Advice, please!

[AndyPandy]

Hang in there Andypandy.

I often wish i could be a fly on the wall at the cps, I imagine they have a backlog but they also prioritise cases and yours has certainly not been a straightforward decision. One can only wonder why it kept being sent back and what the complainant needed to clarify.

What you need to understand is that whatever decision they make, it is based on the bare bones of the case. You have not been given the full evidence against you and so you have not been able to provide a full defence. This is why the cps get their decision to charge wrong about half of the time, the police also fail to disclose evidence that can undermine a prosecution as well which doesn't help.(if they look for it at all)

I wouldn't worry about the opinion of the police, any solicitor will tell you that some of them don't have a clue about the law or what they should be looking for as evidence. Have a root through your devices and save any texts or emails and call logs that may be relevant. Have a snout on her social media.

The one thing that would be most important is her motive to lie. You don't say if there is a divorce or custody case but making a false allegation is now pretty common as it is one of the only criteria for an ex wife to get legal aid and leverage in the family court.

If you haven't already done so, write down a timeline and anything you can remember about your break up, arguments etc and keep adding to it as you remember things.

Hopefully you won't need any of that and the cps will make the right decision,

try and keep busy and look after yourself physically and mentally.

keep posting for support.

Thank you for your kind words Peter, honestly.
it means a lot. Honestly.

Sadly, yes it's a act of revenge.
My ex wife discovered my new relationship and that's when she set out this plan.

I'm having a pretty rough night; lost my home at the start of all this, lost my job, lost family, lost pretty much everything besides the clothes i had on
That's not even to mention the fact I was just thrown out of the station after two days of being detained, no support for what I had been through.

I am finding all this very hard now as I have very little now, pretty much buried my head the last year and stayed away from everyone I can, not even been to a pub!
I just keep thinking if this is what it's like now what will happen if I'm charged, I know damn well I'm innocent and even my solicitor has said this woman is a fruit cake and the jury will see right through her, they've even assured me the defence will rip her version of events to pieces as it's obvious it's all lies.

But I've never ever been in a court room let alone a crown court, I am the victim in all this yet I have no support I'm left to just sit tight.
At least with a illness you are given the news fairly quick or have support but this, it's nothing less than torture.


I pray I'm not charged mate, life will be pretty much over for me if I am.

GP wants me to see mental health team but it's the decision I need, then I deal with all the affects of what's happened to me afterwards.

Again Peter, thanks I'm not too sure what id have done without this forum

[Danny24]

Hi Andy, just want to say and I know your situation and case is very different to mine but your not alone in how you feel that your life has and will be completely destroyed because of what you've been accused of. It's hard to come to terms that the CPS currently has your life in their hands, like mine. I'm meant to be best man at my best friends wedding a year in September and the thought of knowing that might never happen is like life is not worth living all because of what my FA has said. She has no idea of the situation she has put me in and how my life is now. Just want you to know you're not alone mate and hope the best for the situation you find yourself in! Danny.

[Peter1975]

Sadly, yes it's a act of revenge.
My ex wife discovered my new relationship and that's when she set out this plan.

I pray I'm not charged mate, life will be pretty much over for me if I am.

GP wants me to see mental health team but it's the decision I need, then I deal with all the affects of what's happened to me afterwards.

That happens a lot, changing a facebook status to "in a relationship" can often trigger the FA's, I think a lot of them cannot handle their jealousy and twist their own imaginations to distance themselves from any responsibility for the breakdown in the relationship. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and all that..

I'm sorry to hear of your woes, a visit to your doctor might not be a bad idea, there is no shame in asking for help. Just being arrested for something you haven't done is traumatic in itself and the inescapable thoughts and questions and fear of the unknown can really drag you down if you aren't careful. It is a shame you lost your job but getting another one might help give you some routine and purpose if you can face it. Exercise is also a very good stress reliever.

If they decide to charge you then you will deal with it, I promise. A charge does not have to end in a conviction or even a trial, there is always hope. The majority of liars don't make very good witnesses and it will be a chance for you to have your say and clear your name.

Most of us have never been in a courtroom before but I found it to be a surreal experience rather than frightening in itself. The court is certainly nothing like you will see on TV, more like a very long and boring meeting.

Probably better to stay away from the pub if you are prone to drinking too much but it might be time to take yourself out of isolation and go and catch up with some mates and find some support.

You need to be good to yourself.