16 Year Old Son Falsely Accused of Historical Attempted Rape

[Jen]

Hi All

It took me several days to have the courage to google this. So scared the police would find out and it would strengthen their case. Found this website and have been reading the stories and finally had the courage to join.

Two weeks ago my 16 year old was arrested at home for attempted rape. The incident took place 7 months ago. He has been released on police bail until the end of July, with instruction to not talk about the case to his two best friends and have no contact whatsoever with another. Our lives are shattered. Each day I realise the huge impact that this is having and will have on our lives.

My son strongly denies it. I have read messages between them that support this. He has had his phone, IPad and PC taken from him.

I have informed the college because two of the potential witnesses are at his college.

Today the three boys received letters from the police which I am presuming is saying they need to be interviewed. I know it mentions sexual offence, because the boy my son is not allowed to have any contact with is already talking about it to everyone. My son's friends are now all finding out about it.

Social Services want to come round and see him/us.

This has turned our whole world upside down and made even worse by knowing that it might not end anytime soon.

Reading other member's posts have been helpful, so thank you.

[Scaredlad]

So sorry you find yourself here. Pass my best on to your son and I hope it all sorts out quickly. Puts your whole world on hold but there are positive stories as you've seen. Just be there for him and we're all here for you both.

[Mattie52]

Hi Jen,
Am so sorry you find yourself here - however like you I plucked up the courage to post a few weeks ago and have found the people on here to be an amazing support. I think you are all probably in shock but as that wears off you will find the courage - as cliched as it may sound to just focus on getting through a day at a time. Sending good thoughts to you and your family.

[Soanxious]

Hi All

It took me several days to have the courage to google this. So scared the police would find out and it would strengthen their case. Found this website and have been reading the stories and finally had the courage to join.

Two weeks ago my 16 year old was arrested at home for attempted rape. The incident took place 7 months ago. He has been released on police bail until the end of July, with instruction to not talk about the case to his two best friends and have no contact whatsoever with another. Our lives are shattered. Each day I realise the huge impact that this is having and will have on our lives.

My son strongly denies it. I have read messages between them that support this. He has had his phone, IPad and PC taken from him.

I have informed the college because two of the potential witnesses are at his college.

Today the three boys received letters from the police which I am presuming is saying they need to be interviewed. I know it mentions sexual offence, because the boy my son is not allowed to have any contact with is already talking about it to everyone. My son's friends are now all finding out about it.

Social Services want to come round and see him/us.

This has turned our whole world upside down and made even worse by knowing that it might not end anytime soon.

Reading other member's posts have been helpful, so thank you.

So sorry you are going through this. Like you I took a while to join this site and have found it invaluable in getting advice and support from others who have gone or are going through similar experiences. It helps to know there are people out there who understand what you are going through. The initial shock will wear off but be prepared you will have good and bad days. Look after yourself, so that you can stay strong for your son.

[slowdown73]

Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. I can only sympathise as like many others we have also been there and some are still going through it. I can understand your concerns about accessing a website like this but you are obviously here because it's a malicious allegation and are not going to admit to something you haven't done so anything you post here is unlikely to help support the Police in their case.

I hope your son's college has been supportive about the situation? Do you have any other children? I think social services have a duty to complete an assessment for anyone under 18 in your son's situation but also if you have other children but i can understand if you feel apprehensive or cynical about their involvement because let's face it, if the allegation hadn't been made none of this would have happened.

I hope your son is getting some support too? Allegations can affect different people in different ways and it's important he has someone to speak with such as a counsellor. Yes, it is a traumatic experience and will change your whole perspective on life but hopefully you will come out the other end stronger.

[Lucky]

comply with all the social services want, they can be very very important in these investigations.

Hoping that you have a decent solicitor at your side, if not please check the relevant thread for recommendations in your area.

make sure your son knows that you are there to support him no matter what. young ppl often find it harder to shake off the stigma that such an allegation can have.

I sincerely hope you guys get through this.

and no matter what, make sure your son does not go to social media to try and argue his case out.

[Jen]

Thank you

Thank you for all your support and valuable advice. I am reminding my son on a daily basis sbout what/how he should be communicating.

The college have been ok - in that it wasn't the perfect student before this happened. So have said he needs to get into college and try his best.

Social Services are coming round on Monday. They want to speak to me but also to my son on his own. They also talked about the possibility of needing to share this with my other children's schools. Although I want to be as helpful as possible at this stage, he hasn't been charged, and I am unclear what they would be seeking to achieve from this. Therefore my feeling was that if they do suggest this (they said I would need to give permission), I would not give permission at this stage but would reconsider if he was later charged. They didn't say for definite that they would want to do this but I would like to be prepared in case they ask.

Thanks again

[mumpleasehelpme]

Hi Jen,
A few years back we went through this with our son and his friend. They were taken through the courts and had a jury. From day one we done everything in our power to fight the lies this woman made. We have never been through so much worry. With the amount of evidence we gathered, my lovely son and his friend was found not guilty by the jury. Her disgusting lies fell apart in court and the jury seen through her. Please stay strong and if you need any help please contact me. (Hugs)

[hello88]

Thank you for all your support and valuable advice. I am reminding my son on a daily basis sbout what/how he should be communicating.

The college have been ok - in that it wasn't the perfect student before this happened. So have said he needs to get into college and try his best.

Social Services are coming round on Monday. They want to speak to me but also to my son on his own. They also talked about the possibility of needing to share this with my other children's schools. Although I want to be as helpful as possible at this stage, he hasn't been charged, and I am unclear what they would be seeking to achieve from this. Therefore my feeling was that if they do suggest this (they said I would need to give permission), I would not give permission at this stage but would reconsider if he was later charged. They didn't say for definite that they would want to do this but I would like to be prepared in case they ask.

Thanks again

i think in all fairness it would be good for your other childrens schools to know. It would be worth speaking to them first (before social speak to them) because this is something that is going to put a strain on the family, no matter how hard you try and hide it you're other kids will pick up on it and they need the appropriate support from school. Also, although they say its with/without permission it will in the long run go against you if you refuse to allow social services to speak to them, it will come up on every report, you need to take their advice as much as possible and allow them in every part of your and your childrens lifes, because you have nothing to hide!

Keep strong x

[Jen]

Thank you everybody for your very much appreciated support and words of advice.

[janjoe10]

Hi.
I feel for you. We have been going through the same with my son for the last 14 months. We go to trial in 3 weeks. Social services have been quite good with us and my younger sons school know in case of any impact on him although there hasn't been upto now as we don't speak about it where he is.
Its been he'll my son has attempted suicide and has serious mental health problems cos of this. I pray we get through the trial and we get the right result. I don't think life will ever be nor,al again but we are strong and they won't grind us down xx

[slowdown73]

When I was accused of a false allegation two years ago, social services became involved because I have contact with a number of children through my partner's family. Each of the three local authorities responded quite differently though. One family just received a phone call. Another spoke on the phone and social worker wanted to come out but in the end saw the children in school. The other family received a home visit and the children were seen on their own. I had no involvement or say in how they dealt with the situation. Although none of the children were informed about the allegation, the parents were all spoken to ensure they were aware of the situation and I was not allowed any unsupervised contact with any of the children. I was also told if I was charged then it's likely the children would also be told which I found most worrying.

The problem is when social workers start coming into schools and speaking to 15 or 16 year olds without being open about the reasons why, the children are not stupid and know something isn't right and start questioning it. Luckily my partners family were supportive and thought of something plausible but it still caused us all a lot of apprehension and added worry. I would advise to co-operate and I think you are within your rights to say you don't want the schools to be informed but at the end of the day they may inform the schools anyway but this would de dependent on how they assess your situation. They will also take into account other factors like how often your child has contact, whether you agree to supervised contact at all times and if there are any other concerns or issues. At the end of the day though, it's all very unfair when it's a false allegation because once people like the schools are told about an allegation, it's out in the open and there's no going back.