An awful two and a half years but...

[wewillbeather]

NFA!!

I am a new poster although I've been reading for some time and many of the stories posted have given me hope or at least perspective!

My partner was accused of horrendous historical child sex abuse. I don't want to go into massive detail here. It was a blatantly false allegation for lots of reasons but obviously had to be investigated with police interviews, probes into his medical records etc. She gave many hours of so called "evidence" to the police.

This started in early 2015, went to the CPS in May 2016 and finally we have been told NFA. Of course she's gone for a Victims right to review but we're hoping that will go through quickly and in our favour.

Swinging between euphoria, extreme anger, tears and relief.

But just thought I'd post a story of hope. Its been an horrendous 2 and a half years but it did finally come to an end. There were days it was all I could think about, days I feared that I'd be left by myself with the children while he was in some awful prison for something he NEVER did. I jumped everytime someone knocked on the door or the phone rung. It was only when we were told NFA that I realised I'd felt perpetually ill for all that time. NOW we want the police to investigate her for perverting the course of justice but from all I've seen posted here its unlikely to happen - why does she just get to walk away after trying to destroy my partners life, break up our family and all those lies and waste of public money.... why?

[lazy lass]

Hi, well done on the NFA brilliant news.
I think we would all like to see false accusers to suffer as much as those being accused do, it's an horrific time and the length of time it takes for a positive result seems endless.
I hope you and your family can move on and put this nightmare behind you.

The best revenge is success.
I think you deserve some of these

[Rights Fighter]

YAYYYYYYY!

[Peter1975]

Thanks for posting this good news.

I hope you can all start to move forward soon. Here are the customary dancing banana's, it certainly sounds like you've earned them.

[Franticwithworry]

What great news. Unfortunately, it's always tempered by the fact that there are no consequences for those who make false accusations, but I hope you can begin to recover from this dreadful ordeal.

[Casehardened]

Uplifting news is always welcome so thanks for coming along and posting.

This episode will indeed be a life-changing experience for you both and 'Why?' is a common reaction.........

[Staystrong1]

Hi there

Well done for posting and coming through the horrific ordeal,of a FA, mirrors exactly how we felt. 2 years on life has moved on and I certainly never take life for granted. You will be stronger for it and put it behind you.

[can it get worse]

Glad that you finally took the plunge of posting.

Great news for you

You have lived through an unimaginable experience. It takes such strength to get through it but you've done it. Well done..... Now you can start with the recovery. I wish you well.

[wewillbeather]

Thank you all for replying - not surprised "why" is a common response.

Partner is desperate for the police to to start a perverting course of justice enquiry. Part of me wants to let it go part of me is as desperate for revenge as he is. Has anyone managed to get that far? All we know at the moment is that the police will review the file and consider whether to take further action. What does that actually mean? Are they just stalling and hoping we'll go away, is it normal procedure - or should be be taking a tiny tiny grain of hope?

Any guidance or experience would be appreciated. I've seen the statistics - really I don't think we've got a hope and the f*cking b*tch is going to walk away and laugh over the fact she's ruined over 2 years of our lives and more importantly those of our children. I will never ever ever forgive her. I am amazed how violent I feel not that I'd lower myself to doing anything. I am not normally a violent person...

Thought I'd be over the moon but feel absolutely flat how long will this take to sink in? How long before we are not on high alert all the time? How long before a knock at the door or a phone call wont make us physically react?

[Franticwithworry]

Don't think badly of yourself for wanting 'revenge', because it isn't really that you want, is it, it's consequences and those are a perfectly reasonable thing to want. After all, we teach our children that there are consequences to actions, good and bad. It's galling to know that there are consequences in life for lies - unless you lie about a sexual offence. Many think, and I agree, that the only things worse to be accused of are murder and torture.

It's unlikely for an investigation for PCJ to be forthcoming, and goodness knows what the police mean by 'a review', but what might be cathartic is for you and your husband to write your experience down, anonymising everything. Many campaigns have taken place over the years to highlight this issue but I don't think that should put campaigners off. Its my intention to collect those stories from anyone willing to send them to me and to begin canvassing MP's and the Minister of Justice and any other relevant MP's with those stories and mine in an effort to make them take notice.

Of course I have to wait until our own ordeal is over, but that's my intention at this point.

As for when all this will settle, it seems to vary from person to person and family to family. Expect a bit more of a roller coaster in terms of emotions, but things DO get better in time, there are people on this forum long past their ordeal who can verify that. Never forgiving her is reasonable and sensible - after all you don't want to run the risk of her dreaming up something else if she so feels like it. We will never have contact with any of the people who made the accusations or supported the accusers. It's not worth the risk.

Hang in there. It does get better and this episode will eventually be part of your past.

[wewillbeather]

In time I think I'll be able to write more. Sadly I suspect you're right about the PCJ. Thank you for reminding me its consequences not revenge I want - you're right just can't think rationally at the moment. Fury is a very stong emotion isn't it?

Just had an email from a (now ex) family friend who said "they didn't say he hadn't done it just that they don't have enough evidence so he's still a paedophile"

When will people understand that the so called "victim's" statements form part of the evidence - and in some cases they're the only evidence. Why does "I didn't' do it" seem to attract less weight in people's minds than "he did it"

I could say "Fred Bloggs kidnapped me dragged me up Ben Nevis and raped me" give lots of descriptions of him, make up lots of information and the police would have to investigate -even though I've never actually met Fred Bloggs or been up Ben Nevis. The point is the mud would stick

[Franticwithworry]

In time I think I'll be able to write more. Sadly I suspect you're right about the PCJ. Thank you for reminding me its consequences not revenge I want - you're right just can't think rationally at the moment. Fury is a very stong emotion isn't it?

Just had an email from a (now ex) family friend who said "they didn't say he hadn't done it just that they don't have enough evidence so he's still a paedophile"

When will people understand that the so called "victim's" statements form part of the evidence - and in some cases they're the only evidence. Why does "I didn't' do it" seem to attract less weight in people's minds than "he did it"

I could say "Fred Bloggs kidnapped me dragged me up Ben Nevis and raped me" give lots of descriptions of him, make up lots of information and the police would have to investigate -even though I've never actually met Fred Bloggs or been up Ben Nevis. The point is the mud would stick

Your ex friend needs to look up the definition of a paedophile and understand that not having enough evidence doesn't mean that he did anything wrong. When a crime didn't happen and the written evidence (the statement of the accuser) has been invented, he's still innocent. with friends like that, who needs enemies? :-(

The 'the victim has the right to be believed' nonsense drives me crazy. The victim is a complainant until a guilty verdict has been entered, and the accused has as much right to be believed as anyone. Grrr!

Fury, anger, rage - they are all powerful and will destroy us if we let them. That said those are perfectly normal reactions to this wholly abnormal situation. Unfortunately, everything isn't sweetness and light as soon as the matter is resolved legally. There's a recovery process too that may take some time. Hang in there though, you are on the home straight and we are here for as long as you need us.

[Aidy]

Great news!!!!