Total Shock I can't cope

[Franticwithworry]

That all sounds really good and as if your solicitor is on the ball with it all. Of course, there are no guarantees, but I am really hopeful for you. You're very wise not to put too much on a public forum, but there's enough there and be assured that there are more people browsing these threads than there are commenting, so there will be lots of others rooting for you I'm sure.

It can take the CPS ages to make a decision and if the Family Court has already, in the meantime, made the decision to locate and even return the children to you, that will surely go well for you. I know that there are horror stories and courts are scary places, but remember tomorrow that you have not done anything wrong and you are asking the court to put right a wrong. I hope that you get the best possible solution tomorrow as a first step in getting your children home and these horrible accusations into the past.

[Nosleepforweeks]

That all sounds really good and as if your solicitor is on the ball with it all. Of course, there are no guarantees, but I am really hopeful for you. You're very wise not to put too much on a public forum, but there's enough there and be assured that there are more people browsing these threads than there are commenting, so there will be lots of others rooting for you I'm sure.

It can take the CPS ages to make a decision and if the Family Court has already, in the meantime, made the decision to locate and even return the children to you, that will surely go well for you. I know that there are horror stories and courts are scary places, but remember tomorrow that you have not done anything wrong and you are asking the court to put right a wrong. I hope that you get the best possible solution tomorrow as a first step in getting your children home and these horrible accusations into the past.

Thanks.

I am sorry that I have not been much help on other threads. This whole state of affairs is making me ill. I've lost so much weight, and I cannot eat or sleep. The motive is so clear that my ex partner of 3 years said this to save her skin and counter the genuine domestic violence report I made, for which I had clear visable bruises, and she got NFA'd for it. My solicitor has asked for a reconsideration into the DV from her to me. She lied through her teeth and said one event took place in 2014 in the SAME first month I met her. Then she accuses me of 2 other events in May and june this year. The truth is that the physical attraction from me started to diminish around a year ago, and i needed to take medication to get aroused (this can be proven by my GP records), as she would demand intercourse 4 or 5 times a week. I could barely manage 2 with medication. I stayed with her for the kids, and because when she wasn't in a rage, she was OK to get along with as friends. I came from a broken family and didn't want our kids to experience that.

The high court granted my solicitor a location order for my kids, and there is another hearing next week where my children's mother will be present. I just don't see how I'll get custody of my kids with these allegations, despite not being charged or bailed. I have a lot of evidence from professionals and proof of her alcohol/pills abuse, which usually would give me a good chance at getting custody of my 2 kids. I still don't know where they are, and I'm shocked that the local authority let her just take them and not arrange contact with me. When she was in custody for GBH and I had the kids, they didn't offer me a 'confidential address' but they did with her.

I have a solicitor and a barrister fighting my corner for the family case, and a well known lawyer/barrister (Robert Brg) fighting my case on the criminal front, even though I have not been charged.

I cannot lose my kids. My ex cannot look after them properly. She's neglected 2 of her other kids but that doesn't count as 'previous' in the family courts apparently.

Just got a sinking feeling I'll lose my kids and get charged from her patchy untrue statement. This is HELL

[Franticwithworry]

There's no pressure to help others. You have quite enough on your plate at the moment.

Please look after yourself. I know the worry is debilitating, but you need to keep yourself in as good health as you can. Make sure you eat regularly, even if you don't feel like it. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for temporary help sleeping if needs be.

Ask for some mental health help if needs be - there's no shame in asking for help dealing with something as traumatic as this. Things are going really well for you right now, so please try to hold on to that. A Location Order is a big step and achievement, and as you say, you have lots of evidence. There is more chance that the lies will be seen for what they are than not, so keep holding on to that thought, prepare well with the help if your legal team and we are all rooting for you here.

[Nosleepforweeks]

There's no pressure to help others. You have quite enough on your plate at the moment.

Please look after yourself. I know the worry is debilitating, but you need to keep yourself in as good health as you can. Make sure you eat regularly, even if you don't feel like it. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for temporary help sleeping if needs be.

Ask for some mental health help if needs be - there's no shame in asking for help dealing with something as traumatic as this. Things are going really well for you right now, so please try to hold on to that. A Location Order is a big step and achievement, and as you say, you have lots of evidence. There is more chance that the lies will be seen for what they are than not, so keep holding on to that thought, prepare well with the help if your legal team and we are all rooting for you here.

OK so today there were further developments

She (The FA, my ex) called my Mother to ask where I was and how I was and if I want the children. She then kept calling my mobile to which I didn't answer.

Then she called my home phone and I answered as I didn't know who it was. She said she couldn't cope with the kids and that she was 'ill' I said I don't want her coming to this address as she's caused me great pain and stress through her FA, and that if this wen't to court she faces being exposed for her lies. She was silent.

She asked if I want to see the kids, I said that I'm going through the official legal channels to do that, and that shes due in court next week. I then hung up.

Then she calls again. I told her that I do not want to speak to her and if she wants to contact me then she needs to go through my lawyer. I could hear another woman in the background directing her what to say. She was asking when court date was and what time, and then handed the phone over to this mystery woman who said she works with social services and asked if we could come to an amicable agreement about me seeing the kids. I explained that I was pursuing official legal channels and as she's made FA's against me, I do not wish to see her unless it's in court. This mystery woman also said that the kids are being looked after well and that my ex is doing it all on her own. Yeah right.



My gut feeling is that she's got herself into a women's refuge through her lies. This mystery woman said she'll be representing her at court. But if I'm her attacker so to speak then why is she blowing up my phone all afternoon? Why would a 'social worker' tell her what to say on the phone? I reported it to 101 for harrassment. I doubt it'll go anywhere as this whole affair has been one sided from the start.

If she's in a refuge then that's just crazy. She's not been a victim of crime at all. And no doubt she'll be felt sorry for.

[Franticwithworry]

Goodness me, she seems to be handing you evidence on a plate. The fact that she's got herself and the children not a refuge, apparently, might get her lots of sympathy, but it won't interfere with the legal outcome.

A social worker being with her and speaking for her on a Sunday seems a little odd too. I think you've responded appropriately and whether or not the report for harassment has any result, it's part of the sequence of events and is on record.

No doubt your legal team will have an opinion and advice when you bring them up-to-date with these developments. I'm glad to see the you have a healthy dose of scepticism in there. Here's wishing you lots more progress this coming week. :-)

[Nosleepforweeks]

Goodness me, she seems to be handing you evidence on a plate. The fact that she's got herself and the children not a refuge, apparently, might get her lots of sympathy, but it won't interfere with the legal outcome.

A social worker being with her and speaking for her on a Sunday seems a little odd too. I think you've responded appropriately and whether or not the report for harassment has any result, it's part of the sequence of events and is on record.

No doubt your legal team will have an opinion and advice when you bring them up-to-date with these developments. I'm glad to see the you have a healthy dose of scepticism in there. Here's wishing you lots more progress this coming week. :-)

She sure does. She told me she can't cope with the kids. But I don't understand how my family solicitor seems so confident I'll get custody of my kids with these false allegations hanging over my head. Yes I wasn't charged or bailed, and I answered all questions in police interview and even provided evidence that I have issues with finding my ex attractive so to speak, and I needed medication to satisfy her demands. That's all on my GP records.

But surely the family courts will think well what if he's charged then it wouldn't be a good idea to give him the kids? But I do have video, letter, and photographic evidence proving that she neglects the kids. Plus she's abandoned her 2 other kids. All on file.

But just can't see how I'll get custody and can't understand my solicitor's confidence.

[Franticwithworry]

You're thinking in terms of 'if there's been an accusation there must be an issue' and 'no smoke without fire'. The Family Court is supposed to look at the whole picture and not work on 'what-if's' and your solicitor may be confident because he knows the court and the judges well together with how they might rule.

True, he doesnt have a crystal ball and can't predict the outcome for certain so it's important to prepare well and be sure he has everything possible to present your case, but don't be despondent yet. The family court is interested in the best interests of the children. The false accusations relate to an adult so it's entirely possible that the court will take the view that you are not a danger to children, so all things considered, your children are better off with you, their father, for the time being at least.

Think positive and have all you need in place for them to be home. Be prepared for Welfare Reports and/or to be asked lots of questions as to how you will cope with 2 babies, and you never know, common sense might just be present at the hearing. :-)

They are, after all YOUR children and you sound like a good, loving and caring parent. That's what they need and the Family Court's priority is to see they get what they need.

[Nosleepforweeks]

You're thinking in terms of 'if there's been an accusation there must be an issue' and 'no smoke without fire'. The Family Court is supposed to look at the whole picture and not work on 'what-if's' and your solicitor may be confident because he knows the court and the judges well together with how they might rule.

True, he doesnt have a crystal ball and can't predict the outcome for certain so it's important to prepare well and be sure he has everything possible to present your case, but don't be despondent yet. The family court is interested in the best interests of the children. The false accusations relate to an adult so it's entirely possible that the court will take the view that you are not a danger to children, so all things considered, your children are better off with you, their father, for the time being at least.

Think positive and have all you need in place for them to be home. Be prepared for Welfare Reports and/or to be asked lots of questions as to how you will cope with 2 babies, and you never know, common sense might just be present at the hearing. :-)

They are, after all YOUR children and you sound like a good, loving and caring parent. That's what they need and the Family Court's priority is to see they get what they need.

BREAKTHROUGH

But I'm still not counting my chickens. She's informed me that she contacted the police to say she was lying about the allegations, she's been in contact with my solicitor to arrange for me to pick the kids up after 6pm tonight, and bring them home in my care. She says she's ill and can't cope.

If it's true then it's massive news. My criminal sol is chasing the police for confirmation that she admitted lying, and he said she could be charged with PCJ if true.

I'm literally shaking. I hope this is true.

[Franticwithworry]

I hope so too. If it's true and it pans out as it should, this is wonderful. Dont pin too many hopes on her being prosecuted though. Just because it can happen doesn't mean it will. The important thing for the moment is to get your children home, where they belong and for you to be able to tuck them up in their own beds tonight having given them a big hug. The biggest ever.

I have everything crossed for you.

[lazy lass]

This news seems very promising, hopefully things are going to be resolved quickly and you can look after your very lucky children.
You seem a doting loving father and deserve to have your children and spare them any more heartache.
Good luck,fingers crossed that the positive and uplifting news just keeps coming.
God bless you and your children

[Nosleepforweeks]

This news seems very promising, hopefully things are going to be resolved quickly and you can look after your very lucky children.
You seem a doting loving father and deserve to have your children and spare them any more heartache.
Good luck,fingers crossed that the positive and uplifting news just keeps coming.
God bless you and your children

Thanks.

Now confirmed by solicitor that I'm picking the children up tonight. 3 Hour drive each way. The police will no doubt take ages to confirm the lies to my solicitor and take ages to return my mobile. GRRR

One step at a time. Thanks guys, I'll keep you posted.

[Franticwithworry]

I have bananas waiting.

[Nosleepforweeks]

I have bananas waiting.

Haha

The children are home safe and sound. Their mother (the FA) looked quite unwell. Mixed emotions really, it has not been an easy time but I can't allow myself to feel sorry for her after what she put me through.

Still no official confirmation that she formally withdrew her FA. Maybe half a banana for now

[Franticwithworry]

Haha

The children are home safe and sound. Their mother (the FA) looked quite unwell. Mixed emotions really, it has not been an easy time but I can't allow myself to feel sorry for her after what she put me through.

Still no official confirmation that she formally withdrew her FA. Maybe half a banana for now

Fantastic news!! And your feelings towards their mother are perfectly understandable.

I'm not uncrossing anything until you get that confirmation, but tonight is at least a partial victory. I hope that you are sleeping soundly, at least tonight.

[lazy lass]

Brilliant news!!
So pleased you have your children safely with you. Hope you and they are coping, the children's mother obviously needs professional help.
You have done amazingly well, been very level headed and put the welfare of your children before the false allegations, now they are in your safe environment I hope the latter issues fizzle out and you get the result we are all waiting for, fingers are hovering over the banana buttons.
Today will be a new day.