7 Months - Still Hurt

[SethRogenEnthusiast]

Hello, I don't really know how to start this so I just will. Around 7 months ago I was falsely accused by my gf of the time. What happened was that we had a pregnancy scare and when we were going top have sex again for the first time which she agreed to at the time, then three weeks later she changed her mind. She left me and I was left broken, she was everything to me, I surrounded myself with her and when she wasn't there anymore it killed me.
I heard some of the things she was saying, like that she was crying and verbally asking me to stop but that didn't happen. To have her say these things about me 7 months ago is still killing me. I've been so alone. I'm afraid. I'm depressed and I just want help.

[YearsOfHell]

Hi
Just wondering how you're holding up.
Have you been to GP for any help?
It's a heartbreaking thing when it's someone so close to you making these allegations.
You must remember that you are not the person she is making you out to be.
Trust your innocence and stand tall.
You can get help from talking to the samaritans, if you need to talk.
GP can give you something to help if you need it, there's no shame, you're living with a huge shock and a life changing matter.
Get counselling in place too.
It takes a while so do it now.
What's happening with the case?
Are you on bail?
Keep posting
YoH

[SethRogenEnthusiast]

It's all been very slow honestly. She never went to the police, which I know maybe makes my case less severe but not telling the police didn't stop her telling everyone. Thanks for the kind words of support.

[Rights Fighter]

I am so sorry to see this has happened to you SethRogenEnthusiast

Hopefully she won't go to the police, but if she does, you will have the support from the good people in the group, as and when necessary.

[SethRogenEnthusiast]

Thank you, I never knew there were so many people going through a similar thing to me before I came on here.

[SethRogenEnthusiast]

I'm pretty badly depressed and have been for like 3 years so when she told me that I believed her and she said that it wasn't rape, then she changed her mind. It's getting to a point where i don't feel like I'm going to get over it. I'm not confident enough to find new love especially after this. Life is not going well atm

[Franticwithworry]

Please, be encouraged to seek some counselling to help with your present state of mind. Just because she said so doesn't make it true, and there are ways to help your self esteem and belief in yourself recover.

Her lies crushing you means that she is winning, and she possibly doesn't give you or your feelings a second thought after all these months. Reclaim your life!! It doesn't have to be so miserable, but you need to work at making it better.

We can encourage and support as much as you need, but baby steps to your GP to ask for mental health assistance is a good start. Feeling so low for 3 years is hard, but it can get better and you don't have to let this episode make it worse or get the better of you.

Please talk to your doctor. I can promise you that a good GP won't be shocked or judge you. They've probably come across your kind of situation before and may have lots of good suggestions to make.

[Justice4men]

I'm pretty badly depressed and have been for like 3 years so when she told me that I believed her and she said that it wasn't rape, then she changed her mind. It's getting to a point where i don't feel like I'm going to get over it. I'm not confident enough to find new love especially after this. Life is not going well atm

I can assure you will receive much love, support and encouragement from this website!

Look after yourself spiritually, psychologically and physically!...you are not alone by any means dear brother!

[SethRogenEnthusiast]

It's just a lot to deal with at my age. I didn't expect to have a problem like this. I know I shouldn't let her win by letting this hurt me so much but I can't just stop. I think about her everyday and I hate it. The only support I have at the moment are substances (I know I'm a moron). How do I not care about her anymore, I just want to move on.

[Peter1975]

It's just a lot to deal with at my age. I didn't expect to have a problem like this. I know I shouldn't let her win by letting this hurt me so much but I can't just stop. I think about her everyday and I hate it. The only support I have at the moment are substances (I know I'm a moron). How do I not care about her anymore, I just want to move on.

That can be a very slow process my friend, breaking up is hard to do and it can take a while to be able to see things in a new light. Perhaps the most difficult thing to accept is that someone is self absorbed and didn't care about you in the way that you care about them. In my own experience, it has taken me literally years to work out that my ex's were very insecure and what appeared to be caring behaviour was actually just a means of control and reward on their part. That they could stop caring once I was no longer beneficial to them proved this to be true. It's tough to consider but if you can apply your own values, ie: how would you treat them, you will learn that it is not you with the problem.

Go easy on the substances, they are the road to ruin, and much better to share

[Rights Fighter]

I second what Peter says. If you can try to do without the artificial substances and see your GP. he or she might be able to give you something short term to help with depression and anxiety. Also ask if there is CBT one-to-one in your area.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-.../#.WQiwXlUrLcs