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Around about five years ago I was called out of the blue by a woman identifying herself as a police officer, she said that she'd like to speak to me about an incident that was alleged to have occurred in the run-up to Christmas, three months prior. Said an allegation had been made and that she would like to speak to me on a voluntary basis as a witness. Panic set in as I vaguely remembered a one night stand from then and that i'd written her off as completely paranoid and crazy. Immediately called Father, explained what I could remember, tried piecing memories together using call/sms records.
Remember basic story is that I had met a woman outside a nightclub where she asked me to guard her while she urinated in an alley. She then asked me for my coat as she was cold, I decided to go and get a taxi where she followed me, I rang up and ordered a taxi to my address, I got out of taxi leaving her to go wherever she needs, wouldn't give coat back, she gets out and follows me to my door. I go in and sit on sofa and she follows me and sits beside me, then she starts making the moves, I'm not that interested and also suspicious. Nothing happens. I invite her to bedroom, immediately fall asleep. Wake up and need to get to work, try and usher her out of the house then drop her home. She kisses me and asks to text her. Don't follow up as she appears completely crazy, something not right about how pushy she was.
Anyway, distressing not being arrested as I thought they were lying or attempting to setup an ambush to catch me out. Called solicitor for advice who said he could offer assistance to be present during the 'voluntary interview'. Officer called around a week later saying to let's get this over and done with and that there were other options. Scared at implications for employment/career even from arrest.
Eventually pieced together what I remembered and realised that no intercourse took place and that I was definitely innocent and that they somehow knew I was innocent as I hadn't been arrested.
Anyway the 'interview' was the most violent passive aggressive event I've had to endure by thousands of times where they completely humiliated and degraded me with the threat of life-ending implications (prison/SOR/court/humiliation etc), harassment amounted to torture. They did the 20 questions about the interior of the house, she failed, obviously lying. Tried to explain what I could remember but they left with what appeared to be a solid version of events. No arrest. No caution. No charges. Left police station and I questioned reality, nothing made sense. Solicitor said to wait to see what they came back with.
Ten months elapsed of total anxiety and distress elapsed not knowing what would happen. Eventually called them and they asked what relation I was to the case and I said that I must be the suspect, why else would they be interviewing me. Said there'd be no further action, I asked for confirmation in writing to that effect, letter arrived next day as such.
Completely baffled as to what happened, decided to forget and move on. Couldn't do it after year two and requested the transcript of interview to try and make sense of the event. Read it 30 times (50 pages), still baffled. Then I made a breakthrough, she mentions symptoms of what seems to be a bacterial infection, with what she said it couldn't possibly have been me that gave it to her even if we did have intercourse. There's a background story forming that begins to explain what happened.
All the while my mental health deteriorates and i've recently been diagnosed with PTSD (gynophobia and agoraphobia).
Who'd like to hear the background story that i've been able to piece together, this huge storm of intense harrassment has absolutely nothing to do with me or my story and absolutely everything to do with her and her background story before meeting me. It was all in the transcript.
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There once was a woman named R who got engaged early in life to a soldier. She grew up in a religious catholic family who believed strongly in the sanctity of marriage. Things were going well when news arrived that her new fiance was to be re-deployed to another country. Facing a remote relationship, they both tried to make it work but gradually the relationship started to slowly break up. Suspicions of faithfulness, commitment and abandonment began and although they spoke frequently on the phone, things began to deteriorate with paranoia escalating rapidly.
Convinced that her fiance was cheating she decided to balance the scales by going out on the town to seek the attention she craved. Without too much effort she found a man, possibly of an alternate race, that invited her home where they had lots of unprotected casual sex in spite of her fiance. Feeling satisfied with what she had accomplished she kept it secret.
She talked to her fiance frequently over the next few weeks where he began to suspect that she was hiding something from him. He would be back with her in person in a week and he’d be able to talk things through. Then it happened, she noticed a discharge in her underwear with pelvic pain and urgency when urinating. Her world collapsed around her when she thought there could be a real possibility she had contracted HIV from her night of revenge. The distress she was under thinking of how she could get rid of this without her fiance, family, or authorities finding out.
She couldn’t visit the Doctor as her fiance would be there in a week and appointments take at least that, they would ask her about her sexual history, she couldn’t confide in her friends as they would tell her fiance when they realised she cheated. There had to be some way out of this mess, some way she could reverse time and stop the guilt, shame, paranoia, pain and get the medical help she needs.
To add to that she has an argument with her fiance where he demands to know what’s wrong and she tells him to get lost.
What happens next?
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Turns out I was never the suspect, or a witness, I was the victim
Remember basic story is that I had met a woman outside a nightclub where she asked me to guard her while she urinated in an alley. She then asked me for my coat as she was cold, I decided to go and get a taxi where she followed me, I rang up and ordered a taxi to my address, I got out of taxi leaving her to go wherever she needs, wouldn't give coat back, she gets out and follows me to my door. I go in and sit on sofa and she follows me and sits beside me, then she starts making the moves, I'm not that interested and also suspicious. Nothing happens. I invite her to bedroom, immediately fall asleep. Wake up and need to get to work, try and usher her out of the house then drop her home. She kisses me and asks to text her. Don't follow up as she appears completely crazy, something not right about how pushy she was.
Anyway, distressing not being arrested as I thought they were lying or attempting to setup an ambush to catch me out. Called solicitor for advice who said he could offer assistance to be present during the 'voluntary interview'. Officer called around a week later saying to let's get this over and done with and that there were other options. Scared at implications for employment/career even from arrest.
Eventually pieced together what I remembered and realised that no intercourse took place and that I was definitely innocent and that they somehow knew I was innocent as I hadn't been arrested.
Anyway the 'interview' was the most violent passive aggressive event I've had to endure by thousands of times where they completely humiliated and degraded me with the threat of life-ending implications (prison/SOR/court/humiliation etc), harassment amounted to torture. They did the 20 questions about the interior of the house, she failed, obviously lying. Tried to explain what I could remember but they left with what appeared to be a solid version of events. No arrest. No caution. No charges. Left police station and I questioned reality, nothing made sense. Solicitor said to wait to see what they came back with.
Ten months elapsed of total anxiety and distress elapsed not knowing what would happen. Eventually called them and they asked what relation I was to the case and I said that I must be the suspect, why else would they be interviewing me. Said there'd be no further action, I asked for confirmation in writing to that effect, letter arrived next day as such.
Completely baffled as to what happened, decided to forget and move on. Couldn't do it after year two and requested the transcript of interview to try and make sense of the event. Read it 30 times (50 pages), still baffled. Then I made a breakthrough, she mentions symptoms of what seems to be a bacterial infection, with what she said it couldn't possibly have been me that gave it to her even if we did have intercourse. There's a background story forming that begins to explain what happened.
All the while my mental health deteriorates and i've recently been diagnosed with PTSD (gynophobia and agoraphobia).
Who'd like to hear the background story that i've been able to piece together, this huge storm of intense harrassment has absolutely nothing to do with me or my story and absolutely everything to do with her and her background story before meeting me. It was all in the transcript.
------------------------------
There once was a woman named R who got engaged early in life to a soldier. She grew up in a religious catholic family who believed strongly in the sanctity of marriage. Things were going well when news arrived that her new fiance was to be re-deployed to another country. Facing a remote relationship, they both tried to make it work but gradually the relationship started to slowly break up. Suspicions of faithfulness, commitment and abandonment began and although they spoke frequently on the phone, things began to deteriorate with paranoia escalating rapidly.
Convinced that her fiance was cheating she decided to balance the scales by going out on the town to seek the attention she craved. Without too much effort she found a man, possibly of an alternate race, that invited her home where they had lots of unprotected casual sex in spite of her fiance. Feeling satisfied with what she had accomplished she kept it secret.
She talked to her fiance frequently over the next few weeks where he began to suspect that she was hiding something from him. He would be back with her in person in a week and he’d be able to talk things through. Then it happened, she noticed a discharge in her underwear with pelvic pain and urgency when urinating. Her world collapsed around her when she thought there could be a real possibility she had contracted HIV from her night of revenge. The distress she was under thinking of how she could get rid of this without her fiance, family, or authorities finding out.
She couldn’t visit the Doctor as her fiance would be there in a week and appointments take at least that, they would ask her about her sexual history, she couldn’t confide in her friends as they would tell her fiance when they realised she cheated. There had to be some way out of this mess, some way she could reverse time and stop the guilt, shame, paranoia, pain and get the medical help she needs.
To add to that she has an argument with her fiance where he demands to know what’s wrong and she tells him to get lost.
What happens next?
------------------------------
Turns out I was never the suspect, or a witness, I was the victim
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