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Hi all I'm new to this but i didn't know where else to turn.
Where To Start
It was a friend of mine that told me about this site, as i dont really have anyone else to turn to,
I dont talk to my family, i dont have any friends as they have all decided that they only there when they want something.
I feel alone, i can't sleep and i miss my wife and my kids so much.
This story is a really long one and it started back 2 years ago.
My two eldest children were adopted when i was in my early 20's. I separated from their mother and because of the situation at the time they were eventually taken into care , fostered and then adopted when they were 3 - 4 years old. up until 3 years ago i never had any contact with them or never saw them. I fought the courts and Social Services all the way right up until the very end, but because i couldnt provide them with a stable home due to moving around all the time, they eventually got adopted.
3 years ago i got in touch with my eldest daughter who i found through facebook, and it was there i found my other daughter too.
they both came to live in the area where i was living and everything was great up until i found out they were both going to have children.
Unfortunately due to circumstances and not listening to advice and help from not only myself but my partner too. They both lost their children to social services and both were places under a SGO . i was really annoyed because i bonded so well with both my grand children and then to lose them like that was a complete shock to my system, and thats when things started going down hilll for me.
i started arguing with them alll the time and had some major fallouts which resulted in me not talking to them for months,
I have tried to be there for them but it always ended up doing more harm than good.
I think they have always resented the fact that i have never been able to be there for them to bring them up. And i know this as they have both told me this too.
I started working with one of them and was running a successful business working along side one of my daughters, things going really well for 2 years, then my eldest daughter and my daughters boyfriend and even my wife started getting jealous because me and my daughter had so much in common, same taste in music, same hobbies, both loved singing, entertaining and spent a lot of time together working and getting to know each other after 16 years of not being able to see them or talk to them. my eldest daughter moved out of the area by this time too, but that was up until October last year when things took a tragic turn for the worse and my whole life fell apart.
I was accused of sleeping with my own daughter, There is no proof that i have done this and i 100% deny this and so does my daughter.
It all started one night in october myself and my wife were due to go away to a family wedding, unfortunately I had an important hospital appointment the next day so i couldnt go. That evening there was Myself, My father In Law, and my 7 children all sat there watching a movie on tv. When the movie finished the kids went to bed as did my father in law, My two eldest who didnt live with me at the time then decided they were going home too. So they left, so i thought right im not expecting anybody now at this time of night. Little did i know that one of my daughters had accidently left a couple of bags behind that she forgot about. So i started getting undressed for bed as my wife and i slept on the sofa anyway as the bedroom was too windy as the house we were in at the time was in bad need of repairs which the landlady failed to attend to, anyway i was getting undressed when somebody came back through the door again, as i forgot to lock it before i got ready for bed, The next thing i know my second eldest daughter comes flying through the door to collect the bags, as she did so, my 3rd eldest daughter came downstairs just after she came through the door, Coincidence you say . Wrong, It was my wife who sent her downstairs to check to make sure that everybody had either gone to bed or gone home as my wife and my daughters never really got on anyway. she hated the fact they were back in my life again after 16 years of not seeing or speaking to them. Anyway what my 16 year old daughter "apparently" saw she told her mum (my wife) She told her i was naked which i wasn't, in fact i had a pair of boxers on and was underneath a blanket as i pulled it on me as soon as my 22 year old daughter came in the room.
um
The very next day i was arrested 6 hours before iw as due to start work, I didn't get a solicitor as i had nothing to hide and was not guilty of anything, by 2pm i was released with a letter saying NFA. Since then my wife and i have been constantly arguing and it got to the point where i lost my temper and i smashed a few things belonging to me Mostly my mobile phones or computer mouse whatever was handy at the time but it was always my own stuff. One day the arguments got that bad that i punched a glass picture frame which shattered everywhere, the next thing i know The police and social services arrive at the door and as a result I was forced by social services and the police to move out of my family home and not see my children who i had 5 with my wife. i was looking after them daily taking them to school, cooking their dinners, doing their washing, drying and running around after them while my wife had 3 jobs during the day and i had one job at night working 4 nights sometimes 5 nights a week. Since that day i was asked to leave the family home. Social services are now saying that something did happen even though they have no proof and only what my 16 year olfd daughter told them, but now through jealousy as i didnt see her for 2 years cos she put her friends first before her own family, My eldest daughter who is 23 has told social services she will do a statement against me to say what myself and my 22 year old daughter was like together. Jealous........ yes very much so. as she never got to work with me and we dont have anything in common at all.
Because myself and my 22 year old have so much in common and yes we have got close because we had 16 years to catch up on which i also tried to do with my 23 year old and she just simply didnt want to know and wanted to hang around with friends instead. And also because myself and my 22 year old had so much in common, music, hobbies and we made a great team for work too. But that was it. and now my 23 year old has decided that there was more to it. Now the NFA was done in october last year and i was removed from the home in December last year, so since then myself and my wife have been fighting with social services to keep our family and my kids. who are currently living with my wife.
But only trouble now is i only see my kids once a week for an hour and a half. And I Live alone, im scared im going to lose everything, my wife, kids, my family. I can't sleep i dont always eat as i hate cooking for myself as im used to cooking for not only myself but for my wife and kids too.
I do get depressed, but not only is my whole life being ripped apart but my work is also being affected by what happened too. literally my whole life is falling apart and i dont know what i can do to stop this or prevent things getting any worse.
A few times i have just wanted to give up as that is how im feeling at the moment, I dont have any friends as nobody comes and sees me, although apparently i have friends or good friends but i never once see them even though they live 2 mins walk from my house, yet they see my wife who lives 10 mins by car from their house. I have nobody to talk to, The only family i talk to is my mum who lives over 300 miles away from me and i speak to her once every 2 weeks. other than that i dont have anybody and i am now really worried that this is going to get all dragged up yet again
I dont know who to turn to or who to trust anymore as the people where i live are all talking about me behind my back,
Please help a very lost and alone dad. I dont know what else to do as i no longer see my daughter and i no longer work with my daughter either which is now affecting my business. And my wife is blaming her for us being apart, she has had to move to another town, We are currently fighting social services in court due again end of the month to keep the kids as they want to take them away from us evern though we have done everything they have ever asked us to do. Even now im sat here in tears as my 15yr old daughter has been self harming since last year and my wife aqnd i are getting the blame for it even though she started it because she was being bullied at school, and started getting better up until last week when a so called friend thought it would be a good idea to light a flame near her which tipped her over and she self harmed again only thids time social services thought it be a good idea to put her in hospital about 20 miles away from where we live, she has been there since thursday as they were not allowing her to go home hopefully she will be allowed home today, she didnt even want to go to hospital but had no choice. she hates it there and if she carries on staying in there she will do something silly as she is really good at hiding things.
I apologise for the long story but thats it now, so as you can see my life has been completely ripped right apart and dont know what else to do or who to turn to or who to trust anymore.
From a very lonely and broken dad
Please help.
Thankyou
Where To Start
It was a friend of mine that told me about this site, as i dont really have anyone else to turn to,
I dont talk to my family, i dont have any friends as they have all decided that they only there when they want something.
I feel alone, i can't sleep and i miss my wife and my kids so much.
This story is a really long one and it started back 2 years ago.
My two eldest children were adopted when i was in my early 20's. I separated from their mother and because of the situation at the time they were eventually taken into care , fostered and then adopted when they were 3 - 4 years old. up until 3 years ago i never had any contact with them or never saw them. I fought the courts and Social Services all the way right up until the very end, but because i couldnt provide them with a stable home due to moving around all the time, they eventually got adopted.
3 years ago i got in touch with my eldest daughter who i found through facebook, and it was there i found my other daughter too.
they both came to live in the area where i was living and everything was great up until i found out they were both going to have children.
Unfortunately due to circumstances and not listening to advice and help from not only myself but my partner too. They both lost their children to social services and both were places under a SGO . i was really annoyed because i bonded so well with both my grand children and then to lose them like that was a complete shock to my system, and thats when things started going down hilll for me.
i started arguing with them alll the time and had some major fallouts which resulted in me not talking to them for months,
I have tried to be there for them but it always ended up doing more harm than good.
I think they have always resented the fact that i have never been able to be there for them to bring them up. And i know this as they have both told me this too.
I started working with one of them and was running a successful business working along side one of my daughters, things going really well for 2 years, then my eldest daughter and my daughters boyfriend and even my wife started getting jealous because me and my daughter had so much in common, same taste in music, same hobbies, both loved singing, entertaining and spent a lot of time together working and getting to know each other after 16 years of not being able to see them or talk to them. my eldest daughter moved out of the area by this time too, but that was up until October last year when things took a tragic turn for the worse and my whole life fell apart.
I was accused of sleeping with my own daughter, There is no proof that i have done this and i 100% deny this and so does my daughter.
It all started one night in october myself and my wife were due to go away to a family wedding, unfortunately I had an important hospital appointment the next day so i couldnt go. That evening there was Myself, My father In Law, and my 7 children all sat there watching a movie on tv. When the movie finished the kids went to bed as did my father in law, My two eldest who didnt live with me at the time then decided they were going home too. So they left, so i thought right im not expecting anybody now at this time of night. Little did i know that one of my daughters had accidently left a couple of bags behind that she forgot about. So i started getting undressed for bed as my wife and i slept on the sofa anyway as the bedroom was too windy as the house we were in at the time was in bad need of repairs which the landlady failed to attend to, anyway i was getting undressed when somebody came back through the door again, as i forgot to lock it before i got ready for bed, The next thing i know my second eldest daughter comes flying through the door to collect the bags, as she did so, my 3rd eldest daughter came downstairs just after she came through the door, Coincidence you say . Wrong, It was my wife who sent her downstairs to check to make sure that everybody had either gone to bed or gone home as my wife and my daughters never really got on anyway. she hated the fact they were back in my life again after 16 years of not seeing or speaking to them. Anyway what my 16 year old daughter "apparently" saw she told her mum (my wife) She told her i was naked which i wasn't, in fact i had a pair of boxers on and was underneath a blanket as i pulled it on me as soon as my 22 year old daughter came in the room.
um
The very next day i was arrested 6 hours before iw as due to start work, I didn't get a solicitor as i had nothing to hide and was not guilty of anything, by 2pm i was released with a letter saying NFA. Since then my wife and i have been constantly arguing and it got to the point where i lost my temper and i smashed a few things belonging to me Mostly my mobile phones or computer mouse whatever was handy at the time but it was always my own stuff. One day the arguments got that bad that i punched a glass picture frame which shattered everywhere, the next thing i know The police and social services arrive at the door and as a result I was forced by social services and the police to move out of my family home and not see my children who i had 5 with my wife. i was looking after them daily taking them to school, cooking their dinners, doing their washing, drying and running around after them while my wife had 3 jobs during the day and i had one job at night working 4 nights sometimes 5 nights a week. Since that day i was asked to leave the family home. Social services are now saying that something did happen even though they have no proof and only what my 16 year olfd daughter told them, but now through jealousy as i didnt see her for 2 years cos she put her friends first before her own family, My eldest daughter who is 23 has told social services she will do a statement against me to say what myself and my 22 year old daughter was like together. Jealous........ yes very much so. as she never got to work with me and we dont have anything in common at all.
Because myself and my 22 year old have so much in common and yes we have got close because we had 16 years to catch up on which i also tried to do with my 23 year old and she just simply didnt want to know and wanted to hang around with friends instead. And also because myself and my 22 year old had so much in common, music, hobbies and we made a great team for work too. But that was it. and now my 23 year old has decided that there was more to it. Now the NFA was done in october last year and i was removed from the home in December last year, so since then myself and my wife have been fighting with social services to keep our family and my kids. who are currently living with my wife.
But only trouble now is i only see my kids once a week for an hour and a half. And I Live alone, im scared im going to lose everything, my wife, kids, my family. I can't sleep i dont always eat as i hate cooking for myself as im used to cooking for not only myself but for my wife and kids too.
I do get depressed, but not only is my whole life being ripped apart but my work is also being affected by what happened too. literally my whole life is falling apart and i dont know what i can do to stop this or prevent things getting any worse.
A few times i have just wanted to give up as that is how im feeling at the moment, I dont have any friends as nobody comes and sees me, although apparently i have friends or good friends but i never once see them even though they live 2 mins walk from my house, yet they see my wife who lives 10 mins by car from their house. I have nobody to talk to, The only family i talk to is my mum who lives over 300 miles away from me and i speak to her once every 2 weeks. other than that i dont have anybody and i am now really worried that this is going to get all dragged up yet again
I dont know who to turn to or who to trust anymore as the people where i live are all talking about me behind my back,
Please help a very lost and alone dad. I dont know what else to do as i no longer see my daughter and i no longer work with my daughter either which is now affecting my business. And my wife is blaming her for us being apart, she has had to move to another town, We are currently fighting social services in court due again end of the month to keep the kids as they want to take them away from us evern though we have done everything they have ever asked us to do. Even now im sat here in tears as my 15yr old daughter has been self harming since last year and my wife aqnd i are getting the blame for it even though she started it because she was being bullied at school, and started getting better up until last week when a so called friend thought it would be a good idea to light a flame near her which tipped her over and she self harmed again only thids time social services thought it be a good idea to put her in hospital about 20 miles away from where we live, she has been there since thursday as they were not allowing her to go home hopefully she will be allowed home today, she didnt even want to go to hospital but had no choice. she hates it there and if she carries on staying in there she will do something silly as she is really good at hiding things.
I apologise for the long story but thats it now, so as you can see my life has been completely ripped right apart and dont know what else to do or who to turn to or who to trust anymore.
From a very lonely and broken dad
Please help.
Thankyou
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