Six months today- Feeling drained.

[Lilyput]

Today is six months since the police came to my OH's work and I'm just feeling so drained/really cross this has taken a whole half a year of our lives. Despite the witnesses going against FA and two flipping officers recommending NFA, we're still in limbo.

I know it's a drop in the ocean compared to some and could be a lot worse but just feel like we've really been let down by the police and CPS.

[Franticwithworry]

I know how that goes. We will be over the 6 month mark when it gets to the next bail hearing in a few weeks and have no idea where things are at the moment. My man is frightened to ask either the OIC for an update or a solicitor for advice in case it has some sort of negative effect. It's like we can't do anything without panicking, and I'm wishing my life away, hoping that the bail date will come around soon so we'll know something. Anything.

The strain is unbearable and I wish I could use sleep the time away, but I can't. We have to find a way to raise the money for a defence in case he's charged. What a way for man on the edge of retirement to have to be living!! Our health is is suffering and for what? For them to say that it's going no futher but your family is ruined anyway and there is no recourse? I'm so thankful we don't have small children to consider so I do know that it could be worse. I'm trying hard to be sensible, but I can't stop the tears today.

I taught my children that if they told lies, they would be punished, but society is telling them different. Society is telling them that they can be as vindictive and manipulative as they like, the lies can be as dreadful and damaging as they like, and no-one in authority will care. No-one in authority understands that our men are victims as much as people who are genuinely raped or sexually assaulted.

I looked at the CPS website and it brushes false accusations under the carpet as 'very rare' and even then makes no acknowledgement of the fact that the falsely accused are victimised and stained, and their lives are in shreds. It goes on about 'this terrible and heinous crime' and in fact they assume that every file that they have deserves a guilty verdict and has a victim. The language is very, very biased. There is no impartiality at all.

I read something about only 2% of police bail being over 6 months but it feels as if it's all sexual crime, and that if it's 'non-recent' (nothing like changing the wording, do they think that makes it sound 'better'?), that it can wait in the back burner, it's somehow less important. I just don't believe it takes all these months to investigate. All these people that get told 'We need more information', just go and get it! It shouldn't take months to go and take a statenent from someone!

Sorry to go on, but it's a bad day today. I could scream til my throat hurts. I've tried it, but it doesn't help. I don't suppose slitting it would help either. I have a little bit of my sense of humour left, thank goodness.

Sorry for the rant.

[Lilyput]

I agree it doesn't take months at all the case spends most of it's time sat there not being looked at... my OH's has been at the CPS five months now one has had five minutes to give it a glance.

The only work that was done on his case is far as I can tell is interviewing FA, phoning her witnesses interviewing my OH phoning his witness marking it NFA and sending it to CPS... considering the LIE was told nearly a year ago that is not a years worth of work right there. The CPS haven't even looked as it's 'non priority' I wish they would see it is a priority to the people worrying about this on a daily basis. I honestly feel it's about an easy conviction, if it's historic there isn't DNA evidence so it's a harder conviction.

My OH was afraid to contact anybody too and when he did he kept meeting dead ends. He contacted his solicitor two weeks ago who is going to petition the case go NFA if the CPS still haven't looked in two weeks time. For the first time ever I am praying the CPS don't look at it before the 18th!!

I am so cross with the police as they more or less told his solicitor they KNEW he was innocent and her story didn't make any sense. Yet they still wasted tax payers money sending it to CPS... sol thinks it's to save there statistics. What kind of human beings treat a person they believe to be innocent that way?? They have given a horrid pathetic liar months and months of attention by dragging this out.

[Lilyput]

I don't think you have anything to lose by contacting your solicitor as if he doesn't think there's anything he can do to help he'll tell your so as OH's did in the beginning.

[Franticwithworry]

I don't think you have anything to lose by contacting your solicitor as if he doesn't think there's anything he can do to help he'll tell your so as OH's did in the beginning.

We don't really have a solicitor yet as Rightsfighter here was saying that there's nothing they can do before a charge and it's not fair to ask them, but I called Chris Saltrese's office in desperation one day. The young man I spoke to was lovely and very reassuring and he suggested that I get my man to call and talk to Chris, but he's worried that if a solicitor contacts the the police, they will think that there is substance to the lies and that a solicitor might talk to the police even if he doesn't want him to. I pointed out that he doesn't even have to say the name of the OIC if he doesn't want to and he knows, most of the time that it's just panic talking when he worries about things like that.

I think he will call eventually. We can't carry on worrying like this. Even having talked to someone the worry builds up again over time. We'll have heart attacks or strokes or something if we're not careful.

Thank you for your reassurance though. When it's just me and the four walls, the gremlins in my brain enjoy the overtime.

Edited to add: The CPS could do well to work smarter not harder. If they just allocated some time to dealing with the 'easy' cases that they could close quickly, they could get a lot of cases dealt with and reduce their piles. They must have some idea of what's in the new files that land on their desks to know what to work on and what to ignore. Seems like no-one dishes out common sense with the training.

[Lilyput]

Some solicitors are more proactive than others every case is different... but you are right they can't change the result. I'm really frightened there is enough to charge and we are pushing the CPS to charge much earlier and losing the only time we'll ever have left as a family. Big hugs to you and your family though, such a horrible horrible situation to be in.

[Franticwithworry]

Thank you. And hugs to you and yours too.

[Rights Fighter]

We don't really have a solicitor yet as Rightsfighter here was saying that there's nothing they can do before a charge and it's not fair to ask them, but I called Chris Saltrese's office in desperation one day. The young man I spoke to was lovely and very reassuring and he suggested that I get my man to call and talk to Chris, but he's worried that if a solicitor contacts the the police, they will think that there is substance to the lies and that a solicitor might talk to the police even if he doesn't want him to. I pointed out that he doesn't even have to say the name of the OIC if he doesn't want to and he knows, most of the time that it's just panic talking when he worries about things like that.

That would have been Harry you spoke with. He is lovely

It's rare that Chris would call a OIC prior to charge so please don't worry about that. And he wouldn't do that if he thought there was a danger to the accused.

Chris only does private client trials as LA would only pay for a fraction of the work he does and the time he puts in.

[Franticwithworry]

That would have been Harry you spoke with. He is lovely

It's rare that Chris would call a OIC prior to charge so please don't worry about that. And he wouldn't do that if he thought there was a danger to the accused.

Chris only does private client trials as LA would only pay for a fraction of the work he does and the time he puts in.

Yes to everything you say.

Harry had said that it might be possible for a solicitor to find out how the investigation was going and if a rebail was likely, and we were worried that the police would think that involving a solicitor would make the police think - 'must have something to hide and be guilty.'Harry said, no, that it sent the message - 'I am innocent and will defend this strenuously.' Worry coming up to the rebail date was what prompted my call. It would be a private client situation, and somehow we will pay for whatever we need to. Good legal representation is priceless and it's relatively rare, it seems.

It's horrifying to think that a perfectly innocent man can have his words twisted to the extent that he can end up in jail. My mind explodes thinking about it. The thought of the kind of person my man has been to the people who are now treating him so badly, the kindnesses he has done for the people who are now tearing him to shreds, it breaks my heart.

[Rights Fighter]

Yes that is absolutely correct of course! It shows that you are interested in what is going on, and that you will fight, using a well known solicitor, as Chris is, if you have to.

A solicitor can maybe find out if there is to be a rebail, although it's very unusual for a solicitor to persuade the CPS to NFA.

With the quote usually comes a QC or a fab leading barrister. And me if you need my help, of course!

[KB19]

Today is six months since the police came to my OH's work and I'm just feeling so drained/really cross this has taken a whole half a year of our lives. Despite the witnesses going against FA and two flipping officers recommending NFA, we're still in limbo.

I know it's a drop in the ocean compared to some and could be a lot worse but just feel like we've really been let down by the police and CPS.

I really do understand how you feel and can it believe that your still left in limbo just makes me so it is now 5 months for OH just taken out of the house ( they also gad been watching me at work ! ) and left our house like a lit up beacon am sure for FA benefit. It does feel like your life as you knew it has been washed away however hopefully in your case and Oh it will end someday soon not much help I know just wanted to share your frustrations too.

Franticwithworry- we are also no small children at home so cannot imagine the pain for parents on here with littlies too, OH is much the same as yours reluctant to call anyone unless I really nag - and really feeling that he will not be believed . He has also spoken to Chris and Harry both lovely just really scared how our lives will be .

[Franticwithworry]

Harry gave me a quote and I will sell everything I have and live in a cardboard box if necessary. At the moment we don't know but think maybe the file is with the CPS. My man has said he will call and speak to Harry or Chris soon. They may be able to shed some light on that.

I know a solicitor can't sway the CPS no matter how good they are, nor make them work any faster, but knowing we can have good people like you in our corner is a great relief.

Thank you for being there. This morning was very dark, but you and everyone on this thread have made things brighter. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I hadn't found you all here.

PS I'm sorry, lilyput, I hijacked your thread a bit.

[Lilyput]

I feel dragging it out is for FA's benefit tbh... OH's FA is always on her soap box about something and at first interview when OIC said he was recommending NFA sol warned my OH that she seemed the type to appeal. I think they drag out months and months so FA's will feel they were believed and the police did everything they could in case it gets NFA'd.

There is an unrelated FA in OH's family so I know for a fact even when it's NFA'd quickly and the story is moronic... the police come to the 'victims' house and comfort them. Then the 'victim' can brag about how seriously the police took it, as my cowbag of SIL often does.

[Lilyput]

Harry gave me a quote and I will sell everything I have and live in a cardboard box if necessary. At the moment we don't know but think maybe the file is with the CPS. My man has said he will call and speak to Harry or Chris soon. They may be able to shed some light on that.

I know a solicitor can't sway the CPS no matter how good they are, nor make them work any faster, but knowing we can have good people like you in our corner is a great relief.

Thank you for being there. This morning was very dark, but you and everyone on this thread have made things brighter. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I hadn't found you all here.

PS I'm sorry, lilyput, I hijacked your thread a bit.

Nahh you haven't we're all waiting the same amount of time and in the same boat it would seem sadly... so post away

[KB19]

I just find it so hard to understand how CPS can take so long or is it a exercise to get more money from the government based on the we can't cope strategy? . Whatever it is it is very wrong that innocent people have to abide by the demands made by some OIC"s and the not knowing , probably thinking about it ( although you would think the Fa's would want things dealt with ) I am with Lilyput maybe there is not enough evidence and its dragged out for the benefit of Fa's, it's a horrid world being in the control of the police and not just OH's life but spouses and relatives too. When will the pain and heartbreak end ...........