Total Shock I can't cope

[Casehardened]

As FWW mentioned in post #6 there is a thread* in the 'Useful Information' section of the forum detailing members recommendations for solicitors experienced in this field; many of these will take on legally aided cases and importantly apply for this on your behalf.

Do bear in mind though that legal aid can't be applied for unless you are charged with the offence so it would be unfair on them and other clients to expect more than a brief introductory interview.

* http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

[Nosleepforweeks]

As FWW mentioned in post #6 there is a thread* in the 'Useful Information' section of the forum detailing members recommendations for solicitors experienced in this field; many of these will take on legally aided cases and importantly apply for this on your behalf.

Do bear in mind though that legal aid can't be applied for unless you are charged with the offence so it would be unfair on them and other clients to expect more than a brief introductory interview.

* http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

Thanks. It's true, I have not been charged and I understand that my ex partner was not charged for the GBH. What is my best course of action now? To speak with social services? My concern is why have my children been allowed back into the care of a violent mother, that the risk was managed incredibly poorly and that she should be facing arrest for wasting police time and perverting the course of justice. I know the latter takes time. Meanwhile I am living in the family home which is too big for just one person. She is still on the tenancy agreement. I will not know anything further until I see the social worker this week. And if I do have to leave this property (it's local authority) then given the stigma attached to my partners false allegations I'll be put in some dump where there are unsavoury characters.

[Casehardened]

*Fortunately* I've not had to have any interaction with SS so I'm reluctant to offer advice on what you should do, I'm still hoping other members who have had dealings with them will offer support.

Instinctively though, were I in your position and bearing in mind that SS should be acting in the best interests of the children, I would list all the reasons why they should not reside with their mother.

Wait for them to contact you and suggest a meeting. Explain you are concerned about the children's welfare giving your reasons. If you could suggest anyone else they could stay with apart from yourself or your partner this might be an acceptable solution and mean you would have easier access to them.

[Nosleepforweeks]

*Fortunately* I've not had to have any interaction with SS so I'm reluctant to offer advice on what you should do, I'm still hoping other members who have had dealings with them will offer support.

Instinctively though, were I in your position and bearing in mind that SS should be acting in the best interests of the children, I would list all the reasons why they should not reside with their mother.

Wait for them to contact you and suggest a meeting. Explain you are concerned about the children's welfare giving your reasons. If you could suggest anyone else they could stay with apart from yourself or your partner this might be an acceptable solution and mean you would have easier access to them.

When I was arrested for the false allegations I made these concerns very clear to the police. I suggested they stay with my Mum. But that didn't happen. They ended up going back to their mother. And now the social services won't tell me where they are.

I'm supposed to be meeting social services this week, after they've met the kids and my partner. My gut feeling isn't good about the type of access I'll be granted. And then there's the family home, which is local authority. My partner has not returned here and now has the kids. So I'll probably end up moving into a studio flat eventually, with no room for the kids to stay in future. I was safeguarding my children away from their violent mother, and this is what happens, I lose them. I'm not bothered about losing her at all, as the way she has tried to frame me is unforgivable.

Not sure if I should speak to a solicitor now even though not charged or bailed,for the family side of things and for the false allegation side of things. This could go on for months, it's not like the police return your phone the next day.

I stopped work as I was caring for my kids full time. My ex partner would just lay on the floor doing nothing. Now this will be on my DBS, I've no chance of working in the field I'm qualified in.

[Casehardened]

Now this will be on my DBS, I've no chance of working in the field I'm qualified in.

Your arrest will be on the PNC but I don't think goes on your DBS.

Would you be required to declare the arrest & investigation when applying for a new job?

[Nosleepforweeks]

Your arrest will be on the PNC but I don't think goes on your DBS.

Would you be required to declare the arrest & investigation when applying for a new job?

Yep. And then what about the house I live in. It's a 3 bed family home. No way can I stay here long term if the kids are not with me. It's too big. Reading statistics online doesn't help either. Not guilty men get sent down for this sort of thing. Just from one woman's statement. Can't help but think the writings on the wall for me, despite being innocent. They've got my mobile phone right now, that's about it. They won't find anything connected to the false allegations on there. All that's on there is conversations between me and my family, and some banter with a friend or two.

But I can't help but worry that life will never be the same again. I'll carry this dirty stigma around with me wherever I go.

[Casehardened]

At this stage it is natural to expect the worst and imagine all the 'what-ifs' and nothing anyone says will help but in time, a bit like toothache, you will get used to it.

The bottom line though is, before you can be sent down, is that (a) you have to be charged and (b) twelve average citizens have to hear what you have just told us and then still be convinced of your guilt.

You are probably right in that this allegation will colour your future life, not in the sense that others will remember it, it'll soon be yesterdays news, but more a wariness of opening yourself to another accusation.

[Peter1975]

Hello Nosleep,

Lots of good advice above here, write everything down in a chronological order, keep a notebook with you for when you suddenly remember anything else and see if you can spy on her social media for any incriminating posts.

Her history suggests that you have a lot in your favour that will stand you in good stead for the battle to come and you are already experienced in dealing with SS and the law so you can have some confidence that the authorities will see through this.

There are two cases here as far as I can see. You don't really need a criminal solicitor at this stage as you haven't been charged and probably won't be but Harvey Fox is the man you need to ring if you are charged or you can come up with some evidence that would persuade the police to end their investigation.

http://www.freemanssolicitors.net/si...ile/harvey_fox

The bit I am less sure about is the legal aid for a family law solicitor but as you have been the victim of DV and you have made the woman known to SS this should hopefully be granted. You mention above that you would need proof of the DV for legal aid, I believe your doctor may charge you for a letter to this effect but the police should provide some proof. SS will request it for starters as background for their own investigation. Have you contacted the victim support service that should be dealing with the GBH case? Otherwise you can make a subject access request to the police legal department and also to SS to see what information they have about you.

[Nosleepforweeks]

At this stage it is natural to expect the worst and imagine all the 'what-ifs' and nothing anyone says will help but in time, a bit like toothache, you will get used to it.

The bottom line though is, before you can be sent down, is that (a) you have to be charged and (b) twelve average citizens have to hear what you have just told us and then still be convinced of your guilt.

You are probably right in that this allegation will colour your future life, not in the sense that others will remember it, it'll soon be yesterdays news, but more a wariness of opening yourself to another accusation.

Then the sensible side of me says,

I reported her to the police because I had enough of the domesic violence, on the advice of childrens social services, I was covered in bruises, because I don't hit back and she knows some martial arts, she attacked me with a meat cleaver but missed. She also beat me in January, also in front of the kids

Police go to arrest her and safeguard the children with me. She's fled the house, passports gone, kids gone, almost everything gone. Now theres a warrant out for her arrest.

5 hours later Police return, still no sign of her. She's now logged as nationally missing along with my 2 kids.

She returns the next day, kids extremely distressed. I call 999 and she's arrested for attempted GBH

She's released, I get no notification by police that she's been released. I'm calling the police like mad to ask how they are going to manage the risk.

2days later still no sign

Then 4 police officers arrive at my door, took my kids, and the false accusations (3 counts of rape) are read out to me.

The first allegation apparently happened in the month we met. I also discovered she sold her body back then, as well as being a beauty therapist. But despite this allegation, she stays with me nearly 3 years and has 2 kids with me. Bit strange, don't you think?

The second and third allegations were apparently in May and June 2017. By this time in all honesty, I didn't fancy her that much anymore and I had to secretly use viagra to keep up with her sexual demands of 4-5 times a week. I could only manage 2 ON VIAGRA. Again, I was playing the happy family and as I came from a broken family I tried all I could to keep ours together, despite the issues we had.

We'd disagree on certain things, and when she kept threatening to take the kids and leave me I said I'd go to court and fight for my rights. That's all it took to set her off on a violent rage.

And she made all of this up after being arrested for GBH on me, which I had evidence by bruising and grab marks.

Funny how she never reported any of this before. BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED.

[Franticwithworry]

I know it's really hard to not have 'what-if's' running through your hear 24/7, but honestly crossing bridges before you get to them will drive you round the bend.

Try, if you can, to look at one thing at a time and concentrate on what you have going for you. Firstly, the DV was from her on you and that is already documented. Yes, the false allegations are a new investigation, but the two are connected in that she has come up with these claims as a response to being questioned about DV on you. Peter1975 is right in that you might be eligible for Family Legal Aid given that she has been violent towards you and if you were already close to getting custody of your children, isn't there a Social Worker involved already? I doubt that they will put that process entirely to one side in the light of the new investigation. They will bring the 2 together at some point, hopefully soon. Couldn't you talk to the Social Worker dealing with your custody application sooner rather than later and without having to wait for the Social worker in the new investigation to contact you first?

It can be argued that your partner's current behaviour makes custody for you more likely not less, given all the other things that your partner has done including losing other children for neglect. As for your house, losing that is a way down the road and you will need it if you are in fact awarded custody. As I said before, you don't need a criminal lawyer yet as you haven't been charged - and may not be, though a chat with one might put your mind at rest.

You do need to talk to a Family Law lawyer, and as I've said if you getting custody was on the cards and in process, you need to talk to the Social Workers dealing with that ASAP. A False Accusation won't necessarily put the kybosh on that even though it will likely hold it up. Hang in there and try not to let all the possibilities overwhelm you. Worst case scenario is a long way off, and as you say, the safety of your children is of prime importance. Finding out what is going to happen to your custody application is a good place to start. Your partner isn't doing herself any favours, given her history, but it will take a while to untangle.

As I said, if there is a Social Worker involved already because you were applying for custody, that would be a good place to start.

[Nosleepforweeks]

I know it's really hard to not have 'what-if's' running through your hear 24/7, but honestly crossing bridges before you get to them will drive you round the bend.

Try, if you can, to look at one thing at a time and concentrate on what you have going for you. Firstly, the DV was from her on you and that is already documented. Yes, the false allegations are a new investigation, but the two are connected in that she has come up with these claims as a response to being questioned about DV on you. Peter1975 is right in that you might be eligible for Family Legal Aid given that she has been violent towards you and if you were already close to getting custody of your children, isn't there a Social Worker involved already? I doubt that they will put that process entirely to one side in the light of the new investigation. They will bring the 2 together at some point, hopefully soon. Couldn't you talk to the Social Worker dealing with your custody application sooner rather than later and without having to wait for the Social worker in the new investigation to contact you first?

It can be argued that your partner's current behaviour makes custody for you more likely not less, given all the other things that your partner has done including losing other children for neglect. As for your house, losing that is a way down the road and you will need it if you are in fact awarded custody. As I said before, you don't need a criminal lawyer yet as you haven't been charged - and may not be, though a chat with one might put your mind at rest.

You do need to talk to a Family Law lawyer, and as I've said if you getting custody was on the cards and in process, you need to talk to the Social Workers dealing with that ASAP. A False Accusation won't necessarily put the kybosh on that even though it will likely hold it up. Hang in there and try not to let all the possibilities overwhelm you. Worst case scenario is a long way off, and as you say, the safety of your children is of prime importance. Finding out what is going to happen to your custody application is a good place to start. Your partner isn't doing herself any favours, given her history, but it will take a while to untangle.

As I said, if there is a Social Worker involved already because you were applying for custody, that would be a good place to start.

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately, there is one social worker involved with me and my ex partner. When I went to the courts, I applied for an injunction but needed to return the following day for it to be heard by a judge. That same night, I was arrested for the false allegations so there's no way I can get this injunction now, and my partner and children have not returned home. My guess is that she's played the victim and is in a confidential address which cannot be disclosed to me.

I was a victim of DV, GBH in fact. But to get legal aid I need proof of this, and the officer in charge of the case has not called me back in over a week now.

So I'm stuck. Can't even get a family solicitor, and what happens if they end up charging me? Still no legal aid?

[Peter1975]

You need to call a family law solicitor who will help you get the proof you need for legal aid.

See these pages for advice on how to obtain proof:

http://childlawadvice.org.uk/informa...y-law-matters/

https://www.gov.uk/government/collec...estic-violence

You will get legal aid for any criminal case if the need arises, don't worry about that.

[Franticwithworry]

You don't have to wait for the OIC dealing with the DV to call you back. You can call him. The proof you need is the crime number and they should have given you that already. If you've lost it you can ask for it again.

Sometimes you have to call more than once to get what you need and are entitled to, so don't give up at the first fence, and as I said before, the Social Worker helping you with the injunction might be an ally if you contact them again too and ask for help. They know what your partner is like and some Social Workers are very helpful. There are a few things you can do, if you look back through the advice given here, to help you be proactive and so feel you are making a bit of progress and not just waiting for things to happen while not knowing where your family are.

[Nosleepforweeks]

You don't have to wait for the OIC dealing with the DV to call you back. You can call him. The proof you need is the crime number and they should have given you that already. If you've lost it you can ask for it again.

Sometimes you have to call more than once to get what you need and are entitled to, so don't give up at the first fence, and as I said before, the Social Worker helping you with the injunction might be an ally if you contact them again too and ask for help. They know what your partner is like and some Social Workers are very helpful. There are a few things you can do, if you look back through the advice given here, to help you be proactive and so feel you are making a bit of progress and not just waiting for things to happen while not knowing where your family are.

Thanks. So I've been on the case so to speak since 9am this morning.

The OIC will not return my calls and I can't get through to him

I have both crime numbers, the CAD number and the crime reference number

One solicitors I spoke to said I need a letter from the police confirming I was a victim of domestic violence. Another solicitors said they can potentially help me with the legal aid side of things, as I have income proof and the crime number. They just need to decide whether they will take the case on. At this stage, it'll be family solicitors as I've not been charged or bailed so a criminal solicitor is not yet needed.

There is only one social worker working on this case, who wants to see my ex and my kids first, then will see me later this week. He always sounds like he needs to get off the phone.

My ex and kids have not returned to the family home, and I was told they are not planning to. Again, I'm not sure if there would be any point getting an injunction right now as she's not here, hasn't been here for over a week and my kids are with her.

What really gets me is why on earth did the social services/police give the kids back to their Mum when she's knowingly violent, I had bruises all over my body from her, she attacked me with a meat chopper, and she has a proven track record of child neglect?

It would be very convenient if the crime number is enough for the lawyer to take the case on, because the police will not give me a print out, even though I was/am a victim! But because of her false allegations it seems to have turned this 360 degrees around and she's now classed as the victim.

Sorry for the rant guys. I've been trying every helpline I have and I'm concerned I won't get the legal aid. I'm not charged or bailed, but is there a need for a family solicitor at this moment? I'd like to think so.

[Nosleepforweeks]

Just received a call from the solicitors. Apparently the quickest way to get the ball rolling would be to see my GP (who's seen my bruises), where they can fill a short legal aid form out, and then take that to the solicitors. If GP says no then we'll keep having to chase the police.

If anyone knows of any quicker ways, please let me know.

Thanks for all the help so far.