Beyond frightened

[Mr B]

Do so. But please do remember to breathe...and keep breathing.
;-)
Mr B

[Dal75]

Feeling very anxious today. Yesterday evening I was quite manic and strangely feeling quite good about myself although I have very little to feel good about at the moment.
Today is the complete opposite.
Very jumpy, very nervous, curtain twitching whenever a car comes down the street.
Cant sit still, can't concentrate.

Praying for a nfa. Soon.

[Dal75]

Should I be expecting a knock on the door soon with the police here to seize the family laptop and phones? Will they want my kids phones too?
I was told I'd be arrested Monday, nobody came. I was told it would be Tuesday, nobody came. I was told it would be Wednesday and they finally came. If they want computers /phones, why have they not taken them already?

[sqounk]

Don't sweat it. Went the through the same. Completely normal. It's the emotional rollercoaster people talk about but you don't appreciate what it really means until you're on it. And you have definitely climbed aboard. Listen to some happy music or escape in a film or a game. That's what I do. If you are lost in the darkness then your FA is winning. Forcing myself out of that mindset is what I try to do without ADs although I fully understand the need for those for some peeps. Get yourself to the GP if you are feeling depressed. S/He will give you ADs but there are more natural ways to relieve feelings of depression.

[Dal75]

Don't sweat it. Went the through the same. Completely normal. It's the emotional rollercoaster people talk about but you don't appreciate what it really means until you're on it. And you have definitely climbed aboard. Listen to some happy music or escape in a film or a game. That's what I do. If you are lost in the darkness then your FA is winning. Forcing myself out of that mindset is what I try to do without ADs although I fully understand the need for those for some peeps. Get yourself to the GP if you are feeling depressed. S/He will give you ADs but there are more natural ways to relieve feelings of depression.

Thanks for the reply.
I've never been one for pills etc. I'll only take a painkiller if I absolutely can't stand it anymore.
But this is a whole new ballgame and I'm thinking I could do with some help for my anxiety and insomnia. Just worried now I'm to get yet another knock on the door and they want all the devices.

[sqounk]

Well yeah they might. I'm not sure about if or how that might happen. I'm sure someone else here can advise you.
Get yourself down to the doctors - book an appt on Monday. GP doesn't need to know details. No shame in that - in fact it says you are demonstrating responsibility for your own mental health which is a mature response. Whatever gets you through the night as they say.

[Dal75]

Well yeah they might. I'm not sure about if or how that might happen. I'm sure someone else here can advise you.
Get yourself down to the doctors - book an appt on Monday. GP doesn't need to know details. No shame in that - in fact it says you are demonstrating responsibility for your own mental health which is a mature response. Whatever gets you through the night as they say.

Yeah, thanks. I'll get myself down there Monday. I'm sure a good night's sleep would do me good and getting a handle on my anxiety levels too.

Don't know what to think about the devices. Surely they would of wanted them asap (maybe even the same day I was arrested) to preserve any 'evidence' on them. Not that there is any. It's just got me worried now, listening for the knock on the door.

[sqounk]

Yeah, thanks. I'll get myself down there Monday. I'm sure a good night's sleep would do me good and getting a handle on my anxiety levels too.

Don't know what to think about the devices. Surely they would of wanted them asap (maybe even the same day I was arrested) to preserve any 'evidence' on them. Not that there is any. It's just got me worried now, listening for the knock on the door.

They don't always want them. Presumably if your case isn't linked to devices they might not need to investigate them. The allegation is linked to physical contact not media devices so your guess is as good as mine. Not sure I can help you with that one really.

[Dal75]

They don't always want them. Presumably if your case isn't linked to devices they might not need to investigate them. The allegation is linked to physical contact not media devices so your guess is as good as mine. Not sure I can help you with that one really.

Yeah that's a good point.
But who knows what they are thinking.

Something else that occurred to me earlier is that when I said about this allegation possibly being about revenge over the eBay thing or my dislike of her gf or even just a ploy to split me and her mum. What if I'm wrong?
What if it's not about that.
What if she came up with this lie long before that and mentioned it to someone?
In my interview I described her as a fantasist. They police immediately jumped on that remark and asked why I used that word.
I said it was because of previous lies.
After her mum was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, she went round telling everyone she has it too. She claimed many times she tried to commit suicide while living with us. Again, not true.
Those are just two of many lies she has spun since meeting her gf.
It's almost as if she lives in a fantasy world. One in which, as sick as it sounds, it seems to be some kind of status symbol to claim numerous suicide attempts, one in which it's 'cool' to claim to be a victim of abuse. Like they wear it as some kind of badge of honour or something. I know her gf has claimed to be a victim of historic abuse too and that the gfs mother doesn't know about it.
I just really don't know what to make of it all.
Saying 'I didn't do it' just does not seem sufficient with regards to trying to fight something as serious as this. So I guess I'm trying to find some sort of rationalisation to it all.
Does that make sense?

[sqounk]

Yeah it makes sense but I really don't think you should give too many details on an open forum like this for your own protection really. I think you need to speak to a solicitor as you need specialist advice to answer these questions I would imagine.

[Dal75]

Yeah it makes sense but I really don't think you should give too many details on an open forum like this for your own protection really. I think you need to speak to a solicitor as you need specialist advice to answer these questions I would imagine.

Yeah I expect you are right. Sorry. Just need to vent. I feel bad when I keep bringing it up to my wife. I know there is no avoiding it but I just want to give her a break from thinking about it. Well, I guess there is no getting away from thinking about it really.

I keep wondering if or when they are going to take a statement from her being as she was the first person (that we know of) that my daughter told.
It's got to be good for me, from a legal perspective, that my wife is on my side over this. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

[SurrealLife]

Yeah I expect you are right. Sorry. Just need to vent. I feel bad when I keep bringing it up to my wife. I know there is no avoiding it but I just want to give her a break from thinking about it. Well, I guess there is no getting away from thinking about it really.

I keep wondering if or when they are going to take a statement from her being as she was the first person (that we know of) that my daughter told.
It's got to be good for me, from a legal perspective, that my wife is on my side over this. That's w I keep telling myself anyway.

I gave a statement two weeks before my OH was charged. Not that it supported any of the allegations. The police and SS are hell bent currently in trying to see their truth (that he inappropriately touched my eldest daughter) With no DNA evidence, no witness evidence to the allegations where there are witnesses, it is one persons word against the other and a weak case. If they can convince me it's a whole different ballgame in court.

Stay strong

SL

[sqounk]

Yeah I expect you are right. Sorry. Just need to vent. I feel bad when I keep bringing it up to my wife. I know there is no avoiding it but I just want to give her a break from thinking about it. Well, I guess there is no getting away from thinking about it really.

I keep wondering if or when they are going to take a statement from her being as she was the first person (that we know of) that my daughter told.
It's got to be good for me, from a legal perspective, that my wife is on my side over this. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

If she disclosed to your wife, then I would have thought so too, but they may not as it might not help their case (although the CPS require them to reasonably investigate anything that might undermine the prosecution - I'm not sure this happens all the time from what I have read). Yes - you have to batten down the hatches and hunker down - your wife will no doubt become bored with the one conversation you will have and the one thing you will be thinking about. But giving her a break is important. It does get easier, honestly.

[Dal75]

Thanks guys.
It's frightening that they are so willing to take one person's word over another with no evidence. Even more so when the accuser has a grudge against the accused. If I get convicted of this that's my life effectively over. My wife and kids are my life. I don't really have friends I can turn to, no family either. I will be completely alone if I won't be allowed back home when released. I am my wife's carer, what's to become of her? My sons will be devastated if I'm not allowed to come home again.
How can they be so willing to destroy so many lives on the word of somebody who lies so often and has a personal grudge against me.
It's madness. Utter madness.

[SurrealLife]

Dal - it's truly terrible that they will take one persons word and ignore everything else. Things I've said that contradict or challenge the police view haven't been recorded.

I've already been told that if my OH is convicted then I will have to believe as I'll be a 'worrying case for social services'.