Waking nightmare

[Casehardened]

[Anx, I've moved your post to it's own thread otherwise any replies will get confused with Determinedmum's]

[determinedmum]

Magistrates hearing and media

So, my son's magistrate's hearing is next Tuesday morning. Our solicitor say's it will be very quick, and his accuser will not be there, as the case will be referred to the crown court. But can anyone who's been in this situation advise on what to expect? I'm particularly keen to know if there's likely to be anyone from the local paper there - just trying to gauge what kind of exposure my son may have once this is in the 'public domain'.

I've decided to confide in my sister, so that if my son's name appears in the paper we will have her support to help manage the family's shock and concern. But I'm feeling so upset just thinking about explaining his situation to her - somehow saying it out loud to a loved-one makes it so much more real!!!

Deep breath.

[myheartisbroken]

We have been in this situation, as my son was under the age of 18 when these alleged offences took place the magistrate put a ban on any media publishing anything. The local paper were sat in court but nothing was published. Just make sure your solicitor makes the magistrate aware of this. It is a very short hearing, not pleasant but you will be fine, just think of it as another step closer to the nightmare being over. As a mum I know how your feeling thoughts are with you.

[determinedmum]

We have been in this situation, as my son was under the age of 18 when these alleged offences took place the magistrate put a ban on any media publishing anything. The local paper were sat in court but nothing was published. Just make sure your solicitor makes the magistrate aware of this. It is a very short hearing, not pleasant but you will be fine, just think of it as another step closer to the nightmare being over. As a mum I know how your feeling thoughts are with you.

My son is 18 now, though the alleged offence happened when he was 16. Does this mean that although an adult now we could ask for a media ban? Thanks so much for your support, it means a lot to know we're not alone.

[myheartisbroken]

We had magistrates hearing in August my son was 18 and the magistrate put a ban on any media publishing anything as he was under the age of 18 when the alleged offences happened. Voice your worries and request to your solicitor before the hearing and he should make them aware that your son was under 18 when this allegedly happened.

[can it get worse]

Hi - Through our own experience and reading those of others on here. I don't think journalists are that interested at magistrates. Your son's case is not such a big story for them.

You could ask your solicitor about a media ban.

We have children and particularly wanted to shield the harm that could be caused through my partners case being in the papers. We enquired about a ban with our solicitor. He advised that to request a ban sometimes encourages journalists to go ahead and print it. It often felt that everything was stacked against us.

Regarding the magistrates appearance, like every one else has confirmed - it is a very short hearing and nothing to worry about. Easier said than done - I know.

Stay strong....... Again this is easier said than done.

[experience3]

There is some good advice already on here but I would add a bit more in terms of practical matters.

Firstly ask your solicitor early doors, when the trial might be - he will know for his area how long it takes to get something into Crown Court. For at least some areas it is 6-9 months, this will give you an idea in terms of timescales.

Secondly if your son is at Uni you should know that there are various reports on here of guys being very badly treated by the University authorities if they find out there are rape allegations against them, because like everyone else it would seem they "know" that an allegation is the same as guilt (luckily juries don't concur).

The reason that I mention this it because as you will be aware this is an incredibly stressful time already and I would encourage you to take due care of your mental health. I would encourage you and your son to at the very first sign of stress / depression etc get yourselves down to your GP and get some happy pills. In particular regards to your son, it might pay to be wary of engaging with the University authorities. In his position I would be tempted to go and see my GP to get some pills. Again there are various ways to engage with counselling if he needs to go down that route, through the University or his local authority and the same caveat applies.

Lastly again given the timing, any trial is likely to be next summer. Again, On a practical level, should you be able to secure a not-guilty verdict, that is not necessarily the end of the matter. It can take some time to actually come to terms with it all after an acquittal, so it might pay to make discreet inquiries now about how you go about deferring his second year.

GL with it all,

[determinedmum]

There is some good advice already on here but I would add a bit more in terms of practical matters.

Secondly if your son is at Uni you should know that there are various reports on here of guys being very badly treated by the University authorities if they find out there are rape allegations against them, because like everyone else it would seem they "know" that an allegation is the same as guilt (luckily juries don't concur).

Do you know, this hadn't even occurred to me. I was going to speak to my son's faculty after the magistrates hearing, when we know more about the process ahead. I'd assumed they would be supportive but - now that you've flagged it - I can see how it could go completely the other way. Thank you, we will be cautious.

And yes I am concerned about mental health, right now my son seems to be coping amazingly well but I think that's because he's shut this nightmare situation out of his mind while away at uni. But when it comes time to face it, which will be soon, I am desperately worried about the impact it will have on him. We'll have a chance to talk it all through when he comes home next week for the hearing. I've said to him all along that if he ever has a 'dark day' to phone or simply come home - he doesn't need to be alone with this.

We will request a media ban because if you don't ask you don't get.

Thanks everyone for your support and feedback, it is so appreciated.

[Fusiondoe]

Do you know, this hadn't even occurred to me. I was going to speak to my son's faculty after the magistrates hearing, when we know more about the process ahead. I'd assumed they would be supportive but - now that you've flagged it - I can see how it could go completely the other way. Thank you, we will be cautious.

And yes I am concerned about mental health, right now my son seems to be coping amazingly well but I think that's because he's shut this nightmare situation out of his mind while away at uni. But when it comes time to face it, which will be soon, I am desperately worried about the impact it will have on him. We'll have a chance to talk it all through when he comes home next week for the hearing. I've said to him all along that if he ever has a 'dark day' to phone or simply come home - he doesn't need to be alone with this.

We will request a media ban because if you don't ask you don't get.

Thanks everyone for your support and feedback, it is so appreciated.

Hi determinedmum!

Any update?

[determinedmum]

First crown court hearing on Friday

Hi - yes and I've been meaning to update the forum. We're approaching another 'key' point in this nightmare process.

My son had his magistrate's hearing mid-December and the case has been referred to Crown Court. We appear there on Friday (6th) and at least then we'll be able to get stuck into building his defence case.

On the day of the magistrate's hearing we were also given documents showing the CPS initial prosecution case. It mainly consists of witness statements from other youngsters who were at the party - full of inconsistencies and 'gaps', but including the transcript of the video interview with the FA back in February. I keep having to remind myself that this is the prosecution case, it doesn't represent all evidence and there are some key people who the CPS has obviously chosen not to include. I hope it will become clear as to why when they disclose the evidence they are not using - it may be useful.

On the recommendation of a friend who is a barrister in London, our solicitor approached Kate Lumsdon to represent my son at Crown Court. Despite us being based all the way down near Exeter, I'm so pleased to say she's accepted and will be with us for the hearing on the 6th.

My son is still home from University and today going through the prosecution documents so we can provide initial notes and queries back to the solicitor.

This is such an emotional roller coaster, but we are on our way! Think of us on Friday. Thanks all for your support.

[Franticwithworry]

Glad to hear you have a great legal team. Will be thinking of you all on Friday.

[justanotherday]

Thanks for the update, your case is at the same stage as ours, we have first CC hearing in 2 weeks. Only difference being we are still awaiting CPS file!!

Pleased to hear you have a good team behind you, our team is also good and it makes a huge difference.

Our solicitor told us she has 15 cases going to crown this year - 12 of them are historical sex cases, thats just one solicitor in one firm in Exeter - imagine the number of cases countrywide, amazes me how the authorities think all of these can be true!!

hugs xx

[Anx]

Good luck on Friday sending thoughts and prayers to you

[Fusiondoe]

Hi - yes and I've been meaning to update the forum. We're approaching another 'key' point in this nightmare process.

My son had his magistrate's hearing mid-December and the case has been referred to Crown Court. We appear there on Friday (6th) and at least then we'll be able to get stuck into building his defence case.

On the day of the magistrate's hearing we were also given documents showing the CPS initial prosecution case. It mainly consists of witness statements from other youngsters who were at the party - full of inconsistencies and 'gaps', but including the transcript of the video interview with the FA back in February. I keep having to remind myself that this is the prosecution case, it doesn't represent all evidence and there are some key people who the CPS has obviously chosen not to include. I hope it will become clear as to why when they disclose the evidence they are not using - it may be useful.

On the recommendation of a friend who is a barrister in London, our solicitor approached Kate Lumsdon to represent my son at Crown Court. Despite us being based all the way down near Exeter, I'm so pleased to say she's accepted and will be with us for the hearing on the 6th.

My son is still home from University and today going through the prosecution documents so we can provide initial notes and queries back to the solicitor.

This is such an emotional roller coaster, but we are on our way! Think of us on Friday. Thanks all for your support.

Praying for you

[determinedmum]

Crown Court - dates set

So we had our first taste of Crown Court yesterday. Pleased to say I think we have a superb barrister who travelled down from London. She had such a good grasp of the case, and thinks we can 'respectfully dismantle' the prosecution case when it comes to court - which we now know will be starting on 24 July. So we have more than six months to prepare. My son returns to university tomorrow and life will continue, but we will be working hard in the background to build his defense and won't rest until he has the Not Guilty verdict.

Thanks all for your words of support. I know there will be times of intense activity over the coming months but hopefully we will be able to also function relatively normally for much of the time. Having something like this hanging over a loved one means it is never far from your mind - for me, as a mum, it's there all day every day but accompanied by differing degrees of anxiety / stress and this is helping me stay sane.

It was a relief to get yesterday's hearing out of the way. And we need to take moments of relief when ever and where ever we can. On we go ...