I feel Completely lost

[surplusyew]

As above really I'm feeling so down and low and scared of what I might do,

Essentially my sister has accused me of abusing her and raping her penertravely on 3 occasions between 2000-2006. All of the allegations are entirely false and fabricated.

I didn't have a great childhood and both of us being adopted had a very hard time dealing with that,

I was a particualry bad kid who would kick off and shout and fight with my parents to get my own way and was also in a lot of trouble with the police at that age too for various public order offences, she says I bullied her and used to be really cruel to her, but we never fought any more than other normal brothers and sisters,

She is 5 years younger than me and I would of been between 9-14 when she has accused me of this.

She has a girlfriend which my wife and family feel that its her making my sister make these lies up, she gave a very graphic statement to the police and her girlfriend is a witness (somehow?). My sister is currently very depressed and has tried to kill her self on multiple occasions recently. She also claims my father witnessed it to which he obviously didn't when it never happened. When this had supposedly happened I was very rarely at home and was out with girls and sometimes I was staying at friends houses for long periods (i.e 6-8 weeks at a time) I also met my now wife at 14 and had our first child at 15

Which brings me to the hardest part that I have had to leave the family home and I'm not allowed any physical contact with the kids but I am allowed to phone them. I'm currently on police bail until October for rape of a child under 13 and living in a room Ive rented.

I feel that my sister may be financially motivated as recently Iv had around 14k of my parents and she is struggling to fund her drug addiction. I just don't know what to do, my solicitor has said theres nothing we can do until the police charge or nfa the case but the waiting is literally killing me and its ruined my mental health. I just cant figure out whw she has done this to me and my family and I'm terrified that it goes to court as my solicitor essentially said its my word against hers and who ever the jury believes on the day.

I was alos asked if Ive ever used a window to access my parent house to which I replied yes but only with her permission and no one else was home, Which has completely confused me as to why they asked me that,

I work around kids as well so Ive lost my job and literally have nothing, it just makes me think whats the point of carrying on as if I get convicted of this when I haven't done anything I may never see my kids again,

The only upside to this whole sorry situation is that my wife and her family believe me entirely and I can only imagine the position this has put my parents in,

Please can anyone give me some advise to this situation as I cant seem to find anything online at all

[YearsOfHell]

So sorry you've had to find the us here, but welcome.

Sadly a very familiar scenario to the forum.
Unfortunately your solicitor is correct, there's nothing they can do unless you're charged.
It's a nightmare, and you must feel desperate.
But you must hang in there!
You're innocent and that's a fact.
Unless you're charged it's just a waiting game.
Try and find something to focus on if you can.
The case is totally out of your control now and you must accept that and try and keep going.
It will be hard and you'll have bad days but there will be good days again.

Remember this situation is not of your making!
You've nothing to feel bad about.

Your family support will go a long way to seeing you through.
Keep posting when you need support while your waiting in this hell.

Hang in there
Big hugs
YoH

[surplusyew]

Thanks for your kind message,

I hate being in this situation and even as you say its not of my own making your made to feel so guilty through the whole process,

whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty

[surplusyew]

Also she has come on holiday with my wife and I, slept over , gone out drinking etc etc

Surely if your brother did all these evil things to you then you wouldn't of done all that

[Rights Fighter]

If all this is supposed to have happened when you were aged 9 - 14 and that was many years ago, it is unlikely they would be able to prosecute due to something called Doli Incapax

http://www.publications.parliament.u...57/157we17.htm

4. THE ABOLITION OF DOLI INCAPAX

4.2 The age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales is 10 despite the recommendations in the Ingleby Report (1960) and by others that it be raised to 12 or 14 in line with most Western European societies.[180] In Scotland it is eight, but in the context of a welfare rather than a judicial model of youth justice. One argument for retaining the relatively low age of 10 was that the system protected 10-13 year old children inclusive by the presumption of doli incapax, a long established principle that children of this age were "incapable of crime" due to their immaturity, unless proven otherwise. Unless criminal intent could be established, therefore, offenders under the age of 14 were subject, broadly speaking, to welfare disposals rather than criminal prosecution. Doli incapax was abolished by the Crime and Disorder Act 1998. This was done without a review of the law relating to children's behaviour, which had been recommended by the Law Lords in C vs DPP 1995; the Law Lords had anxieties over the impact of the low age of criminal responsibility operating without the protection of doli incapax.

If your sister has a serious drug habit there should be medical and counselling records available, should this come to a charge (depending on the Doli Incapax angle).

You have stated that there are people who she claims to have witnessed some of this, who will deny that. It is unlikely that the police will bother to interview those people so please don't be upset or surprised if they do not. They tend to only "investigate" "evidence" that might assist the case for a prosecution.

Keep on posting and you will get support.

Hold on in there

[surplusyew]

But as this was after 1998 wouldn't that man it didn't apply? and wouldn't using this defence also mean admitting guilt?

[Rights Fighter]

People often ask that. It doesn't mean admitting guilt if you have not done it. And it might still apply depending on the circumstances.

Hold on in there. If this does come to charge, whereabouts in the UK would the trial be? (Usually close to where it is supposed to have happened). If I know that I might be able to recommend a decent solicitor for you.

[surplusyew]

It would be Exeter crown court,

Any recommendation would be brilliant, its great being able to discuss this on here which is at least giving me some hope

[Rights Fighter]

http://www.nunnrickard.co.uk/solicitors.html

Stephen Nunn is the one you would need..... they won't be able to do anything at the moment as there will be no disclosure / paperwork so not really much point in contacting them at the moment.

[Imthevictim]

I'm really sorry that you are in this situation and that this is being done to you. It must be even more painful that your sister is doing this too you and doubly painful
Not being able to see your children.

The complete loss of the ability to be able to do anything about what is happening is what I think is the hardest to deal. Everything spiralling out of control on a ludicrous witch hunt and you seem to be the only person who knows...

I can't really give any practical advice, but I'm sure things WILL get easier to over time although there are ups and downs.

Just keep breathing

[surplusyew]

Thanks for all the replies so far. Its been a great help. Ive recently been writing about my past from about the age of 8 to 16 which is the timeframe this is supposedly happened over.

Ive included so much detail and I think it will be a great help to my defence should it be required. Some of the details that have emerged from the police have been dismissed by my parents such as the furniture in my bedroom at the time which wasnt there when she says it was but rather much later and that I was living away from the house for 6 weeks when another inicident was supposedly commited so now Im starting to hope that when the police have spoken to my parents they will drop it.

On another note the social worker admitted ahe thought it was malicious and has allowed supervised contact with the kids through my wifes mum anytime I like for how long I want to see them which has been great. She also said as soon as this is nfa'd then I can move straight home.

But she said when and not if which has also raised my hopes a bit too. Ive got myself another job and Im just throwing myself into that at the moment which is helping me get through each day. Im having good days and bad ones too but Im still preparing my self for the worst case of prison time but Im hoping it wont even go to charge.

All I can say to all of you guys and girls in this situation is to keep your head up and get on with it and hope its over quickly. I feel so badly for all of you that have partnera in prison when they are innocent or for anybody going through this hell but its so important for yourself to try and hold your head high. Afterall we havent done anything and all my freinds and family are so supportive. Dont keep it to yourself tell others so they can help you.

I will keep this thread updated with things as they happen but fingers crossed my nightmare is over soon and I can go home to my family and get on with my life

[surplusyew]

Hi All,

Its time for an update,

This has now been going on for 4 weeks and I was starting to feel abit more positive with the meds from my GP,

However this morning I've learnt a few new things.

1) (Good News I think) My sister in an argument has admitted to my Mother that she had lied and would make more lies up if she did not give my sister more support and my kids and wife less support

2) (Bad news) My sisters girlfriend is accusing me of driving her home a very long way and asking her odd questions about her sexuality and whether she had been with boys etc etc, Then she states I stopped the car and touched her to which she claims she shouted at me. This is entirely untrue, although I did give her a lift home once and did ask how long she had been gay for Jokingly, to which she laughed and said she had always been gay. (I feel that her claims may be why my sister is lying)

3) (Also bad news) My sisters friend claims that when she was visting once that I sexually assaulted her the next morning, However I wasn't living there at the time but did visit that morning and left with my parents before my sister and her friends woke up.

So my solicitor says not to go to the police with my sister admitting she was Lying and to wait and see if I get charged or not. Also its making me feel a lot worse with her friends now also lying trying to reaffirm her case against me. It feels like there is a witchhunt going on behind my back and they wont stop until I'm in prision. My wifes mum can now do supervised contact with the kids for me in and out of the house but they wont allow my mum to do it or my wife. Which has left me a bit puzzled.

So all in all I now feel completely screwed again and I cant keep up the waiting and just need some answers as to when this will end

[Casehardened]

So my solicitor says not to go to the police with my sister admitting she was Lying and to wait and see if I get charged or not.

Agreed, she will re-interviewed about this admission if you take it to the police and possibly come up with an explanation; more importantly she will be prepared for any cross-examination should it go to court.

If you are charged your mother can give a statement about this admission and your barrister can 'ambush' your sister with it.

The accusations being made by your sister's friends are only really significant if they take these to the police, I suspect that as they are not true this is unlikely to happen. It is probably a bit of psychological warfare on your sister's part to grind you down!

[surplusyew]

from what I understand my sister has informed the police of these accusations and they have approached the 'victims' as it seems to suit their agenda

[surplusyew]

Just to add a bit more in, now I have also allegedly climbed in a window and raped my sisters girlfriend. However none of this has been put to me by the police so if they are pursuing that line of enquirey surely they have to reinterview me to give me a chance to defend the allegations? right?