Scared

[Anx]

Well it's been over 10 weeks now, social services have been to see us don't know why as no children in the house think stress getting to us all now think son is in danger of been asked to leave his course even my work is suffering with the result that I was requested to attend a meeting at work as they were worried about my welfare and if I was happy at work
We were informed 2 weeks ago by social services that the accuser has been interviewed again but nobody saying anything to us how much longer does this go on for

[Franticwithworry]

I'm afraid 10 weeks is very short in the grand scheme of things.

I suggest all of you go to see your GP for help with the stress. If its stress that's interfering with course work and your job there is help available. Your GP might even be able to arrange some counselling. There's no harm in asking.

Finding a way to come to terms with the fact that this is not a short process can help immeasurably. I'm assuming that youre as busy as you can be making notes about what happened and researching a good solicitor in case you need one. When that's done the most constructive thing to do is to get on with life as best you can. If your son's course work and your work is suffering the accuser is winning.

[Anx]

Progress (I think)

Well at last we have an appointment at the police station next week don't know if it's a good thing that they haven't been to arrest him or that's it's taken so long they have completed their investigations don't know what to think anymore but not getting or hopes up, solicitor has been to see him and will attend police station with him

[Bob1234]

Has the solicitor not made contact and tried to find out what the status of everything is prior to the appointment?

[Anx]

No he's been to see son and has been trying to get in touch with detective but they arenot back at work till Monday he's surprised that there is not another detective investigating as he said there is normally 2 of them working together

[can it get worse]

Hi - has solicitor been able to obtain any information from police today?

Sending positive vibes. x

[Anx]

No news as yet

Hi thanks for your positive vibes no news from solicitor as yet mind going into overdrive will he just be arrested on Friday but at least it saves watching every car come down the road waiting to see if it stops and they come and arrest him.

[Anx]

Still waiting

At the police station last week didn't get much further as husband was the responsible adult who accompanied son with solicitor police and solicitor said as my husband may be a witness as on one occasion she is saying he raped her he'd come in early we needed another responsible adult, been back to the police station today now we have to wait another 4-6 weeks as police have not interviewed sons former girlfriend who deleted naked pictures that the fa sent to my sons phone

[Franticwithworry]

Thank you for the update. Hang in there! Awful as this sounds, the longer they take over this, the more likely it is that there is nothing of substance. No promises, of course, but honestly, there's no point in worrying about things you can't change.

Worrying won't make the police work any quicker, and if they're going really slowly, they can't be worried that there is any imminent danger. Keep thinking as positively as you can - not convincing yourself that no charge will come, because you can't be sure of that - but that the longer this goes on the weaker the accuser's case will be and the better you and your son will be able to fight it.

[Anx]

Still waiting

Bet this is no surprise to anybody but here we are 15 months later and still no further on no charges brought solicitor tearing his hair out trying to get a response from police, still dread any strange car coming down the road or a knock on the door when we are not expecting it but we have just tried to get on with our lives as best as we can. Worry never goes away and it's in our minds everyday.

[Pond31]

Bet this is no surprise to anybody but here we are 15 months later and still no further on no charges brought solicitor tearing his hair out trying to get a response from police, still dread any strange car coming down the road or a knock on the door when we are not expecting it but we have just tried to get on with our lives as best as we can. Worry never goes away and it's in our minds everyday.

Sorry to hear you are still waiting. I just don't know what the police spent their time doing. Is the case with the CPS as yet? Even if I get a NFA letter I plan to ask for a copy of the police and prosecution file so I can create a time line of the their actions or lack there off. 12 month Statutory time limits, for arrest to disposal of a case, have been in place in Scotland since 1995 because they recognised the inhumane treatment of the accused and of course real victims.

I don't know if it is advisable to complain to whoever handles them in your police area. Some people say it is not a good idea as you might annoy the police officer investigating your case. Maybe a friendly weekly call to the OIC or CPS would be a good idea. I call the prosecutor every couple of weeks. It would be fast and better to send letters or e-mails as you then would have a copy of the correspondence. My prosecutor declined to respond to my e-mails saying I had to go via my solicitor.

Anyway it is up to you and your son to choose what to do.

Take Care
Pond31

[Franticwithworry]

Thank you for the update Anx. I'm sorry that you are still stuck in this seemingly never-ending trap and sadly, no, it's not a surprise. The waiting is torture, but we are along there with you. Hard as it is, we took the decision not to try to rock the boat by either pestering for information or complaining in any way. Getting on with your lives the best way you can is the best thing to do. that, and knowing that you are not the only one in this horrible boat. for you and yours.