Partner been falsly charged with rape. How can i help and what next in the process

[Goodguy]

Hi all iv managed to get my.partner to join the forum to ask questions and seek advice but apart from the post the other day.hes switched off. I have been reading posts in here since the nightmare started and have found it useful and reassuring at times.

He went in for questioning in june and was released with a caution while it went back and forth to cps. On monday he got the call to ask him to go in today where he will be formally charged with it. He knows today is been interviewed, charged and bailed but what happens next?

I gather it then goes to magestraites court for his not guilty plea then to crown court for a trail is this about right?

I see on here this can be a long wait but after 9 months already is there any vhance it could soon be over.

Im trying my best to stay strong for him but the stress is overbearing, hes had to move out of the house this week so from now till its over we will only see each other on a weekend and he refuses to speak to me. I dont know how to help him? The past few months weve carried on as normal not discussed it and was both hopig with it been so long it would ve dropped but now its happening our lives have been tipped upside down again. During the week hes refusing to answer calls or talk about it and ignores texts because hes too scared abd i fear that by us been sperated and choosif to deal with it speratley we will end up taking it out on each other and making us both ill by shutting off to deal with it alone.

[Stressed out mother]

In similar position

I can only say what i have found out today, as after waiting since september my son has now been charged today. Yes he has to attend magistrates in order to enter his plea. Solicitor has told me that he will now need a barrister, but there is a possibility of getting legal aid as it now goes to crown court. On the down side she also said that it can take up to a year before we actually get to court!
So he has to live in this nightmare, whilst she skipps her way on!!
My heart goes out to you. It is so hard supporting someone, i do wonder how i will find the strength, but i know that i and you will, because thats what we have to do.

[Franticwithworry]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's such a trauma to be falsely accused that it's no wonder that many people just shut down rather than deal with it head on. It doesn't help you if your husband is refusing to speak to you but he probably just doesn't know what to do or say.

It's many times worse when he has to leave the family home I think. Does he have a solicitor yet? It's imperative that he finds one experienced in false accusations, not just sexual crime.

Is there anyone else he is talking to? Is there any way he can be persuaded to see his GP? It's trauma that's making him behave this way and there's help out there if he can be persuaded to ask for it.

That said, it's traumatic for you too and there's help and support for you here as well, regardless of what your husband does or doesn't do.

[KB19]

Hi good guy I am so sorry he had now been charged from my experience with my OH he did initially go through the I don't want to talk about it , as it was so surreal to him he was on bail in total for 17 months charged last August took 9 months to get to court , it does I think depend how busy the courts are in your area .
Over the months from charge I used to talk and read bits to him from here and he seems to then realise that he could not bury his head in the sand so started looking at things for himself hopefully he will do similar , I think the little conversations I had with him about how everyone read , trawled social media for evidence and generally made themselves ready for trial sorta worked .
Bear with him I am sure it will click into place soon the GP and maybe some councilling may help him and you .

[Goodguy]

Stressed out mother i am sorry to hear your having to live this ordeal too. Thank you for the advice. I still dont know anyth8ng as hes apparently slept all afternoon since getting out so im stuck waiting for a call to hear about it but i know he wasnt re interviewed. Just charged. Its the waiting thats worrying me 10 months at cps was stressful enough but to waot another year as you say life is near impossible to continue with and any normality has gone. Its not fair on them or us but i do know you as will i will find the strength to get through just hard to know what to do.

Franticwithworry he has got a solicitor but its just the one he got when he went in for the caution back in june. Apparently he spent all week ringing solicitors but the secutarys say theyll call within an hour and he didnt hear back from any. But im hoping if he speaks to me soon he will listen to the advice on here and let me help him contact the ones that have been suggested.

He yas a friend that hes staying with to talk to about it but in the mean time im left completley alone noone knows and in a small village it getting out would destroy my career and its already ruined his job as hes been suspended till after court but as it seems that could be a year or longer away. Thats why iv spoke on here iv spent the last week not eating or sleeping and constantly crying and with my partner been the only 1 i can talk to i dont want to burdem him anymore on the brief conversations he does accept.


Thank you kb19 is your ordeal nearlynover of youve been to court yet? Thank you for the advice im very worried that our relationship wont make it through the months that now follow till a court date. Its only been since monday that we foun d out and already its a massive strain weve seen each other once and that was the initial night he found out when we both just cried. Iv had minimal replys to texts. Then feel guilty that im having a go at him for shutting me out when i know its an awful experience but i cant help it as im all alone and scared about it all too. Im hoping its just the initial shock but im not sure hes spoke to other people about it and has said its easier not to talk to me so he doesnt push me away but rhats whats happening anyway. Hopefully after this weekend it may be better. I did say on tuesday about social media and bits but he wasnt really listening but i have managed to start looking through facebook myself to find the smalpest thing to help.

[Peter1975]

Hi Goodguy.

I just wanted to add my support to you at this difficult time. I'm afraid you will have many ups and downs between now and the trial but you will get through it and come out of the other side.

Please keep trying the solicitors suggested, they really can make all the difference and once your OH has spoken to one he will have a better idea of how to defend himself against the lies. Often it seems there is no defence except to say "I didn't do it" but that is never the case and there are always grounds for undermining the prosecutions case.

You will receive your own copy of the cps bundle, hopefully before or not long after the magistrates.This will contain the statements made against and a transcript of OH's interview and this is when you can really start to pick holes in the story and build a defence.

The magistrates will be followed by a plea and trial preparation hearing (PTPH) at the crown court, within 28 days of the magistrates. Neither of these hearings are anything to worry about in themselves and will only involve confirming his name and pleading not guilty to each of the charges. The PTPH is where you will learn the date of the trial and yes, sadly, the average time is 6-9 months.

Both court appearances will be an opportunity to talk to the solicitor (and barrister at crown court) so go armed with a pad to take notes and any questions you want to ask them. The more information you can supply them the better.

Also take some change for car parks and vending machines, there may be a lot of waiting around for a 5 minute hearing in the magistrates (crown courts run more or less on time) and be aware that you will pass through metal detectors and have your bag searched every time you enter the court building. Swiss army knives will be confiscated so leave them at home.

I don't know what to suggest about the communication problem with your OH. I didn't really feel like talking about my own case on a daily basis but felt better after talking to my legal team. Things will perhaps become clearer for your OH once the magistrates is out of the way and he has a better idea of what to do.

Come back often for help and advice and if you are not already a member of Pafaa, I recommend you join.

[Rights Fighter]

Peter, would you please email him the link to the relevant page (Info about forums) on the home PAFAA site please, if this is an historic case.

[Peter1975]

Have done RF