Facing False Charge

[Barry19]

It’s good to have found this site – it’s amazing to find somewhere with people who have been in similar situations.

The last few months have been the worse of my life. I can’t even say the word of what I’ve been charged with. It happened after both of us getting drunk, we had sex and she got upset and she immediately reported it to the police. I was arrested and taken in – they took my clothes and samples from me. I don’t want to go into all the details but it seems it just boils down to her word against mine. The fact that I had a lot to drink and can’t remember everything doesn’t help me but she has apparently a clear recollection of everything. I also have a conviction for assault from 2 years ago but that shouldn’t make a difference.

Since this happened my world has collapsed and I don’t know what to do. I’m 19 and am living away from home and I am doing an apprentiship but am on my final warning about that as I just haven’t been able to concentrate on that since all this happened. Some days all I do is just sit around smoking, watching TV and thinking and it’s getting me really down.

I feel lucky that I’m not at home as I don’t know what this would do to my family. They took it badly when I was in trouble last time – and I don’t think they could handle this. They don’t know about this but I know I can’t keep it from them forever as I will need their support when it comes to court. How can you tell your family that you’ve been charged with something like this?

I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like in prison if I get found guilty. I can’t imagine being in prison for years and don’t think I could cope. It was bad enough being arrested and spending a night in the cells. I have heard all the stories about the treatment ‘nonces’ get in prison and I don’t think I could face that.

I know I’m not guilty but I just feel my life is in bits and I don’t know how I can face this.

Not really sure why I posted but just trying to get my head around how people get through something like this. I’m going to read all the other posts here but it’s something to see that other people have been in this situation before.

[Rights Fighter]

You said:

I feel lucky that I’m not at home as I don’t know what this would do to my family. They took it badly when I was in trouble last time – and I don’t think they could handle this

Can I ask what trouble were you in last time? If it was a similar situation then you will certainly need to find yourself a decent solicitor as any previous similar fact convictions will be brought to the jury's attention.

Again, if it was something similar, maybe the time has come for you to stop getting drunk and going to bed with women you happen to pick up. It's likely she got upset because she a husband at home, or a boyfriend or an angry dad. Good luck.

[Saffron]

take care

Hello Barry

First of all, I echo what Rights Fighter said about getting a good solicitor. make sure you choose one that specialises in sex crimes, you can go to www.false-allegations.org.uk and they will be able to let you know of specialists in your local area. Don't just rely on the duty solicitor, they will almost certainly not be that interested.

write down everything you remember about that night, things you and your accuser said, especially if it pertains to consent. Many false allegations result from "post-coital regret", ie: the accuser had a partner at home, and felt guilty about her infidelity, or the sexual encounter was ggrubby and a bit sordid, and the woman felt used. Under current law, as the male, you are obliged to have specifically gained consent prior to sexual contact. if this consent was implied rather than actively sought, you are seen as being to blame. According to the law, just because she didn;t say "no" doesn't mean she meant "yes". Sorry if that sounds harsh, it is just the way the law views it.

I am a very vocal supporter of women being able to make a lucid decision even after a few glasses of wine, but the law is increasingly thinking otherwise. although, to quote a recent statement made by a judge "drunken consent is still consent," there is another school of thought that says that if the woman is drunk she is incapable of deciding whether she wants to have sex with a man. my own opinions can be found elsewhere on this site.

with regards to telling your family - well, have you been charged yet? if so, then i would suggest you tell your family. if not, i would wait and see if you are charged before making a decision. telling our families what had happened to my husband was incredibly difficult, but they came through for us in the end. and i can;t tell you how important it is for them to support you in court.

although the rape conviction level is very low overall, once a case gets to court, the likelihood of a conviction is far higher than the public perceive - about 60%. the jury are almost certain to believe the "victim's" story over yours. Again, sorry if that sounds harsh, but that is just the way it is. I really urge you to get a good solicitor.

Finally, please do not allow yourself to get inot this situation again. Just as a woman should not put herself in a vulnerable situation by being "home alone" and drunk with a stranger, so you, as a man should not. False accusations are far more prevalent than anyone realises. If all of us took a bit more responsibility for our personal safety, these thing would happen far less. Good luck.

[Barry19]

You said:

I feel lucky that I’m not at home as I don’t know what this would do to my family. They took it badly when I was in trouble last time – and I don’t think they could handle this

Can I ask what trouble were you in last time? If it was a similar situation then you will certainly need to find yourself a decent solicitor as any previous similar fact convictions will be brought to the jury's attention.

Again, if it was something similar, maybe the time has come for you to stop getting drunk and going to bed with women you happen to pick up. It's likely she got upset because she a husband at home, or a boyfriend or an angry dad. Good luck.

It was for nothing like this. Got done for assault but it was two lads fighting - that was it. I know what you're saying about not getting into these situations but it's too late for me now.

Hello Barry

First of all, I echo what Rights Fighter said about getting a good solicitor. make sure you choose one that specialises in sex crimes, you can go to www.false-allegations.org.uk and they will be able to let you know of specialists in your local area. Don't just rely on the duty solicitor, they will almost certainly not be that interested.

write down everything you remember about that night, things you and your accuser said, especially if it pertains to consent. Many false allegations result from "post-coital regret", ie: the accuser had a partner at home, and felt guilty about her infidelity, or the sexual encounter was ggrubby and a bit sordid, and the woman felt used. Under current law, as the male, you are obliged to have specifically gained consent prior to sexual contact. if this consent was implied rather than actively sought, you are seen as being to blame. According to the law, just because she didn;t say "no" doesn't mean she meant "yes". Sorry if that sounds harsh, it is just the way the law views it.

I am a very vocal supporter of women being able to make a lucid decision even after a few glasses of wine, but the law is increasingly thinking otherwise. although, to quote a recent statement made by a judge "drunken consent is still consent," there is another school of thought that says that if the woman is drunk she is incapable of deciding whether she wants to have sex with a man. my own opinions can be found elsewhere on this site.

with regards to telling your family - well, have you been charged yet? if so, then i would suggest you tell your family. if not, i would wait and see if you are charged before making a decision. telling our families what had happened to my husband was incredibly difficult, but they came through for us in the end. and i can;t tell you how important it is for them to support you in court.

although the rape conviction level is very low overall, once a case gets to court, the likelihood of a conviction is far higher than the public perceive - about 60%. the jury are almost certain to believe the "victim's" story over yours. Again, sorry if that sounds harsh, but that is just the way it is. I really urge you to get a good solicitor.

Finally, please do not allow yourself to get inot this situation again. Just as a woman should not put herself in a vulnerable situation by being "home alone" and drunk with a stranger, so you, as a man should not. False accusations are far more prevalent than anyone realises. If all of us took a bit more responsibility for our personal safety, these thing would happen far less. Good luck.

Thanks for your advice. My solicitor is good and believes in me which is good so I'm happy enough with him.

Yes I've been charged and bailed and as I said am just getting ready to tell my family which I'm dreading. But all you said is good so I appreciate that.

[Barry19]

Just to say thanks for the support a few months ago. Things have been sorted out - the charges were dropped and it's allover for me.

Things went from bad to worse at first as I got pulled back to court for making contact with the person who had made the allegations. It was made into something it wasn't and I was remanded in custody. Those were the worst 3 weeks of my life and I can't say enough what a hell prison is if you're falsely accused.

I got word from my solicitor that it looked like the charges would be dropped as she had changed her statement. It took a week of knowing that that was going to happen before it did and I just kept thinking positive eventhough I was locked up. I was never happier the morning I got out and was really happy how it turned out despite what happened to me.

[Rights Fighter]

Maybe you should take advice as to how to get the police to prosecute her for wasting police time and attempting to pervert the course of justice. She should be named and shamed in the press as are falsely accused guys.

Feel free to private message me her name (I might recognise it!)