Need some advice

[Lilyput]

Really long story which I am honestly afraid to post on a public forum but don't know where else to turn.

My OH was accused a while back but with no arrest or charge, the only people who know are ones we confided in, a little bit of gossip got out but as he's not been charged it's old news and most now realise it was just a pack of lies. Everyone around here has been fine with my OH the last couple of months. With the exception of one family who decided to give us a 'wide birth' but we stayed civil and friendly.


Just over a month ago I witnessed an incident that got a bit heated, I wasn't one of the families in involved but this family were. The other families involved have been under attack for a while now and I was a bit in the middle.

Anyway trying to smooth things over a couple of weeks back, they got really cross about something I said and basically threatened to tell the school and everyone else about FA (not worded as nicely as that).
I was really shocked as we weren't even arguing or anything and have kept OH away from the school since then. The school don't currently know and even though were supporting the people involved I obviously can't tell them about this.

Considering moving schools now, which breaks my heart as it would be so disruptive but mud sticks and if it got out they'd have to go through school with that following them around. Just don't really know what to do now.

[YearsOfHell]

Oh lillyput
The repercussions go on and on don't they?
We are "lucky" in that we told the school of the hate campaign before anyone mentioned rape.
Our rape allegation was part of an ongoing campaign against us and others.
SS have visited the children's school and it was already known to the school as being malicious.
However, my constant worry is that, although the teachers are aware, the pupils are not.
My OH has been falsely named on social media as a Paedophile.
I'm sure it will only be a matter of time before the kids at the school work it out.
Our surname is not a particularly common one.
So far this hasn't happened and I pray constantly that it won't.
If it does, I feel that moving schools may well add fuel to the fire.
A wise person once told me that all the time you're showing a reaction to lies, you are "giving it legs"
If you ignore and brush it off saying its just rubbish and dismiss it then the fire dies out.
He said "If you're not the person they say you are then just prove it by living your life how you always have"
I don't know if this always works but I intend to test his theory!
We're not what they're saying we are so don't define everything you do by the FAs lies.
What would you do in this situation if there had been no FA?
Live like its the lies that it is.
Your good people.
Prove it by ignoring the idiots who believe the ****.
They can tell who they want.
It won't make it true.
Try and be strong.
If they see its not bothering you they may give up.
Best of luck
YoH

[Lilyput]

If it wasn't for FA I probably would have contacted the school had it been any other type of threat.

Another family involved had a threat of physical violence from them though because they didn't want to get in more trouble they avoided eye contacted etc at the school gates and left the threats outside school. I think as they feel they have something 'over me' the both come to the school everyday and keep staring etc. Obviously I'm not going to make school aware of FA myself so they can do what they want.

It was such a silly thing and everybody has been saying for a long time it's gone on too long.

[Lilyput]

My friend helped us get an interview at an independent christian school it's very small and would be a huge huge change and would not go down well with OH's family.

We're just going to look at see, in my heart I think it's the wrong choice but it may change my mind once we see it.

[Franticwithworry]

Follow your heart, lilyput. It would be a shame if these people were allowed to run you out of the school and upset things even more if moving schools wasn't something you really wanted.

You are so strong. You've weathered it all this far. Making the best decision you can for your kiddies is something you are doing every day, so go and look, and see what you think. If it's the right move, you'll know.

[Lilyput]

Thanks everybody, nothing has been said so far so I am guessing it is all talk. Finally bit the bullet and am going for some counselling on Monday tried really hard but I've lost eight months of my life over this.

[Franticwithworry]

Thanks everybody, nothing has been said so far so I am guessing it is all talk. Finally bit the bullet and am going for some counselling on Monday tried really hard but I've lost eight months of my life over this.

Knowing when to ask for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Good on you for reaching for it when you need to.