my story help pleasse

[Casehardened]

The prosecutor spoke first and after-reading the charges said we are happy for this to be delat with in the magistrates. My solicitor advised we should take it to Crown Court which may have surprised the prosecution team.

This confirms what I surmised in my post #2 in this thread, that the CPS consider this allegation to be at the lower end of the scale.

The magistrates tend to find defendants guilty, if legally possible, to avoid accusations of not being hard enough on crime which is probably why your solicitor suggested taking it to CC where the members of the public forming the jury will be more understanding of your situation.

Bearing in mind that your accuser is also your neighbour, how do you think the future will pan out if you openly admit guilt in court?

[ronuk99]

its 1:45 am and ive never felt solow as i dotonight. Even suicidal thoughts kept going through my head. I know 100% i am so inocent and im allowing this other person to make lies even under oath. Tonight i was so down i screeamed at my wife which terrified the hellout of her. i went for a walk and came home 2 hours letter . my poor wife was sat there still crying .Already she is on anti-depressants .myself im not in good health with heart problems . Now to save any more health problems for my family as my wife is beaten and i feel so sorry for her........im thinking of changing to GUILTY to get this over with otherwise its going tokill this family.mAYBE TOMORROW I WILL FEEL DIFFERENT AGAIN

Im wife of above .as much as isupport my husband i woke up this morning and he as litterly smashed our piano and conservatory. what can i do im so desperate now . my husband is breaking our home

[Rights Fighter]

To the husband. Oh right. So then she will find that she is married to a self-confessed sex offender. That will make her feel better. NOT.

To the wife. None of this is your fault hon. You are certainly going through hell - as is he.

Can you maybe persuade him back to the doctors to get some sort of anti-depressant and sedative? If he does not then he could end up doing some serious damage.

It might help if you see the GP as well, to help you cope

a) with the allegations and

b) with his behaviour.

Or is there somewhere you can go for a week to give both of you some space?

Hold on in there

[Franticwithworry]

Please consider making an emergency appointment to see your GP tomorrow if you can, and both of you attend. At our surgery we can call and explain the situation briefly to a receptionist and a Dr will call back and make an assessment to decide if an appointment as warranted.

ALL you have to tell the receptionist is that Mr .... Is having a mental breakdown. Nothing more. He doesn't have to tell the Dr WHY he is at the end of his tether only that he is and what the effects are - feelings and damage.

If you can't get through today, go to A&E and ask to be referred to the mental health team. You both need help and support and, Mrs ...... this is not your fault but you likely need help to cope too. Try, if you can, both of you, to meet this head on as a couple. This is happening to both of you.

Mr .... this is not your fault either and you don't need to tell the medical people the whole story, but you have a responsibility to protect your wife from the worst effects of this. I know you know this but its clear that you are struggling as to how to do it. You are also responsible for yourself and if this escalates your health will suffer even more. Pleading guilty is not the way to do it. Smashing up the house or worse, your wife, only makes things worse too. Please at least ask for more medical help.

Mrs ....... this isn't your fault either and if your husband won't accept your support, you have to protect yourself. You cannot risk this happening again. You have no control over the accuser and to a lesser extent your husband so you have to make yourself a priority especially where your safety is concerned. If your husband won't seek the help he clearly needs please consider going to stay with someone else for a while. Maybe the possibility of that is what he needs to do something to help himself.

I don't mean to sound harsh. You are both under immeasurable strain and it affects us all in many different ways. I hope that you can work your way through this. You have as much support and love here as we can muster.

Please don't let tge false accuser win.

[Rights Fighter]

I don't mean to sound harsh. You are both under immeasurable strain and it affects us all in many different ways. I hope that you can work your way through this. You have as much support and love here as we can muster.

Please don't let tge false accuser win.

Sometimes tough love has to be put into force otherwise. Mrs.... could end up in casualty if this continues. Is he drinking heavily?

[ronuk99]

Sometimes tough love has to be put into force otherwise. Mrs.... could end up in casualty if this continues. Is he drinking heavily?

Im actually filipino 47 yrs old . We been married 12 years and have 2 young boys.Poor ben, our son already suffers ADHD and struggling at school.Yes my husbnad really did smash out home to bits and windows .Id gone to church hoping he would calm down when i got home 3 police cars were parked in our driveway. They managed to stop him from smashing is car .wehen i went inside everything we have was damaged .our brand new tv .Leather setteee he slashed. thecarpets covered in glosss paint . he also set fire to the kitchen with some fuel . thE police have not made any charges as its our property even though he had to be restrained by four officers. He is now at the psychiatric unit .The police stayed with me most of the day and helped me clear the mess so terrible to look at . He dont drink which im thankful for

ive neverseen my husband like this ever. Never as he said a bad word or shouted at me in 12 years. Its will be a sadder day if my Husband goes to jail. Police advised him not to plead guilty and i know he wont. I have no family here.All very far in the Philippines thanks somuch for your support .

[Rights Fighter]

Oh my goodness. I am really so very sorry to see this. You are so far from home and with no support in the UK?

I must say, that it was most kind of the police to help you clear up. Many officers would not do that so credit to them.

If you are on Facebook it might help for you to join a support group I run on there. Look for PAFAA with SOFAP on there.

Support is almost instantaneous as people tend to stay logged in.

Hold on in there. You are not on your own.

[Franticwithworry]

I'm so sorry this has happened. How awful for you all. I'm glad though, that your husband is in a safe place and that the police were so kind.

It must be very isolating for you to have all your family so far away, but we will give you as much support as we can. Do take Rightsfighters advice about Facebook too. It's more active than here and responses often come a bit more quickly.

More

[ronuk99]

Latest update 12 December 2016

hELLO EVERYONE cANNOT SLEEP TONIGHT as my husband came home tonight from the psyciatric unit. He was kept there for 2 weeks . Not sure how much medication they gave him but he look aweful. He is welll asleep now /Gave me a big hug and smile and asked if he could sleep.Whilst he was away me and ben jason we got the house cleaned up and put up the tree .It was only that i found a smallbox with potasium cyanide.yet i dont see any medication inside .I know Ron did mnetion that if he was found Guilty it would be the end, so more worry for me .Thats why i just cannot sleep.

Our neighbour as also been causing trouble by throwing eggs and flour over our car- It wasnt nice to wake up with allthat to clean up. idid filea report to Police .

About the case: His solicitor spoke to me and said one word ..........SETUP becuase wen this woman askedron to come into her home to help.... as soon as he got in there she was laughing and joking. Already Rons PTSD was kicking in and was brought to the brink wen she said 'my husband fancied you wanted to **** you and planned to do it in is car......At that point is psychiatrist belives this triggered the utmost Ptsd and is memories of being mollested as a child. therefore did he put is hand on her knee in anger or not knowing.Thismay be is defence i dont know . what dou think?

My husband as PTSD . Wasterribly abused as a child . served 24 years in the army with 8 tours northern ireland and falklands war .Heas been though alot and i pray the judge will find him innocent . He is a good man with 2 boys agaed 5and 10 .Poor Ben suffers badly with ADHD

iVE Stoppedmy husband logging in here and changed the password so he may set up another

[AmandaF]

This is an absolutely appalling story- well, it's beyond appalling.
When I read the first posts your husband seemed like that scared little boy, all those years ago, wondering how to respond to the vile next door neighbour. I read it as though he was faced with his enemies from his childhood, from his army days, all over again.

I hope you all as a family are getting the help you need to see you through this.
Keep reporting your neighbour to the police- this is NOT the behaviour of a woman who has been assaulted - this is the behaviour of a psychotic individual. Is she upset that she no longer has free gifts from you and yours? I'd like to know whether she has history of similar actions towards neighbours. In my limited experience, people like this are repeat offenders.

[Franticwithworry]

Dear goodness, this is dreadful for you and your family. I'm glad to hear that your husband is home, but so sorry to hear about everything else. You are quite right to restrict you husband's access to the forum. Although there's lots of support here, the poor man will likely only focus on people who are struggling and not those who are coping well or the success stories. You are right to do your best to protect him from that.

Has he given his doctors and solicitor written permission to talk to you as well as to him? In these first few days when he is at home and relatively calm it might be as well to try to arrange that if it's not in place already. It sounds as though the solicitor is doing a good job for him so far.

As for this woman's behaviour - I agree with AmandaF, she sounds psychotic and likely has a history of this kind of behaviour. Please, document everything and don't be afraid to report it all to the police so that there is a record. Even if they say they can do nothing, still report it. It will build up until they can/must. If it's things like eggs on the car, take photos if you can too. It'll be easier to show the solicitor and the police what's happened with things like that rather than explain it and if it continues long enough it might count as evidence against her.

Finally, please come back here often. We will support you here as much as we can.

Best wishes to you all.

[ronuk99]

may 2nd

Its been sometime since i write here. My husband will go to trial on 2nd May. I am concerned that a neighbour also had same problems with this person and accused him of entering her garden and watching her children in the bath. The police was involved and found allegations to be untrue. My husband mentioned this to his solicitor and seems its being ignored . Does this not prove this accuser of gross lying no matter what and sure if the Jury listens to this it may help my husband. My husband as tryed several times to contact is solicitor but always on day off or in court or on a course. Time is running out. Any advice

[Rights Fighter]

Contact the senior partner of the firm and explain that time is marching on and the solicitor who has conduct of the case is not coming back to you at all. If you are not pestering him 24/7 then say so and explain why you believe this evidence should go in.

[ronuk99]

Contact the senior partner of the firm and explain that time is marching on and the solicitor who has conduct of the case is not coming back to you at all. If you are not pestering him 24/7 then say so and explain why you believe this evidence should go in.

regrettably my solicitor as still not got back to me . Sent 2 emails and telephoned to say he is not in office today. I know he is busy with other clients but time is getting short and i think this bit of evidence should be used to show this person is truly a liar and trouble maker. This neighbour as even thown eggs. garden waiste and rubish on our property, over our car etc . Ploice informed everytime but all they say is no proof . But considering its the only neighbouring house. ive taken pictures but solicitor only says its not proof???

[Rights Fighter]

As I have already said

Contact the senior partner of the firm and explain that time is marching on and the solicitor who has conduct of the case is not coming back to you at all.