How did this happen...what now?

[SeaMonkey]

I was woken by the doorbell at 04:30 sunday morning. I looked out of the window and saw two female officers. I went to the door, I honestly thought something had happened to mum or my brother. They asked for my husband. I woke him, then went to let the puppy out. There were two male officers stood at our back gate. I went back inside, the officers were all in the living room with my husband. They watched him dress and went with him to the bathroom. They took him to the station without a word to me. I waited for 12 hours. I then found out that he had been arrested on an allegation of rape.

He has been released without charge pending investigation. He has not been bailed.

He was in a new job and the allegation was made by another employee. He has lost his job due to the allegation.

The time frame of the allegation is 8pm to midnight on the Friday. He was working on a different site to the 'victim' until 8:15pm then drove home and was with me and the kids until the police turned up a day and a half later. The site he was at have full CCTV. He drove on the smart motorway with all its cameras to get home.

We've been told it could be next week or next year before we hear anything else.

What do we do now...I feel completely lost.

[soulbug]

I was woken by the doorbell at 04:30 sunday morning. I looked out of the window and saw two female officers. I went to the door, I honestly thought something had happened to mum or my brother. They asked for my husband. I woke him, then went to let the puppy out. There were two male officers stood at our back gate. I went back inside, the officers were all in the living room with my husband. They watched him dress and went with him to the bathroom. They took him to the station without a word to me. I waited for 12 hours. I then found out that he had been arrested on an allegation of rape.

He has been released without charge pending investigation. He has not been bailed.

He was in a new job and the allegation was made by another employee. He has lost his job due to the allegation.

The time frame of the allegation is 8pm to midnight on the Friday. He was working on a different site to the 'victim' until 8:15pm then drove home and was with me and the kids until the police turned up a day and a half later. The site he was at have full CCTV. He drove on the smart motorway with all its cameras to get home.

We've been told it could be next week or next year before we hear anything else.

What do we do now...I feel completely lost.

Based on what you have said , your husband should have no issues , BUT if the accuser changes the date and time , which should be a tough one to swallow considering the allegation sounds like it was very recent as it would be fresh in someones mind as to when such a horrific event occurred

Couple of quick question that would be important , how far away is each location ? the one where your husband was working and his accuser ?

Did your husband work his regular hours on that day , or did he go home early due to illness ?

If the site has lots of CCTV , does it also require electronic key access from one area to another , which might be important as this could also map your husbands movements on the date and perhaps your husbands access electronic key would not of allowed him access to the other site.

I assume your husband has been questioned and took the free solicitor on the day.

These things do tend to drag on for a long time , try not to worry , hopefully the shock will pass fairly quickly , but all of you need to try and relax , but talking about things does help.

[SeaMonkey]

Thankyou for your reply,

We don't even know where she alleges it took place. Husband was just asked to account for his movements and for his clothes and work phone, which they still have.

Husband was area manager. He doesn't have a regular place of work, totally mobile. The sites belong to a third party and he manages the cleaners.

The sites can be cleaned at anytime outside office hours. My husband was cleaning the site as cover. Due to the nature of the site, the CCTV covers every inch except inside toilets, alarms are to be dealt with and codes used for doors but I don't think these are logged.

The site she works at is less that 10 miles away but in the opposite direction to home.

IF he were charged, would social services be involved, i've read posts where accused can't live at home but I don't know the circumstances.

[Franticwithworry]

Hi Seamonkey,

I'm sorry that you have to find yourself here. To be honest, it's difficult to say if Social Services will be involved and what they will do if they are. The important thing is to co-operate with them if they turn up on your doorstep. They are a law unto themselves but they are not all entirely unreasonable. If you hear from them, the important thing is that you impress upon them that you personally don't know what happened and that you will take whatever steps are necessary to protect your children.

That said, a lot of the time they are only interested if the accusations relate to an offence that involved children or very young adults, and it's when they go into overdrive in considering someone a risk to children that people are made to leave the family home. We have grandchildren and my man is accused of an offence against a child 40 years ago, but even with all that, Social Services came and went and closed their case. My man's bail conditions were to have no unsupervised contact with under 16-year-olds and they were happy with that.

In the terror and trauma of the first few weeks - and it is terrifying and traumatic to be falsely accused - it's easy to get tied up in a series of 'what if's'. I'm so sorry to hear that your husband has lost his job on the basis of this accusation. Cross each bridge as you come to it and not before if you can, though being aware of the impact of Social Services is a good thing.

You'll get lots of good advice and support on here. Browse the forum as much as you wish - though it can be a bit addictive if you let it. :-) Get your husband to write down everything that he can think of about that evening and what he knows of his accuser and put it in a safe place; give the police no further information as they are not your friends and find yourself a good solicitor who has experience of false accusations. Talking to a couple was the most comforting thing my man and I did.

Some people find that accusations such as this are cleared up quite quickly and others find that it's a long slow road. You have no control over it so take that as it comes. Remember, first and foremost, that you are not alone. I can only describe what's going on as an epidemic, the only up-side of which is that there are plenty of people willing to offer you moral and emotional support as you navigate this awful system that we have.

Hang in there, and remember that most of these false accusations get no further action in the end.

[SeaMonkey]

So after weeks of no contact from the police, my hubby has been asked to attend the police station tomorrow morning. She is now saying he has been following her in a white car and shouting abuse at her.

Since the allegation he has been out of work so has no concrete alibi but since we've no idea when this is supposed to have happened we can't even try.

On the plus side...we don't have a white car. We don't even know anyone with a white car.

Where does she get this stuff from?

How can we prove his innocence since this appears to be the way things are done these days.

[Peter1975]

Hi Seamonkey.

Sadly it is not uncommon for false accusers to make further false allegations of harassment but we would hope that the fact that the colour of the car is wrong might help the police come to the right conclusion.

Receipts and mobile phone records can help prove a location as can cctv from shops, traffic cameras and witnesses who may have seen him elsewhere. Internet history may be able to prove he was at home.

Make sure he has a solicitor with him tomorrow and please let us know how he gets on.

[SeaMonkey]

He has been to the station. In and out in 10 minutes.

OIC has now rung me to verify he was with me. 11:30pm on a wednesday... erm yup. Seemed happy with our statement that we don't have a white 4x4 too.

OIC seems really nice, answered all my questions and said he hoped to be able to ring us and let us get 'back to normal' soon. I'm hoping I'm not reading too much into this.

Lets see what happens, I think 'soon' is likely to be six months down the line.

[Peter1975]

Well that's something at least.

Might be an idea to keep a track of your movements by turning on your phones GPS and getting an app that will record your whereabouts just in case this happens again, keep your receipts, look into the cctv camera's if you are out and about.

Hopefully this will help show the woman as a fantasist.

[Wronglyaccused2016]

Hi,

Firstly let me say how sorry I am to see you here.

By what you have said it looks like you have a decent case against this woman, I echo the advice given by the other members on here but also would like to add, that you DO NOT give the Police this information beforehand as it has been known for them to allow the 'victim' to change their story to suit.

If it does unfortunately make it to a court room, then you will have all this evidence/ammo up your sleeve to shoot down their version of events.

I hope you keep your spirits up and remember that you have truth on your side!

[SeaMonkey]

Thankyou

Thankyou all for your advice and support.

I will suggest to hubby that we get one of those apps tonight, we had them on our old phones just so we knew when to put dinner on. Really wish we'd kept them now.

[Franticwithworry]

I'm so glad that this latest debacle seems to have been cleared up reasonably quickly but sorry that your husband has been out of work all this time.

Hopefully this latest nonsense will show the FA up for what she is and help this all come to an end sooner rather than later. The app sounds like a great idea.

[SeaMonkey]

Nfa

I just wanted to update everyone.

We finally got out NFA yesterday.

Its a massive relief but somehow we feel a bit lost. Hubby is still out of work having only lost his job because this allegation was made.

His accuser tried to make another allegation when the OIC went to see her to tell her about the NFA but the OIC just told her the case was closed, end of story.

The last 6 months have been hard but I don't really know how to build it back up from here, there is no record, no charges, no day in court..we almost feel like we dreamed it.

Am I a bit bonkers?

[lazy lass]

Yabadabadoo,
Fantastic news over the moon for you and your partner.
Get your lives back on track and move forward. But also give yourselves time for days of mixed emotions, but things will never be as dark as the past you've left behind.

It's my pleasure to post these dudes

[Pond31]

Another FA bites the dust.

Congrats

[Peter1975]

Great news. I hope you can recover quickly and move on from this, just take one day at a time