Female being called a paedophile

[me15]

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME.
I am a woman aged 34 and have been friends with another woman, aged 32, for 10 years.

When I met her she was in a relationship with an idiot and pregnant with his child. She gave birth to her son and the relationship was rocky. I was there for her from when her son was born, I helped her financially and watched her son when she and her partner went out. Her son was happy in my company and as soon as he could walk he would take my hand to play blocks or cars with him on the floor.

My friend's partner did not like this and said on one occasion "what's going on between you and my son"? At this point his son was about 16 months old!! Shortly after the relationship with him and my friend broke down and he left, never to return. In the years that followed I looked after my friend's son for her whilst she went to work or went shopping or when she wanted a break. We went to the shops altogether, the seaside and I gave her thousands to buy him what he needed including me buying his school uniforms. He had computer games and he would always ask me to play them with him in his room, he said he enjoyed spending time with him and he was no problem. My friend also had no problem with this.

Then, just over 2 years ago, my friend started talking to her ex and before long he was living in her home and they had another son together. He had been absent for around 6 years.

Since he came back on the scene my friend no longer wants me around her son or her new baby, she said her partner said its not right a woman of my age wanting to play games with a child. She then said her partner thinks I'm a paedophile and that she does too. She said I'm a freak because I am only interested in other people's kids and she has stopped her mom from seeing her grandkids when I'm around.

She said she is going to 'see someone' about me and I'm terrified. All I've ever done is help her out and now because her partner is back and he's jealous because his son prefers my company to his she's jumping on everything he says as she's scared he will walk out on her again.

Please please help me, I'm worried she will tell everyone what she's calling me

[Lilyput]

Sorry your in such a horrible situation. Give your friend and her mum and kids a really wide birth. What she is saying is unforgivable but perhaps she's making empty friends so you'll do what her partner wants and stay away.

As for rumours there's nothing you can really do 😕😕😕 sadly. I would spend time with people who don't know this woman show her you were helping her and have no unhealthy interest in her children.

Silver lining is as the boy is older he would be able to tell the police nothing inappropriate happened between you both.

Hugs stay strong

[me15]

Thank yiu Lilyput, I appreciate your advice. I'm terrified the police or social services will come to speak to me if she tells them and they will investigate me, I've done nothing wrong and just don't know how or when this will all stop

[Rights Fighter]

Casehardened, would be a darling and please separate this out as I can't read it? Being dyslexic and on strong pain killers doesn't help my eyesight.

Cheers!

[Casehardened]

Casehardened, would be a darling and please separate this out as I can't read it? Being dyslexic and on strong pain killers doesn't help my eyesight.

Cheers!

Now done..........

[Rights Fighter]

Thanks CH

Obviously there can be any number of completely innocent reasons why you befriended this mum and her child. Are you involved with the family due to not having a family of your own? I ask as it is rather unusual for somebody outside of a family to spend thousands of pounds on a child that is not related to them.

It seems you may have been fulfilling a maternal need in yourself and this has now been misinterpreted as something far more sinister.

My advice would be to cut your losses and leave the family to their own devices. it seems you have been used emotionally and financially. You need to get out of this situation and do your best to keep right away from this family and therefore the situation where you could find yourself falsely accused of something awful.

[me15]

Thank you for your reply and advice, it's much appreciated. i must admit I am not at all maternal and have only become such a big part of my friend's son's life because she asked me to babysit so often whilst she was on her own. Because she was struggling financially on her own I lent her money for rent and bills etc and paid a lot towards presents for her son i.e ipad and Xbox. Before her partner came back she was more than happy to text me and ask me to babysit after I'd finished work so she could go out in the evenings and often she would be back so late I'd have no option but to get her son ready for bed, read him a story etc and do some tidying up in the house whilst he slept. As a result her son naturally says he enjoys my company because I spend time with him and listen to him, I guess what all kids want at the end of the day. However his now returned 'father' doesn't like this and as a result, my friend doesn't like it. I can't believe after all the help I've given her, the time and money I've invested, and she does this to me. I am very worried.

[YearsOfHell]

I feel a little of what you're feeling.
My OHs FA has told people that we bought her gifts to "keep her sweet" etc.
I used to buy her a small gift if she had helped me with the children, or helped me at home.
She is saying now that the toe ring I bought her is a promise ring from my OH!!!

It hurts when you've given things in good faith and its thrown back in your face!!
I do understand how you're feeling.

Her father has called both my OH and myself paedophiles.
He's even put this on social media.

We were nothing but kind and understanding to this girl when she was young and its heartbreaking when you then face allegations.

As RF says you need to cut ties as they're clearly not concerned with your feelings at all.
Keep your distance.

YoH