Life in turmoil

[YearsOfHell]

It's so slow!
Look at the positives, if the case was obvious against your son, they would've charged him at the start!
It doesn't sound like they're planning on doing much this time either.
Hang in there
It's an uphill crawl!!
YoH

[Franticwithworry]

The good thing - no news is good news. The bad thing - this is a horribly long and slow process and no-one in authority considers the accused or their mental state with all this worry.

Think of it this way, though - if your son's bail date is on the OIC's rest days, or he's out of the office for any other reason, he should have looked in his diary and planned ahead. The fact that he didn't plan ahead for this bail date shows that it's not a priority in his mind. Now I know that it's a huge deal to you and your son, but there is a hierarchy for the police when it comes to dealing with cases. The ones that they have little to no evidence for go on the back burner while they concentrate on the ones they can get a quicker result for.

As long as things are quiet, try to stay calm too. Your son needs to attend tomorrow unless he's told otherwise by the police, as the last thing he needs is a 'failure to attend' charge, but it seems that the likeliest thing to happen right now is that he'll be told that the OIC isn't available and be given a new date.

It's a pain, it's a drag, it's a worry and it's not right, but the wheels of this system are broken. There's not a lot you can do while you're still on the cart but be patient. It WILL end, but in some ways, a delay or two along the way isn't a bad thing.

Hang in there! We're on the cart with you.

[Stressed out mother]

He just got another email fom solicitors.......
I have contacted the police again on your behalf. There is a note on the system to suggest that they may be seeking a further re-bail as the Crown Prosecution Service has not yet made a decision in relation to the investigation.

I have asked DC P...........to contact GS(sons solicitor) directly once he is fully aware. If there is to be a new bail date we have requested that your attendance tomorrow be excused.


Looks like it will go to the wire before we know about him attending! Wonderful system for people who are still trying to keep their jobs! Not knowing whether arrangements made for interviews will be cancelled etc, must make the situation even worse for many people. After all not many employers will be accomodating to people wanting to swop days off at a moments notice!

I have said to son, surely if there was sufficient evidence to prove her accusation he would be charged. Would be interesting to know whether CPS has even looked at it yet!

[Franticwithworry]

Indeed. To say there is no consideration for the accused is an understatement. My man has had multiple rebail dates and booked the date off for every one. He hasn't had to attend yet, though he didnt get notification until the day itself sometimes. He ended up with a day's holiday with no purpose to it. The system is a mess.

[Stressed out mother]

Someone is taking the p

Well at 10.10 son received an email from solicitor to say that at last OIC had been in contact! Apparently CPS have not looked at the file so he has been re-bailed to 7 March!
Our confidence in the police and legal system ius hitting an all time low, if this type of allegation is considered extremely serious, what chance does anyone stand and I speak for people who have honestly suffered at the hands oif others at this point!
Suffice to say it is definitely getting to us. The fact that the police seem quite happy to ignore arranged bail dates and not even be available to attend them themselves is just unbelievable.
My heart goes out to everyone who finds themselves in this situation.

[YearsOfHell]

It's horrible!
I really feel for you all, it's still so raw for us.
Just remember you will get through this.
Hang in there!!
YoH

[Franticwithworry]

I know it's all very frustrating but bail dates are really just 'diary notes' and a reminder to review if no progress has been made. That 'review' might simply to be to tell the accused that nothing has happened yet to bring progress. Yes, these charges are very serious but there is a whole range of seriousness and urgency within that.

Whether we like it or not the police and the CPS are understaffed and under resourced. The cases with least evidence generally get dealt with last. Of course we all want a speedy decision, but isn't it better to wait a bit longer for the right one?

It's agonising I know, but please, try to relax a little about the waiting part. There really is nothing can be done but endure it. Perhaps when it's over, you can channel the anger into campaigning for change but for now you risk making yourself ill.

It WILL end, but not any quicker for worrying. If it helps, take a look at the Sir Richard Henriques report online. It's easilt found if you google it. You might draw some comfort from seeing that some in authority do see that change is needed, even though it will only come slowly and doesn't help right now.

Hang in there - March isn't very far away.

[Stressed out mother]

The same little dance!

Well once again its the email the solicitor, no info so solicitor contacts police to find that.........yes one in charge off so rebailed until 31st March!! So the dance continues........l

[Stressed out mother]

Worried for what the outcome might be

So today son was yet again rebailed to attend police. Yet again there was only a confirmation after solicitor had once again chased up the people concerned.

But

He has been charged with two cases of rape and one of sexual assault. To appear at magistrates on may 3rd.
Whilst thee is a date for one case of alledged rape and the sexual assault the date for the other spans from
Between 01/10/2012 and 01/02/2013

Saying we are devastated in an understatemnet. This girl has lived off our family for a number of years and now she is making these allegations, because he accused her of taking his money.

I presume that now our solicitor will be getting a barrister to defend in court. Apart from the possibility of actually being convicted we are also panicking about his son who is nearly two. There are already stained relations with son and mother and so far we have avoided saying anything. However little un is starting to talk so saying he didnt see daddy could cause even more problems.

[Goodguy]

Looking to the future

I know we spoke breifly last night when you offered me advice but nowniv read your story i just wanted to send my regards again. Hopefully with you havig a magistrates court date coming up im hoping for you and your son that it will move to crown court very fast. I spoke to my partner today amd apparently he has to wait for a letter to say when it will be at magestraites.

From what iv read on here yes it will now be time for the solicitor to find a barrister although i dont know personally as were still hoping to change solicitors. and then you should be able to get a copy of her statements after magistrates to be able to then know what exactly was said and then you can link any evidence you have to it like the photos and comments. My partners dad sadly went through this ordeal a number of years ago and he said he went through with a pen and highlighted anything that didnt add up. Gave a copy back to his solicitor and to kept a copy to take to court. The smallest thing that he found that was key was that shed accused im of it been after school but then claimed it was august. Noone in the case had questioned the fact but he did in court.

As for your grandson i understand your worry, sadly social serivces stopped my partner seeing his children 3 months after hed gone in for questionning unless supervised and their mum refused. But if this happens dont worry i am positive your son is strong enough to get through this and it wont be forever as soon as this battle is over he can get his child back. I did wonder how we would cope when it happened but you find the strength and some days will be harder than others, ours was xmas as we still have thier gifts sat waiting now. And birthdays. But he is fighting through it and i reassure him they wont forget him and it will be over after this next hurdle.

Wish you all the luck in the world, and keep checking in if it wasnt for findig this site i dont think id be coping