting so No one was willing to give up their day to spend 2 hours sat outside feeling useless and I couldn't go due to work commitments. Even told her to ring instead as we couldn't afford the travel and thought that way he can have it on speaker woth someone else sat listening and making notes but she wouldn't ring so now have 5 pound to last till end of the month and a 4 day trail of parking and petrol etc to pay for next week. She knows that for the last year I'm the only one that's been able to work and iv had to run 2 houses pretty much woth him not been able to live here.

I'm just left hoping I don't get called as a witness so at least if they don't seem to know what's going on during it I can have a word in the breaks and remind them of stuff.

Just feel like it's all going to fall apart at the last minute because half of what she's asked him to do hasn't been done without that extra pair of ears. Even remembering his life from that time he hasn't remembered but if been able to piece it together from what I can remember and he's even told her she needs to speak to me to clarify things cos I remember more.

But can't do anything now about it other than hope and pray he's prepared without been given any advice

[Franticwithworry]

I'm speechless. :-( I still think it's worth trying to talk to a more senior lawyer in the firm and if that fails to explain all of this to the barrister before the trial starts. I hope some more knowlegeable people come in with some advice too.

[Stressed out mother]

It's a shame that someone else has been unable to attend meetings as a second pair of ears.
I too was unable to be at meetings due to being a witness. Did you never receive emails or letters confirming what information was required? It's a shame that in hindsight you didn't both insist on that. Maybe we got more info because I made sure I kept insisting that son asked for email updates.
Hopefully your solicitor and barrister have it all under control, they will be used to this unlike us. Unfortunately it tends to be forgotten that not everyone knows how the system works, and that some of us need things explained better to us.
Enjoy your weekend as best as you can. Find something that you can do that is not about the trial. Enjoy your weekend together and all the best. My thoughts will be with you next week.