In this Hell

[PRIH]

It pains me to say that I have joined you all in this nightmare.

I was accused over 4 months ago. Have not been arrested and therefore not bailed. Had my voluntary interview and my solicitor said that i had an "unusually sympathetic" OIC (towards me)....even going as far as to offer advice on places where I can get help as falsely accused.

At the time I was given the impression it would be sorted within the week and yet so far nothing. I have given all the evidence I can give and yet still I wait......It is brutal. Carrying on with everyday normal life seems impossible some days.

I am encouraged by the lack of arrest but the time it takes makes me second guess things every single day.

[YearsOfHell]

Welcome PRIH
Sorry you've had to join us, but welcome!
Yes, the lack of arrest can be viewed positively at this stage.
If they had enough evidence they would have arrested and charged you by now.
In the meantime, try and write an account of the incident or the circumstances that led to your being accused.
This may help to focus your mind on a something positive.
It can be a long and stressful ride but keep strong.
We're here to help
Keep posting
YoH

[Franticwithworry]

I echo everything YearsOfHell says. The length of time these things take is nothing short of torture but it is a case if 'no news is good news' for now.

[Ploppy]

Hello there and a sad welcome to you.

I've been where you are now ... it may help you to distract yourself with other activities... play an instrument (learn one if you don't already play), get a new hobby, anything to try and stimulate your mind in a direction away from this horrible problem.

Peace and strength to you.

[PRIH]

Thank you everyone.

As i am sure you all know some days are better than others with lows being particularly low. The FA is my wife and we separated over 2 years with the supposed incident being more than 2.5 years ago. In the past 18 months I have been through a lengthy court battle to see my children (I got lots and lots of contact!! ) and now the divorce proceedings are rumbling on. The financial aspect of the divorce is also causing me sleepless nights with her after money (of which i have none).

Is there anything she doesnt want to destroy or take away from me? How can it be this way? How could anyone i loved do this to me? I just want to get on with my life. The future seems so uncertain.

[Mr B]

PR1H

Your situation sounds like mine insofar as the FA is the Wife using our 5 Year old child as the weapon.

I am pleased you get contact & lots of it. I have not seem my daughter since Dec 2015. A second "Christmas" without even seeing her. So I am very happy for you & your children.

It is hard, but there are things worth more than money. Your children love you. You are healthy (I hope). It can be turned so you are financially viable. It can. This is a familiar model to the Courts.

You are not alone.
Kindest regards
Mr B

[PRIH]

PR1H

Your situation sounds like mine insofar as the FA is the Wife using our 5 Year old child as the weapon.

I am pleased you get contact & lots of it. I have not seem my daughter since Dec 2015. A second "Christmas" without even seeing her. So I am very happy for you & your children.

It is hard, but there are things worth more than money. Your children love you. You are healthy (I hope). It can be turned so you are financially viable. It can. This is a familiar model to the Courts.

You are not alone.
Kindest regards
Mr B

Thanks Mr B.

I too experienced a very lonely period of time last December without my children, I know how hard that is. I even started turning the Christmas adverts off. Make sure you keep social, see family and friends. It is the only way I got through it. My thoughts are with you.

This Christmas for me seems to be filled with the anxiety and stress of a serious false accusation. I told my counselor (i recommend everyone gets some counselling) that you get used to the dark cloud in the back of your head, always there. I used to feel physically sick everytime i was reminded but now i just feel numb, like there is nothing left in the tank. It has become normal to have this thing in my life.

[Lucky]

I love the words 'unusually sympathetic'...lol

Hoping that your gut feeling that this will go away is proven correct. I would tend to believe that too, given that if the police had anything substantial they would not have had a voluntary interview.

[Franticwithworry]

I love the words 'unusually sympathetic'...lol

Hoping that your gut feeling that this will go away is proven correct. I would tend to believe that too, given that if the police had anything substantial they would not have had a voluntary interview.

Regretfully, they don't seem to need anything more than an allegation to arrest. It seems to depend on the seriousness of the supposed crime and the preferred practice of the police force/oficer dealing with the complaint. That's our experience anyway.

My man was arrested and taken away in handcuffs and months later they admit there is no evidence, much less anything substantial. That said, the arresting officer(s) were courteous and helpful. Each police force seems to have its own way of doing things.