Newbie to forum... Neverending wait for bail date!

[justanotherday]

Hi All

I came across this site yesterday and so pleased i did, have spent the last 6 months thinking 'we can't be the only ones going through this'.

My hubby has been accused of abuse on a family member on several occasions since they were 5 (both same age), he was interviewed in May but has not yet been charged.... the 3rd bail date is now looming

SS have been involved and a bail condition is he can't be unsupervised with our son or any under 16.

We live in the South West and I've seen a reference to a recommended thread, but cannot seem to find it. Can somone point me in the right direction or any recommendations in the SW for a LA specialist firm?

Thanks in advance for any advice, sorry to see us all here

[Casehardened]

Hi and welcome to the forum,

This is probably the thread that was mentioned: http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

[justanotherday]

thats the one, thank you :-)

[Lucky]

Good luck with the rebail date !

Please feel free to ask us any questions or just general support related stuff

[Rights Fighter]

Since he was aged 5 years to when? I really can't see then prosecuting him for something when he was so young.....

[justanotherday]

Hi Rights Fighter

Starting at 5 years old and at varying stages throughout their lives, including one accusation after our sons 1st birthday party last year, which can be outed straight away as there were 40 other people in the house and she was the first to leave!!

There is one accusation of rape when she was over 16 and about 9 incidents of abuse. The police took all of our electricals and they have been returned after being looked at.

I hope they're not stupid enough to fall for it but I really dont have any faith in the justice system!!

[soulbug]

Doli Incapax will apply based on 5 - 10 a person is not capable of committing a crime , 10 - 14 ( pre 2009 ) Doli Incapax applies but is rebuttal......after the age of 14 then he is considered as fair game to the legal system, based on the accusations been historic , it will all come down to past history that can be proven , perhaps past allegations , medical reports , etc but if it goes to court , it might just come down to word against word.

I had a historic allegation made against me but the main difference by the sounds of things , is that my accusers dates put me under the age of 14 .

Below is a link to my post with regards to Doli Incapax

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...pax&highlight=

Just out of interest , how many of the dates that he is accused of would put him over the age of 14 to present date ?

[justanotherday]

Many thanks for the info soulbug, having thankfully never been in a situation like this before i had never heard of that!

i think 3 or 4 would put him over 14, although that includes one at our sons first birthday last year with 40 other people in the house!!

Hope it all worked out for your case?

thanks again :-)

[justanotherday]

so, I am gutted to let you all know that hubby was charged today :-(

He is in bits, I am too angry to think straight! Our 2 year old has had extra good night cuddles and kisses tonight.

I'm in the fight mindframe already, my husband however thinks his life is over - hopefully he'll realise this is his chance and he has to take it.

We have a good solicitor on board - the police wanted a bail condition that Mark couldn't see our son without SS 'contact agreement', our solicitor argued that as he has had contact all the way through (although supervised by me!) and it isn't a bail condition luckily.

Social will be in touch so who knows what they will say

Magistrates on 20th December.... Merry Christmas!!!

[sqounk]

so, I am gutted to let you all know that hubby was charged today :-(

Magistrates on 20th December.... Merry Christmas!!!

So sorry to hear this JAD. Thoughts are with you. But it aint over til he fat lady sings right?! Time to come out fighting! X

[YearsOfHell]

So sorry to hear this.
Just keep an eye on him while he works this out.
My OH was up and down.
Although never charged, he was very hard to live with for a while.
All you do is be tougher than ever.
His life is not over and he needs to know that you're there.
He might push you away but stand your ground.
You know him better than anyone so you'll know how to handle him.
Look after yourself too though or you'll be in burnout and no help to anyone.
Be there for him.
Buckle up for the next few months. It's a bumpy ride and about as bad as it gets.
Tell him we're here for him!
And here for you too!!
Big hugs
YoH

[justanotherday]

Thanks guys, it really is a comfort knowing there are so many people who are going through / survived the same thing.

We had a meeting with our solictor last night who has been great so far and is certainly ready to fight! She has already instructed Clare Dowse as our Barrister (obviously with our agreement) who is highly rated in these cases. Anyone used or heard anthing about her?

Hubby is much better today, after neither sleeping Thurs night and a shaky day yesterday we all slept well last night and having a chilled weekend. The solicitor really put his mind at ease and explained how important it is he focuses on his defense as know one knows what happened apart from him - I think this hit home and he's now ready to face it and fight with us.

Just dreading the SS call now, I know he's going to have to move out but solicitor said she will speak to them too and challenge this.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

[YearsOfHell]

SS didn't make my OH move out but I had to agree to protect the children from him through gritted teeth!!!
It goes against the grain but cooperation with them is the name of the game!
If they can be sure that you will be able to competently supervise his access to the children then they may agree to him staying in the house.
From their point of view it's a child protection issue, and because the only ones who know for sure what happened were the accused and the accuser then they can't be sure.
You too need to show that you recognise that and are prepared to protect the child/children while the case is open.
Signing the form to this effect is painful!!!
It's not nice but it may keep your family together.
Big hugs
YoH

[justanotherday]

We've played the SS game already, his original bail condition was he couldn't be with our Son unsupervised and that has continued. The lady we had from SS was really nice and I get that they're thinking of the children and they don't know the accused but I just hope it doesn't come to him moving out.

After th fist person I ever spoke to at SS opened the conversation with 'how are you coping with your husband being a paedophile' I learnt very quickly they are not their to help you!!

xx

[Rights Fighter]

In which area would the trial be in? I ask as you may want to know of any experienced solicitors can barristers. Would you be legally aided or private client?