Please read - Update

[FalselyaccusedScared]

Hi,

I haven't been on here for a while now, I have come over and been reading her forum often but simply tried my best to believe I wasn't stuck in this nightmare myself.

Basically since last posting, I've been rebailed three times.
First was because the forensics of my mobile phone hadn't yet been completed, second was due to them needing further time for something never disclosed and the final time was after the CPS face to face meeting; they were advised to go away and obtain further evidence, whatever that means.


So, my life is still in limbo. I live each day wondering if this is it for me, and as I actually write this here now I have teats running down my face.

I am innocent. We are innocent. Yet, this "system" allows those who are dangerous and wishing to get quick revenge do just that.

My life will never ever be the same again now, whatever happens and whatever way this goes.
I'm not the person I was before my arrest, my personality has changed, I don't enjoy life anymore or the little things.

I had a desire to make something of my life but now I simply have the desire to end it.

I barely eat, sleep and even when I don't think of it the damage already done shows its effects.

My whole life is ruined and many may say, it'll get better, you'll get better in time, the damage is already done.

How can it be fair, right and okay to make such a vile, nasty false allegation, ruin someone's life and then get away with it?

She's living the life of luxury no doubt, Police nursing her, comforting her when in fact she's the criminal!

Honestly, maybe some of you are a lot stronger than me, but if it comes to it, and I end up charged with this knowing full well I didn't do it, I'm sorry but like I've told my legal team, that charge will be enough for my life to be over and I already have a plan in place.

I won't sit inside for 15 years for something I HAVENT done and NEVER ever would of.


Maybe one day someone with some sense will relook at the law and change the charging procedure on Rape, so there MUST be evidence.

Maybe that day I never see, but whatever happens to me, I AM INNOCENT AND I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG.


I am INNOCENT but sadly people who make false complaints are those most protected by this unthought lousy legal system.

[Pond31]

Dear Falselyaccusedscared

I am sorry to hear that you are so down but we all understand it as we have all gone threw it or are still going threw it. I know it seems you are in a deep dark hole and there is nobody there to help while you FA is up there in the light getting all the sympathy and support. Unfortunately there is no denying that she probable is. The justice system, the media and Social Justice Warriors (SJW) are all on her side but din't forget we are your brothers and sisters of suffering and are here for you. The investigation part of my case finished yesterday and I am now free from bail. When my case started I never thought it would end but I now I do. I am not as good as some of our knowledgeable brothers and sisters on here but the fact the CPS told them to go away and get more evidence is a good sign not a bad one. Do something fun everyday and realise that "This too shall pass".

Take Care
Pond31

[YearsOfHell]

FAS
It is life changing but by no means life ending!
You're obviously feeling distraught and rightly so.
And the horror stories of spending years in prison whilst completely innocent are truly worrying.
But, there are positives so far.
You've still not been charged so any evidence cannot be conclusive and so highly refutable IF you find yourself in court. And you still may not be charged.
However, If (and it's a big IF) the complainant convinces a jury, you still have the appeal process.
Try and stay positive throughout the entire process, however far it goes.
Nothing is worth losing your life.
You are precious, and irreplaceable.
Don't let them take that from you for something that never happened.
I can't promise this will all be fine.
But you're not alone and we will be here to support you through it.
Fight it!
Go and see the GP and get some help asap.
You need to talk it through with someone qualified.
Big hugs
YoH

[Peter1975]

Maybe one day someone with some sense will relook at the law and change the charging procedure on Rape, so there MUST be evidence.

Maybe that day I never see, but whatever happens to me, I AM INNOCENT AND I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG.


I am INNOCENT but sadly people who make false complaints are those most protected by this unthought lousy legal system.

You have succumbed to what can only be described as the paranoia of the groups and you need to keep things in perspective.

It may seem that the system is out to get you and just cares about the numbers but I don't think that's at all true. The police and CPS simply have a very difficult job deciding what should be put in front of a jury and the police, desperate not to be seen as insensitive to a potential victim of a sex attack, are hamstrung from doing investigative work and asking questions in certain cases.

This means that some of the investigative work is now done in the courtroom but over 80% of complaints are NFA and the likelihood of a conviction for something you didn't do is still very small.

Even if you are charged you have every good chance of being found not guilty providing you keep your head on straight and deal with things and that is providing the CPS don't withdraw the case before trial. There is always hope.

Think about it this way: Back in the 1970's a woman goes to the police and says she has been raped. "pull the other one" they say and she is asked difficult questions and probably withdraws her complaint. If someone wanted to lie about being raped they would first be cross examined by the police before anyone was charged. Now that woman is supported and isn't asked any difficult questions until she takes the witness stand. Many of them are totally unprepared for this shocking turn of events and the lies are exposed.

One myth that is repeated often in the groups is that you can be charged with "no evidence". A first hand account of an alleged offence IS evidence. That evidence can be total lies of course but what you are effectively calling for is to legalise rape.

A quick look in my local paper reveals 4 historical CSA cases recently, all of them pled guilty with no evidence except the word of the accuser relating what happened 20-30 years ago. Should they have gotten away with their crimes because there was "no evidence"?

The fault lies mostly with the liars abusing the law for whatever twisted reason they have and your defence, should you need one, will be your responsibility. In the meantime you need a straight head. You haven't been charged and may not be.

[Mr B]

@Peter1975: For the avoidance of doubt there IS a financial motive for a wife (usually) to allege a FA or either DV or CSA - as a conviction (wrongful though it may be) will be considered as "conduct" in a Divorce. The Divorce Courts would be wrong not to recognise "conduct" (a conviction even a wrongful one) as leading to the marital breakdown. Hence if the wrongful conviction actually happens, the FA can now petition for 100% of the wrongfully convicted individuals assets.

I would suggest that is clear motive enough. As a male you cannot successfully recover from this even if NFA'd etc as whilst you are on bail a slander & libel campaign is waged that only if you have £70K AFTER divorce can you really pursue.

The above is exactly what my wife tried to execute against me. Only evidence being her allegation. The child did not disclose in ABE. So far I am aware of 6 (six) allegations made over the last year resulting in my initial arrest & then 2 ABE's & 2 Statements. The default position of the Police & CPS is actually aiding the FA & sweet Fanny Adams is considered re credibility until you get to Court. Researching UK law so far the highest number of allegatison / ABE's is 23 allegations & 10 ABE's in a custody dispute.


So given the fact that I was handcuffed & escorted out of my home that I literally slaved to buy outright by the Crown & its agents, I will not hear that the CPS & Police have it hard. They do not. They get away with being the instrument of an FA & saying "I am just doing my job" as though that on a personal basis is enough to excuse them using some element of common sense around matters.

With the latest tranche of FA's happening this month, CSA is the "gift that keeps on giving" for the FA.

Mr B

[Franticwithworry]

Hey, hey hey!! Hold on there!

Your life isn't ruined and it isn't over. You've a mountain to climb that isn't if your own making, but climb it you can and climb it you must - for all the people in your life who love you and believe in your innocence, as well as yourself.

You haven't been charged and there's no guarantee you will be. Even if you are, there's no guarantee that you will be found guilty and even less likelihood that you'll spend 15 years in jail.

Climb down off the panic pedestal, and remember that many more people get through this than spend a single moment in jail wrongfully.

Hopefully, today is a bad day and things will be better tomorrow. If not, please ask your GP for some help. Living in this level of panic is not necessary and is detrimental to your health. There's no shame in asking for help - you deserve it. There's no shame in struggling with what you're going through - it's devastating.

Don't let it kill you. That's letting the accuser win.

[Jan11]

Hello. And slow down. I understand your mind is racing at a million miles an hour but the majority of people on this forum have been there and know exactly how you are feeling. We're here to help you through it too.

Please talk to your GP. They will talk to you about your options. There is no weakness in that. Going through this will probably be one of the most difficult experiences of your life.

Don't give up, there is still hope.

[joebloggs]

As someone who has just had the dreaded extension of bail, which at times feels more like a blessing than a curse because you're not being charged.

I can empathise with you in this, last night i laid awake whilst the love of my life held onto me like she knew I was getting a phonecall today that was bad news. It killed me inside, although the phonecall was 50/50 no charge but its being reviewed and I am to be rebailed, it is still something to drawer a positive from.

I thought of a saying earlier that the sun is always shining, sometimes we just cant see it. Currently its the middle of the day here in the UK, but australia is in darkness. This doesn't mean that the sun isn't there. It will rise again.

I appreciate your feelings of depression and despair. Please try to find a way to turn them into feelings of perserverance and positivity. Start with trying to be positive about positivity.

This is a long road, filled with many unexpected turns but you must stay true and know the only destination at the end is freedom.

Stay strong,

JB

[Peter1975]

Nevermind. daftmoo is open to everybody.

[Lucky]

When facing these kinds of allegations, it can feel like your world has collapsed around you.

the most important thing I would say, is to remain calm and focussed. This is just a PART of your life, not everything, although it may seem like it right now.

The only way to fight, or even to cope with it, is to understand that it may hurt you, but wont break you.

Keep your mind focused. Speak to a counsellor, a lawyer, a friend, anything. Talk to us.

But don't give up.

good luck

[FalselyaccusedScared]

Thank you for all your replies, without disrespect, this nightmare has and will change my life forever.

Prior to my arrest me and my partner had been planning a family together, and lots of other plans all of which have been robbed from me.

Since my arrest I haven't been the person I once was, the person who would of helped anyone in their time of need, someone who gave money to people when they looked like they needed help, someone who myself has been through repeated heartbreak throughout my life.5


I am innocent but all the words of wisdom, hope, people saying things will get better, I'm not well enough physically or mentally to stand trial for something I have never done and never would do.
I promise you, each and every one of you as god as my witness I am totally, 150% innocent.

But if I am to be charged I will never ever have the life I wanted, that will be the end for me, like the life support machine being turned off.

I am in tears every day, they say things get better in time but for me its got worser each and every day.
I've started having nightmares of being in court and it scares me, a grown man.
I woke up in tears the other night.

I sit in the dark some nights thinking, is this it for me, is this the end of the road for me.

I am not strong enough to face what could happen, being falsely imprisoned for years, I can't do it.

Maybe that won't happen, but how many cases have we heard of people who have been sent down when innocent.
Some when they appeal they get out. The conviction overturned but they've still had years of their lives stolen from them.


I'd never ever hurt anyone or ever do what has been alleged and I'm sorry, if the day comes that I be charged, that's the day I will leave this world because there is no justice, the people who lie and ruin lives are protected.


I'm again in tears, but I refuse to be charged for a crime I haven't committed.


How ANYONE could ever do this to someone and lie, ruin their life forever, I WILL NEVER understand and im sorry but I've lost all hope that this world is a nice place to live in, its full of so many hurtful and dishonest people.


To the person who falsely accused me, you will never see this but thank you for ruining my life, that of my partners, my family's, and thanks for being so cruel and evil.
Maybe one day you'll realise your lies have ruined so many lives and I hope when that hits you, it haunts you for the rest of your life.


:'-(


Broken hearted, my soul has been robbed from me :-(

[YearsOfHell]

There's no disrespect at all
You need help.
Your feelings are normal but we here are not qualified to help you with how you are feeling.
You must go straight to your GP.
I am so worried about you because you are valuable and irreplaceable.
Go and get the help you are entitled to,
Your GP will help you, and I am concerned that there will be a bit of time before any treatment you receive will take effect. Time is of the essence.
You must promise me you will.
I am Not going to lose you over someone's lies!
Go and get help ASAP
Please!!
YoH

[Franticwithworry]

You are not being disrespectful and at present you are absolutely correct that you are not physically or mentally capable of standing trial at the moment. The trauma you have suffered is at its height and has made you ill.

You are innocent, and I believe that. I also believe that that the trauma is telling you that your life is ruined, your soul is destroyed and that life will never be the same again.

Please, browse the forum some more and you will see that it is possible to survive this. It is very likely that you will receive a NFA result. The statistics bear that out. Focus on that for now, not whether or not you will be charged. Reclaiming you life and having the family you want is entirely within the bounds of possibility. Focus on what you can change, not what the trauma is telling you is inevitable.

Please understand that your 'flight or fight' response is in overdrive at the moment. It's a mental health issue that you need and can get help with. Your feelings and responses are very real, but they are out of control, but there are ways of getting the control back.

Believe it or not, you've taken the first step by articulating the problem. It's hard to actually describe this terrible stage you're going through and all praise to you for doing it. Please, now take big breaths and take the next step. You wouldn't try to walk on a broken leg unless you'd taken steps to support it and help it heal, would you? Your brain is the same. It's hurt and damaged and needs help to recover.

Please, as I say, take the next step. Anything less lets the FA win, and I don't believe that either you or your partner want that. I'm not going to tell you anything more about what will or will not happen, but I do encourage you to please, take charge of what's going on so far as you are able.

Please, talk to your doctor, ask something to help you sleep if you need it, listen to whatever else he suggests might be helpful. Ask about counselling too, and give yourself some time. That broken leg I spoke of takes time to heal and your brain is no different. The damage you have suffered cannot be overestimated, but no-one here wants to see you sink under it all and I'm sure your partner doesn't want that either.

Many, many people have climbed this mountain. I promise you that it need not be a brick wall.

[Peter1975]

Thank you for all your replies, without disrespect, this nightmare has and will change my life forever.

I am in tears every day, they say things get better in time but for me its got worser each and every day.
I've started having nightmares of being in court and it scares me, a grown man.
I woke up in tears the other night.


I'd never ever hurt anyone or ever do what has been alleged and I'm sorry, if the day comes that I be charged, that's the day I will leave this world because there is no justice, the people who lie and ruin lives are protected.


To the person who falsely accused me, you will never see this but thank you for ruining my life, that of my partners, my family's, and thanks for being so cruel and evil.
Maybe one day you'll realise your lies have ruined so many lives and I hope when that hits you, it haunts you for the rest of your life.

Like I said, you need to get things in perspective. At the moment there has been an allegation and the police have to investigate. That is all. The odds of a NFA are well stacked in your favour.

It is quite normal to find yourself in tears. You are the victim of a wicked lie. I'm a grown man too and I am still prone to tears 3 months since my NG verdict. I may never be the same again but I can still be a person that I like.

A visit to your doctor is essential, you will only hurt yourself and family more if you give in to this despair. The Samaritans are always there to listen : 116 123

FASO have a helpline open weekday evenings, they are excellent : http://www.false-allegations.org.uk/

There is justice. I got it, there were 2 NG's in the groups just yesterday and you can read the brilliant terrifieddad's and farmer42's posts on here for just two recent examples of how you can find the wisdom, courage and strength to prevail. I found court more surreal than scary and although it is gruelling, it is not nearly as bad as you imagine. It is nothing like TV and although the whole thing was not funny, I did find myself chuckling at the absurdity of it all sometimes.

Do not expect the liar to develop a conscience. Whatever their motives, your demise is not likely to bother them in the slightest but imagine their face if the police tell them there will be NFA... and if you must look too far ahead, imagine them struggling to lie in the witness box or their twisted rage when the jury don't believe their horrible lies. Don't give up.

-----------------------------

My apologies to Mr B for my rather harsh response above. If I could edit or remove the post I would. We are all friends here.

Peter