Scared and suicidal - Somebody help (FA sexual assault)

[Mr B]

In a bid to lighten the tone, but not make light of the situation my ex-wife, the FA, looked at me like filth. So do not take it to heart.

The Police do get it wrong - as the Police Community Liaison resource found out in Bristol this week, he was Tasered by the the local constabulary....

So expect the worst & plan for it. You will then be well prepared for the surprises along the route. Not all of them will be nasty.

You are not alone.

Mr B

[YearsOfHell]

Thank you MrB
I was having a rather bad day and I too felt that I was being more negative than necessary!
The tone needs to be lightened!!
There is every chance that this will all be dropped and then you can move on with your life.
You must be prepared to fight through it though.
It's not easy but be strong and you WILL get through it.
You must be strong and take whatever happens.
You won't feel strong all the time and that's fine.
But take the rough with the smooth and know there is a future after these things and it will be whatever you make it.
Sending strength to help you through.
Big big hugs
YoH

[Franticwithworry]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sorry too that you were treated so poorly. There does seem to be the thinking in the police force - and the general population- that anyone accused is guilty and anyone charged is REALLY guilty.

That said, there are exceptions and I have to say that when my man went back to the police station with permission to have his bail conditions altered, he was treated with nothing but courtesy and respect, and called 'Sir' or 'Mr .... ' throughout, from the officer at reception, to the Custody Sergeant. In a way, it makes the rude behaviour all the more reprehensible and unnecessary, but my point is that any further contact with the police may be different. They are not all horrible.

Don't forget too, that this is your chance for the accuser to be challenged. There are pros and cons to both NFA and charge. We don't get a choice, but you and a good legal team can take this opportunity to metaphorically take the case by the scruff of the neck, give it a good shake and make all the lies fall out. Not all charges get to trial, but if they do, be fully prepared and there is a good chance that a jury will see things for what they really are.

[Fusiondoe]

Hearing tomorrow

Hi again everybody

Just an update: I have my hearing at the Magistrates tomorrow! I believe it's where I plead guilty or not guilty (will be pleading NG obviously)

Can anybody tell me what happens tomorrow and what I should expect, also what happens after this? I have heard something about crown court in 18 days....?

[Peter1975]

Hi again everybody

Just an update: I have my hearing at the Magistrates tomorrow! I believe it's where I plead guilty or not guilty (will be pleading NG obviously)

Can anybody tell me what happens tomorrow and what I should expect, also what happens after this? I have heard something about crown court in 18 days....?

Hi,

Tomorrow you can expect a lot of waiting around before you are called. You should hopefully find your Sol and have time for a chat before you go into the courtroom. It will take no more than 10 minutes. It's known as a mode of trial hearing at the magistrates if I remember right and you will just have to confirm your name and you may enter a plea, you may not. For serious offences (indictable only) you are not allowed to enter a plea at this stage.

There will be up to 3 magistrates and they will hear the charges, look at the sentencing guidelines and decide whether or not it needs to be heard in crown court and give you a date to reappear. This will be within 2-3 weeks generally. You should be rebailed on the same conditions as the police bail and be free to go and get your suit ready for the plea and trial preparation hearing (PTPH) at the crown court.

There may be a journalist from the local rag in the courtroom. You will empty your pockets, pass through metal detectors and have handbags searched each time you go in to the building so leave your swiss army knife at home or it will be confiscated. Depending on the court, taking some change for vending machines is a good idea. Don't forget change for the car park.

The magistrates court will be full of local riff raff so watch your valuables. Take a newspaper or something. I was there 3 hours before I was called.

Good luck

[Fusiondoe]

Had my hearing

Magistrates offered me the chance to have the case tried there or in crown court! Solicitor advised I choose crown... Which I did.

Can a case be thrown out at the pre crown court hearing which I hav have in 2 weeks? Not getting my hopes up but a friend told me that can happen.

Also what happens at this hearing guys?

[Peter1975]

Magistrates offered me the chance to have the case tried there or in crown court! Solicitor advised I choose crown... Which I did.

Can a case be thrown out at the pre crown court hearing which I hav have in 2 weeks? Not getting my hopes up but a friend told me that can happen.

Also what happens at this hearing guys?

An "either way" offence gives you the option to be tried in front of a jury at the crown court. The advantages when you are innocent are that crown court trials examine evidence in more detail and juries are less likely to pass a guilty verdict than a magistrate.

The Plea and trial preparation hearing is easy enough for the defendant. Crown courts tend to run more or less on time so there should be less waiting around. You will enter the dock, the dock officer will take your phone (unless you give it to someone else) and tell you to stand when the judge enters. You just confirm your name and plead not guilty to each of the charges and answer any questions the judge may ask you - they are addressed as "your honour" (they may not ask you anything).

You will then be asked to sit down and the barristers and judge will discuss the evidence, number of witnesses etc and decide on how many days the trial will be scheduled to take. Listen carefully so you know what is going on. The judge will set dates for disclosure of evidence and unused material and lastly, set a date for the trial itself. None of these dates are set in stone. You will be bailed on the same conditions and be free to leave the court.

This may be one of the only times you will get to speak to your barrister so I urge you to go prepared with notes and questions and take further notes.

A case can be dropped by the cps at any time, even during the trial but I wouldn't hold your breath. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. The PTPH is not examining the strength or validity of the evidence, it is an administrative exercise merely preparing the trial and accepting a plea. The evidence will be tested in the trial itself.

Dress smart in case you get the same judge for the trial.

Good luck.

[Fusiondoe]

Trial starts

My Trial date hasn't been set for the 17th July 2017.

So fed up. Somebody kill me please

[Fusiondoe]

My Trial date hasn't been set for the 17th July 2017.

So fed up. Somebody kill me please

Has*** been set 17th July

[YearsOfHell]

My Trial date hasn't been set for the 17th July 2017.

So fed up. Somebody kill me please

No!
You can do this!
No one has questioned the liar until the trial.
They are treated as being believed all the way to the trial.
Now they're going to be scrutinised and it won't be pleasant for either of you but you have the benefit of knowing that what you're saying is the truth, they don't have that!
You will get through it.
So many of our members have.
Be strong!
We're all rooting for you!
YoH

[Peter1975]

Well said as usual YOH.

As far as I can see, the evidence against you is flimsy and the evidence you have in your defence, your GF and the text messages with the FA afterward will set the jury thinking.My first question would be why would you do such a thing if your GF was expected at any moment? It's madness that cases like yours reach court. Sadly this is the world we live in at the moment.

Court is daunting and it's natural to fear the unknown but the purpose of a trial is to arrive at the truth, remember that.

[Fusiondoe]

Well said as usual YOH.

As far as I can see, the evidence against you is flimsy and the evidence you have in your defence, your GF and the text messages with the FA afterward will set the jury thinking.My first question would be why would you do such a thing if your GF was expected at any moment? It's madness that cases like yours reach court. Sadly this is the world we live in at the moment.

Court is daunting and it's natural to fear the unknown but the purpose of a trial is to arrive at the truth, remember that.

Thank you buddy and thanks YOH.

I know you guys are right, it's just that... if I get found guilty I'll accept prison with my head held high because I know I am honest and not guilty.

Prison doesn't even bother me, what bothers me is the stigma and being labelled as a 'sex offender'!!! I absolutely hate rapists and pedophiles etc, to be labelled one makes me feel sick. I have two daughters!!!

Sorry guys to be so negative, just having a real bad day with it.

[Franticwithworry]

I hope you have a better day today.

Please try to stay away from the 'what-if's' if you can. I know you need to be prepared for the worst, but not yet. That comes later. At the moment, try to focus on the fact that you ARE innocent of this accusation, that the 'evidence', such as it is, IS flimsy, and you CAN with good, experienced representation, prove your case.

If you can focus on gathering evidence for your defence, maintaining a strong mental and emotional health and keep yourself busy so you don't dwell on the negative possibilities, hopefully your bad days will not be so frequent.

You're innocent. That's the main and most important fact. All the horrors are the less likely outcome. Don't ever forget that.

For men with integrity, this is the most heinous and appalling accusation that could be levied against them. Society seems to forget that most men are good men who respect other people, including women, even though there are gender differences.

I think and hope that there are many rebelling now against the 'all men are rapists' chant. They are not. You are not.

Never lose sight of that.

[Rights Fighter]

If you read through other threads you will see we have had several NG verdicts this year.

Hold on in there!

[edinguy]

Thank you buddy and thanks YOH.

I know you guys are right, it's just that... if I get found guilty I'll accept prison with my head held high because I know I am honest and not guilty.

Prison doesn't even bother me, what bothers me is the stigma and being labelled as a 'sex offender'!!! I absolutely hate rapists and pedophiles etc, to be labelled one makes me feel sick. I have two daughters!!!

Sorry guys to be so negative, just having a real bad day with it.

Hi there,

I remember going through the same thought process as you are and had mentally prepared myself for prison but it did me no favours in terms of my mental state. I know it's hard but please try to stay positive, I went through a 5 day trial and was found NG after less than 30 mins deliberation 3 years back so keep strong knowing the truth does come out in the end.

It's a horrible situation to be in and you are living in the constant fear of uncertainty and hate to think of future plans because you are uncertain what it's going to be, I know the mental torture you are going through. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, you will get through this.