Running out of hope and confidence of innocent decision

[Stressed out mother]

After the period of waiting for police to do their thing we were heartbroken for my son to be charged on two counts of rape and one of sexual assault.
His trial starts december 5th!
We supplied the barrister with a folder containing dates, pictures, copies of emails, texts etc which would hopefully disprove the accusations. To date this information has not been gone through, the solicitor we originally had was excellent but now have one working with the barrister, who we are quite impressed with. But this other solicitor keeps making appointments with my son, myself and other witness. Each time she cancells or is unable to attend the meeting and puts someone else to do the meetings. Of course that means that each time the person knows nothing of the case and so far all that has been discussed is the accusations and not the possible proof of lies that we put together.
I darent suggest a change at this point but it keeps gettng wor with both her, her mothr and her now boyfriend stating their facts that are nothing but lies and heresay.
She says she was raped when they first started goining out togethrr. However she stayed with home for nearly a year then left and moved to bournmouth. A couple of years later she begged my son to collect her from bournmouth as she was being abused. She even spoke to me begging to he allowed to move back in, complete with cats!
After nearly anothe year she moved out and moved in with another lad, left him for another one who she was engaged to but then left him saying her abused her and moved in with yet another lad!
She then begs my son to collect her from this lad as.....yes youve guessed it, he is hitting her.
Son collects her, like an idiot has sex! Which she claims was rape!!
So why the heck would someone who had been abused and raped return to that person?
So we have this to contend with, hoping that the meeting tomorrow with the barrister has some nougat of good news and that they actually go through the information we put together.
Meantime, i wrote my car off this month, got told by my heart consultant this weekthat i could be looking at five years then curtains and finally my grand daughter suffered a burn to the whole of her lower arm whilst at school last week, which is resulting in numerous hospital visits and certain scarring.
I really have got to the bottom of my well. I really dont know how i can support anyone anymore. I am a wreck anyone unfortunate enough to have me as a passenger in the car has me shaking, tensing and crying!
Ok maybe i need some help but to be quite honest dont really fancy more tablets on top of the heart tablets i have to take, which in all honesty might be making me depressed as a side effect!
Does my son have any chance of fighting this? His barrister is Simeon Evans, based in Chester. Having looked at his bio he has acted in some high profile cases. My sons original solicitor that he was given as a duty solicitor we changed and went with a solicitor suggested to us by our best man (from years ago!) who is s solicitor himself but does not specialise in this type of case. I just hope we are doing all that we can. We keep tabs on her fb page but that now seems to be kept private.
Suggestions welcome.

[Peter1975]

I'm really sorry to hear of all your troubles. You certainly seem to be having a difficult time of it lately.

The answer to your main question is yes, of course he has a chance of fighting this, and a very good one. Hopefully after the meeting with the barrister tomorrow you will have a better idea of the work that has been done and if they are still waiting on disclosure etc.

It's often the case that Solicitors and barristers don't seem to be doing much but usually they are busy in the background and simply have to prioritise cases that are closer to court. I would be a little concerned that you keep having different caseworkers but if the solicitor is any good they will be over seeing the whole thing. The most important thing is that there is a file with all of the information in it.

I can only urge you to NOT leave the meeting tomorrow without having answers to all of your questions. Write them all down so you don't forget. There should be plenty of time to discuss the evidence you have provided and if and how it will be used.

Please let us know how you got on.

[imsam]

It seems that you are going through some sort of private hell right now, with so much bad luck coming to you all at once. It takes a strong person to keep going, but you do sound like you are a strong person. Your son is lucky to have you fighting in his corner .

Try to keep going, through this time , but do take things carefully , your car accident might have been caused in some way by your mind being not totally focused on driving, I find that sometimes when I am worrying about my problems

You sound like your son is doing all the right things , I wish you good luck on Dec 5th

Sam

[Stressed out mother]

Thank you. Once again he has had a meeting cancelled so i have contacted the original solicitor on the case and complained! He is looking into the fact that the meeting keep getting postponed etc. Certainly doesnt help with getting your head in gear.
I know my problem iei have to organise. Not helped by fact family expect it of me so i get the full brunt of everyones problems.
This is something out of my control, i am better doing!

[Staystrong1]

Hi there

Sorry to hear of the awful situation your son and you are in, but well done for getting to this stage. It is truly the worst allegation and easiest to make against your son. Try not to panic. It sounds as if you are doing the right thing. The key thing is the time line and making sure you have any evidence to back this up to discredit and disprove the FA lies. You are bound to feel stressed and anxious so far it's been a one way street. Your son hasn't had a chance yet for his truth to be heard yet. No one has questionened her yet. Court will be the time for this. You must be as prepared and confident as you can be in a defence team. Don't be frightened to contact and ask for a meeting with his Barrister to run through everything. Don't be afraid to ring email either solicitor or Barrister with any queries, new bits so of evidence, I certainly did, it's your sons future at stake. Small,d and tails add d together can be crucial.

I found it was the last month when the case gathered momentum. Go through the disclosure pack with a fine tooth comb with any evidence you have to disprove FA allegation, this could include conflicting dates, photos, Facebook bank statements lots of different things, do a timeline, if you haven't already. When you have a meeting with Barrister solicitor you can go through this. This is what we did. Don't give up your son has every chance to state his case. Court seem so scary but you can get through this by holding your heads up high. You cannot let the FA a win. It is good Barrister has experience in these allegations. Stay strong you are doing well, also don't be afraid to speak to doctor about some help to get through this. Sending strength to you x

[Stressed out mother]

Well son received message to say meeting cancelled due to being double booked!!!!
I have therefore sent email to original solicitor to ask him to look into this as we are extremely concerned. He replied within five minutes promising to find out what was happening.
I had a meltdown at weekend, OK maybe some things i said to husband about his lack of support were harsh, but he is now agreeing to go to solicitor to make a statement. In his defence it's not that he doesn't care, he just never has done well at sorting out family problems etc finding g it easier leaving ng things to me, because after all I am always the one to sort things out.
We have also sent a letter to solicitor stating that he wishes to make a statement I sent it before he changed his mind!!
Hopefully we have done enough to be able to put enough doubt in her accusations.

[Goodguy]

Really sorry to hear that life isnt been kind to you during this time. I hope.your latest contactwoth the solicitor gets things back on track with the case. Were having the same issues atm, trail is same time as your sons and my partners still waiting to hear from solicitor to arrange a meeting that was meant to happen at the end of august. They also got all the possible character witnesses contact details in august and said theyd be in touch over that week. Still waiting for that. Getting worried that weve only got 8 weeks and he hasnt been through anything yet other than the time line. And dont know who is actually needed for the trail to be witness so they cant arrange their time either. Just want to be at the point where he knows what questions will be asked and to be told whether what weve found amd highlighted and screenshot is of any use as solicitor still hasnt mentioned if it will help or not.

Seems were both stuck waiting but hopefully now youll get another meeting booked that should go ahead. Keep us posted on the progress. Ill be putting my complaint on if we havnt heard by the end of the week.

[Staystrong1]

Well son received message to say meeting cancelled due to being double booked!!!!
I have therefore sent email to original solicitor to ask him to look into this as we are extremely concerned. He replied within five minutes promising to find out what was happening.
I had a meltdown at weekend, OK maybe some things i said to husband about his lack of support were harsh, but he is now agreeing to go to solicitor to make a statement. In his defence it's not that he doesn't care, he just never has done well at sorting out family problems etc finding g it easier leaving ng things to me, because after all I am always the one to sort things out.
We have also sent a letter to solicitor stating that he wishes to make a statement I sent it before he changed his mind!!
Hopefully we have done enough to be able to put enough doubt in her accusations.

Well done for getting things on track. It is imperative you are proactive and push things forward and through doubt on the FA accusation. Good too for your husband making a statement. AOmetimes you do have to be harsh to move things on it's your sons life at stake. It can be the smallest of details and evidence to cast doubt that make the difference.

Keep strong and united x

[Stressed out mother]

Further to my emailsto solicitors i got my son so send an email requesting a copy of FA statements etc. He has since received a reply saying case being passed over to another member of staff, plus he has eceived a message on his phone saying that member of staff whom he has already seen is taking over the case and that she wishes us to make an appointment for his dad to go in to see her. So far I have not received any further replies but will contact solicitors tomorrow to book hubby in for appointment, stressing of course that it cannot be cancelled at last moment!
I know for all the solicitors, barristers etc that it is just another day in the office, but this is slowly breaking our family down. Time delays seem nothing but cruel when there is no proof to be found. Plus asking people about events that dont even have a date to them and expecting everyone to know exactly where they were, what they were wearing and what was said and done is impossible!
Mind up todays weather has helped me somewhat! One accusation is that they had sex in the car in a local forest against her will..i.e. Rape. Well the months that it may or may not be should she ever decide on a fixed date are quite interesting. Between october and end jan. One month there were high winds and all roads were closed to forest due to falling trees, anoth month the forest was impossible to reach due to the heavy snow fall that didnt melt for over three weeks! Plus she reckons she was wearing shorts!!! Yes really??? Dont know about the rest of you but the lust does tend to be affected by the cold!!

[Staystrong1]

Your son is entitled to have sight of full disclosure pack from cps which will include statement and ABE interview for FA and any witnesses she may have. This is what he will need to go through with a fine tooth comb to hi lite discrepancies, especially as she spent so much time in your home your input will be important too. Hopefully you will get a meeting asap so you can find out what defence are doing, have they asked for her medical,records, counselling records or lack of etc. Keep on being proactive to help you feel as in control as you can x

[Goodguy]

When he had his pre trail hearing where you got the trail date. Did he get amy other dates given for stages. We had 3 dayes for different stages. One of these was in july and it the stage 1 pr whatever it was meant that the prosecuting side had to give the defence solicitor the stamements and other styff they plan to use and what they have that they arent using. Once the solicitor got these we were meant to uave a meeting but got them sent through email to go through as theeetings never happened.

If you had these dates given or know that the solicitor has this stuff ask them when you ring if they can email or post you a set across so you can go throufh it for them ready for when they can make a meeting. Your son has every right to have a copy and should have been given it at the earliest point to get through it and start preparing.

[Stressed out mother]

Really sorry to hear that life isnt been kind to you during this time. I hope.your latest contactwoth the solicitor gets things back on track with the case. Were having the same issues atm, trail is same time as your sons and my partners still waiting to hear from solicitor to arrange a meeting that was meant to happen at the end of august. They also got all the possible character witnesses contact details in august and said theyd be in touch over that week. Still waiting for that. Getting worried that weve only got 8 weeks and he hasnt been through anything yet other than the time line. And dont know who is actually needed for the trail to be witness so they cant arrange their time either. Just want to be at the point where he knows what questions will be asked and to be told whether what weve found amd highlighted and screenshot is of any use as solicitor still hasnt mentioned if it will help or not.

Seems were both stuck waiting but hopefully now youll get another meeting booked that should go ahead. Keep us posted on the progress. Ill be putting my complaint on if we havnt heard by the end of the week.

Well take my suggestion that you do NOT wait until the end of the week! Having rattled the cages so to speak we are at least having dialogue with the solicitors. We have been transferred to anothr solicitor who we have already had dealings with. My husband is seeing her on friday. A meeting between my son and barrister is being arranged for next week. Requests for character references are being discussed and at last i feel like someone is actually doing something!! A phone call received today lasted over half a hour and at least some concerns were addressed by myself! She made the comment that it is extremely unusual for accusations of this nature to not progress to court and she apologised for the fact that many times solicitors are so used to the process thhat they forget that in many cases they are dealing with people who have never been in this situation before and have no idea of the ways of the legal system!

I feel for you and your partner. No one who has never been through this nightmare can possibly understand the wealth of emotions that attack you. What is worse is when you start to question whether someone could and would actually lie about something this horrendous happening to them, the guilt that you feel at having these fleeting thoughts is almost worse than everything else.

But we all have to come out fighting for our corner. I will do everything within my power to clear my son and I am sure everyone else in this situation are the same.

[Goodguy]

Thank you for the advice. I emailed her as soon as i tead your post and he has a meeting next friday. Trying to think of all the questions for him to ask during it and minds vlanked up apart from witnesses and times to meet barrister etc so any advice would be great to re kick my brain into mode.

Hope your sons meeting is progressive and things finally feel like they are moving forward.

You are righr iv questioned it a million times on how a person can lie and even thought i may be veen naive in thinking it never happened cos how could anyone lie until this forum when it is clear the number of people capable of such a lie is huge. And now we have more evidence to say to read its clear ahe has issues as my partners now the 8th person shes accussed over a 4 year period. Just unlucky that shes got better at lying so this one is making it to court.

Keep us updated on your progress and just remembere a matter of weeks and this ordeal can start to be put behind you and your family as you are able to begin to move on. Keep faith and positivity the opposite will eat away at you.