Trial starts a week on Monday

[wakingnightmare]

Wonderful news

[WronglyAccused]

Excellent news. So pleased for you.

[mickw]

May I echo every ones wishes. Great result, try now to put your life back together.

Mick

[farmer42]

Been following the thread really happy to hear, you are free now all the best for the future.

[Staystrong1]

This is fantastic news. So pleased for you that the truth did out and you can now get on with your life. It will take a little time to recover with your family and move passed all this.

Well done for staying strong

[terrifieddad]

I believe that I was fortunate enough to to have one of the fairest minds in the North West sitting as judge in the case. His Honour was exceptionally fair and would not stand for any nonsense. I was blessed with an intelligent and diverse jury - a true cross section of society as far as I could tell. And the professionalism of my barrister was such that he received high praise from the judge at the end of the case. He said that (even if the jury had found adversely against his client) he conducted a very sad case with all due sensitivity, yet this did nothing to take away from his effectiveness in conducting my defence. I would concur and recommend him to anyone in the area facing such charges. If it would not identify the case I will happily give the name of my barrister and the solicitors who instructed him. All on legal aid too by the way

[determinedmum]

What amazing news to catch up on, i'm so pleased for you! How are you feeling now? I imagine the aftermath of such a terrible experience can also be quite difficult, even with such a positive outcome.

Best wishes and just delighted for you.

[terrifieddad]

I don't know how people who have experienced both NFA and NG feel about the two positive outcomes to such investigations - most of us get either one or the other. If anyone has experienced both, perhaps they can tell us. All I can do is convey my own feelings.

Well it has been only a few days since my verdict and I have other battles to face in the future, so the first point to make is that it does not feel like a cause for celebration. It is however an enormous relief. The best way to describe it is that it's like carrying a huge weight around for months. That weight has now been lifted but the aches and pains and the stoop all remain. But it is getting better.

I may have a mountain to climb to rebuild my life, but I can do it without carrying a huge weight on my shoulders. I still have to get access to my children and I will do what it takes to achieve that. At least for the time being there are no restrictions on who I can and cannot contact. But at the same time, my children have not seen me for nearly a year, so I can't just barge straight back into their lives. A softly softly approach is called for at the moment.

[Adam121]

NFA . But still cant sleep

I don't know how people who have experienced both NFA and NG feel about the two positive outcomes to such investigations - most of us get either one or the other. If anyone has experienced both, perhaps they can tell us. All I can do is convey my own feelings.

Well it has been only a few days since my verdict and I have other battles to face in the future, so the first point to make is that it does not feel like a cause for celebration. It is however an enormous relief. The best way to describe it is that it's like carrying a huge weight around for months. That weight has now been lifted but the aches and pains and the stoop all remain. But it is getting better.

I may have a mountain to climb to rebuild my life, but I can do it without carrying a huge weight on my shoulders. I still have to get access to my children and I will do what it takes to achieve that. At least for the time being there are no restrictions on who I can and cannot contact. But at the same time, my children have not seen me for nearly a year, so I can't just barge straight back into their lives. A softly softly approach is called for at the moment.

I have received NFA letter last week after darkness of six months but still i wake up middle of the night with nightmare that am in court room or am in jail...still social services woman come to see my children, before she said your family is very happy and kids are happy too so i not neet to do anything but i cant close file untill i see your results from the CPS and not i got NFA and she still wants to see my children

[Franticwithworry]

I agree with everything you say in terms of the positive result in all this being a tremendous relief but not really a cause for celebration.

We have 2 situations ongoing, separate but connected, and one resolved in the last little while with a third alternative - 'no crime' or 'no case to answer'. We don't know which yet as we haven't had any official paperwork, but either way it's bittersweet, because in spite of that, the matter stays on file and can be ressurected any time in the future, and therefore, to my mind, the cloud of doubt remains. It's so unjust, but then the justice system was never anything to do with justice.

The elation we felt that there wouldn't be a trial was short-lived, because we didn't want the children in the family, whom we felt had been co-erced into the part they played, to have to go through the stress of court. It still cost my man a huge amount in terms of stress, travel multiple time to meet with a lawyer and prepare his defence, and a huge legal bil. All for what?

Because the Fiscal's office couldn't/wouldn't make the decision that the complaint was without warrant and that there was no crime? Because they wanted the judge to make that decision? Because they hoped that the accused would plead guilty to get the matter dealt with quickly and so boost their conviction rate? How often does this waste of time, money and well-being take place?

It seems that in spite of NFA, NG, cases being brought when there is no crime or being deemed No Case to Answer, there is no happy ending for the accused. The accusation remains for ever. Even when a Not Guilty verdict is entered, the option that many think is 'the best', there are still those who take the view that it only happens because there wasn't enough evidence; that the accused 'got off'. Even the police, I saw the other day, contact complainants and commiserate with them over 'the great injustice they suffered' when there is no conviction.

As you say, it can take years to rebuild a life. Some lose children, careers and family on the basis of an accusation alone. We were lucky. Social Services were involved but closed the case in a relatively short time. I can't say that they were particularly competent - lots of mistakes, inconsistencies and other mess-ups but they decided, quite correctly, that no child was at risk quite quickly. We are pleased about that and know that others have a much greater struggle, if only because there is no consistency.

All that said, all best wishes to you. I was so pleased to see that you got the correct result. Even with all the downsides, it's a very good thing!

[carrot tops]

It's over two years since our sons NG verdict and I feel he is in denial about the impact it has on his life. I think he often uses humour to deal with it and I'd say it's tainted the optimism and hope he should have at his age. I sometimes feel like I'm finding my way through a fog in all of this and I think the feelings are so complicated and conflicting that maybe people get stuck in one place rather than coming through to a full recovery on this.

I still ask myself " why when there were so many intelligent people involved in the process didn't it get dropped before court? " I also ask " why didn't the judge say to my son, you've been through a terrible ordeal, here is a phone number for some free counselling, there really was no evidence against you, there's a strong likelihood that she lied ".

At times my stress levels go up much quicker than they used to. My heart pounds when I see a police car, though it's easing compared to the early days. I don't like walking past the police. I wouldn't want to have them in my house. Husband and I gave our statements at home, that took about four hours. I wonder if we were fools to do that. Should we have gone to the station and had a duty solicitor?

I am obsessive about reading of people falsely accused, my blood boils over things like Hillsborough. I feel frustrated because I want to shout from the rooftops about the many victims of false allegations. But I'm scared of how that could impact family members . I'm scared of whether I could be hauled up in court if I failed to maintain daughters anonimity.

I have no yardstick to measure my progress by in recovering from this. I don't know whether I need to shut the door on it all and just focus on the good things in life now. I'm relying on facing and working through my feelings has always worked better for me with other difficult situations. However this one is such a minefield because there really are people who commit and cover up awful crimes like this and " you will be believed if you allege sexual abuse " is still the principle despite a few murmurings about " we will take what you say seriously and treat you with respect and sensitivity. " I know my son did not feel any respect or sensitivity from the police. Just typing this makes me feel beeping low.

[terrifieddad]

It's over two years since our sons NG verdict and I feel he is in denial about the impact it has on his life. I think he often uses humour to deal with it and I'd say it's tainted the optimism and hope he should have at his age. I sometimes feel like I'm finding my way through a fog in all of this and I think the feelings are so complicated and conflicting that maybe people get stuck in one place rather than coming through to a full recovery on this.

I still ask myself " why when there were so many intelligent people involved in the process didn't it get dropped before court? " I also ask " why didn't the judge say to my son, you've been through a terrible ordeal, here is a phone number for some free counselling, there really was no evidence against you, there's a strong likelihood that she lied ".

At times my stress levels go up much quicker than they used to. My heart pounds when I see a police car, though it's easing compared to the early days. I don't like walking past the police. I wouldn't want to have them in my house. Husband and I gave our statements at home, that took about four hours. I wonder if we were fools to do that. Should we have gone to the station and had a duty solicitor?

I am obsessive about reading of people falsely accused, my blood boils over things like Hillsborough. I feel frustrated because I want to shout from the rooftops about the many victims of false allegations. But I'm scared of how that could impact family members . I'm scared of whether I could be hauled up in court if I failed to maintain daughters anonimity.

I have no yardstick to measure my progress by in recovering from this. I don't know whether I need to shut the door on it all and just focus on the good things in life now. I'm relying on facing and working through my feelings has always worked better for me with other difficult situations. However this one is such a minefield because there really are people who commit and cover up awful crimes like this and " you will be believed if you allege sexual abuse " is still the principle despite a few murmurings about " we will take what you say seriously and treat you with respect and sensitivity. " I know my son did not feel any respect or sensitivity from the police. Just typing this makes me feel beeping low.

So sorry to hear that the ordeal isn't completely over for you. I know this is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I am certainly a different person from the one I was just a week ago. But I also have a further focus which is to fight for access to my children. I've identified what steps I need to take for that, including improvements I need to make to my own life to facilitate that.

If you still get angry about it all, you can either channel that anger to fight injustice or to make a better life for your son. One thing is for sure, the anger will eat you up in the end. It is not healthy to bottle it up. You need to use it for good or let it go