Feeling shocked!!

[Kittykat23]

I saw my partners sister today she came up to me and said that their is proof that he did rape her and her sister and that the medical examination they both went through that will show that, also I got told that her brothers have now made claims of sexual assault so that's 5 of them all saying they've been wronged by my partner and that he will get re-bailed on Tuesday but will be getting interviewed Thursday or Friday now would she know that? Wouldn't he get charged by now if their is evidence or is she lying I just have no idea I'm in shock to have even seen her let alone been told all that now I just don't know what to believe no matter what happens my partner will never have contact with his sons again that's been confirmed so our relationship is over I just don't know how to feel after hearing all that I really thought he was innocent but I just don't know how all this works and they all lie so hard to know what to believe :'( feel heartbroken and feel really sorry for my 2 sons :'(

[jittery]

hi

I saw my partners sister today she came up to me and said that their is proof that he did rape her and her sister and that the medical examination they both went through that will show that, also I got told that her brothers have now made claims of sexual assault so that's 5 of them all saying they've been wronged by my partner and that he will get re-bailed on Tuesday but will be getting interviewed Thursday or Friday now would she know that? Wouldn't he get charged by now if their is evidence or is she lying I just have no idea I'm in shock to have even seen her let alone been told all that now I just don't know what to believe no matter what happens my partner will never have contact with his sons again that's been confirmed so our relationship is over I just don't know how to feel after hearing all that I really thought he was innocent but I just don't know how all this works and they all lie so hard to know what to believe :'( feel heartbroken and feel really sorry for my 2 sons :'(

I don't know what to say to you! As if you hadn't had enough, there's all this to contend with now too! I don't know a lot about how these things work, but I think I've heard that accusers get to know what's going on a bit before the accused. How much info they get I don't know. I think all you can do, weak as it sounds, is to hope they are just doing this out of malicious spite and that they don't really know anything.
I personally had a letter telling me I was not required to attend my bail date, but I have heard of people who have not been told a thing until they turn up on the day.
Good luck
Stay strong!

[Kittykat23]

I don't know what to say to you! As if you hadn't had enough, there's all this to contend with now too! I don't know a lot about how these things work, but I think I've heard that accusers get to know what's going on a bit before the accused. How much info they get I don't know. I think all you can do, weak as it sounds, is to hope they are just doing this out of malicious spite and that they don't really know anything.
I personally had a letter telling me I was not required to attend my bail date, but I have heard of people who have not been told a thing until they turn up on the day.
Good luck
Stay strong!

I was sticking by him as I honestly thought he was innocent his older brother said that he is but I just don't know anymore I'm not allowed no communication or contact with my ex partner as social services have told me it's not looking good but yet again that's all I'm getting told. I'm due in 22 days with his second son and I'm excited but not the life I wanted to give him. Neither do I she brought up my past as she knew I was raped because her parents had said when they came to child protection conferences I just never proceeded with the case just wanted to get my life back on track and get better why she mentioned it I have no idea. Oh right I just don't know if what she's saying is true and even if it is and the medical examinations do proof he did do what they're saying would he be brought in by now? Just got so much going round my head. I'm hoping it is out of maliciousness but no matter what my ex life is ruined as even if things do go good for him his still lost his children and me. Thank you I don't know I hear everything of his mum so by the sounds of it nothing has been said so far just the solicitor saying he might get charged about 2 weeks ago but nothing more has been mentioned. Thank you such a rubbish situation and everyone suffers :'(

[Aidy]

Hey there, there is a lot to take in on your post!

I can only comment on what you have posted, as I can't remember your other posts!?
But i'm sorry to say it sounds like a really crappy situation all round!

I suppose they could know if your parter could be interviewed again next week!!
That is if others have made similar claims that it!??
That said, his sister could be trying to get in your head??

Whatever happens, lets assume he is charged with the offence....he would still surely need to go to court etc where he could fight his corner??

As to you believing him, that is only something you can answer!

Just keep posting and take care x

[hello88]

I saw my partners sister today she came up to me and said that their is proof that he did rape her and her sister and that the medical examination they both went through that will show that, also I got told that her brothers have now made claims of sexual assault so that's 5 of them all saying they've been wronged by my partner and that he will get re-bailed on Tuesday but will be getting interviewed Thursday or Friday now would she know that? Wouldn't he get charged by now if their is evidence or is she lying I just have no idea I'm in shock to have even seen her let alone been told all that now I just don't know what to believe no matter what happens my partner will never have contact with his sons again that's been confirmed so our relationship is over I just don't know how to feel after hearing all that I really thought he was innocent but I just don't know how all this works and they all lie so hard to know what to believe :'( feel heartbroken and feel really sorry for my 2 sons :'(

personally i think you should contact the OIC immediatly and inform them of this encounter.. make it clear that she approached you.. if you can send by email even better as you have proof you informed them..

she shouldn't really be talking you and i'm pretty sure she should definitely not be talking about the case! You should inform OIC before bail date, or at the very least contact his solicitor so they can pass that on.

and in my opinion, if you were raped you wouldn't want to go up your rapists wife (pregnant wife) and tell her all that info!!!

Now.. there is a very high chance that they are saying it because things arn't going there way and if they've made up the horrendus lie to the police then they are more than likely to walk up to you and say a lie.. on the flip side the amount of times i wanted to tell the people who got the person to make the accusation that my OH is coming home (when at the time i didn't know) just because i wanted to make it look like i'm winning, we're winning, she would be the same, she saw you and thought of something to say so it looks like she is winning. I havent yet read your other posts but is it historic, if so it'll be pretty hard to bring up medical proof!!! and also i'm pretty sure from this forum that if it was a re-interview it would be on the day of bail.

Really.. take it with a pinch of salt... if you beleive she lied in the first place than she is lying now... keep strong.. its all intimidation!!

[wakingnightmare]

This is a horrible situation, you've such a lot going on.

His brother obviously still believes him. What about his Mum she's been supportive previously is she still?

Wasn't this historical abuse? Personally I think at this point she's trying to mess with your head. Your relationship with her brother is over, he can't see his children so she doesn't need to warn you off to protect them. She is out to cause as much trouble as possible. He's abused 5 people and they've all kept quiet until now. Why?

Perhaps she's telling the truth only time will tell but at the moment you've not be shown any independent evidence that she is telling the truth.

You say he'll never see his children again. I'm assuming SS have stopped contact at present. Is it definite that he can have no contact ever or do they just mean if he's found guilty. I remember there was previous SS involvement is this the reason.

I've asked lots of questions sorry & made some assumptions but I'm just trying to understand your post.
You must look after yourself and your boys first and co operate with SS. There doesn't appear to be firm evidence against him yet just hearsay of the accuser so try to hold your nerve.

[Kittykat23]

Hey there, there is a lot to take in on your post!

I can only comment on what you have posted, as I can't remember your other posts!?
But i'm sorry to say it sounds like a really crappy situation all round!

I suppose they could know if your parter could be interviewed again next week!!
That is if others have made similar claims that it!??
That said, his sister could be trying to get in your head??

Whatever happens, lets assume he is charged with the offence....he would still surely need to go to court etc where he could fight his corner??

As to you believing him, that is only something you can answer!

Just keep posting and take care x

I don't know how you join posts together. It is a really **** situation as when his got interviewed it was only his 2 sisters that made the allegations of rape however today I've been told that his brothers have made allegations of sexual abuse and physical abuse so that's 5 allegations made now by all his brothers and sisters on his dad and step mums side yet they made threats last year 2015 twice of rape to there oldest daughter but now saying they didn't know nothing about it till she told them. Such a messed up family!!

I don't know what to think or believe as his solicitor said he might get charged was the last thing she said when she rang him 2 weeks ago but that he wasn't going to get reinterviewed so I have no idea if he is or not but would his sister know the days? That's what I have no idea about!! Social services have said its not looking good so yet again I don't know how much they know as not telling me much either just working with me through a child in need plan.

She's claiming there's medical evidence to back up their allegations yet wouldn't he be charged by now and would there be any point for it to go to court if there's evidence to back there allegations that's the only thing that's really got me thinking at the moment as doesn't make sense!

I want to believe him I really do I just don't want to feel anymore broken than what I am at the moment! Thank you I'll definitely keep posting and keeping my fingers cross for something positive x

[Kittykat23]

personally i think you should contact the OIC immediatly and inform them of this encounter.. make it clear that she approached you.. if you can send by email even better as you have proof you informed them..

she shouldn't really be talking you and i'm pretty sure she should definitely not be talking about the case! You should inform OIC before bail date, or at the very least contact his solicitor so they can pass that on.

and in my opinion, if you were raped you wouldn't want to go up your rapists wife (pregnant wife) and tell her all that info!!!

Now.. there is a very high chance that they are saying it because things arn't going there way and if they've made up the horrendus lie to the police then they are more than likely to walk up to you and say a lie.. on the flip side the amount of times i wanted to tell the people who got the person to make the accusation that my OH is coming home (when at the time i didn't know) just because i wanted to make it look like i'm winning, we're winning, she would be the same, she saw you and thought of something to say so it looks like she is winning. I havent yet read your other posts but is it historic, if so it'll be pretty hard to bring up medical proof!!! and also i'm pretty sure from this forum that if it was a re-interview it would be on the day of bail.

Really.. take it with a pinch of salt... if you beleive she lied in the first place than she is lying now... keep strong.. its all intimidation!!

How do you go about emailing them and who do I email sorry I have no idea about reporting it as wouldn't have a clue who to speak to. I'll get his mum to contact his solicitor as I'm allowed no communication with him at this present time and she'll have the solicitors number. She basically told me who's supporting her and more about the case regarding my partner another case regarding someone step dad and her mental health.

I wouldn't have thought so as only reason like I said they know about my past was because my son was put on a child protection plan before he was born and that was one of the things that was mentioned on there as well as my alcohol addiction and depression but his off all that now and on a child in need plan (supervision order) as they had my son removed out my care so had to fight tooth and nail to get him back through the courts and I did and they hated it as they made up so many lies about me that the case was going by a lot of hearsay than actual evidence!

Yeah its historic they're going by when the oldest was 2 years old 2001-2014 3 accounts on each other the 2 sisters. I was just more shocked as I'm sticking by my partner best I can and then got told that I just hope his that family suffer if this is a lie because it's a nasty thing to make up and it's destroying a lot of people's life's

I have no idea how they go about all this but I was surprised as his solicitor did say he won't get re-interviewed so that's what confused me and to why it would be a Thursday or Friday when his bail is on Tuesday I have no idea! Thank you for the advice will try and stay strong for him and keep you all posted

[Kittykat23]

This is a horrible situation, you've such a lot going on.

His brother obviously still believes him. What about his Mum she's been supportive previously is she still?

Wasn't this historical abuse? Personally I think at this point she's trying to mess with your head. Your relationship with her brother is over, he can't see his children so she doesn't need to warn you off to protect them. She is out to cause as much trouble as possible. He's abused 5 people and they've all kept quiet until now. Why?

Perhaps she's telling the truth only time will tell but at the moment you've not be shown any independent evidence that she is telling the truth.

You say he'll never see his children again. I'm assuming SS have stopped contact at present. Is it definite that he can have no contact ever or do they just mean if he's found guilty. I remember there was previous SS involvement is this the reason.

I've asked lots of questions sorry & made some assumptions but I'm just trying to understand your post.
You must look after yourself and your boys first and co operate with SS. There doesn't appear to be firm evidence against him yet just hearsay of the accuser so try to hold your nerve.

I'm going to speak to his mum this evening at 10 just to inform her on what I've been told today and his brother said if he had done what his been accused off someone would have known ages ago.

Yeah it was historical abuse 2001-2014 the oldest would have been 2 at the time and they weren't all born then so that's why none of this is making sense! I have no idea why they're all suddenly coming forward at the minute and yet all my partner knows it's the 2 girls as that's who he got interviewed about! The only thing I'm worried about is why social services are saying it's not looking good?

Social services are going by his mental health and this allegation that's why no contact and looks like they're going on a definite basis by the sound of it! They've been involved for nearly 2 years now but done everything they've asked just pointless cin meetings that all the concerns are based on my partner and his family.

Thank you really appreciate the advice and I'll keep on doing what I'm doing at the moment just a waiting game to see what happens next!

[hello88]

I don't know how you join posts together. It is a really **** situation as when his got interviewed it was only his 2 sisters that made the allegations of rape however today I've been told that his brothers have made allegations of sexual abuse and physical abuse so that's 5 allegations made now by all his brothers and sisters on his dad and step mums side yet they made threats last year 2015 twice of rape to there oldest daughter but now saying they didn't know nothing about it till she told them. Such a messed up family!!

I don't know what to think or believe as his solicitor said he might get charged was the last thing she said when she rang him 2 weeks ago but that he wasn't going to get reinterviewed so I have no idea if he is or not but would his sister know the days? That's what I have no idea about!! Social services have said its not looking good so yet again I don't know how much they know as not telling me much either just working with me through a child in need plan.

She's claiming there's medical evidence to back up their allegations yet wouldn't he be charged by now and would there be any point for it to go to court if there's evidence to back there allegations that's the only thing that's really got me thinking at the moment as doesn't make sense!

I want to believe him I really do I just don't want to feel anymore broken than what I am at the moment! Thank you I'll definitely keep posting and keeping my fingers cross for something positive x

has he been arrested or called in for these extra allegations?? if he hasn't then don't beleive the accusations are real unless he is called in for them.. i'm pretty certain that they would have to bring him in straight away for questioning if their is any more accusers come forward. I don't quite understand why you're not alowed to details of his solicitor or to speak to him, i know he wouldn't be able t tell you about how the case is actually going but at least you can pass on the relevant information.

I got my OIC email because i phoned D&C police to speak to her (on 101 not sure if that's the same for other areas) and asked to speak to her and they said she wasn't there and then asked if i wanted her email instead. I downloaded google streak which means that if you have gmail it tracks and tells you when your email has been viewed, not necessary but i was at the stage of backing everything up as much as possible. Try and remember and write down the exact time and location as well.

If you have OIC name or maybe a crime number might get you through. Don't ask though if its true or not but just say... i need to make you aware that ___ approached me today and told me...... maybe put it as you are enquiring like "is she allowed contact with me because i have made sure i don't contact or speak to her because of this investigation" or something like "i'd appreciate it if you could kindly ask her not to approach or contact me" or something like that.

hope that all makes sense lol

keep strong xxxxx

[jittery]

hi

I was sticking by him as I honestly thought he was innocent his older brother said that he is but I just don't know anymore I'm not allowed no communication or contact with my ex partner as social services have told me it's not looking good but yet again that's all I'm getting told. I'm due in 22 days with his second son and I'm excited but not the life I wanted to give him. Neither do I she brought up my past as she knew I was raped because her parents had said when they came to child protection conferences I just never proceeded with the case just wanted to get my life back on track and get better why she mentioned it I have no idea. Oh right I just don't know if what she's saying is true and even if it is and the medical examinations do proof he did do what they're saying would he be brought in by now? Just got so much going round my head. I'm hoping it is out of maliciousness but no matter what my ex life is ruined as even if things do go good for him his still lost his children and me. Thank you I don't know I hear everything of his mum so by the sounds of it nothing has been said so far just the solicitor saying he might get charged about 2 weeks ago but nothing more has been mentioned. Thank you such a rubbish situation and everyone suffers :'(

Well that makes it even worse for you I'm guessing. You don't know anything for sure yet. I'm just wondering why she brought up your past: apart from wanting to hurt you as much as she can. It may be that she's just getting a kick out of the whole thing. " Not looking good" can cover a multitude of options from the social services' point of view. Are the allegations historical or recent? I get the impression it's a historical allegation that would make me wonder what these new 'proofs' are.
All I can suggest is that you try to dismiss what this girl has told you. It's only hearsay. If your ex might get charged, he might equally not. Try not to let these circular thoughts overwhelm you and reach for the pluses around your life. What were your initial reactions- he's innocent, right? The first feeling's usually the right one.
Pretend you never saw this girl and think the way you were thinking for now- there's no harm in that.
Try and enjoy your weekend and stay strong! I'll check this post tomorrow if I get chance

[slowdown73]

Hi, you're in a horrific situation where you're clearly torn between your partner and family members. It's difficult to know who to believe as people do make false allegations but also there are genuine victims out there too. If there have been other allegations made, then I suspect it's only a matter of time before your partner will be interviewed. It might be worthwhile either yourself or him contacting the Police and informing them about the conversation but making it clear she approached you.

It sounds like your partners sister is just making a general comment about the medical to try and back up her story. I'd be surprised if the Police have told her that her medical basically backs up her story. I don't think they work like that and the Police have to be careful what information they do share with an accuser because it could compromise their entire investigation. For example, I watched a TV programme about the police and CPS and there was a woman who accused a man of sexual assault outside a night club. However, an independent witness came forward to say it was consensual which basically undermined her story. The Police were not allowed to share this information with the accuser and even though they had reservations about whether there was consent, the case still proceeded to Court but she lost the case as a result of the independent person's evidence.

[Kittykat23]

has he been arrested or called in for these extra allegations?? if he hasn't then don't beleive the accusations are real unless he is called in for them.. i'm pretty certain that they would have to bring him in straight away for questioning if their is any more accusers come forward. I don't quite understand why you're not alowed to details of his solicitor or to speak to him, i know he wouldn't be able t tell you about how the case is actually going but at least you can pass on the relevant information.

I got my OIC email because i phoned D&C police to speak to her (on 101 not sure if that's the same for other areas) and asked to speak to her and they said she wasn't there and then asked if i wanted her email instead. I downloaded google streak which means that if you have gmail it tracks and tells you when your email has been viewed, not necessary but i was at the stage of backing everything up as much as possible. Try and remember and write down the exact time and location as well.

If you have OIC name or maybe a crime number might get you through. Don't ask though if its true or not but just say... i need to make you aware that ___ approached me today and told me...... maybe put it as you are enquiring like "is she allowed contact with me because i have made sure i don't contact or speak to her because of this investigation" or something like "i'd appreciate it if you could kindly ask her not to approach or contact me" or something like that.

hope that all makes sense lol

keep strong xxxxx

No he hasn't been called in for anything he heard from his solicitor 2 weeks ago saying he might get charged that's the last thing his Heard and his bail is on Tuesday so getting pretty nervous but speaking to whoever we can get hold off on Monday about what his sister has said before bail as I'm hoping somehow it helps but not getting my hopes up more people are starting to know friends of there family which is making things worst for him as he doesn't feel safe.

Yeah I've told his mum everything the time and location and where I was and who I was with and that I got approached and then told that so they've got everything they need to tell them and if they want to come round to check out my information their more than welcome too I don't know if they will or not as don't know how these people work apart from being on the victims side by the sound of things I've read.

Yeah definitely makes sense, thank you I'm just trying to stay out of it for the sake of my son and pregnancy but I guess because of her I'm sort of involved more now but I'm starting to think what she's saying is a load of rubbish as if forensic evidence was found on the medical examinations then they would have charged him not wait this long all I can do is hope and prey that my partner is found innocent and this malicious lie is dealt with so he can concentrate on his health.

Keeping my fingers cross and thank you for the advice xxx

[Kittykat23]

Well that makes it even worse for you I'm guessing. You don't know anything for sure yet. I'm just wondering why she brought up your past: apart from wanting to hurt you as much as she can. It may be that she's just getting a kick out of the whole thing. " Not looking good" can cover a multitude of options from the social services' point of view. Are the allegations historical or recent? I get the impression it's a historical allegation that would make me wonder what these new 'proofs' are.
All I can suggest is that you try to dismiss what this girl has told you. It's only hearsay. If your ex might get charged, he might equally not. Try not to let these circular thoughts overwhelm you and reach for the pluses around your life. What were your initial reactions- he's innocent, right? The first feeling's usually the right one.
Pretend you never saw this girl and think the way you were thinking for now- there's no harm in that.
Try and enjoy your weekend and stay strong! I'll check this post tomorrow if I get chance

I have no idea why she brought up my past as hasn't got any relevance to this case what so ever and it's just a sick and twisted game of revenge I'm guessing. Oh right I thought they would know a bit about what's going on that's why I was worried that it meant my partner was guilty I guess my mind playing tricks on me. All the allegations are historical so I have no idea what proofs would have been found if any that's why I would have thought that if anything would have been discovered by now that he would have got pulled in and charged. Thank you I've always thought he was innocent even when his family threatened the allegations last year I never once thought about questioning them as they're just sick people and they had my son in there care thinking they had him for life proved very wrong as all they done was slate and the whole case was based on hearsay so I got him back after 5 months of fighting for him. Thank you having to stay strong for my son and also my unborn son as well seeing a friend tomorrow so hopefully that'll keep my mind off things xxx

[jittery]

hi

I have no idea why she brought up my past as hasn't got any relevance to this case what so ever and it's just a sick and twisted game of revenge I'm guessing. Oh right I thought they would know a bit about what's going on that's why I was worried that it meant my partner was guilty I guess my mind playing tricks on me. All the allegations are historical so I have no idea what proofs would have been found if any that's why I would have thought that if anything would have been discovered by now that he would have got pulled in and charged. Thank you I've always thought he was innocent even when his family threatened the allegations last year I never once thought about questioning them as they're just sick people and they had my son in there care thinking they had him for life proved very wrong as all they done was slate and the whole case was based on hearsay so I got him back after 5 months of fighting for him. Thank you having to stay strong for my son and also my unborn son as well seeing a friend tomorrow so hopefully that'll keep my mind off things xxx

It's easily done, our mind's've all played tricks on us in these situations. That's the spirit, try and stay positive