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Hey Guys,
I know I haven't posted a lot on here however I've often dipped in and out of the forum watching people progress through the nightmare that is FA.
It's been a stressful and emotional time - in particular the past week but hopefully and what seems rarely we've finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel even if it is bitter sweet !!!
A week ago yesterday my OH presented for his 7th bail date which was again extended for another 4 weeks. By this time he has been on bail for 13 months.
Later that evening he spoke to his son who he has been stopped from having contact with since before he was even arrested (we received a solicitors letter from his ex wife 3 weeks before arrest stating he was under investigation for rape and couldn't see his son ?!?). He pursued contact through the courts but hit a stalemate when social services recommended supervised contact until case was resolved but he was given indirect contact via phone calls and texts (up until this ex wife blocked ALL communication). Last week his son got distressed in a phone call as he missed his dad and the desperation was affecting him emotionally.... Everything spiralled when my OH broke down and we ended up arguing and separating as he felt he couldn't cope with anything any longer - his head was full of the false accusations and it had taken every ounce of life out of him.
He ended up phoning the OIC asking what was happening and expressing the distress this was all causing his son - she'd said the case was with the CPS and would be concluded very soon as it's been with them a while. Believe it or not - the OIC offered to chase the cps up regarding the matter and came back to OH saying that the solicitor dealing with the case had been off on compassionate grounds and so had recently returned and would finished her review or whatever it is they do and hopefully he'd have an answer within 2/3 weeks .... Needless to say more frustrations!!!
It's been a very upsetting and emotional week however we're now speaking and close to each other but still separated in the hope that once the FA nightmare is over we can start again and put the whole nightmare behind us ....
After we split I was contacted by the Accuser (his ex girlfriend) informing me he had been cheating on me with some girl who she named, that this is 'how he works' that he's a monster and I need to join forces with both her and his ex wife to get him put in prison. She was very explicit in the accusations she'd made (many which he wasn't even given charges of) stated that despite selling a love story to a national magazine 8 weeks earlier (which she was paid nicely for) she then went to his ex wife making accusations of rape and domestic violence. The ex wife took her to the police, sat in with her during the video interview and then gave the police a statement collaborating FA's accusations saying the same happened in their marriage (despite her later telling cafcass in their report that there was never any episodes of violence etc in their relationship). They also got the police to interview the 12 year old son who supposedly 'witnessed' the rape .... All he witnessed was her leaving the house crying after an argument however he was told to tell the police he saw his dad hurting the false accuser 😡.
It made me physically sick to hear what they were saying about him and how they were literally setting him up. She told me to speak to his ex wife direct as she's well educated (a teacher) and can give me the 'right words' to say. She spoke of the OIC saying that he is nice and he makes you feel 'believed' so not to be scared of saying things to him (the OIC is actually a woman and not a man). The case in her words was supposedly the worst case the Sargent had ever experienced in 20 years and they said he was a demon who needed stopping (thought this was odd). She even went on to say we'd be like the "three musketeers" and she'd keep me right and support me through the reporting procedure which she'd tell me what happens!!!!
Naturally I was so distressed about it all and I did share it all with OH - I saved the text messages although I couldn't go through them again as it distressed me too much.
Anyway, that brings us to today ..... I've just received a call from my other half and he said he's received a phone call from the OIC to be informed that the case has been dropped and it's a big fat NFA 😭😄😭!!!!!
The OIC has said there is an appeals process which the FA can follow and she thinks it may be the case however we're a bit vague about this so if anyone can help with advice I'd really appreciate it.
But now it feels like a huge huge weight has been lifted from us both and finally a path ahead can be seen.
Where our relationship stands now I do not know and can only hope we can work it out as we've come so far .... The challenge starts now for contact with his son and to prove just how vindictive both his ex wife and ex partner have been.
OIC has been informed of the FA contacting me and encouraging me to make False Accusations and she's said it is very wrong and that the police would be happy to take a complaint and she'd be given a warning (a joke considering they have both committed perjury or something similar.
That's another battle though and for now I just thank God the first road to hell is over - I never ever doubted my OH and I only hope he can return to the man I originally met (we were together only 2 months when this **** started so it has dominated our relationship).
Sorry this is so long winded but I wanted to thank everyone for their support and kind words on the days I never thought this would end, despite you all having your own nightmare journeys through false accusations.
And to everyone still waiting decisions or appeals - please please don't give up hope - there may be times when you think it's never going to end but it will and hopefully bring positive endings for you all X
I know I haven't posted a lot on here however I've often dipped in and out of the forum watching people progress through the nightmare that is FA.
It's been a stressful and emotional time - in particular the past week but hopefully and what seems rarely we've finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel even if it is bitter sweet !!!
A week ago yesterday my OH presented for his 7th bail date which was again extended for another 4 weeks. By this time he has been on bail for 13 months.
Later that evening he spoke to his son who he has been stopped from having contact with since before he was even arrested (we received a solicitors letter from his ex wife 3 weeks before arrest stating he was under investigation for rape and couldn't see his son ?!?). He pursued contact through the courts but hit a stalemate when social services recommended supervised contact until case was resolved but he was given indirect contact via phone calls and texts (up until this ex wife blocked ALL communication). Last week his son got distressed in a phone call as he missed his dad and the desperation was affecting him emotionally.... Everything spiralled when my OH broke down and we ended up arguing and separating as he felt he couldn't cope with anything any longer - his head was full of the false accusations and it had taken every ounce of life out of him.
He ended up phoning the OIC asking what was happening and expressing the distress this was all causing his son - she'd said the case was with the CPS and would be concluded very soon as it's been with them a while. Believe it or not - the OIC offered to chase the cps up regarding the matter and came back to OH saying that the solicitor dealing with the case had been off on compassionate grounds and so had recently returned and would finished her review or whatever it is they do and hopefully he'd have an answer within 2/3 weeks .... Needless to say more frustrations!!!
It's been a very upsetting and emotional week however we're now speaking and close to each other but still separated in the hope that once the FA nightmare is over we can start again and put the whole nightmare behind us ....
After we split I was contacted by the Accuser (his ex girlfriend) informing me he had been cheating on me with some girl who she named, that this is 'how he works' that he's a monster and I need to join forces with both her and his ex wife to get him put in prison. She was very explicit in the accusations she'd made (many which he wasn't even given charges of) stated that despite selling a love story to a national magazine 8 weeks earlier (which she was paid nicely for) she then went to his ex wife making accusations of rape and domestic violence. The ex wife took her to the police, sat in with her during the video interview and then gave the police a statement collaborating FA's accusations saying the same happened in their marriage (despite her later telling cafcass in their report that there was never any episodes of violence etc in their relationship). They also got the police to interview the 12 year old son who supposedly 'witnessed' the rape .... All he witnessed was her leaving the house crying after an argument however he was told to tell the police he saw his dad hurting the false accuser 😡.
It made me physically sick to hear what they were saying about him and how they were literally setting him up. She told me to speak to his ex wife direct as she's well educated (a teacher) and can give me the 'right words' to say. She spoke of the OIC saying that he is nice and he makes you feel 'believed' so not to be scared of saying things to him (the OIC is actually a woman and not a man). The case in her words was supposedly the worst case the Sargent had ever experienced in 20 years and they said he was a demon who needed stopping (thought this was odd). She even went on to say we'd be like the "three musketeers" and she'd keep me right and support me through the reporting procedure which she'd tell me what happens!!!!
Naturally I was so distressed about it all and I did share it all with OH - I saved the text messages although I couldn't go through them again as it distressed me too much.
Anyway, that brings us to today ..... I've just received a call from my other half and he said he's received a phone call from the OIC to be informed that the case has been dropped and it's a big fat NFA 😭😄😭!!!!!
The OIC has said there is an appeals process which the FA can follow and she thinks it may be the case however we're a bit vague about this so if anyone can help with advice I'd really appreciate it.
But now it feels like a huge huge weight has been lifted from us both and finally a path ahead can be seen.
Where our relationship stands now I do not know and can only hope we can work it out as we've come so far .... The challenge starts now for contact with his son and to prove just how vindictive both his ex wife and ex partner have been.
OIC has been informed of the FA contacting me and encouraging me to make False Accusations and she's said it is very wrong and that the police would be happy to take a complaint and she'd be given a warning (a joke considering they have both committed perjury or something similar.
That's another battle though and for now I just thank God the first road to hell is over - I never ever doubted my OH and I only hope he can return to the man I originally met (we were together only 2 months when this **** started so it has dominated our relationship).
Sorry this is so long winded but I wanted to thank everyone for their support and kind words on the days I never thought this would end, despite you all having your own nightmare journeys through false accusations.
And to everyone still waiting decisions or appeals - please please don't give up hope - there may be times when you think it's never going to end but it will and hopefully bring positive endings for you all X
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