Please never give up.....your families need you!

[Stressed out mother]

This morning i read the continuation of ronuk99 posts. He says how he goes for senrencing today and how if he gets a custodial sentence he intends to take a cyanide pill, which he professes to have!!
Now i dont know if his statements on here are truth or fiction, surely he would never have arrived on here if he had not been in the position that so many have found ourselves. But!! I know everyone in this situation thinks at some point about just ending the nightmare permanety, even my son has said that a jail term would be the end of his life and his young son would be lost to him forever. Until that point comes, we fight. If that time comes, we fight, we prevail and we come out the other side.
Your children are better knowing that you loved them enough not to end your life. How would they feel if you did? Dont think it will make their lives or your families lives, your partners lives, any easier. It wont!! They will have grief, anger and people saying well he must have done it, there's no smoke without fire, if he didnt do it why did he kill himself etc etc etc.
They will lose you forever. They will struggle emotionally and financially (do you realise the expense of a funeral etc?). You will not be there to tell them why they were not enough to keep you going through all of this. Finally they will forever think that they were not enough, not enough for you to face your demons and come out on the other side.
We all get depressed, we all have different ways of coping with it. If you have thoughts of ending it all please get the help that you need in order to continue. After all many people do not have the choice...Manchester bombing is a casing point!!

[FalselyaccusedScared]

This morning i read the continuation of ronuk99 posts. He says how he goes for senrencing today and how if he gets a custodial sentence he intends to take a cyanide pill, which he professes to have!!
Now i dont know if his statements on here are truth or fiction, surely he would never have arrived on here if he had not been in the position that so many have found ourselves. But!! I know everyone in this situation thinks at some point about just ending the nightmare permanety, even my son has said that a jail term would be the end of his life and his young son would be lost to him forever. Until that point comes, we fight. If that time comes, we fight, we prevail and we come out the other side.
Your children are better knowing that you loved them enough not to end your life. How would they feel if you did? Dont think it will make their lives or your families lives, your partners lives, any easier. It wont!! They will have grief, anger and people saying well he must have done it, there's no smoke without fire, if he didnt do it why did he kill himself etc etc etc.
They will lose you forever. They will struggle emotionally and financially (do you realise the expense of a funeral etc?). You will not be there to tell them why they were not enough to keep you going through all of this. Finally they will forever think that they were not enough, not enough for you to face your demons and come out on the other side.
We all get depressed, we all have different ways of coping with it. If you have thoughts of ending it all please get the help that you need in order to continue. After all many people do not have the choice...Manchester bombing is a casing point!!

I respect your post; honestly I do.

But for me (for reasons I can't post in fear of the Police discovering my identity as its a very complex one off situation) but myself and another family member have been accused of this horrendous crime, Rape, to which I can promise you, hand on heart, with God as my witness, I did NOT commit - I didn't even have sex with the person during the time they say this supposedly happened.

I am innocent, but in over a year following arrest, I've lost myself beyond any hope I have tried to hold on too.
My other family member is now getting very ill, and is getting worse each day - they won't get better, the doctor has already said their condition isnt treatable - and they only became ill following arrest.

I have no other family - so for me, my life is over whichever way this goes.
I'll never work in the profession I hoped too, social services will follow me like dogs forever "watching me".
As for the Police, even if the CPS refuse charge, they'll forever suspect me as this " nasty evil" person needing locking up.

I am being snitched up, and for those who think it doesn't happen, believe me it does - there was lots of lies in the Disclosure prior to interview that the Police gave the solicitor and loads of lies, made up by the OIC which was sent to the CPS.

The fact is, the system doesn't give a fu*k if you are innocent, the fact is someone hates you enough to make such a damaging allegation, and smash your life too pieces, that the Police and CPS follow a charge "just in case" you are guilty.

I have already decided, many months ago, if I am to be charged, I will be ending my life.
I have tied up my affairs, I have put everything in order.
I refuse to stand trial, for something not only I know I didn't do, but for something I would not of ever of done EVER.
I refuse to stand trial while that "thing" is prptectefy, comforted and given all the candy in the world, that "thing" isn't a "victim" we are the victims, she's a sick, vile "thing" that I'll never understand how it could do this to us let alone anyone.

The fact is, innocent people do go to prison, if we say they don't we are sugar coating the truth.
I asked my solicitor, how many innocent people are in prison for a Rape they did not commit, I wanted the cold hearted truth, his reply "hundreds".

I'm sorry, sorry I'm not strong enough, sorry that certain people believe I could do something that vile, sorry that it's possible in a years time I won't be here, I'm sorry that it came to this but I'd rather be fed than in prison with people who have committed actual serious crimes, Id rather be dead than treated like a animal in a cage, ticking each day off of a possible 5,10,12 year term, being released as a sex offender, no one wanting to know you.

I know I will be postal charged, if I am to be, as I have been told, so before any hearing I will end it, leaving the letter I have written.

I'm sorry, genuinely but on a final note, this world did nothing to protect me and infact made the devil find me and make such evil things up that broke me, beyond repair.

I've lost faith in living, I've lost myself in a system full of lies and people who don't actually give a toss about you.

The other day someone was actually nice to me, genuinely, and I ended up crying, just by someone caring, because for the last year I've been treated like a guilty person.

I'm innocent, maybe the CPS won't believe that but the one thing I can keep hold of is my dignity and that I will.


I pray I won't be charged but, if I am, my decision is set in stone, and if I'm not, I remain forever broken.

Again, I'm sorry to be so blunt and I hope others are more positive but for me, it was over when I was arrested for something I didn't do.

[Peter1975]

I am loath to say this falselyaccusedscared, but please pull yourself together and try to keep things in perspective.

Around 80% of all cases are NFA'd so any idea that the police and cps are all maniacs has no basis in reality. Some of them are psychopaths for sure, I myself had to go to court for something I could not ever do and something no properly trained officer with two brain cells to rub together could have mistaken for genuine abuse. I should not have to point out that I was not simply picked up off the street but that lies had to be told first. There is no conspiracy to convict innocent people and it does not happen often. The system is dumb rather than corrupt.

The fact is that you have the truth on your side and IF you are charged you will have every opportunity to defend yourself and you will get help here if you ask for it. Your defeatist attitude suggests you have something to hide. A charge means you can come out and fight and answer for yourself. A charge certainly does not mean a conviction. I have no idea why you would just give up or even plan to. There are others that have survived prison in the worst case scenario so kill yourself there if it happens, but not before, that does not make sense at all.

You have friends here and people that have been through this and while we are on your side we all have our own trauma to deal with too and none of us need your kind of drama. remember that.

You are a long way from being a hopeless case, hang in there. we are here to help if we can

[Rights Fighter]

Unfortunately when people start writing that they will kill themselves if "whatever" happens, my eyes glaze over.

We have had hundreds of people posting on here through the years and most do not put other members under such emotional pressure. They have enough worries and stress of their own, without having to think about somebody who might harm themselves.

[wakingnightmare]

Ok here goes ....

Right now you are in a very dark place but you may not always remain in this place. Peter has pointed out you may not be charged. Lots of people on here get NFA'd. If you are charged then you will receive disclosures and begin to see the case against you whilst this is scary this is also good as it allows you to be proactive starting to pick holes in what they have said and you can start to prepare your defence. Being left in the current limbo corrodes the soul as you are utterly powerless.

I don't think a defeatist attitude is a sign of something to hide rather a sign you are at breaking point. Have you spoken to anyone about what you are going through? Perhaps your GP can help with medication. You are dealing with an awful lot if I understand correctly you coaccused who I'm guessing is a family member is suffering from dementia. Watching someone you lose slowly disappear through this hideous illness is cruel at the best of times. Again this is an illness where you have no control which is exacerbating your despondency. You probably feel very isolated as you can't share your fears with them anymore. If you don't feel able to talk to your GP then I urge you to speak to the Samaritans or similar organisation you need to share these burdens in order to stop them overwhelming you completely.

[Franticwithworry]

I respect your post; honestly I do.

But for me (for reasons I can't post in fear of the Police discovering my identity as its a very complex one off situation) but myself and another family member have been accused of this horrendous crime, Rape, to which I can promise you, hand on heart, with God as my witness, I did NOT commit - I didn't even have sex with the person during the time they say this supposedly happened.

I am innocent, but in over a year following arrest, I've lost myself beyond any hope I have tried to hold on too.
My other family member is now getting very ill, and is getting worse each day - they won't get better, the doctor has already said their condition isnt treatable - and they only became ill following arrest.

I have no other family - so for me, my life is over whichever way this goes.
I'll never work in the profession I hoped too, social services will follow me like dogs forever "watching me".
As for the Police, even if the CPS refuse charge, they'll forever suspect me as this " nasty evil" person needing locking up.

I am being snitched up, and for those who think it doesn't happen, believe me it does - there was lots of lies in the Disclosure prior to interview that the Police gave the solicitor and loads of lies, made up by the OIC which was sent to the CPS.

The fact is, the system doesn't give a fu*k if you are innocent, the fact is someone hates you enough to make such a damaging allegation, and smash your life too pieces, that the Police and CPS follow a charge "just in case" you are guilty.

I have already decided, many months ago, if I am to be charged, I will be ending my life.
I have tied up my affairs, I have put everything in order.
I refuse to stand trial, for something not only I know I didn't do, but for something I would not of ever of done EVER.
I refuse to stand trial while that "thing" is prptectefy, comforted and given all the candy in the world, that "thing" isn't a "victim" we are the victims, she's a sick, vile "thing" that I'll never understand how it could do this to us let alone anyone.

The fact is, innocent people do go to prison, if we say they don't we are sugar coating the truth.
I asked my solicitor, how many innocent people are in prison for a Rape they did not commit, I wanted the cold hearted truth, his reply "hundreds".

I'm sorry, sorry I'm not strong enough, sorry that certain people believe I could do something that vile, sorry that it's possible in a years time I won't be here, I'm sorry that it came to this but I'd rather be fed than in prison with people who have committed actual serious crimes, Id rather be dead than treated like a animal in a cage, ticking each day off of a possible 5,10,12 year term, being released as a sex offender, no one wanting to know you.

I know I will be postal charged, if I am to be, as I have been told, so before any hearing I will end it, leaving the letter I have written.

I'm sorry, genuinely but on a final note, this world did nothing to protect me and infact made the devil find me and make such evil things up that broke me, beyond repair.

I've lost faith in living, I've lost myself in a system full of lies and people who don't actually give a toss about you.

The other day someone was actually nice to me, genuinely, and I ended up crying, just by someone caring, because for the last year I've been treated like a guilty person.

I'm innocent, maybe the CPS won't believe that but the one thing I can keep hold of is my dignity and that I will.


I pray I won't be charged but, if I am, my decision is set in stone, and if I'm not, I remain forever broken.

Again, I'm sorry to be so blunt and I hope others are more positive but for me, it was over when I was arrested for something I didn't do.

I echo what the others have said in relation to this post, but I'd also like to ask a question -

What, when you wrote that, were you hoping to achieve? There are others on this forum in similar circumstances who are struggling with similar feelings. The plan here is to buoy people up, not bring them down. It's one thing to post and ask for help and support because you're feeling down and quite another to say that you have made plans and no-one can talk you out of them.

We all feel bad enough as it is. We all know that people can be and are 'stitched up' as you put it. This is the place for getting emotional support to deal with the effects of that and practical advice on how to not let it happen.

When you really feel that you can't go on and there is no option for you but to end it all, this is not the place to broadcast it. You need practical help from your GP or the opportunity to talk one-to-one with an organisation like the Samaritans. Or not, if you really don't want it - your choice. Please don't just dump everything negative on people here who can only read your posts and be frightened by them. We all lose enough sleep as it is. Now, you have been quiet for a few days and no-one knows how you are doing or what has become of you. Like I said, I don't know what you hoped to achieve, but the chances are that you have scared and upset a lot of people unnecessarily. More people read these forums than post.

It's not fair to put members of an anonymous forum under that sort of pressure, it really isn't. As I said, we are all under pressure and know the score. Please be a bit more responsible when you post about your situation.

[Stressed out mother]

So if one person is down we should all be down?

I posted this thread originally due to one person posting how he intended to end his life! I spent 24 hours worrying about a man who i didnt know, worrying as to whether his life would be finished by his own hands.
Next thing i know is rather than reminding people that there are reasons to go on, suddenly someone else dumps a load of worry on my doorstep. Including a pm, which even though i replied got no answer back!!
I know things go pear ahaped. I know innocent people end up in jail. I know this waiting is a living death and the fail out will continue long after a court decides on the fate of people in this position.
But.
I grab onto the positive posts, the helpful posts. The posts that are made by people like myself and my son. Yes those posts can read like a horror story, but the support from others who like me have enough of a problem facing each day that comes, is amazing!!
But now we all have another worry to face. As to whether someone who we can only reach out to by written words, is so desparate that he contemplates suicide, even before the final decision is reached.
I cant undo what has happened to you. I cant undo having read your pist. Yes i could remove the thread, but still your words are etched in my memory, so why bother?
At least my reminder of family and friends needing people hit a nerve with one person who decided to bravely face his demons. I do hope that you too learn to face yours!

[Peter1975]

Next thing i know is rather than reminding people that there are reasons to go on, suddenly someone else dumps a load of worry on my doorstep. Including a pm, which even though i replied got no answer back!!

You are absolutely right SOM, there are lots of reasons to be positive, please ignore the gloom merchants.

I am concerned that someone has upset you via PM. I suggest you report this to the admin and change your settings to block any more messages.

[Franticwithworry]

It's especially concerning if anyone is being upset by private messages. We work hard to keep the forums a safe place to be. Peter1975 is right and you can change your PM settings to block messages, but please reply to mine before you decide to do that. :-)

[Rights Fighter]

You can choose who you will accept messages from.

Go to General Settings and then Private Messaging

Keep the "Private Messaging On" ticked but make sure you receive from Contacts and Moderators only - click on the screenshot below.


Screenshot_1.jpg