Drunk

[imsam]

I am sorry as I am sure this info is somewhere on this forum, but I have not found it.
My Question

If you are both drunk on the occasion that you have sex with the FA ( we were at a party and both had consensual sex over night at the end of the evening) I told the arresting police at the station that we had both had a lot to drink, but she did agree to sex, I don't think she actually said she agreed, but she was well up for it, we had been kissing etc all night ( not in the main party area as my partner was at the party, she went to bed early but she had friends there) although someone has said they saw us kissing in another room earlier .

I have the feeling that I have read somewhere that if the girl is VERY VERY drunk they take the view that she was too drunk to know what she was doing and could not have consented. She was drunk but NOT that drunk , she knew completely what was happening and showed she enjoyed it. But I don't know what she said about her condition. I feel she will say she was completely drunk and I took advantage of her. I think she said what she did in the morning about me forcing her was because my partner 'knew' something had occurred between us, and she said what she did to save face .

I keep hoping that the long wait for a decision will make her decide not to press charges as she has a new BF now and is very 'loved up' with him ( I don't know if she has told the new BF about this or not)

This waiting is driving me crazy . I had thought when they stopped bailing me, it was a good sign, but I realise now from reading on here that hardly anyone is on bail for rape now, due to the new law ( although my case was before the new law came in) I have also read that sometimes the OIC cannot decide and he and the CPS think...'let the courts decide '

Thanks for any help you give me
Imsam

[Franticwithworry]

Hi there. I'm sorry to tell you this but it isn't up to her to press charges or not. The CPS decide, not even the OIC, though I think he can make a recommendation, and they can still go ahead with a prosecution regardless of what she thinks. That said, you have good evidence, it seems, if I've remembered what you've said before correctly, in terms of other witnesses at the party who will be able to contradict her version of how drunk she was.

You won't really know exactly what she is saying unless you are charged and you get to see her statement, but please, try not to fret. It's long and tortuous wait, but there is still every possibility that there will be an NFA.

[Peter1975]

It is up to the prosecution to prove that you did not have a reasonable belief that she was consenting. Drunken consent is still consent.

https://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/...consent_v2.pdf


Although the decision to press charges is nothing to do with the FA she can decide not to cooperate with the prosecution or just not turn up to court which would make it extremely unlikely any trial would go ahead. There are probably hundreds of trials abandoned in this way every year but the vast majority of complaints, around 80%, are not prosecuted at all.

Try and keep busy and keep taking screenshots of social media just in case. Write down as much detail from the night that you can remember if you haven't done so already. There is always plenty of hope.

[Bob1234]

hi there,

sorry to see you find yourself in this situation. your case is similar to mine to some extent whereby alcohol is involved. Mine resulted in a charge, and i am yet to see the evidence for it as it is just fresh. I have met down with the team that will be representing me for an initial meeting and did put forward that intoxication plays a part, does this have any impact on me as an accused and her as a victim (less credible?). This may not be so relevant as its the consent issue, however as mentioned I am yet to see all the evidence which will be soon, so i could maybe update you further on how much of an impact it plays then.

unfortunately i am going to sound negative here. I would expect a charge. Simply due to the fact it is word against word unless there is any evidence that clears you or even backs the charge. I hope you have wrote everything down from the night in question as it will help you down the line, as it can be months down the line where you could get possibly charged.

There are a lot of cases whereby alcohol does play a part - a simple google search can bring these up. I hope that helps somewhat, but as always this is just my opinion and someone more experienced may disagree.

Bob

[imsam]

Thank you very much Peter & Bob , its hard to explain how much comfort one gets from someone 'out there' a stranger taking the time to help you and especially one who understands the hell you are living in.

I am going to read your story now Bob, we can go through this together

When was your arrest? ( just trying to gauge how far ahead of me you are )

The link you posted Peter was very helpful, in my case I feel that the description of consent would help me EXCEPT the bit about changing your mind after sex has started. She did not change her mind, but she could always say she did . I believe she lied about it all because she was ashamed next morning about what we had done, and her excuse was that I had made her do it.

The long wait is just unbearable at times and its only been 8 months so far.

[imsam]

I couldn't find your story Bob 1234, all I could find were the replies you made to others. How do I get to see your story?

Also does anyone know if they interview the girl again before they finally make a decision whether to go ahead or not? I did hear that if there is a long time between the arrest and their decision ,they usually do interview her again, even if its only over the phone. Does anyone know what is the normal procedure?

Thanks for any help
Imsam

[Peter1975]

Bob's thread is here:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...alsely-accused


There is no real answer to your question, there may be a reason for them to question her again such as discrepancies from her first interview or the cps requesting more information but then again there may not, she may volunteer more information on her own. Try not to drive yourself mad wondering about things that you can have no idea about, I know the waiting is torture but it will be over at some point and you won't get this time back.

[Bob1234]

Hi Imsam,

i see you've found my thread and thank you for your comment in there.

I'm sorry if i was blunt /negative with my response to you so please don't take it the wrong way. the only reason i said that was from my own experience. Since the night in question and being questioned i expected an NFA each day via email/phone any method because i knew i didn't do anything wrong. So when they decided to charge i broke down and was scared.

What i am trying to say as many other senior people in this forum have is just to expect the worst, so it may be less of a shock. i know that is so hard to do, but plan who u would like to represent you just in case etc. i do hope you get an NFA and keep posting here because there will be others down the line who will require help.

Bob

[imsam]

You are never blunt or negative Bob, always helpful and supportive..


How's it going for you?

I'm still not clear about the 'being drunk' situation...is it correct that if the girl says she was VERY drunk, then she cannot have given consent?

Does the girl have to actually say, yes I give you consent , or can the fact that they seem to be enjoying the sex and are not saying stop or No that's ok?



Things seem so biased against us don't they?