accused of sex without consent with wife

[Aman]

On thursday, while i was lying naked with my wife in our room as we live in shared house. Someone knocked and open the door asking for me with my name. I asked who he is and he replied police. I and my wife asked whether he can give us time to wear clothes he said no I hv to keep an eye on me.

He took me downstairs and informed me my wife has made allegations of unconsented sex and that I m very controlling. They took me to police station and in custody for almost 24 hours. I asked for a solicitor which was arranged. She told me what accusitions were n prepared me for recorded interview.

Just to mention i married a failed asylum seeker who is now 12 weeks pregnant. I gave answers as my solicitir told me I come across very reliable and confident.

I was bailed until January. They kept my phone but my solicitor told me not to provide with unless cking passcode.

I work for council and as a result lost my jib.

Thanks and any advise will be appreciated.

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum but sorry that you have needed to find us.

Unfortunately this senario (accusation of rape being made to bolster asylum application) has been played out on the forum before; as usual I can't remember the member's usernames but maybe they will see your post and offer support.

In the meantime there is some general advice in this link:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[Mr B]

Aman

Sorry to hear of your situation. It is however very common for failed asylum seekers to do this. Read the forum, research it. You will see that you are not alone.
I am sure more experienced members will be along presently to help in this well worn but distressing time. You seem to have a line on motivation (indefinite leave to remain, so hopefully this will serve you well).
Come back often.

Kindest regards
Mr B

[Aman]

Its indeed very distressful. For me I love her and still want her back. My sleep is gone and i was very sick and unable to sleep all night. Havw no family here who I can ask support for. What happened is we had an argument and in anger I told her that I will divorce her. It was done and dusted and one day she was looking very sick and down so asked her to go to GP as she is 12-13 weeks pregnant. She told GP about the argument and he called police who came and arrested me and while I was in custody she was transferred to some other time place. And i was bailed on condition I do not contact her. I am so unsure about what all happened as when police cane to arrest me we were lying in one bed. Maybe she got scared as she was very afraid of police and gave the statement. I am unsure whether to get in contact to get her side of story but know that will put me in danger. No idea what to do am so done.

I have british citizenship. Sometimes thinking to leave everything and leve to my country to my parents but that mean that her allegations will be deemed true.

Sorry but i dont know what to do.
Aman.


QUOTE=Mr B;66871]Aman

Sorry to hear of your situation. It is however very common for failed asylum seekers to do this. Read the forum, research it. You will see that you are not alone.
I am sure more experienced members will be along presently to help in this well worn but distressing time. You seem to have a line on motivation (indefinite leave to remain, so hopefully this will serve you well).
Come back often.

Kindest regards
Mr B[/QUOTE]

[Aman]

Help

Could any senior member reply on my last post as I am very tempted to contact her and speak to her.
Regards and thankss

[YearsOfHell]

Firstly, try not to panic.
It's very important that you don't break your bail conditions!
The police will not appreciate you doing that and at this stage you can't afford to annoy the police.
Just remember you have done nothing wrong!
Don't start now by ignoring their conditions!
Try and focus and your innocence.
It's a waiting game and you will be driven totally mad by the slowness of the process.
This is very early days!
Take time to process what's happened and wait!
Wait, wait and wait some more!
If anything you'll learn patience!
Keep strong!
YoH

[terrifieddad]

Don't even think about it

I'm not saying that you will be charged, though the likelihood these days is that if sex is proven and you can't prove consent, you probably will be. If and when any charges are made, any breach of bail conditions is not going to go down well in the magistrates court and if you haven't already been remanded in custody by then, you probably will be or at least bailed by the courts on much stricter conditions.

I know how tempting it can be to contact the accuser. Even more so if you have children together. Just resist that temptation at all costs. If you are remanded, whilst it shouldn't affect your trial, it certainly doesn't help. Plus mounting a defence from inside is going to be much more difficult.

I know it's hard, but you will have a very long wait. In my case, I waited 6 months for a charging decision, and that is by no means slow compared to others on this forum. When I answered bail at the police station, they held me in custody because I was feeling depressed and almost fainted, claiming they believed I might try to interfere with witnesses! Perhaps they hoped to shock me into a confession or hoped remand would strengthen their case. In the event, the CPS agreed that there was no need to change my conditions and the magistrates released me. If you break your conditions, they will not look so favourably on you.

[Aman]

Thanks. I am so thankful for this advice.
Regards and hope I go up until then.
Already suspended from my council job with full salary.
Dont know what to do and how to sit idle in home but will try
Ama

[terrifieddad]

Find something to occupy your time. If you can't work, you need a hobby. Go to the gym, go for walks. Anything, especially something that gets you out of the house. There is nothing worse than sitting staring at the same four walls. If you play a musical instrument, play it - my guitar has been my lifeline. If you don't play an instrument, learn one!

[Aman]

re. going abroad while on bail

Hi I was bailed on some conditions eg.
-Not to get in contact with so called victim
-Not to go near the school from her son

There was no restriction about me travelling. I just want to know whether me going to India will make my case any weaker. my next date is in January 10th.

This is because I am on my own here and my parents and all family is in India. They cannot support me and I feel very weak and unsettled at the moment and this will be good for my mental health. I spoke to my job and they said that they are able to give me 2 months additional holidays on top of my holidays with full pay.

I have no idea whether I can go or not as solicitor is herself unsure. In my view I have to meet the conditions on the bail and can otherwise travel.

Thanks
Aman

[Casehardened]

If the police were concerned that you might travel abroad to escape justice they would have seized your passport (and of course you could read some positive signs from this!)

However I would be inclined to check with the OIC as there is a remote possibility you might get stopped at the airport. The risk with asking though is that they might say no just to cover their backs! Quite a difficult call really....

[Aman]

please advise

any other advise or experience on going abroad while on bail.

[Lucky]

don't break your bail conditions whatever you do

the way you're acting here, almost supports the notion of you being very controlling.

get your solicitor to do anything on your behalf, if you need to find out whats going on.

there are some good ones out there, if you look at the right thread here, or try the ones ppl recommend.

good luck mate

[Casehardened]

the way you're acting here, almost supports the notion of you being very controlling.

...new members sometimes don't appreciate we are not a charity or agency and all who post are donating of their own time in doing so...

[Aman]

Sorry if I offended

...new members sometimes don't appreciate we are not a charity or agency and all who post are donating of their own time in doing so...

Hello all,

I do appreciate all your replies and maybe I am not myself I wrote this. I am very sorry but there was no attention to hurt anyone. Casehardened I am very sorry.

The fact is that I am on my own here in this country and all my family is in India. My wife alleged me such horrendous crime which I cannot believe myself. Not able to speak to anyone or not having any support have bought me to ground. went to see movie to pass time and take my minds off but it didnt work. I still love that lady like I did before even if she seem to have used me. I cannot get over the fact this happened.

I was thinking of giving up when I called my parents and they asked me that its not good to be alone and whether I can come there so that they can support me, thats why we asked.

I am very sorry.

Aman