Scared and suicidal - Somebody help (FA sexual assault)

[Fusiondoe]

Hi there,

I remember going through the same thought process as you are and had mentally prepared myself for prison but it did me no favours in terms of my mental state. I know it's hard but please try to stay positive, I went through a 5 day trial and was found NG after less than 30 mins deliberation 3 years back so keep strong knowing the truth does come out in the end.

It's a horrible situation to be in and you are living in the constant fear of uncertainty and hate to think of future plans because you are uncertain what it's going to be, I know the mental torture you are going through. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, you will get through this.

Thanks Edinguy

Trial has been put back to August now as the Accuser is on holiday apparently.... So me and the Mrs have booked 10 days in Cyprus, 5 star hotel all inclusive in the middle of July!!! Spent a fortune but I need it... never needed a holiday so much before.

Part of me is grateful that I have quite a while before I go to court (in case I am found guilty and go to jail) yet the other half wants to go to court tomorrow and prove her wrong!

[mrunknown]

Thanks Edinguy

Trial has been put back to August now as the Accuser is on holiday apparently.... So me and the Mrs have booked 10 days in Cyprus, 5 star hotel all inclusive in the middle of July!!! Spent a fortune but I need it... never needed a holiday so much before.

Part of me is grateful that I have quite a while before I go to court (in case I am found guilty and go to jail) yet the other half wants to go to court tomorrow and prove her wrong!

Hey mate how did you get on?

[Franticwithworry]

mrunknown, Fusiondoe hasn't logged in since May. Like you I hope all went well for him.

[Fusiondoe]

Trial put back again

Sorry guys!

Trial was put back again to February because there was nobody available to be an intermediary to help ‘her understand things better’, and she will be behind a screen as well so she doesn’t have to face me ... lol purleaaaase! Honestly you couldn’t write this stuff... coward!!!

Her brother who has now decided to give evidence also which is hilarious as his evidence is ‘he heard me and her talking about going for a cigarette’ - He also has chosen to be behind a screen!!! Why won’t none of them face me the gutless lieing *****

Aside from that there is nothing to report except that my solicitor sent me her statement and there are a lot of inconsistencies and she has changed several points from her original statement.
Also when they tried to gain access to her phone to search through all the texts, her father had conveniently wiped the phone the day after she made the accusation to Police and sold it - Even my Solicitor is laughing now...

Tbh the whole thing is out of my mind now as it’s so laughable, I don’t want to get cocky but I really can’t see how this can go any other way but in my favour, of course I may be wrong but I’m beyond caring. The whole system is a joke and I will never ever ever again put my faith in the justice system so long as I live.

[Fusiondoe]

Ground rules hearing

UPDATE:

So on Feb 6th we now have a ground rules hearing to discuss how they are going to conduct the trial for the accuser with things such as pre prepared questions.

Is this some kind of joke... I want to scream from the rooftops at how much these people are being played! I am so sick of hearing how vulnerable she is!

Seriously had enough. It seems she is getting every single support available and I am getting nothing. It’s almost like they are attempting to make me be found guilty.

So what exactly happens at a ground rules hearing? Any first hand experiences

[Peter1975]

Hi FD.

I hope you are bearing up ok.

A ground rules hearing is pretty much what it says on the tin.

If the complainant is legally a child or classed as "vulnerable" ie has diagnosed learning difficulties, then they will go out of their way to make their giving evidence as easy as possible. I did attend a ground rules hearing but I can't remember a thing about it, not that I could hear much. - Make sure you ask for a hearing loop if you can't hear properly!

I think the jist of it is to make sure everything is in place so that there is no avoidable delay or waiting around and to decide on how long the comp can be questioned for without losing concentration. Having the questions pre approved by the judge is not necessarily a bad thing, it means they are less likely to interrupt the barrister for one thing.

The special measures are set out on the cps website :

https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/special-measures

The good news is that cases involving phone downloads have been all over the news lately and hopefully some of the jury will have been reading the papers, it is not going to reflect well on her even if you don't have all the messages yourself and should be straightforward to suggest to the jury that she was trying to hide something by destroying the messages.

Please let us know how you get on.

[Fusiondoe]

Hi FD.

I hope you are bearing up ok.

A ground rules hearing is pretty much what it says on the tin.

If the complainant is legally a child or classed as "vulnerable" ie has diagnosed learning difficulties, then they will go out of their way to make their giving evidence as easy as possible. I did attend a ground rules hearing but I can't remember a thing about it, not that I could hear much. - Make sure you ask for a hearing loop if you can't hear properly!

I think the jist of it is to make sure everything is in place so that there is no avoidable delay or waiting around and to decide on how long the comp can be questioned for without losing concentration. Having the questions pre approved by the judge is not necessarily a bad thing, it means they are less likely to interrupt the barrister for one thing.

The special measures are set out on the cps website :

https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/special-measures

The good news is that cases involving phone downloads have been all over the news lately and hopefully some of the jury will have been reading the papers, it is not going to reflect well on her even if you don't have all the messages yourself and should be straightforward to suggest to the jury that she was trying to hide something by destroying the messages.

Please let us know how you get on.

Thanks Peter

I seriously believe I am going to jail you know. You hear all these horror stories and every time I ask my solicitor how things are looking, he seems to get very vague and almost looks negative.

‘I think you come across well but obviously the texts cause us some concern’... It’s driving me mad because I feel as if he believes I’m going to get a guilty and won’t tell me.

I am also petrified of this cross examination process in case I forget something or accidentally say some thing wrong.... arghhhhh I just don’t know

I hate these last couple of weeks, seriously had enough

[YearsOfHell]

This is the living nightmare but you have to keep strong.
Hold your head high in court and be honest.
If you feel you may something wrong, then just remember this:
Stop and think before you answer
If the question can be answered with yes or no then just say yes or no.
The prosecution have a trick of staying quiet after you’ve spoken and you must resist the urge to say more than just the answer to the question.
Be clear and be truthful.
Remember, she will be cross examined too and for the first time her story will be scrutinised.
You’ve already had that from the police so know what to expect but she hasn’t.
You can do this, and it will soon be over.
Try and focus on your innocence.
You can’t be convicted of “sexual assault by text”!
You haven’t assaulted anyone!
Sending all the strength possible!!
Big hugs
YoH

[Fusiondoe]

This is the living nightmare but you have to keep strong.
Hold your head high in court and be honest.
If you feel you may something wrong, then just remember this:
Stop and think before you answer
If the question can be answered with yes or no then just say yes or no.
The prosecution have a trick of staying quiet after you’ve spoken and you must resist the urge to say more than just the answer to the question.
Be clear and be truthful.
Remember, she will be cross examined too and for the first time her story will be scrutinised.
You’ve already had that from the police so know what to expect but she hasn’t.
You can do this, and it will soon be over.
Try and focus on your innocence.
You can’t be convicted of “sexual assault by text”!
You haven’t assaulted anyone!
Sending all the strength possible!!
Big hugs
YoH

Hi Frantic

I know your right with what you say but that’s the issue. I have to convince them I did not.. as she puts it ‘put my hands down her pyjama bottoms and try and touch her vagina, then when she pushed me away I tried to force her bottoms down and bend her over’

This is what stresses me. What if the jury believe I did that when I didn’t

Sorry guys it must drive you all mad listening to me whine and be so negative but I just can’t help it any more

[Fusiondoe]

I think the main reason I’m so scared and stressed is because they are milking the fact she has slight autism so she is getting intermediary, video link, the complete works.

Al that goes through my head is that the jury are going to see this vulnerable 18/19 year old and feel sorry for her and convict me. The fact I have mental health issues doesn’t seem to be addressed and the psychologist that saw me under my Solicitors request decided I am ‘fit to stand trial’

So all i can see is this ending with ‘manipulative/nasty predator takes advantage of vulnerable autistic girl’ or something like that and I am going to be fed to the wolves. I just feel I have no chance whatsoever... Maybe I watch the news too often or read up cases too much but I feel because I am the man and she is the female that I have no chance of winning and she will be believed no matter what.... knowing my luck I will have an all female jury

[YearsOfHell]

It’s ok!
We know why you’re feeling how you feel.
No one can say it will all be fine because no one knows!
It could go horribly wrong and it’s better to accept this possibility.
But it could just as easily go the right way and you’ll be free to get on with your life.
Either way it’s not the end of your life and you will be ok.
Try not to second guess what might happen.
All you can do is keep calm and tell the truth.
As always - hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
It’s going to be tough but you will get through it.
And we’re here for you whichever way it goes.
You’ll get through it.
YoH

[YearsOfHell]

For one thing, why would you do any of that knowing full well that your girlfriend would be returning at any second!!

A jury would think that was very unlikely!!
(Even an all female jury!!)

[Fusiondoe]

For one thing, why would you do any of that knowing full well that your girlfriend would be returning at any second!!

A jury would think that was very unlikely!!
(Even an all female jury!!)

This is the sense I am hoping the jury have. This is what my solicitor has says and what I have said from the start. The Mrs could have walked in at any given moment she liked, I would never have stood a chance of not being caught, unless somebody can Pull their trousers up and and hers and sit down within the space of around 3 seconds.

I don’t know... I just don’t.

[Peter1975]

Thanks Peter

I seriously believe I am going to jail you know. You hear all these horror stories and every time I ask my solicitor how things are looking, he seems to get very vague and almost looks negative.

‘I think you come across well but obviously the texts cause us some concern’... It’s driving me mad because I feel as if he believes I’m going to get a guilty and won’t tell me.

I am also petrified of this cross examination process in case I forget something or accidentally say some thing wrong.... arghhhhh I just don’t know

I hate these last couple of weeks, seriously had enough

I can't promise that you're not going to jail FD but you do have a very good chance of the jury seeing through the lies and returning the correct verdict. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best as we say.

Good solicitors are usually non-committal so try not to worry about that and just concentrate on presenting yourself as best as you can.

There is some advice about facing cross examination in the useful information section and it's not the easiest thing to do but generally speaking if you keep calm, look at the jury while you talk, think about your answers and keep to the point without rambling you should be ok. You have the truth on your side so you shouldn't have much trouble remembering everything unlike the liar who may come undone themselves (they often do)

The most important thing is not to let the prosecutor rattle you or make you lose your temper. Looking bewildered and incredulous that you should find yourself in court should come naturally!

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/f...ul-Information

[Fusiondoe]

I can't promise that you're not going to jail FD but you do have a very good chance of the jury seeing through the lies and returning the correct verdict. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best as we say.

Good solicitors are usually non-committal so try not to worry about that and just concentrate on presenting yourself as best as you can.

There is some advice about facing cross examination in the useful information section and it's not the easiest thing to do but generally speaking if you keep calm, look at the jury while you talk, think about your answers and keep to the point without rambling you should be ok. You have the truth on your side so you shouldn't have much trouble remembering everything unlike the liar who may come undone themselves (they often do)

The most important thing is not to let the prosecutor rattle you or make you lose your temper. Looking bewildered and incredulous that you should find yourself in court should come naturally!

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/f...ul-Information

Thanks Pete. Will check out the link you provided!

I feel a lot more confident today then I did. Just because the more I think about how there is nothing in writing regarding the alleged offence, no dna, just her word against mine... makes me think that it must be hard to convict a person without evidence, surely? Surely you have to prove somebody’s guilt, actually PROVE IT!

I expect our justice system isn’t fair that way though so I won’t hold my breath