Accused of raping my step daughter from 14 to 17.

[Broken-hearted]

It's good that you have been prescribed something. Bare in mind that they take a couple of weeks to build up in your system and sometimes dose needs increasing until find therapeutic level. Glad you also have some support from someone who knows about the allegations that have been made.

I keep trying to get my partner to join but he is too scared to do so. Even told him about you having posted on here to try and encourage it but still won't. Hoping he changes his mind in time.

[Extremely anxious]

It would be good for him, I've looked at what they need for a historic rape charge and it's scary. Just the accusation is evidence in itself. I thought we where civilized. It makes it look like a case of who's story is more believable. I especially can't cope with a courtroom in this state. But it's wait and see. He should talk to people on here, it will do him good.

[Broken-hearted]

I know I've been trying to encourage him so for the last few weeks to no avail. He has managed to tell some of his close friends who support him 100% so that is good. I am trying but hard for me to know who is being truthful cannot imagine him ever doing that but can't believe she would say this. Glad that your wife is there 100% as he says how bad he feels that I cannot say the same to him so that must be something positive for you that she is standing by you through all this.

Like you say in the historic cases (although it looks like cases that are old enough that there would be no physical evidence are sometimes classed under this too) it seems that it does come down to one word against another. And defendants ability to put across that they are innocent and evidence this. Partner is making notes on everything that he can remember for solicitor should he need them. Think worse thing about allegations of this nature are that it does feel that it is all guilty until proven innocent rather than the other way round.

Have you had a good read through the threads? There are some similar cases that had been posted on here, I trawled through every post when I first joined. I do drive myself demented at times reading everything.

You just have to take one day at a time and like I say everyone says it does get easier so fingers crossed. Loads of supportive people on here though

[Extremely anxious]

I've read the threads, it's nasty at times. I'm 45 and the sentences are so big. I'm terrified, I don't have all the time in the world left. I have a couple chronic illnesses and really don't want my last days to be in a cell. But I'm at the mercy of the justice system now. I know people talk about nfa's. But after reading the horror stories I wonder if they actually exist.

[terrifieddad]

I am exactly the same. I dwelt too much on the worst case scenario. Thoughts of becoming someone's ***** in prison for 15 years terrified the hell out of me. IF it comes to prison, most sex offenders go on protection. Prison is no cakewalk but it isn't Midnight Express, Wentworth or Bad Girls (mostly anyway). But there is a very long way to go before it gets that far. I was in court myself today to enter a plea, almost 6 months after being arrested. And even that should have been a few weeks away yet. My trial date was fixed for December. Even if I'm found guilty, sentencing could end up waiting until the new year.

I guess what I'm saying is, you will have plenty of time to get your head straight and there is very little chance of you being incarcerated this year. I know it's hard - my own personal hell will have lasted a year before I get a verdict - assuming no hung jury and retrial. What I now regret most are those wasted days when I was dwelling on things. Just fill your time as best you can. The thoughts you are having are perfectly normal and this is distressing enough for those who aren't depressed to begin with. It really does get easier, and I think those of us who are pessimistic to start with have an advantage. We have already imagined the worst is worse than it actually could be. From now on all roads lead to better places. We are here for you when you have a wobble.

And if nothing else, you can't let her ruin your life without a fight. Not just for you, but for all the innocent men who have to find this forum. We all have a duty to each other to make it harder for these women (and men) to get away with ruining people's lives.

[Broken-hearted]

Keep wanting to ask you questions but aware of this being public forum.

We are mid 30s so although younger totally get what you are saying. It's hard not to worry about worst case scenarios but just have to keep hoping for the no further action. Don't know what she has said in her interview and when they collect other info it could be that there is not enough there to charge on. If they do have enough to make the decision to charge then fight to prove your innocence. Is there no chance that she may retract? Does she have anything to gain by doing this?

[Extremely anxious]

Very well said. You are totally right. The thing I struggle with is that I'm accused of it every week for around x amount of years and nobody noticed this was happening. I really feel like screaming to be honest. I'm really trying to hold it together for my loved ones. It doesn't help that with legal aid the defense solicitor can seem restricted. And the prosecution uses the best they can.

[terrifieddad]

At this stage there isn't much any solicitor can do. Disclosure of evidence doesn't come until after charging, and if you're NFA'd you won't find out what your accuser has said. Basically if you hired a private solicitor at this stage, you'd be paying them to tell you that there's not much they can do, so you can be thankful for that at least!

[Broken-hearted]

I suppose it's not worry about that bridge unless you have to cross it. Good list on here of recommended solicitors both legal aid and private that have reputation of being successful in these cases.

Must be hard if as you say stuff had been said in the past but nothing came of it. Maybe if the case progresses that is stuff that can be shared with your solicitor if there is information that would support you. These cases all seem so different when read the posts and seem to be so many influencing factors which I struggle with as its not all black and white.

[Extremely anxious]

I'm thinking money. And a few other reasons. No she won't retract, she's the type of person that doesn't know the meaning. I think she thinks I took her away from her mum. Yeah I know it's public, it's why I'm watching what I say too.

[Broken-hearted]

Well fingers crossed that it won't have any legs

[Broken-hearted]

Any update extremely anxious?

[Extremely anxious]

No, I'm still waiting for the cps. I'm into the 8th or 9th week now. And it's still driving me mad.

[Broken-hearted]

Same here no progress 12 weeks in and he has been rebailed until October and advised that likely still won't be a decision then.

How are you holding up?

[Extremely anxious]

Same here no progress 12 weeks in and he has been rebailed until October and advised that likely still won't be a decision then.

How are you holding up?

I'm not on bail, I'm just in limbo of sorts. My heart goes out to you, my accuser came to the house the other week, talk about unreal. It's all been logged though.