Advice on how to present myself during interview?

[Pond31]

Hi

I am returning to the police station in January at which point I will give an statement to the police. I have been advised by my solicitor to give one but was wondering how to approach it as my head is pickled. I know they will ask me a lot of questions but they only need to ask one that is "Did you rape and sexually assault XX" because all I will have to say is NO. I don't understand why they ask me so many questions in my first duty solicitor advised "no comment" interview. "Did I visit x's flat." So what if I did or didn't visiting a flat with permission is not a crime. I have a strong feeling my solicitor wants me to be open honest and answer all the questions but I shall have to talk to them about that.

[Shocked777]

Hi

I am returning to the police station in January at which point I will give an statement to the police. I have been advised by my solicitor to give one but was wondering how to approach it as my head is pickled. I know they will ask me a lot of questions but they only need to ask one that is "Did you rape and sexually assault XX" because all I will have to say is NO. I don't understand why they ask me so many questions in my first duty solicitor advised "no comment" interview. "Did I visit x's flat." So what if I did or didn't visiting a flat with permission is not a crime. I have a strong feeling my solicitor wants me to be open honest and answer all the questions but I shall have to talk to them about that.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert nor have I had any legal training. All my comments are based on my own experience being falsely accused as well as my experience in my career which has a lot of crossover with interviews.

The concern you have, understandably, is saying something potentially incriminating when you're entirely innocent. This is natural for someone who has been FAd. Memory is a funny old thing, and the more research experts conduct the less reliable our memories are seeming to be. In my opinion it's important to caveat your answers with "I can't remember exactly" or "the specific chronology may be wrong". Because the truth is, you can't remember exactly what happened at which stage and what was said in what order. Don't try to be sure. Police aren't stupid. They are well-versed in interviewing liars and the innocent. They use a phrase called 'demeanour'. As I understand it this is legalese for 'suspect behaved in a way you would expect someone to be telling the truth to behave'. This can't be faked and nor should it need to be.

Don't lie. At all. You've done nothing wrong. Don't try to act in a manner in which you THINK You should. Just be frank, full, honest and don't try to fill gaps in your memory. Stick to everything you know but be clear you can't remember every precise detail with complete clarity.

There's may be a temptation to be angry with the FA, refer to him/her negatively. Stay cool and calm and deny the false allegations robustly.

Lastly, you may be embarrassed or ashamed to talk about any specifics of sexual interaction. You may feel the need to play down any consensual contact, sexually explicit messages etc. I wouldn't do this. I was praised by my solicitor for how frank and open I was about the incident. For example in explaining how myself and the FA met, i explained that we got chatting originally and after a short while I said something to the effect of 'I'm only Here for one night, so if you're interested it will have to be a one night stand' to which she responded eagerly that she would. I explained hay I'm very forthright with things like this.

At the end of the interview they will put some allegations to you made by the FA and anything which contradicts a what she has said in your statement. It's possible these will be bare faced lies, as they were in mine. Keep your cool and refute them emphatically.

In summary, tell the truth, be frank and open. Keep your calm. You are telling the truth. Her lies will be undone. Inconsistencies will appear.

You'll be fine. Any more questions send them my way.

[Pond31]

hmm the problem is I don't believe I SHOULD be grilled by the police for a crime I didn't not commit. They should simply ask me did I rape or sexually assault my FA. I would say no and that is the end of my statement. All other information is irrelevant as I have not committed a crime. They are only asking other questions in an attempt to trip me up in someway or gather more information for the PROSECUTION not in -order to ensure a fair and balanced investigation.

[Franticwithworry]

hmm the problem is I don't believe I SHOULD be grilled by the police for a crime I didn't not commit. They should simply ask me did I rape or sexually assault my FA. I would say no and that is the end of my statement. All other information is irrelevant as I have not committed a crime. They are only asking other questions in an attempt to trip me up in someway or gather more information for the PROSECUTION not in -order to ensure a fair and balanced investigation.

The problem for the innocent is that even the guilty will deny that they have committed a crime. The police can will and should ask a variety of questions of anyone who is a suspect and that includes the ultimately innocent.

It's how you answer the questions that's important and if you only answer one, they don't have much to go on. You can do yourself a lot of favours with a good interview, even if some if the honest answers are 'I don't know' or 'I can't remember'. A solicitor will advice if a 'no comment' interview is in your best interests, but many are advised to be as open, truthful and honest as possible, for good reason.

[Pond31]

The problem I have is that I love my FA so much, I know if I target her that it will cause her distress. I wish I could just "hate her" but I cannot. I would rather die than cause her pain.

[Mr B]

Co-dependency issues I would respectfully suggest.

Have a read here & you may find out some useful information.

www.skrink4men.com

Kindest regards
Mr B

[Franticwithworry]

The problem I have is that I love my FA so much, I know if I target her that it will cause her distress. I wish I could just "hate her" but I cannot. I would rather die than cause her pain.

Mr B has a point. 'Love' is many-faceted and irrational.

Do you 'love' what she has done to you? Does she 'love' you by your definition of the word? We can experience feelings that do us harm - irrational anger and jealousy can get us into all sorts of trouble if we don't learn to control those emotions, for instance. Love is no different and we can choose not to love those who do us harm. That's not to say that we would wish them harm, or that we stop caring for them as human beings. We can care about those we have never met. Don't confuse 'care' with 'love'.

Destructive 'love' can and must be controlled just like any other emotion. It's not really love. It just feels like it.

Think too, of 'tough love' and it's applications. Sometimes we need to apply it to ourselves.

[Franticwithworry]

The problem I have is that I love my FA so much, I know if I target her that it will cause her distress. I wish I could just "hate her" but I cannot. I would rather die than cause her pain.

You don't need to hate her but you need to protect yourself from her. Any distress she feels because if you doing that is a product if her own actions and not your fault or responsibility.

[Casehardened]

The problem I have is that I love my FA so much, I know if I target her that it will cause her distress. I wish I could just "hate her" but I cannot. I would rather die than cause her pain.

I have a LOT of anger inside, currently however most it directed towards myself. I don't want to turn it outwards on others because the results could be very negative.

Perhaps you are deflecting the anger you might be expected to feel against your FA towards yourself?

[Lilyput]

To catch out real sex offenders i think my OH was repeatedly did you have any sexual contact with her even though he was accused rape. She was a few months under age and they obviously hoped they could catch him on a smaller offense but it was all fantasy so no dice.

You know your innocent keep that in your head tell the truth and don't let them make you doubt yourself. I think no comment might not sit well with the CPS or a jury should it come to that id be honest at interview then keep any evidenc to yourself after that. Keep strong you can do this.

[Pond31]

Yes I will be open and honest. I think this is the best idea. I think I will have to concentrate on looking after myself now. I shall keep active. Thanks for everyone's support and advice

[Silver]

Pond, Prior to interview I suggest you send an email/discuss statement with your solicitor, then they can advise so that you will feel more confident in presenting yourself at the interview. I think be very guided by what they are advising. good luck xx .

[xHatx]

just remember- if your case will be send to court ,all that you say on interview will be read on trial for jury
if you change your story even in small details- you will be accused of lie and asked why by prosecution
if you going keep silence on interview , again you will be accused of hiding the truth by prosecution before jury and asked why
but if you or your solicitor can explain to juries proper reasons for your silence -up to you- keep silence
even small things to what you don't pay attention now can proof your innocence,
if you can't remember events precisely yes as you already were advised, better honestly say I can't remember exactly or I am not sure

[Pond31]

I have to return to the police station on the 24th Jan but maybe sooner. I want to resolve the issue asap. I know the police will ask me questions that they will ask me again in court in order to attempt to show that I am lying if I differ from my story. The police do not seem to want to investigate the veracity of an accusation they are more interested in finding evidence to prove it and provided a conviction. I know my solicitor wants me to answer the questions open and honest but I am strongly leaning towards answering questions I feel are only relevant to the case. I was asked in my original "no comment" interview did I find the FA "attractive". Well this is an irrelevant questions as finding someone attractive does not mean that you will sexually assault them. I think I shall simple say "that is an irrelevant question" if this comes up again. I know some people would advise me just to do what my solicitor says but the thing is if I do then the same thing will happen to the next falsely accused down the line. I think I need to stand up for those who have been falsely accused and say "I am innocent until proven guilty so please provide PROOF" and "You should does this is a timely manner and not years down the line"

[Shocked777]

I have to return to the police station on the 24th Jan but maybe sooner. I want to resolve the issue asap. I know the police will ask me questions that they will ask me again in court in order to attempt to show that I am lying if I differ from my story. The police do not seem to want to investigate the veracity of an accusation they are more interested in finding evidence to prove it and provided a conviction. I know my solicitor wants me to answer the questions open and honest but I am strongly leaning towards answering questions I feel are only relevant to the case. I was asked in my original "no comment" interview did I find the FA "attractive". Well this is an irrelevant questions as finding someone attractive does not mean that you will sexually assault them. I think I shall simple say "that is an irrelevant question" if this comes up again. I know some people would advise me just to do what my solicitor says but the thing is if I do then the same thing will happen to the next falsely accused down the line. I think I need to stand up for those who have been falsely accused and say "I am innocent until proven guilty so please provide PROOF" and "You should does this is a timely manner and not years down the line"

Your thoughts are great in principle but unfortunately you are now in a system, set on a course and you need to do what is in your best interest.

A simple question such as 'do you find her attractive?' may seem irrelevant to you but it is part of a theme, a pathway of questions the police are asking. You are right, they are not trying to establish the truth at this stage, it is far more likely that they are trying to establish your guilt. The police and the CPS make a decision on charging based, in large, to the likelihood of you getting a conviction. Being difficult and not answering simple questions is something that they can use at court against you. Remember at a trial it is a JURY they are trying to convince, not a learned legal expert. Someone who is difficult, potentially evasive and obstructive, will look suspicious to a jury.

You need to play the game. You need to think long term. The gold standard would be for you to not be charged - but that is out of your hands. If the worst happens and you go to a trial you need to consider how everything is going to look to a jury.

'standing up' for anyone in this situation is futile, and to be blunt; naive. Nobody involved in your case is going to care about the cause of those FAd. Their aim is to send someone to court where they think they have a good chance of a conviction. Look after yourself.

It does strike me as quite counter-intuitive that you wouldn't want to answer seemingly innocuous questions. Is there another reason for this? Is it that you're very concerned that you may inadvertently incriminate yourself? You need to think very carefully about this because what you say in the interview could have a huge impact on how your case progresses.

As before my advice is to be frank and honest. Keep your cool and if you don't remember something, just say you don't remember. A top level barrister told me that other than a confession, a 'mixed' interview is the second best outcome for the police (that is giving frank answers to some questions but 'no comment' to difficult or incriminating ones).