Sister accusing Brother - a mother in need of support

[Franticwithworry]

So many people around or approaching the 1 year mark!

Hang in there everyone. I know it's hard, but we mustn't let false accusers and the system grind us down!! Being on bail is a kind of sentence of its own, punished though no guilt has been proven. It's difficult to remember, especially on bad days, but this limbo WILL come to an end.

The system is broken, but we mustn't let it break us!!

[Bartat]

Hi just to let you know and give you some hope, I too was accused by my sister of historical sexual abuse but was given a NFA after nearly a year. Unfortunately you will find that nothing moves fast and to be honest that's the worst part, the wait knowing you have done nothing wrong.

I really feel for your family and hope it is a positive outcome for your son, if I can give any advise it would be to get a good solicitor there are recommendations on this site and make sure your son says nothing or gives nothing to the police, it is very tempting to give them information to try and prove your inisence but this will be given to the accused who may then change their story to fit the facts, this happened in my case so don't do it, but do keep a diary of the period of time and write down anything he can remember it will help.

Good luck

[hangingontohope]

Thank you all.....

Thank you surplusyew, Lilyput, Jan11, Staystrong1, KB19, Franticwithworry, & Bartat!!
Just knowing you are out there offering support has made this nightmare so much more manageable

[can it get worse]

hi - just caught up with your thread.

I've not been visiting the forum for a while but so sorry to read of your situation.

Like others have already said - this is a waiting game. The only consolation is that you're not the only one going through this. We are all very familiar with the slow processes and the feelings of despair.

My partner's FA was an attention seeker, so although abhorrent to us, the individual will have received caring, sympathetic attention from the police throughout. This sickens me because they are merely feeding her appetite and causing worse scenarios for genuine victims of abuse.

I'm sure you wil be constantly searching for answers. We did and still do.

Have you got good legal representation?

Sending

[Staystrong1]

Just sending a hug as I always found bank holidays hard during it all. Keep being as strong as you are and you can get through this as we did. Xx

[hangingontohope]

Still waiting....

Allegation made by my daughter August 2015, and still waiting for a decision! My son has endured nearly 2 years sat on bail. How is this possible?

He's been rebailed multiple times, and the next is in June. Still no charge or NFA. So upset

[Franticwithworry]

We're not far behind you, hangingontohope. It makes no sense. I wish they would adopt the Henriques Report recommendations and accept the need to keep the accused informed of progress in the investigation - along with everything else recommended. This way of (not) dealing with things is SO distructive and we have no choice bt to deal withbit.

I keep telling myself - this too will pass.

[KB19]

Hi Hangingintohope and Franticwith worry have just caught up with your thread and so sorry to hear you are still in that limbo land , as it has been such a long time can only think they really are struggling to find anything to charge with . There really should be some sort of complaint procedure for that amount of time and dare I say it compensation for those FA and the amount of stead it carries for the person and there family maybe they would then investigate properly within the timescales I'm afraid I am not if the opinion they do not have enough resources more how they like to sit in groups by the seaside licking lolllies ( papers back along) says it all really but then I personally think most of them really need to go back to training school and are not the force that most people think they are .
Seriously hope that you will both get a response very soon, you really should not be in this situation I feel so mad for you both . take care .

[hangingontohope]

Still in limbo

Can you believe it is over 2 years now, and still no decision! Son has now had bail withdrawn but been informed by solicitor that the case is still ongoing. He can still be re-interviewed, charged or NFA'd. His solicitor hasn't been in touch with him for a while, and they were supposedly going to chase this up around the 25th July. No word yet. How is this possible? Anyone had similar wait. This is torture for me as their mother

[Franticwithworry]

We are still right behind you, hangingontohope. Almost 2 years, still getting rebailed and still being told that the delay is because they can't find any evidence. At some point they have to accept that there is none to be found, but goodness knows when that will be.

ETA Solicitors can't do much before a charge, but if yours were going to chase things up, a polite reminder might jog their memory. :-)

[imsam]

Oh my God TWO YEARS !!!! how awful for you all. We often forget how much the wait affects our parents and GF's as well.

Does anyone know how long the longest wait without charge has been?

I keep trying to assess if the long wait is good news...ie. they don't really have a strong case, or if it is bad news they are going ahead but just interviewing more people ( in my case people at the party)
My hope is that the FA will withdraw her accusation, although finding out she may get compensation wiped that hope away for me, as I know she is hard up a lot of the time.

I hope for your sake hangontohope that your case will end with an NFA very soon

Sam

[Franticwithworry]

I've been trying to find out but most of what is online relates to 2015 or earlier when the provisions 2017 Police and Crime Act were being considered.

3 1/2 years for a sexual crime being investigated by West Yorkshire Police was the longest I could find. Fraud charges can take even longer. I couldn't find any figures for 2016 or 2017 and everyone seems to have forgotten that the 2017 Act does nothing for anyone arrested prior to that or for anyone who gives a 'voluntary' interview.

I know it's only a tiny percentage of people who wait this long but that doesn't help anyone unfortunate enough to be part of that tiny percentage.

[Rights Fighter]

Unfortunately I have known quite a few who have waited over two years.

Hold on in there

[can it get worse]

I've got nothing to add but just wanted to send my thoughts to you in this extended experience. The wait and the unknown is nasty.

Not sure if this is any help but over the years on this forum, there have been many who are waiting a very long time with no progress. I suspect that there are so many allegations, many cases have to go to the bottom of the pile and the plod have to prioritise.

I'm sure this doesn't help you on a day to day basis. But I hope you can find some respite during this time and occupy your mind on better things.

[hangingontohope]

Thank you all.....

I appreciate your thoughts guys. I know we just have to wait it out. I guess I'm hoping no news is good news. But I know in this scenario anything can happen. I will update when I can, but in the meantime to all enduring this nightmare