Trial starts a week on Monday

[terrifieddad]

I can't help but be nervous and anxious as my trial approaches. Just over a week to go now. I wonder if anyone has any tips to help deal with this as it worsens every day.

[Casehardened]

There are some practical tips from members from their own personal experiences in this link:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...xpect-at-Trial

[terrifieddad]

Thanks CH. I was aware of that thread and it will come in useful. It's just that sense of impending doom that is increasing by the day and if anyone has any coping strategy for that. I am trying to occupy my mind but I know I have to spend time over the next 10 days tying up loose ends in case the worst happens. A lengthy custodial sentence is inevitable if I'm found guilty, so I doubt that there is any chance of being bailed pending sentencing. I'm not superstitious by any means, but if there's a chance of rain, I take a brolly, knowing that if I don't it will rain!

[YearsOfHell]

Firstly, I am not a therapist so I'm not saying I know what to do.
But I will tell you what helped us get through our nightmare.

You need to commend yourself for what you've got through already to get to this point.
You have managed not to collapse in a useless heap so keep telling yourself that you can get through this.
Although you are sensible in planning for what might happen, don't dwell on worse case scenario.
Make your plans then put them away.
You may never need them.
Keep your routine as normal as possible.
Watch your health - eat as well as you can and rest when you can.
If you can't sleep then just relax your body and let your body rest.
Your mind probably won't let you sleep sometimes but try and rest your body.

It is going to be stressful and it's going to test you to your limits, but stay calm, trust your innocence and you'll get through it.

Keep talking about it, if it helps.
Stop talking about it , if it doesn't!
There's no right or wrong, just what helps you!

We're here with you all the way.
Big big hugs
YoH

[terrifieddad]

Firstly, I am not a therapist so I'm not saying I know what to do.
But I will tell you what helped us get through our nightmare.

You need to commend yourself for what you've got through already to get to this point.
You have managed not to collapse in a useless heap so keep telling yourself that you can get through this.
Although you are sensible in planning for what might happen, don't dwell on worse case scenario.
Make your plans then put them away.
You may never need them.
Keep your routine as normal as possible.
Watch your health - eat as well as you can and rest when you can.
If you can't sleep then just relax your body and let your body rest.
Your mind probably won't let you sleep sometimes but try and rest your body.

It is going to be stressful and it's going to test you to your limits, but stay calm, trust your innocence and you'll get through it.

Keep talking about it, if it helps.
Stop talking about it , if it doesn't!
There's no right or wrong, just what helps you!

We're here with you all the way.
Big big hugs
YoH

Thanks very much for this, YoH. It will be a big help I'm sure. I've just never been through anything like this before and the nerves are really kicking in now.

[determinedmum]

We have all this to come, so I can't advise you. But please don't feel you are alone..

Easier said than done I know but take a deep breath, stay calm and be strong. Visualise the jury returning the 'not guilty' verdict and believe it will happen.

[Mr B]

Ahh hah, I asked the same & did some digging in past posts of mine...

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ght=#post66290

Founds these references to giving evidence in case anyone else is searching. The top one is the best - in bold

http://barristerblogger.com/2014/04/...s-examination/
http://www.communitycare.co.uk/top-t...ence-in-court/
https://www.gov.uk/government/upload..._EXT_clean.pdf
http://www.duhaime.org/LegalResource...-to-Trial.aspx

HTH
TTFN
Mr B

[terrifieddad]

I now know that prosecution counsel was called to the Bar in 1975 and has won many rape cases on both sides of the courtroom. Whereas my barrister was called in 1993 and doesn't appear to have had much success in such cases as defence counsel. I really believe I don't have a chance now

[Mr B]

You are innocent. Innocent. Irrespective of the fidelity of the Court process to determine that, you ARE innocent. Hold to that.

Kindest regards
Mr B

[Franticwithworry]

Remember Sod's Law - the more you prepare for something the less likely it is to happen. Make a physical list of the things you want to do before trial, tick them off and then reassure yourself that you have done all you can and your best. That's all any of us can do.

As for the barrister - ask your solicitor when they chose them. Not all their successes will be online.

[terrifieddad]

Remember Sod's Law - the more you prepare for something the less likely it is to happen. Make a physical list of the things you want to do before trial, tick them off and then reassure yourself that you have done all you can and your best. That's all any of us can do.

As for the barrister - ask your solicitor when they chose them. Not all their successes will be online.

Barrister is already chosen. Far too late to do anything about it now. And he doesn't fill me with confidence. He believes an important part of my defence could be held against me by the jury - the fact that we roleplayed rape-like scenarios in our marriage. Though at no point in my defence have I relied upon that as rebuttal for her evidence. Only one week to go now and finding out that prosecution counsel has so much experience has really knocked me for six. Of course, he may just have been wheeled out of retirement and I do take some comfort in the fact that a decent barrister with that much experience should have taken silk by now, but I know I'm clutching at straws on that!

[terrifieddad]

I should also add that against all hope and wisdom, I have recently started a relationship. One that is progressing quite quickly. So a massive part of my worry is that "Sod's Law" might come to haunt me. I get a sniff of happiness and then get banged up for something I haven't done. That's pretty much how my life has gone in the past. Elation one minute, then something happens to bring me back down to earth. Always climbing the ladder only to land on a snake on the next move.

[Franticwithworry]

As far as I remember it's Murphy's Law that states that anything which can go wrong will. So you shoukd be quite safe with Sod's Law. Not meaning to be flippant but keeping a sense of humour -however dark - might help.

I wasn't suggesting that a change of barrister was an option just that your solicitor might have information that could reassure you. Don't forget too, that it's your legal team's job to be sure you are aware of worst case scenarios. Besides that there's the jury. It's quite possible that at least one of them enjoys sex games, making a huge difference to the deliberations of the group. They won't necessarily all be prudes who assume the worst.

[terrifieddad]

As far as I remember it's Murphy's Law that states that anything which can go wrong will. So you shoukd be quite safe with Sod's Law. Not meaning to be flippant but keeping a sense of humour -however dark - might help.

I wasn't suggesting that a change of barrister was an option just that your solicitor might have information that could reassure you. Don't forget too, that it's your legal team's job to be sure you are aware of worst case scenarios. Besides that there's the jury. It's quite possible that at least one of them enjoys sex games, making a huge difference to the deliberations of the group. They won't necessarily all be prudes who assume the worst.

It's also possible that those who enjoy sex games won't want to push that point in deliberations and will try to hide that out of embarrassment! This is Britain after all.

I was much more confident about my chances after my last meeting with my barrister. But then I researched prosecuting counsel and my confidence has shot through the floor. I can only hope that my barrister manages to shoot the CPS evidence down in flames so we'll that I don't need to take the stand. Most of the points of my defence should be dealt with in cross-examination of prosecution witnesses but I know a jury would rather hear my version directly from me. That's a decision that can only be made at the time but has to be mine alone.

[Franticwithworry]

My point was that anything is possible. A juror who is sympathetic to your situation won't have to go into detail as to why. They might simply be able to argue forcefully for remaining sure of a NG verdict.

Just try not to make assumptions, that's the point, as it will drive you crazy. There's more to everything than the barrister too. Please try to be as positive as you can. Your own state of mind and demeanour on the day is an influence too and you have to make it as positive as possible. The jury will be influenced by how positive and confident you appear even if you don't give evidence.

You know that you are innocent and you need to make sure it shows if at all possible. You'll get to talk to your barrister during breaks. Remember he is employed by you and if you have questions about why he is doing or not doing something or anything else that's going on, it's ok to ask. He'll know how worried defendents get and it's part of his job to help you stay calm. Not all barristers do that job well but he won't at all if you don't give him him a chance from the beginning.

He hasn't lost all of his cases so there's no guarantee he'll lose yours.