Falsely accused

[Bob1234]

Hello all,

I have stumbled on this forum this week after a traumatic weekend. I just want to say thank you to all first as I have read a lot of posts on this matter

Spend 14 hours in the cell and my life is crashing before my eyes. I'm on bail and still have 12 weeks before any update ! Phone is taken off me etc.

Is this 12 weeks normal? I can't even function at work and have booked to see a counsellor tomorrow. I have done nothing wrong here as there was consent. Any advice opinions will be great

[sqounk]

Hello all,

I have stumbled on this forum this week after a traumatic weekend. I just want to say thank you to all first as I have read a lot of posts on this matter

Spend 14 hours in the cell and my life is crashing before my eyes. I'm on bail and still have 12 weeks before any update ! Phone is taken off me etc.

Is this 12 weeks normal? I can't even function at work and have booked to see a counsellor tomorrow. I have done nothing wrong here as there was consent. Any advice opinions will be great

Hi Bob
Welcome and firstly - calm down and take a breath. You have had a massive shock to the system. There are a HUGE amount of claims like this so there is a good chance of the allegation being dropped.
Have you been charged? And did you have a solicitor with you at interview? Seeing a counsellor is a good idea. Pre-charge bail is changing so I don't know - 3 months is probably what they need to do electronic stuff.

[YearsOfHell]

Welcome Bob
So sorry you're going through this!

Have a look at this link:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

Hang in there
YoH

[Bob1234]

Hi guys

Thanks for the support. Without going into detail we had both been drinking if that's of any use.

I have not been charged no, but the feeling is awful. I cannot sleep, appetite has been low and i just feel alone.

I have told my parents and a couple of my friends as I needed support and this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The next day I wrote down in a lot of detail the events of the night. I did have a legal rep with me when answering the questions Which was provided.

This matter has changed my outlook on police etc. It's not about innocent until proven guilty. It's guilty until proven innocent. I just wish I could turn back the time and avoid this whole mess!

[YearsOfHell]

Sounds like it's a matter of consent, which is very common.
It will come down to whether you had a reasonable belief that she consented to the sexual activity.
Not easy to prove either way.
But please try not to panic.
If there was clear evidence you would already have been charged.
I remember all those feelings so well.
It's perfectly normal to feel that way, and it doesn't feel like it now, but they will pass.

If you are interviewed again do not say anything without a solicitor.
It's not a friendly chat, although the police may lead you to believe so.

If you are charged (and you may not be) the most important thing to do is get a specialist solicitor, whether private or legal aid, it must be one who knows these cases.

In the meantime, as I said, don't panic!
Wrote down as much as you remember and keep it safe.
You may never need it but it'll help you focus.
It's a bumpy ride but hold on tight and you'll get through it.
YoH

[Bob1234]

Thank you guys.

You always read of such cases but you never imagine this could happen to you.
I am in a bad place at the minute but hopefully that will change. I can't even imagine if I were to be charged the amount of stress it would cause me and my family, knowing full well I have done nothing wrong.

I know some of you have been through this before but trying to resume your life like nothing has happened is a challenge. To think the person who has done this to you will get anomity, support whilst I didn't even get a booklet on who too contact after being released is just awful.

As mentioned the next potential 12 weeks will be hell. If they make a decision sooner do they let you know? To think they could even push it back is heart wrenching

[YearsOfHell]

They might do.
You won't be a priority though.
There will be real crimes with actual evidence which they can get their conviction rates up with.
I believe forensics are always busy so 12 weeks might be a bit optimistic.
But you really never know, it could be over much sooner.
If they decide there's no point in pursuing it they should let you know.
As always the advice is:
Hope for the best - Prepare for the worst.
YoH

[Franticwithworry]

Hi Bob1234. I echo everything that YearsofHell has said, and couldn't say it better. Rest assured that what you're feeling right now is normal, but be gentle with and kind to yourself. As the shock subsides things will seem more manageable.

3 months seems like forever now and they could throw it out sooner but it might be longer. There's no way of telling. Once you're in the system, you're at their mercy, but knowing that and being at peace with it will come and make it all easier to bear. Don't pin your hopes on any particular scenario - honestly, just going with the flow at this point is the best thing to do.

As I said, the advice you've had already is spot on, so I won't repeat it, but will just say that I'm glad you've got support in the real world, and that there is support here for as long as you need it. Hang in there - the panic will subside in a while.

[Soanxious]

Hello all,

I have stumbled on this forum this week after a traumatic weekend. I just want to say thank you to all first as I have read a lot of posts on this matter

Spend 14 hours in the cell and my life is crashing before my eyes. I'm on bail and still have 12 weeks before any update ! Phone is taken off me etc.

Is this 12 weeks normal? I can't even function at work and have booked to see a counsellor tomorrow. I have done nothing wrong here as there was consent. Any advice opinions will be great

So sorry to see your post, but glad you found this forum, it is full of very useful help and sound advice and was a great help to me. You will still be feeling very raw, and as others have said the emotions you are feeling are perfectly normal under the circumstances. Seeing a counsellor is good. You will get through this but be prepared for both good and bad days. Unfortunately a 12 week wait (or even longer) seems to be the norm.

[Bob1234]

Hi All,

just trying to get on with my life, and to be honest its quite hard. I have a couple of questions if that is okay? Hopefully someone can help me out who has/known someone in a similar situation..

1) from what i have read there should be an officer in charge. Am i allowed to contact this person for an update on the case? i did message the legal aid provided and she simply said along the lines of "there won't be any update until closer to your bail date" which is still a couple of months away

2) my case surrounds intoxication and consent. they are probably gathering evidence however i am nervously curious that do cases like this - my word against her's can they be NFA'd? or do they have to go to court?

3) as it was after a night out and being in a bar before hand... what kind of evidence would they require to convict me

as I've said before.. i am innocent and i cannot fathom being charged or even worse for a crime i have not committed

[Bob1234]

also i have left this all in the hands of the legal aid provided. however as they are gathering evidence is it worth getting my own solicitor. will they do anything different compared to the legal aid provided? is it worth it?

[Youngscared]

Dear Bob1234,

I have found myself in a very very similar situation. Met a girl in a club and had sex, we were both intoxicated but I clearly stated we were both fully aware. It was also consented but the girl is saying it wasn't and has made claims I forced it. To top it off she has a boyfriend which she failed to mention to me at the club & before sex. They told me they will want to check the club cctv for reasons which I imagine will show evidence she was all over me and willingly took part in being intimate with me.

I found work hard to cope too but you have to just get on with it, try and get out and reach out to a friend. My bail is 8 weeks I'm hoping to get an NFA notice before, hang in there brother your not alone in this one!

I've already got the rumours flying around and my social life will soon crumble, even once proven innocent.

[Bob1234]

Youngscared,

Thank you for your reply. And it's an unfortunate situation us both going through this. Maybe we can keep each other updated on proceedings as my bail is in 10 weeks.

Have you made any contact with officer in charge? And have you kept the legal aid provided. It's awful how your name has been made in the public domain and I sincerely wish you all the best.

Can anyone else help on the questions I posted above? Just for a bit of peace of mind. Please be a blunt as possible

I am 25 and feel like my life is ruined

[Youngscared]

I was told the OIC may want me back in for further questions if any more evidence comes to light. Haven't had any further contact with my legal aid. I know the feeling I've just turnt 20 myself and will not be able to cope being labelled as something like this.

[Franticwithworry]

Theres nothing stopping you asking the officer in charge (OIC) for an update, but they probably won't have much to tell you until nearer your bail date. A solicitor can't do much for you before you are charged, but its as well to be prepared so if the duty solicitor you had isn't experienced in false sexual accusations, find one that is and have a chat with them so that you have someone you trust available to be act for you if you're charged.

There are a lot of good solicitors recommended on this site, legal aid as well as private, on the 'stickied' thread. That said, don't be worried about getting charged at this point. Yes, its a possibility but it's not a foregone conclusion. Lots of people find that no further action (NFA) is taken.

Write down everything you can think of relating to the accusation, keep it in a safe place and be prepared for a long wait. Try not to dwell too much on worst case scenarios if you can manage it. Nothing is guaranteed in these things and false accusations are much more common than most people think. Hang in there and there is much support here for you both.

There's no way of telling - some cases that are based on consent get NFA'd and others go all thw way to court. Im sure others who have been through the process on those grounds will come in with some advice. Its so sad, in fact awful, that so many young men are being falsely accused in this way. It makes me ashamed of being female.

Please be assured though that many, too many, young men have lived through this. You will too.