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Accused but not yet charged, totally false allegation
It's always sad to see a new poster but you are in the right place for some support and it's good to see you've already had some good advice. As Bob says, have a good read through some posts and you will see that there are many that have been where you are, so you are not alone.
You might start here with Casehardened's guide if you haven't already -
The general advice is yes, don't ever trust the police. They are not always nasty two faced turds but don't take that chance! To be fair, they get a hard time from the anti rape industry, rape and consent being particularly difficult to prove, so they sometimes look for advantages.
Sounds like they were trying to take advantage of your shocked state to interview you without a solicitor but also sounds like you did ok. It's usually best to answer questions and not bluff if you can't remember.
As RF says if they want to speak to you again, or if you want to speak to them, get a decent solicitor. RF took me under her protective wing almost 2 years ago now and I can guarantee you that if she can recommend a solicitor in your area they will be top notch.
Writing down events in a chronological order, keeping a notebook with you for moments of inspiration, and stalking the accusers social media and taking screenshots is all standard advice, as is carrying on with your routine, eating well and exercising, getting help from your doctor if you feel you need it, carefully choosing some support from family and friends and talking rather than bottling things up. We are here to listen.
It is something of a mantra in the groups that you prepare for the worst and hope for the best but I would emphasise the hope. Over 80% of all cases don't go beyond the investigation stage.
Keep posting for support
Thank you very much Peter. I feel that until as and when I am charged I cannot let my family know. It would destroy my mum and she is already not in the way of health. Having her worry for possibly a very long time would have potentially serious health consequences, and it might all be for nothing.
Having said that I'm getting counselling, and have the support and calm positivity of a couple of close mates.
sorry let me clear up what i meant as i think it has come across the wrong way!
i googled cases where consent and intoxication is the main issue - the lead case is Benjamin Bree... and there are a lot of these cases may i add there was consent in my case without being too public, but at the end of the day you don't sign contracts do you!
without hijacking someones thread with my details... once charged its a long road of trying to clear your name and now another 6 months before trial whilst each day trying to remain sane, going out and resuming life and putting on a smile without anyone knowing what you are going though apart from a small handful of people. Hence not much update really!
Hi Bob, I think about you a lot and wonder what is happening with your trial etc, Do please keep the forum updated with how it all goes. Once we see all the 'bananas' I will be so happy for you, but if it all just goes quiet I always imagine the worst has happened.
You mentioned in your post that you researched 'consent ' . I never asked my girl if she was agreeable to sex, it was obvious to me that she was up for it, she had been flirting with me all night, and one of the party goers had seen us kissing earlier in the evening , our flirting could not be too 'open' as my GF was at the party too ( I know that makes me seem bad but that is what happened) I don't think I have actually asked a girl if she was OK with sex, but of course I only ever had sex with someone that also wanted it
Last edited by Casehardened; 21 September 2017, 08:34 PM.
Reason: repairing quote
Sorry if i came across as judgemental that's the last thing you need at the moment and wasn't intended to seem that way
You're not, don't worry. I can actually feel the compassion, lack of judgement and calm objectivity coming off the page.
The thing that struck me today is this: I enjoy my life. I love my job and the people I work with. I'm not perfect but I believe I'm considerate and try to consider others.
This accusation is simply not true, for reasons I've roughly outlined above.
The thought of doing that to someone is simply anathema to me.
If this rings true to others here, and I bet it does, then:
For the moment, at this very moment, what right does she have to ruin my life? At the moment, none at all. There is an investigation. That sucks and I believe and hope they will quickly find the right answer.
But until they do, it's my and all of your lives, and you have every right to keep it going as it was.
Of course I think about it every day. But in fact I think you owe it to yourself to keep going.
Hi Dinasour, I am glad you found this site, you will definitely get all the help and advice you might need!
Initially I was going to suggest that you come clean with your mrs...
However you state you are at risk of losing everything including a roof over your head...so i can completely understand why you haven't told her!
I think you have accepted that this is now happening, and I feel this is very important in such matters (it's so easy to try and pretend its not real!)
You say you're in the NW?
If you ever want to chat I am also up that part of the world so I am happy to chat!
Also my solicitor was a lady from Burton Copeland Manchester called Louise Straw....I hope it doesn't go that far, but if it does, there is nobody better at these cases imo!!
Those three letters are the greatest in the alphabet.
To my complete relief, I had a call from the police (actually in late November, a mere 2 months after interview) to tell me that was to be no further action.
I’m sorry I didn’t get on here earlier. I was dealing with the aftermath, trying to put my life back together, plus I managed to forget my login...
I want to thank everyone on here for their help and support. You were there in a very dark hour and I’ll always be grateful.
Thanks for updating the forum with this great result for you, it's always good for those still in the process to hear of NFA's and encouraging that a decision was made in a relatively short time frame.
This experience will always be with you but you will be able to move on......please accept the traditional bananas
Fantastical news! What a great relief for you and so pleased the result you were waiting for wasn't dragged on for eternity, it gives others going through this terrible ordeal hope.
It will take time for you to get back to some normality but you will get there.
Look forward to a brighter future.
Fantastic news. I'm so glad that you got a conclusion so quickly and hope that your life is getting back on track.
Thank you for updating us - better late than never and we are so buoyed by good news. We love handing out bananas!
'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!
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